The bus ride in the morning was rainy. I stared out the window watching the rain fall and thinking more and more.
I had barely said a sentence to Harry, or anyone. I kept to myself this morning.
I didn't want to feel how I was feeling.
I felt sad and confused, when a few days ago I was the happiest I've ever been.
I was missing home and my friends and family.
I was most of all scared of the future.
"Hi baby." Harry said as he put his hand on mine and rubbed his thumb up on my hand.
He's always been there for me. He's so kind and loving. I don't deserve someone like him.
"Hi." I said quietly looking over to him but avoiding eye contact.
"Are you okay?" He asked me.
I didn't say anything. I leaned my head in his chest and he held me. He made me feel safe.
We sat like that for along time watching the rain fall while he held me. He was being so sweet just trying to be there for me.
"Can you talk to me?" He finally asked breaking the silence. I didn't even know what to say.
"I guess. I don't know. I've just been thinking a lot." I mumbled.
"What's on your mind Ro?" He pushed.
"It's nothing." I turned away not wanting to put everything on my mind on him. He already has so much going on I don't need to add to the stress.
"Rowan, you know you can tell me anything." He put his hand on my chin and moved my face back towards him and kissed my forehead in support.
There was along pause before I responded. "I'm just scared."
"Ro, what are you scared of?" His facial expression showed how concerned he looked but he tried to hide it in his calm tone of voice.
"The future, school, you, us, everything." I snapped, tears fell down my cheeks and I walked away.
There wasn't many place I could go, we were on the bus. I went in the back room and let all my emotions I'd been hiding out through crying.
Harry left me alone for a few minutes before following me. He wiped a tear from my face and pulled me into a hug. I don't deserve him. He deserves better than me.
"I'm sorry." I whipped more tears away.
"You have nothing to be sorry about. Just talk to me baby. I'm here for you."
"I don't know. I just over reacted. I was just in my head. I'm fine, I promise." I lied with a fake smile on my face.
"Rowan." Harry sighed.
"I'm fine I swear. I think I just needed a hug." Harry could tell that wasn't true but I put on a smile and acted like it was.
The rest of the bus ride we played a game with everyone. It helped take my mind off of things.