I must be the stupidest person on this planet.
The youngest. The dumbest. The weakest.
When I had the chance, I could have done better. I could have saved my brothers from getting those whiplashes. I could have saved Misty.
"Again?"
Yes. Again.
The guilt couldn't just go away. There was no closure. Only accusations. Only regrets.
I had made my parents, my brothers upset. I had let my sister be thrown to those monsters to whom I was myself terrified to go to.
And Misty was gone, now.
"Natalie."
The long sighs from him had become a regular thing in our newfound relationship. One week of spending time with Axel had opened doors for new hope and smiles. Yet the deepest sorrow in my heart was dominating all these precious moments.
I couldn't even smile back at my mate, knowing what could be happening with Misty right now.
Shutting the bathroom door after him, he would knowingly enter the room shirtless every night. He liked showing off his seductive measures because he knew that they were working.
This feeling was new and scary.
I hated the concept of throwing myself at some male or dominating one. Eva's open flirts with males of other packs would always disgust me. Keira too would shy away at seeing those handsome and charming Alpha and Beta sons.
Maybe, the pup in me hadn't grown then But now, I felt grateful to Moon Goddess for writing a mate in my fate. Especially, someone like Axel. Someone who could understand me when no one else did. Someone who loved me when no one could.
Switching off the bed room lights, the lamps on the sides of bed stayed on. He walked to the gallery door, opening it to let the loose curtains flow by the night wind.
Walking towards his side of the bed, I observed the black boxers in the dark that were putting his muscled thighs on display.
"Why do you open the door? What if someone comes in? No one patrols the house," I asked absentmindedly.
He tilted his head while removing his slippers. "I do. No one dares come here. Only the Alpha or Beta can. Nirvan has no interest. Even if Pete wants to come here and hit me like he loves to do, he can't anymore. We are official now, babe."
I sighed heavily, looking away, loosing myself back in thinking about Misty again.
Sitting on the bed, he relaxed on the pillows beside me. "I'll say it again, every day if I have to. You are not at fault, Natalie."
Tears collected at the back of my eyes. Shame filled all of my senses. He was just trying to do what every mate would do in this situation.
His big hand caught mine, resting on the bed, making me turn my head. Raising my eyes at him, I saw the concern in his eyes that looked too foreign after seeing him bullying Thomas for years.
"You say that to make me feel better, Axel. I appreciate," I told him softly, my voice coming out like a squeak. "But the Goddess knows, I am at fault. From the very full moon night. . ." I stopped myself and gulped hard.
I had been starting this same conversation every night. Axel would keep on talking sweet things in my ear until I would feel better. But the conclusion was still not changing in my mind.
". . . I have ruined Misty's life, Axel." I choked out, sniffling slowly.
"Hey. Hey. Hey," he whispered while wrapping his arm around my back on the pillows and touching my chin. Pushing my face gently so I could look in his grey eyes, he shook his head. "She is with her mate. You did the best job under Moon Goddess' watch. Okay?"
Tears fell quickly as I sniffled. "Mother says, it comes back to you anyhow. I ruined our lives too, Axel. Misty will forever curse me. Forever. I have disappointed everyone. Your parents, even they don't like me. . ." I wept softly.
His eyebrows straightened. "No. They don't. They couldn't even imagine me mating to an Alpha's daughter, Natalie. They are on cloud nine. Just that, they know that we skipped our rituals. But it doesn't make any bad impression, babe. They adore you," he cooed in my ear, making me stare at my bare thighs in the lamp's light.
". . . And Misty. Yes, she might be angry. But not on you. She would be angry on Pete who made her a part of this deal. On Nirvan who threw her like a rag doll without any mercy. She will hate on her fate more than any other thing or being, love. It's the destiny that she has to be there for the good. . ." He kept whispering.
Pushing the strand behind my ear, he added, "You tried to save her. Thomas did. But no one can stop it from happening. No one could. I was bound by my duty. So was Pete. So was Nirvan. Wolves tried to save her, Natalie. But it had to happen."
I gulped hard, breathing in the fragrance of his aftershave. Vision blurred again with tears. "If I had told you about us being mates that full moon night, things would have been different. We would have exchanged the rituals. We wouldn't have been sitting here like this, calming down my demons. If I had told father about the Lycan I saw that night, he would have gotten the idea of Misty being the target. She could have been saved," I squeaked out.
He hummed slightly. "But sooner or later, the news could have gotten to the other packs. Then, even your father couldn't have saved her just like how it actually happened. Pete would still have been helpless."
"Who would dare to spread that news?" I scoffed lightly.
He nodded. "Beta Iago? He pushed his sister across the border as a Beta, not a brother. The brother in him would have have definitely leaked the news. Even if he is loyal, someone else from our pack would have done it."
"Pack comes first," I said, looking at him. "No one would betray my father like that."
