It was clear to say the couple had taken a break off of work after hearing the news of their child's death, and throughout that time there was a cloud of depression submerging over the married couple. Of course Heechul tried to act happy for his wife's sake, but nothing could anguish the pain they had felt since that day. Life was taken for granted in most cases and now Diana had fallen into the trap of blaming herself for maybe not eating enough, drinking enough. Her body was now a nightmare, as Diana felt at fault. What if she could've prevented on of her babies dying? What if she killed it without realising? What if this, what if that. For once Diana couldn't smile, even when so many of her friends came and visited and comforted her. Of course she was extremely grateful towards them and yet she was unable to give them a flicker of a smile. No, instead she usually ended up excusing herself and going to the toilet to cry. Fortunately Heechul had took control of the media ; explaining everything and how they were even married. HE came clean to the media about losing a child as well despite that being so private, so instead of backlash and hate from fans they mainly received lots of love. The online world can be both damaging, and helpful. Now Diana was using it to help her cope with this loss as it was a major struggle she hadn't ever dreamed of feeling.
Curled up on their bed with a thick blanket around her , Diana wiped away her fresh tears now covering the old stain marks. Very gently she placed a hand on her more apparent bump, "I promise on my life that a single day wont go by where i don't think of your sibling." She whispered, her voice quite hoarse due to the amount of times she had cried already. Swallowing back another load of emotions, forcing herself out of the tsunami about to drown and consume her. "I love you all, and i promise to keep you two together. You'll have such an amazing life, i hope you'll always be happy and find love. I don't mind who you fall in love with, whether they're the same sex as you or not. That doesn't matter. T-the only thing that matters is your health a-and happiness. i-if you are hap-py so am I." Diana felt her lip start to wobble but she tried to hold back her tears. Taking deep breaths as she usual would when a wave of nausea or anxiety was about to hit, she reached out and grabbed her phone. Her thumb print unlocked it and lead her onto the home screen where she clicked onto an app that connects woman from all around the world to talk about similar problems. In an aspect that was therapy online, but not from anyone in the medical field, but from women who had also miscarried in the past few weeks. it was a source of comfort that allowed Diana to no longer feel like she was suffering alone. It sometimes distracted her as she would give advice to others and help them. Of course she didn't use her real name, but instead a fake nickname.
Entering the chat Diana waited to see if anyone else had the online icon before starting to type up what had happened so far in her morning. 'Hey guys, I hope you've all eaten and slept well. I'm not doing so great myself this morning. I guess its all just piling up and I keep thinking that if I knew I was having triplets, then maybe it could've been prevented? I know its wrong because it was all of natural causes, but there's that small voice nagging at me constantly. It wont leave me and blames me for it all. Today I haven't even managed to leave my bed, lets not even mention my amount of crying. Everyone says to look at the positives and all blessings in my life and yes i'm extremely lucky! I've got a loving husband and now two healthy babies in me,yet its like i'm missing a part of me I didn't even know I had. Have any of you ever experienced this? If so i'd be really grateful if I can get some tips on how to stay positive! xx!' Biting her nails, Diana waited in hope that maybe someone would hear out her desperate seek for advice. Even if she was getting the help she needed, Diana couldn't help but feel a bit selfish. Being entranced at staring into the device to try almost speed up the process of someone typing she hadn't acknowledged the presence in her bedroom, until she felt the bed shift slightly with some added weight and some arms circle over her shoulders. Subconsciously Diana lent against her husbands slender figure, dropping her phone so it was faced down against the bed. "Heechul." She barely whispered, her small hand gently gripping a part of his shirt. "How are you?" Sometimes people didn't acknowledge that the dad would also become quite repressed from the loss of their unborn child. Placing his head against her neck he let out a small sigh,"Better than you, i can say that." That was when he remembered Diana complaining about some tension and pain in her shoulders, so he brought his hands up and started to give her a small massage. "Despite not physically losing a baby, i understand how it is. Baby please when you're ready, speak to me, i'll be there to listen." It seemed Heechul had became a lot softer and less jokey around Diana as he felt it'd be a lot easier for her to cope that way.
After a few minutes of Heechul helping relax his wife's body, a sudden ding alerted them both, it was Diana's group all now giving her advice and encouraging messages. Without a second of hesitation she opened up the app and started to read through them giving a hum of acknowledgement. There was actually quite a lot of messages but one that stood out the most was 'Closure comes gradually.' Of course they were both aware it'd be a gradual, painful healing process that could go really well someday and make them start from the beginning another day. However, having a stranger that had went through the same process tell you that it almost changed your views on the meaning. "Honey, i think we should leave the house today,are you ready for that?" It took a good minute of silence until Diana gave a small nod."If i don't do it now, I don't think I would ever go out." Both Heechul and Diana gave a slight laugh as she turned around now plonked onto his lap."I'm not too heavy, right?" Her arms snaked around his neck as her eyes met his. There it was. The first time in a month, Diana smiled. Without hesitation Heechul let out a small laugh,"That isn't a trick question, right? I'm kidding you'll never be too heavy for me, i'm really strong!" With that note the married and still emotionally damaged couple shared a cherished kiss. This was a big step for them. Progress at last.
