JB POV:
Leaving Mark was one of the hardest things to do but I had no choice, he was moving on and I was only holding him back. He was there for me when I refused to eat, when all I could do was wake up at midnight and cry my eyes out. He was my shoulder, he was my rock but now its my turn to be there for him by leaving. When Maze died I wasn't myself anymore, I couldn't even hold a gun and I obsessed over finding her body and because of that the band broke up. Jinyoung moved back to the states, Chase and Trent got arrested, Taehyung I don't know where that prick is. Bambam and Yugyeom have moved in with Namjoon and now I'm going to go and join them. I don't really know how they've been living I didn't really check up on them I just wanted to be alone.
"So how have you been man?" Namjoon asks as he brings me a cup of tea. He puts the cup down and sits in front of me as I look around the room. I would've never imagined their living room to look like this. I expected videos games and beer cans and bottles and underwear. Instead they have a fricking chandelier and black leather sofas the kind that kick up, they have a 70inch flat screen TV and the house is clean like clean clean.
"Alive but dead inside" I answer as I take a sip of the tea. I pause and take another sip trying to figure out what kind of tea this is because this ain't no pg tips. This is the kind of tea those old posh white people would drink, why in the world does Namjoon know how to make it?
"...ok" he says as he clears his throat avoiding all eye contact with me. I guess I was wrong about these guys, I really thought they'd still be killing and taking drugs but it seems like they have their life together. I know I should be happy for them but it just gets me thinking, how did they manage to move on?
"Where's Bambam and Yugyeom?" I ask him curious to why they are not at home. I got here in the afternoon right after Joon finished work and now it's the evening so it's weird that they not in the house. Especially Yugyeom who would never leave his room not even for gang met ups.
"At work, Bambam owns a restaurant and Yugyeom owns a dance studio" he tells me catching me off guard making me choke in my tea. I look at him to see whether he is being serious or not and he looks dead serious. Yugyoem can dance? And bambam can cook? Are they sure, are we talking about the same people or.
"Wow I didn't know that Bambam could cook and that Yugyeom could dance" I respond as I wipe the spilled tea off my jeans. Joon looks at me and laughs as he passes me a napkin making me thank him. Since when do these boys even know what a napkin even is. They used to use toilet paper for everything and now they have napkins.
"Yeah man they really did something good with that blood money" he says with a proud look on his face making me nod my head in agreement. They really did do something good, I really thought that they would continue selling drugs and killing people for money but I guess I was wrong. I never expected them to turn their life around this much especially since they didn't even finish school.
"How about you man? What have you been up to?" I ask him curious to what he's been up to. If I could put my money on anyone anyone still being a drug dealer it'll have to be Namjoon. He's just always loved the thrill, the danger, the excitement he could never settle for a simple job he just couldn't it just was never for him.
"Ya know I kinda realised that I was good at that teaching shit so I'm an english teacher by day-"
"Wow man that's good didn't expect that from you man but I'm impressed" I cut him off and say surprised that he too actually turned his life around. He hated it when I forced him to be an english teacher to watch over Maze, he couldn't stand the annoying kids and marking their work. He always said they were trash even though English is supposed to be their first language.
"And I'm a hired assassin by night" he adds as he casually takes a sip of his tea catching me off guard. I pause for a moment and see if hes joking or not and he's not I mean that sounds more like him. I dont know whether I should be happy or sad.
"Oh erm I guess that's cool too" I smile at him making him laugh and put his cup down. I mean I'm more surprised that he's an English teacher than him being a paid assassin. Red was always his favourite colour.
"You know me man I love a bit of blood-"
"I thought I told your ass to eat out your girl when shes on her period" I hear a familiar voice but deeper than it was before forcing me to turn around and lock eyes with Yugyeom. Well I think he's Yugyeom because he looks different, his hair is chestnut brown and he has a few piercings here there. He used to be so afraid of piercings and now look at him.
"Yugyeom my man you look good" I say as I get up and greet him and pull him into a hug. He looks good, wearing black jeans and a white t shirt with a few holes in them and with a leather jacket around his shoulders. He looks clean and rich before he just looked like a teenager who refused to leave the house but now he's looking like a supermodel. If I saw him in the streets I wouldn't recognise him.
"I would say the same to you man but you look homeless" he jokes as he looks me up and down making me punch his shoulder. He's right though I do look homeless well what I mean is all I wear is old trackies and I haven't gone shopping in years. "Heard you got kicked out by Caitlyn" he adds as he folds his arms across his chest and looks down at me.
"Nah nah man I had to leave Mark you know so he can have a better life" I inform him and he just nods his head in agreement. No way am I going to let them think that I let bitch like Caitlyn kick me out. I left on my own account.
"How about you man? How about your better life?" Namjoon speaks up and says forcing me to turn and face him. I pause and think feeling embarrassed to even be in the same room as them. Look at them, they've made a name for themselves, they turned something bad into something good and I wasnt able to do that. Will I ever be able to do that?
