Location: Unnamed Forest, Firewatch's Workshop
Filia's (Firewatch) P.O.V
I remember my childhood memories vividly in my mind. All of them were like the golden age in my life, and I wish that it could go on forever but life does not permit immortality. Neither happily ever after.
The words are happy and sad. Two controversial topics discussed by the community among youth in this modern world. To me, the definition is simple... Happy is happy and sad is sad.
I yearn for a simple life, but the turn of fate fuels my anger and revenge against the people who destroyed my clan. Leaving us, (Y/N) and me to despair as younglings that lack the ability to adapt.
But...
Only a while ago I rethink my decision... What if I go back to wish for a simple life. After 14 years trying to find a clue of who destroyed our clan, I have not even found a single clue yet which I concluded that I should move on..... even though it will be hard to.
Living in a forest and relax throughout the years until I die of old age, is not a bad idea. In addition, I could ask (Y/N) to join me if he wants to so that I would not die out of loneliness.
[Filia?] - (Y/N)
My ear twitched as I glance from my shoulder. I stopped swinging my legs on the large earthed root and focus my sight on the man of the hour.
He changes so much after years has passed. I even considered the possibility of him discarding me if I get to meet him again... which I fear.
Yet again, fate seems to be on my side today and he seems to be almost the same when we were still children. His eyes are narrow with an upper edge giving the impression of someone very delicate. The mole on near the edge of his right eye complements the sharp look he has, and dark-gold coloured eyes are warm to look at.
[Stop staring at me for too long... Do you miss me that much?] - (Y/N)
[Miss you? I've been searching for your whereabouts for 14 years. What do you think?] - Filia
(Y/N) awkwardly scratches the back of his head and sheepishly smiles. His raven-black hairs still look wet, as it seems to shine under the moonlight. He took light steps toward me and looked up seeming to be wondering on how to get climb this tall root that I am on.
This scene triggers my unwanted memories. He helped me to get up on a tall wall by using himself as support. Once I got up, I reached out my hand towards him which.... it does not reach at all. Strangely, he did not panic about it and simply said, 'Run'
Back to the present, I turned my face away and focus my gaze back onto the starry night sky. I sighed feeling a bit depressed by it.
[Sad about something?] - (Y/N)
[Was it obvious?] - Filia
I thought that my face is already stoic enough that it will not crumble involuntarily, but it seems like I can still express my emotions properly.
[Clear as day] - (Y/N)
[Your stepfather recently passed away, and you're not sad?] - Filia
He seems to be taken back for a bit, and look down on the ground. His face was not a happy one but he tries to endure.
A tiny bulge could be seen going down his neck and he took a deep breath. I could hear some sniffle from him as he wipes off a tear with the sleeves of his new jacket.
[This is nothing to fuss about... and you don't have to worry about me] - (Y/N)
[Look at me...] - Filia
My tone was serious as I look at him with stern eyes. His words are definite, but he could not hide the sorrow in his voice. I have seen people like this before... Only one though, which is me.
I know how it feels to lose people who I cherish... the difference is, I was alone back then after that tragedy. Nobody to talk about it, even Rhodes Island I only told some about it because the others seem to not want to be bothered with my backstory.
He tried to gaze straight into my eyes but shifts his head away after a few seconds. In his second attempt, the same result happened with a bit of droplet.
Out of irritation, I hop my buttocks near to him with no space between us and grab his cheeks. I force his face towards mine and tears could be seen pooling in his eyes.
[There is no use hiding your emotions] - Filia
[I have to...] - (Y/N)
[Keeping it in would only make it worse....] - Filia
[I don't want people to get hurt because of me] - (Y/N)
[Everyone already knows pain] - Filia
My hand was still on his cheeks as I look into his eyes. I soften my gaze as I see hid tears flowing out.
There is no world where sadness does not exist. If there is a person who is always happy, he or she definitely has a mental disease. What makes emotional creatures beautiful is their emotions. Expressions, movements, sensations and individuality are the foundation of them.
If I were in his situation, I would react like him as well but what has happened, happened. No backspace and change, there is only forward, avoiding the same mistake and improving ourselves.
[You'll devolve into an insane person if you don't talk to anyone about it] - Filia
[It's not 100% that I'll become insane......] - (Y/N)
[Don't be stubborn, I almost become one in the past so I know it feels to be in your place] - Filia
Yes, the scar that etched on my mentality still bothers me until today. Wounds can be healed but scars do not, a sentence that can present the dread of a certain memory from a person. That is what I thought before until I realise something... Scars could be replaced.
[I know it would be hard for you to move on but, do me a favour] - Filia
[Because you're the only person left that I cherish] - Filia
I could say that I am bold when it comes with (Y/N). Maybe it is because of my personality to blurt out what I wanted to say, but not all. When it comes to strangers, most the time there will only be silence and tension.
I took released his face feeling that he was getting uncomfortable from it.
[How about them in Rhodes Island?] - (Y/N)
[I decided to leave, do you think I care anymore? They don't even bother much about me leaving anyways] - Filia
With a laugh, in the end, I slapped my kneecap as if it was a routine. It was colours and happy when I joined, but after years it seems the whole thing went down the drain after (Y/N)'s mother died because of Rhodes Island's fault.
