"And suddenly my dreams of a happy life shattered, the day you turned your back on me, the person who I thought would always stay."
❃ B l a z e ❃
The next day I woke with an immense pain between my legs and a tired body. I could hear shuffling downstairs which meant Aiden was back. I feared facing him after all of the events yesterday but I knew I had to get up.
I checked the time on my phone and it was 6:30. Still an hour and half to school. My lock screen background reminded me of a life that I had long forgotten. Me, Kiara and Aiden were smiling and he had his arms slung around me and Kiara carelessly. We were so much happier back then. It was funny how people changed. How life changed.
I got up and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and freshen up. As I looked at my reflection, all I could see was a girl who had lost herself. I looked so pale and despised myself. I barely had any fat left on my arms, oweing to Aiden's constant torture about how bad I looked, making me lose my appetite. The eye bags I had were very noticeable along with my sunken eyes. I clearly remembered the night of Kiara's suicide and it held many deep secrets. Aiden knew nothing about it and it was better off that he didn't.
I washed my face and took a long shower, once again noticing all the new bruises I had got. The tears didn't disappoint as they rolled down my face, the vivid memories playing like a broken cassette.
It burned so much between my legs and I winced every time I moved too fast. It was horrific and each time I could feel his hands violating every inch of me, taking away what was meant to be mine.
As I slipped out of the shower, I caked myself with make up and put on my clothes, careful not to look at myself in the mirror. I rushed downstairs to make breakfast, ignoring the stunting sensation between my thighs.
Aiden was waiting at his usual spot on the table and gave a glance to me. It seemed like he had a nasty hangover, judging by the look on his face. I poured a glass of water and gave him some medicine to work it off. Never once did I look him in the eyes. Just like dinner, there was not a shred of strength left in me to fight anymore.
His face showed no regret of whatever happened yesterday and it was a stark reminder of how little he cared for me. Maybe nothing. I felt my stomach sink and my mouth dry.
I made an omelette and some toast for him. I sat down while he ate his breakfast. It was better if I didn't say a word. There was no telling when he would burst out again and I did not have the capacity to bear any more. He finished his breakfast and afterwards I drank milk and some Weetbix and we were off.
Surprisingly there were no taunts along the way and I hoped maybe he felt remorse for yesterday. I had thought of going to the police, but for some reason I couldn't summon the strength, neither the willpower. I was a disappointment to every female out there, for not reporting this.
I held onto my seat as I tried to numb the pain spreading through my body, both externally and internally.
But as soon as we pulled to school he said "Don't talk to him again. I don't regret what I did and I'll do it all over again". His words caused tears to well up in my eyes and I slowly nodded, looking down as we got out of the car.
He was a horrendous person. I couldn't recognise the monster in front of me, it was like a demon had snatched his soul and left him bare.My nails dug into my palms as I tried to stop the onslaught of the disgusting memories flashing in front of my mind.
Thankfully, Rafael was nowhere in sight and Aiden possessively had his arms slung around my shoulders. When I reached my locker, I locked eyes with a brown haired girl. She stared at me with an intensity that was familiar but I couldn't quite place my finger on it. I had never seen her before but maybe that was because I never had the permission nor the energy to establish a friendship with anyone. The girl walked over to my locker. What was it with people I didn't know suddenly walking over to have a chat? Judgemental much?
She smiled as soon as she was in front of me and introduced herself. "Hey, I'm Bree", her eyes were a beautiful chocolate brown. "Blaze" I murmured my name. "Well, I never see you around these halls" she stated. She was pretty forward. I wondered how she could be so friendly with me, we had met just a few seconds ago. "Are you new?" I asked her and she shook her head. "I've been here since Sophomore year" I nodded and wondered why I had never seen her around for the past year. Probably because you never notice anyone around you.
"Maybe we'll see each other again?" she asked hopefully and I nodded slowly, not quite sure how to respond.
She raised her arm and out of instinct, I flinched once again. "I'm not gonna hurt you" She said and gave me a perplexed look. Instead she patted me on the back. Weird.