Diana felt like quite a new person as she managed to stand up and head towards the bathroom to get ready. Brushing her teeth first Diana started into a mirror with a small smile, getting ready for a shower. Slipping off her nightie along with her underwear, she turned the shower so it was a hot temperature, wanting to feel the warmth to comfort her. Stepping into the shower she grabbed her apple shampoo and conditioner, making sure her hair was lathered in it before allowing the soap suds to wash out. However, her hair was so long it ran over her breasts and gently rested above her bump. Honestly she looked adorable with her pregnancy bump,and the days where she felt ugly, Heechul made it his mission to convince her otherwise. Glancing to the side Diana reached out and grabbed her chocolate scented body wash, making sure to get all crevices of her body wanting to look and smell as fresh as a daisy. Overall she was taking this as an opportunity to relax and reflect on some decisions in her life, and now she was so glad she was with Heechul since pretty much day one. It had always been him she'd turn to, and it always will be. After rinsing all the filth off of her body it felt as though she had washed away a fair amount of her remorse as well. "I should probably meet up with some friends to keep me occupied in a few days then." Turning the handle she turned off the flow of the shower and started to exit,standing on a towel so she wouldn't slip as she wrapped one around her body and into her hair. Very carefully she headed back into her bedroom, opening up her wardrobe before realising Heechul had gotten an outfit out for her already on the bed. "Thank youuu" She shouted down the stairs before looking at the clothes. A bra, a pair of pants (underwear) and a floral dress with some trainer socks. "Wah, did he get me a new dress?" Red splattered across her cheeks, as the thought of his actions made her blush. Grabbing her phone she started to play some music to keep her motivated, humming slightly as she started to dry her body. Slipping on her underwear, she stared at the dress admiring its beauty be ore placing it in. Fortunately it fitted perfectly, and it even showed off the baby bump in a flattering manner without making Diana have a chance to feel negative. It started to seem as though Heechul was planning this all along.
By the time Diana had managed to dry her hair, curl it and put on a bit of lip gloss, Heechul had made them some pancakes for breakfast with a lot of fruit and chocolate sauce. Of course he was already dressed as well, prepared to make this an amazing day for Diana. In advance he had texted and informed all of their friends that they'd be leaving the house today and wanted to see them to try keep Diana spirits high. He felt as much social interaction as possible would be the way to do this, as long as she didn't have a moment in time to dwell then she should hopefully stay positive all day. Just the fact she was leaving the house was a lot of progress as well. Watching as his wife started to walk down the stairs, he kept an eye on her just in case she could slip he'd be able to catch her in time. Thankfully she didn't stumble of trip, and Heechul couldn't help but stare at her in amazement. "You look so heavenly, also well done on not slipping over you klutz." He stuck out his tongue as Diana came over and gave his chest a gentle slap."Meanie!" With a laugh they shared a brisk kiss before sitting down at the table and going to eat their amazing breakfast. " Heechul, i love you." Diana's eyes stared into Heechul's allowing him to know just how sincerely she meant it. Thanks to them sitting next to each other, he gave her another sincere kiss. "And i love you. Hey, you should text your mum later, see if she can come round Korea anytime soon. Maybe some of your siblings could come instead?" Now that was something Diana would definitely be discussing with her family on their next call. " I should've thought of that sooner. I'm such a dummy." Diana pouted ever so slightly before digging into her breakfast. The statement that pregnant woman had a certain glow to their skin was so accurate, at least for Diana. It was clear Diana and the babies were ravenous as she finished her pancakes within minutes and then moved onto her fruit. It was amusing in Heechuls eyes as Diana had always been quite a big lover of food and ate a lot, but she always took her time. Since becoming pregnant that had changed, she'd finish meals quicker than Heechul would. It was normal for once as the couple bantered about as usual, teasing one another and making jokes. It had started to feel like home again.
Pretty much how the rest of their day went was quite amazing. They went for a walk to a local park talking about how that was going to be a place they took their children as even they had sometimes went on dates to that park. After the walk they went for a drive around town reminiscing on the past and the many adventures they had around there. "Look, that's where you proposed." It was a field surrounding by the most beautiful of plants and trees with such a lovely atmosphere especially when the sun is setting. That was a day Diana would never forget, it was so magical and euphoric. By the time they had done all of this Diana was hungry once again so they stopped into a shop and got a snack for her, along with some bubble tea. Next step was gathering with their friends, it made Diana just so jubilant that for once her heart didn't feel empty, but instead it felt full. Full of love. She couldn't wait for the nearing future and to make it even more exciting she had been booked in to find out the babies sexes in the next week. Once again she was reminded of her purpose in life, and it couldn't have felt better than to be surrounded by people who loved her and supported her.
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Hey guys! Sorry i really haven't been active. I had no motivation recently. In December and part of January i was in and out of hospital, i hope you're all healthy and safe! Also please feel free to comment any baby names you'd like, because next week will be the reveal for the babies genders! Also i'm writing this on a laptop, so sorry for any mistakes!