[Other than asking me... I should be asking you] - Filia
[Since you help me calm down a bit... Ask away] - (Y/N)
I ponder for a while and thought of a quick question to lit off the tension he felt.
[You still like blue underwear?] - Filia
[No, I prefer going commando than wearing any. It feels like restricting my lower half] - (Y/N)
Eh? Am I drunk or not? Probably I misheard that just now.
[HAHAHAHAHAAHA! That was an act of revenge for disappointing me about joining me in the bathroom] - (Y/N)
[Wha- I thought that was true for a second] - Filia
Well, if it was true, my face will be a mess with red right now because we are sitting very close to each other.
[Wait... What do you mean by dissappoi-] - Filia
[Next question!] - (Y/N)
I will interrogate him later about that. It is not that hard to get information if you know something specific about him.
[After that incident happened, you dropped the internship in Rhodes Island. Where did you continue?] - Filia
His sighs and took a deep breath. 'I'm feeling nervous about this, give me a minute' he said while looking up to the stars and my eyes follow as well.
That peak my curiosity for years now. (Y/N) only stayed for 6 months for his internship in Rhodes Island and then mysteriously disappeared to somewhere else. No news, no information about his location and no pictures of him in public surveillances. As if he was gone into thin air.
Only after a few years, his name appeared on the most back of a newspaper typed in small letter appeared, under the title of Graduated Doctors. All of the doctors besides him was stated to graduate from official internships, except for him. After that, there are no more updates on information about him.
Not until when he wanted to go to Chernobog, as a description similar to him was reported back in Rhodes Island which stimulated my mission.
[I finished my internship in The Reunion] - (Y/N)
Such simple words shocked my mind. It is not that I am bothered by the fact that he went to The Reunion. More like, how did he got in contact with them?
[When?] - Filia
[5 years and 6 months ago] - (Y/N)
I wanted to ask more but I think it felt like a sensitive topic to talk about. It took a moment to absorb his words as open his mouth again.
[Even if I learned in The Reunion, in the end, I didn't join them] - (Y/N)
[I don't have enough money to continue my internship in Rhodes Island so, there is not much choice for me but to go to them] - (Y/N)
[Who was it? The one who gave you the chance?] - Filia
He looked trouble by it for a second and shrugged it off. It seems like he was contemplating to either tell me or not and ended his decision by lightly smacking his lips.
[It was a tall woman with white hair. Just that, and she told me to zip my mouth about her name] - (Y/N)
[Wait... around 5 years ago, there were rumours about a rising illegal doctor calle-] - Filia
He snaps his fingers to cut off my sentence. There was firmness in his face while gazing at me with regretful eyes.
[Don't remind of that title... I regret being called that] - (Y/N)
[So you were that operator?] - Filia
He looked back up to the sky and slightly bend his back to relax.
[Not an operator, but as an intern] - (Y/N)
[Being an intern does requires you to work for them...] - Filia
[That term differs them from me] - (Y/N)
Maybe, I should move on to the next question. Though, I am curious why W is persistent about him.
[Who is W to you?] - Filia
[W? Who is that?] - (Y/N)
[A reunion operator, who lent her jacket to you. The one that I took off] - Filia
He glanced at somewhere as if trying to think of something. At that moment, he went wide seeming to realise something.
His hands grab both of my shoulders, and I could see his shocked face closer to mine.
[A girl with short white hair and red-ish eyes?] - (Y/N)
[So you do, know her?] - Filia
He calmed down again and retracted back, with his hand on his forehead. I concluded that he was feeling a headache.
[After all these years, I didn't know she was a Reunion Operator] - (Y/N)
[How many years you're talking about here?] - Filia
[4 years...] - (Y/N)
I see what is going here, W was either sent to monitor on him or she met him by a chance. It will be a 50:50 chance that either two could occur... Or both of them happened at the same time.
Most importantly, I have to know what is his answer to this.
[Do you love her?] - Filia
His eyes went wide once again and his cheeks redden.
[W-well, I do....] - (Y/N)
[......] - Filia
How long has it is been that I have not indulged in bundles of emotions? It seems the man that I look up for already has his eyes on someone else.
[But....] - (Y/N)
That lits up my hope back. There is nothing that I want but a chance for this.
[Knowing that she didn't tell me about being a Reunion Operator does hurt me...] - (Y/N)
[Then....] - Filia
I force him to look at me again as I could feel myself wanting this to happen. I bet that right now I look pathetic with emotions swirling in my heart. Yet again, this is something that people come to realise that one day, that we will need it.... love.
[Accept me....] - Filia
Letting my emotions take the wheel... I kiss him.
___________________________________________
(A/N: To be honest with you all, it feels long that I have not updated this book but I check back in my calendar, it only comes close to a week. I miss writing, for real, and thank you towards a particular person for reminding me to update this fanfiction.
It is kind of my fault that I didn't keep with my schedule properly. See you in the next chapter, estimated either on tomorrow or Saturday. Anyways, Au Revoir.)
(2160 words excluding Author's Notes)
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