"See you around" she said as she flashed me a thoughtful look and went to her class. Bree was literally the definition of beautiful, I didn't understand why she would want to talk to a freak like me. Self-confidence was something I always struggled with and Aiden wasn't helping my case much.
I kept on wondering why she seemed to look so familiar. I went to Literature once again and dreaded sitting next to Rafael. I couldn't take another beating today. I was completely sore from yesterday. And the many days before that. I didn't even want to think about yesterday. It would be something that would haunt me for the rest of my life.
As I entered Literature, Rafael's seat was empty and I suddenly felt disappointed. You shouldn't be disappointed. You should be happy, my inner voice reasoned.
I winced as I sat down. It still hurt. Every part of my body hurt, inside and out. Just as the bell rang, an angry looking Rafael entered the class. His hair was ruffled and his eyes were narrowed and held a menacing look. Was he angry at me or someone else? Maybe because of yesterday? He wouldn't do something, would he? All those thoughts vanished as soon as he slammed his fist onto his desk while sitting down and I jumped. I instantly thought he was about to hit me and I leaned away from him. You need to stop being so startled. People will notice.
He looked my way and his eyes suddenly softened. Maybe just my imagination? He went to say something but I just looked away. I needed to stay away for his sake and my own. I wanted to at least know him after I saw the sadness lurking in the depths of his eyes. It was something I was all too familiar with, and for some reason I wanted to maybe help. But I wasn't going to string him along, as much as I was intrigued.
I was emotionally drained and I couldn't drag Rafael into my life. The same applies to Bree, even though I barely knew the girl. I had a feeling I would meet her again. She seemed like the person who badgered you until you gave in, and as much as I appreciated her effort, it would be too much to handle.
They deserved better than a train wreck like me. Train-wreck is an understatement. Once again, I was overthinking. I felt myself dozing off, but was awoken by a rough hand. "Miss Davis! Is there anything better you could be doing?" Mrs. Lively boomed. Second Day in a row. Just my luck. At least she could've bothered to use different words.
I felt her tightening her hands around my wrists where there were fresh cuts from yesterday. After Aiden had forced himself on me, I couldn't sleep at night and had to cut to get some shut-eye. As much as I hated doing it, cutting was my escape, my painkiller. I was ashamed by how addicted I was to hurting myself. I tried to hide my agony but winced a little.
She let go of my hand when I muttered a quick apology and looked down. She gave me a condescending look and carried on with her class. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting an A in this class. I felt a tap on my shoulder and saw Rafael giving me a once over and asking "Are you okay?" I was surprised and somewhat angered by his sudden interest in me. He never noticed me before yesterday. Well, neither did you. How could he now? I realized it wasn't his fault for everything going on, but I still grew hostile and retorted "Why do you care?"
Hurt flashed across his eyes at my blunt response but he masked it. However, he didn't give up. His hand shot out and he grabbed my hand in his and whispered "I do. I don't know why, but I care about you. There's just something..." he trailed off, muttering the last words and rubbed soothing circles on my palm.
His voice was soft, and I realized maybe I wasn't supposed to hear it. His touch was soothing. I could feel my body momentarily relax but reality struck me like a lightning bolt. All the thoughts of Aiden's hands on my body jerked me back. This was wrong. Someone might see him doing this and get wrong ideas. Besides, I was dating Aiden. Even though you don't want to.
I yanked my hand away and stared ahead with tears in my eyes. Stop being such a cry baby. I could feel the atmosphere tense as soon as I did it, but I couldn't let anyone in my life. No one cared uptil now and I was better off. I've been a loner my whole life until I found Kiara and after she left, I'm still the same. No one has a right to treat me like a charity case just because they think I'm hurt. I've been that way before and that's who I am now. Just a broken toy nobody wants to play with.
Hey Babes! Well what do you guys think of Bree? Do you think Blaze will let her in?
And what about Rafael suddenly caring. Is it real or is it just a show and he's really the bad company they say he is?
If you guys are not happy with the cast, I welcome all suggestions. I really want know all of your thoughts. Start commenting, don't be shy (put some more). *Cackles*. Okay I'll see myself out.
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Love,
A❤️