"Fine," agreed Axel while nodding in thought. "But Pete would have felt guilty even then. He is self-esteemed and honest. Even if you have told this secret to your family in between during the days of preparation for the Ceremony, they still would have failed to save her. Remember, how Pete was dying to cross that border? He nearly killed your brother-in-law. Something like that would have happened to Misty too."
I hummed in thought, imagining it all. "I only saw his red eyes that night. He was there to charm her only, not me or any other she-wolf. Thankfully, her whole focus was on saving me," I said, whimpering as my throat shook again. "She has been so kind to me, Axel. She had agreed to take me to the city. She forgave me too without any thought, any grudge."
Axel cupped my cheeks, making me look at him. My nostrils flared along the soft sniffles. "Like I said. She would have anyway ended up there only. Her mate must be someone lucky. Goddess truly hears him if this impossible case happened this easy in tricky ways. Took two months for a human to get there to him. The fates played with her on his requests to the Goddess."
"Brother Pete has been so passionate," I said quietly. "Enough to hurt Leo. Enough to send Misty to those Lycans so they won't kill his mate. Goddess doesn't listen to his requests?"
"The Goddess didn't choose border, Natalie. Alpha Rucus did. Requests should be made to him. I wonder if Pete thought of this," he joked, chuckling lightly while wiping my cheeks.
I breathed softly while turning on my side to face him fully. He removed his arm from my back and put under his head on the pillow, staring at me with a dreamy smile on his face.
"I made a request to him. He listened. He really does," he said humorously, in a soft voice.
I sighed, feeling my wet lashes still collecting unshed tears. "What did you ask for?" I whispered.
He grinned. "The hottest she-wolf I have ever seen, as my mate."
I blushed, slightly felt ashamed again. "You should have asked for a smart one instead," I said weakly. "I have not entered my mate's house after performing all the holy rituals. I have been thrown out of my house by my Mother who now hates me. Father is disappointed too. He didn't talk to me since then, Axel. He always talks," I said shakily, a sob breaking out.
"He is hurt too. Misty was his responsibility. He would always take my side. No matter if I was wrong. He didn't stop mother when she threw me out, Axel." I said, blinking the tears away.
Rubbing my arm, he leaned closer to wipe my tears off my nose bridge.
"Then, you talk to him. We have given them enough space to mourn and overcome this pain. They'd still be angry at you, for all the wrong reasons. But you can do this the other way, love. Asking for forgiveness and creating a hope in their heart," he whispered while running fingers through my hair, bringing me relief.
"What hope? No one came back from there. She is stuck for life," I told him. "She is stuck with him in the afterlife too. I have destroyed her completely," I said, shaking as a sob escaped me. "Her ambitions. Her Gran. Mother. Thomas. Keira. They all are cursing me, Axel."
"No one is cursing you," said Axel, raising his tone, growling lowly.
I was startled by the sudden anger.
"I dare them to do it. Her bloody fate, it is." He said angrily, releasing rough breaths. "No one's fault. No one dares to say anything to you when I am here, to protect you." He said, lowering his voice when I put my hand on his bicep to calm him.
Raising himself, he hovered over me with that intense gaze stuck on me, making my lips part.
Heat filled my ears, my thighs and my blood.
My eyes closed when he lowered himself slowly, moving his rough hand against my bare thigh to up above to caress my waist from underneath the spaghetti.
Butterflies erupted in my stomach while waves of shyness were flowing all over my skin. Wetness appeared shamelessly just like the full moon night when I was too horrified to admit it myself too.
Eyes closed when his other hand pushed back the already spread hair on the pillow. He liked touching my hair, playing with them a lot.
"Nirvan was describing us the duties in upcoming days. He also talked about how the pack needs to get normal so a plan could be made. Thus, all duties would continue like the life before Misty happened. But secretly a dream team would work on bringing her back," he said, rubbing his hard lips against my bare shoulder, making me sigh in pleasure.
His hot breaths tickled my skin and all of a sudden, I felt like a woman. A grown female.
I blinked in ecstasy when my hand reached for his naked back on its own.
"Every plan has failed. No female was successful in even showing up from that side. That's a dead end he was talking about," I said, breathing erratically, opening my mouth absentmindedly.
Axel hummed in disagreement. "Nirvan seemed confident. It simply means, Ivan has an idea. Pete is continuously going to Stephen's house every evening. This ain't a joke. It's a serious plan and you could be the biggest contributor in bringing Misty back."
My eyebrows furrowed and all my drugged senses turned alert. "How?"
Axel pulled his face back to look in my eyes. "You managed to lie effectively. Enough to make Eva narrate the escape plan so Misty could hear it too," he said, making my heart beats calm. "You and Keira stayed with Misty. You both know how Misty will understand the signs. We will link this plan to Ivan's plan, and the escape will happen."
I chuckled sadly. "That sounds like a dream hard to come true."
Axel nodded with a smirk. "Dreams do come true, Natalie. If we keep the hope of getting it true alive and start working for it."
My name sounded so beautiful in his manly sleepy voice.
