30 VOTES FOR NEXT CHAPTER!!!
YOU'RE ALL AMAZING AND IM LOVING THE COMMENTS IM RECEIVING!
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I KNOW IT'S A SHORT CHAPTER BUT I THOUGHT IT WAS ENOUGH AS IT WAS SO FULL OF INFO.
x
Chapter 20
Yay or Nay
The moment of my life I never thought would come.
I never imagined.
I could never comprehend such an important, life changing question.
I sit there and stare into the faces of my mates, I sit there and question their motives.
I wonder whether they're doing this because they love me or because its expected of them.
Do they love me?
Do they want to spend their lives with me?
Am I ready for the commitment of a marriage?
A marriage to not one but two men!
Do I love them?
Do I want them forever?
For better or worse?
Can I imagine a life with them?
It without them?
Can I imagine sharing my bed with them every night until the day I die?
In all honesty I can't imagine a life without either of them.
I can't imagine raising my boys without them by my side.
I can't imagine another man holding me apart from these two wonderful souls.
My men.
My mates.
My wolves.
"Yes!" I whisper, and realise tears are now streaming down my cheeks, "yes yes a million times yes!"
I watch in a daze as Dean and Holden go into their jacket pockets and produce two ring boxes.
One blue velvet, one smooth red silk.
With a click, they are both opened.
I gasp in amazement at the stunning engagement rings before me.
Dean holds a white gold band with at least 10 diamonds scattered across it in a gorgeous design.
Holden has triple band; white gold, yellow gold and silver entwined in each other with sapphires, rubies and diamonds scattered in a stunning disarray.
Stunning. Both of them.
I hold out my left hand gingerly as one by one, they place their ring on my finger, kissing it before letting it go.
"Oh wow.." I breathe as I look down at my ring finger, taking in the beauty set before me.
~*~
We are wandering alone the river bank, the moon shining brightly along with a thousand sparkling stars. A beautiful sight.
Two stars shine more brightly than the rest.
I take a seat on the grass with my fiancées, and stare up at the sky.
"Hi momma.. Hi pappee. I miss you so much. I wish you were here so I could tell you my news. I'm engaged! I've got two baby boys on the way.. And I'm happy!
I'm sorry I wasn't happy when I was younger; it wasn't your fault. It was mine. I didn't let myself get close to you.
When Uncle Dunc died in that car crash, I couldn't let myself bond with anybody. You know how much I loved him.. How close we were. It shocked me. I was scared I'd lose you too. And I did! You both died! You left me.
It hurt more than anything I ever went through.. But I forced myself to keep going. I kept my wall up when I should've let myself mourn.
I'm sorry I didn't mourn.
I'm sorry I didn't cry.
Everything I went through I blamed on you when we all knew it was my fault, not yours.
I'm sorry I blamed you.
I held my pain and forced it on you for so long. I broke your hearts time and time again.
Please please forgive me.
I need you to forgive me.
Momma.. I pushed you away when you tried to comfort me. I told you I hated you, that I didn't love you. That was horrid of me!
I'm sorry that you had to lose your brother, and then get rejected by your only child.
I didn't think about how you were feeling. I was selfish and narrow minded. I'm sorry momma.
Pappee.. I was the only disappointment in your whole life. You made that clear. But now, thinking about the way I behaved, I can understand why.
I was rude, selfish, arrogant and opinionated. I broke your heart, and took your baby girl away and turned her into somebody you didn't know.
You watched me sleep around, and take a shot of attention from anybody accept you.
I was horrible pappee. I treated you like a doormat and a punching bag.
I can't believe you put up with my shit, and stood there trying time after time. Begging me to let you in when I would scream at you and cry about how bad you were as parents.
I didn't mean it!
I promise I didn't!
I love you.
I will always love you.
Pappee, your little girl is still here; she's just grown up,
I hope I've turned out the way you hoped.
I'm happy pappee. I'm happy!
For the first time in my life!
Please please forgive me and let me move on.
I need closure.. If I don't have it I'm gonna be stuck in my past forever.
You're always in my thoughts.
I cry over the way I treated you nearly everyday.
I can't keep doing that anymore; I need to protect my children and be honest with my mates.
Most of all, I need to be honest and start respecting and trusting myself.
Can you let me do that?
Please?" I whisper, and look down at my feet, taking a deep cleansing breath, I feel the wind blow through my hair. It feels soothing like someone playing with my hair.
"Thank you." I whisper, "thank you!"
Tears stream down my face as I finally give in to my guilt and my pain towards my parents.
I feel my mates wrap themselves around me, and I close my eyes.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Holden murmurs softly in my ear.
I shrug, "it's my baggage.. I didn't want to push it on your shoulders."
Dean sighs, "typical Lizzie eh?"
I nod, "yup."
We arrive back at the pack house late that night, snuggled up in bed and I fall asleep with a smile on my face.
I am feeling happy.. Safe and secure.. And just perfect.
I am engaged!
30 VOTES FOR NEXT CHAPTER!!!