"And it has already begun. Keira's Uncle had signed her a message which she might have understood already. If she overcomes the trauma and gets ready, the impossible can happen," he explained thoughtfully.
"Misty liked Keira. She stayed with her more than with me. I made her upset that full moon night. Keira will have the upper hand while I won't be able to help," I told him the truth.
Axel sighed slightly, staring at me with a small smile on his face.
I loved this expression on him. He looked innocent whenever he would do the thinking.
"Plans work not by having the upper hand, Natalie. But by joining the hands," he said, making some new doors open in my mind. "Your smartness is needed there in that team. Pete needs you in convincing your mother that destiny doesn't compromise. Thomas needs you because he is habitual of being with you. He got whiplashes for his sisters, the male has my respect."
A smile came upon my lips.
"Your parents need you too because they love you. Eva is gone and Misty too. Alyssa is there but you know, they need you too. They don't hate you. They are just hurt. Especially, your mother. She will say some harsh things but she doesn't mean them. It hurts every kind soul when a vulnerable person gets hurt, and no one can do anything to save him or her." He whispered, putting his finger underneath the strap of my grey spaghetti.
"I will go and help," I said, more to myself, biting my lip unsurely. "I'd do as much as I can, to redeem myself."
He smiled and kissed my forehead.
"I wonder what Misty would be doing now," I said, sucking in a breath and releasing it. "Asleep or crying and staying awake. Beaten or passed out. Loved or raped—" I closed my eyes, controlling the new wave of tears.
Axel released a heavy sigh.
"I can't imagine her crying, honestly." He said, chuckling briefly while looking at the lamp on the side. "She made me laugh. She teased me about you. Stephen and her was a team, I tell you. They pulled my leg often, talking about you. I seriously cannot imagine her crying, Natalie."
The burden released from my chest at his words. He hummed to himself and looked back at me.
"You think so?"
He nodded with a smile. "I believe so. But she is a human. She would be traumatized. Though, when the time comes, she would be the Misty I know. Pete threw her to the Lycans. She will come back, leading them."
I raised my eyebrows at the cliché words. "Mhmm?" I hummed.
He nodded with a belief.
"If the Lycans are deadlier than we already think they are, she might get frozen. But the Goddess is watching her. She will be fine."
I gulped slowly. "I hope so, Axel. She is a human. In her eyes, she might see herself as an inferior kind."
"She didn't feel it in front of your father and managed to grow on him while being here," said Axel, chuckling softly. "She will spread the magic, don't worry. Human must be a fascinating thing for those Lycans. They must expect a hard time because she would give it to them for sure."
I curled my lip, still worried for her. "She is brave. But they are deadlier. . ."
"The time will tell, Natalie."
I hummed sleepily.
"The full moon is twelve days away from tonight. The only danger is her mate. Because males get crazy by smelling their mates' enchanting scents," he said while lowering his face to my shoulder to leave a kiss. Sliding down the strap gently, he left series of sloppy kisses, making me arch my back. "Just like I was that full moon night. Just like I am, each night since then."
I let out a soft moan, spreading my legs to welcome him despite the barrier of our layers of our night wears.
"It gets hard to control the urge to mate," he said, peppering kisses all over my neck and squeezing my butt from over the shorts. "I can't imagine suffering fighting this urge for a year until we do those rituals. I would loose my mind."
"My brothers will find out if we do it, Axel. They might hurt you," I whispered unsurely.
He pecked my lips and replied, "You will be the one fighting the urge to mate me, after your first shift. Keira is suffering the heat too. Remember?"
True. Ivan seemed exhausted the last time I had seen him. I wondered how tough Keira had been at annoying him. Ivan looked happy, though. It was refreshing to see him smiling to himself randomly.
"My shift is surely many years away. At least an year," I guessed slowly.
Axel hummed. "But you will shift. Misty will never."
My heart jolted slightly.
"It's upon her to make it an advantage or let it become a disadvantage," he said before erupting moans out of me by sucking on my neck.
I closed my eyes when he kissed over my jawline and finally pressed them upon my full lips. A passionate kiss followed as we welcomed each other's tongues.
Harsh breaths escaped us when he pulled away and whispered, "When the circumstances are bad, responding positively to her mate's desire would keep her alive for longer."
"So, soon, a Lycan pup can breathe inside her human body," I whispered sadly. But Axel was making me escape those thoughts by making my heart flutter as he left a sweet bite in the crook of my neck.
"Moon Goddess must have thought something before making that match, love. Things will happen on their own. For a hidden purpose that only she knows." He said before capturing my mouth again with his lips.
Thoughts of Misty were at the back of mind which would come to the front the next day again. For this night and every other, Axel was here to escape me from that guilt and regrets. To pull me from the harsh reality. To bring me relief and pleasure.
Thanking the stars, I breathed into the slumber.
I felt lucky, Moon Goddess.
Please let Misty feel lucky too.
______
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