"I dont know man I tried but everytime I try to move on I just see her face" I let them know as I sigh and sit back down, putting my head into my hands. Even right now just thinking about her it gives me a headache, it makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry. It makes me feel bad for even thinking about moving on, how can I move on when I ruined her life?
"That sounds like some psychological issue man" Yugyeom says making me dart my head up to face him. He rubs the back of his neck and avoids eye contact with me. What does he mean by that? Am I lost cause?
"Have you seen a psychiatrist?" Joon asks me as he places his hand on my shoulder. I look at his hand on my shoulder then I look up at him surprised, is Joon really comforting me right now? Like Namjoon who kills for a living and doesn't give two fucks about life namjoon is comforting me.
"The fuck I'm not a pussyhole" I push his hand away from my shoulder and glare at them both. I dont need help because theres nothing wrong with me. Psychiatrist don't help they just look at you like your crazy just like how they are looking at me right now.
"You cant move on without seeing a psychiatrist we all did." Yugyeom explains to me but I just stare at him in shock not knowing whether they are just joking with me. What kind of thugs are they? Running to a stranger and telling them their problems. Nope not for me sir.
"Yeah Dr. Phelps at the clinic in town he helped us out a couple of years ago you know when the clinic was small" Namjoon informs me catching me off guard. So you mean to tell me that he went to a psychiatrist? He told him all his problems when he couldn't even tell us his favourite number?
"Yeah man now its blown up he's hired loads of people, I haven't been there in years" Yugyeom adds with a big smile on his face making me scoff I mean they cant be serious can they? Great for the Dr. His clinic blew up but what does that have to do with me?
"We can hook you up with an appointment" Joon suggests and I just sit there frozen. I'm not about to be someones experiment, I refuse to open up and cry in front of a stranger because that is what I'll do. I'll cry.
"I dont know man, I'm not one for opening up" I try and avoid going but they just both look at me making me feel so small.
"Its for your own good, trust"
"...ok I'll go"
Maze POV:
Jimin hasn't called me back surprise surprise not. It makes me worry even more especially since we had that falling out, normally I wouldn't worry and I'd just wait for him to come and see me but now I dont even know if he will come and see me. Why did I have to force him to think about getting married? I should've just dropped the subject now look. I just want him to be happy that's all because deep down underneath all that crazy he's a nice person with a big heart. He just wasn't brought up with love that's all. That's what turned him into the cold hearted person that he is well that he was.
"How was your meeting with Freddie?" Sarah asks me as she walks into my office making me sigh. As if I wasn't stressed already thinking about him she has to come and bring it up.
"Yeah it could've been better, I guess I pushed him too far and he stormed out" I tell her as I shrug my shoulders and sigh. I stare at my phone to see if he has at least messaged me but nothing, the whole weekend he has been very silent.
"Damn I've never had a client storm out" she comments as she leans on my desk and looks down at me. I ignore her and take out my lunch as I begin to eat my chocolate. When I'm stressed out I comfort eat and then Jimin will complain that I've gained too much weight. It's his fault I'm eating. "Don't stress too much, sometimes I wonder why you care so much about him" she adds as she begins to rub my shoulder making me take an even bigger bite of my chocolate.
"He reminds of someone I used to know" I answer as I look at my wall not really wanting her to see the tears in my eyes building up. I hate the fact that I still think about JB, I can still see his smile, I can still smell his scent, taste the cigarettes in his mouth after we kissed. Everything about him was just so perfect and I let that all go, I had no choice, I couldn't run forever.
"So you're trying to save him?" She questions me bringing me back to reality. She has her arms folded across her chest she does that when shes trying to sus out a patient but I'm not a patient. I dont need a psychiatrist especially one that is my friend who's even more psycho than I am.
"I guess but I'm not doing a great job" I sigh as I take a bite of my sandwich. Damn it I knew I should've made two sandwiches today but no I wanted to be the healthy one and only made one. Maybe I'll order McDonalds later on. I definitely need to get a gym membership, the things Jimin puts me through and he dont even care.
"Hey ladies you busy?" Lyon waltz into my office looking like he needs something. He definitely needs something but I just want to eat my lunch in peace, I dont even want sarah to be in here so why he gotta come in here too and spoil my day damn it.
"I'm going for my lunch break" I tell him as I wave my sandwich in his face making him give me that fake I'm going to pretend I'm happy but I'm actually sad smile.
"I have a client coming in 5 minutes, why?" Sarah asks him as she stands up straight and folds her arms trying to intimidate him even though he is the boss and the head of the clinic hes still scared of Sarah even though he could fire her if he wanted to.
"Well I'm supposed to be seeing this new client but I booked him the same time as Ms Dedly so can you take him just for today?" He looks at me and asks making me sigh. I just want to eat my sandwich in peace that's all now I have to see a client when I'm already stressing about another client.
"Why can't you cancel?" I ask him with a pout hoping that he can just postpone the meeting or something because I honestly cannot be asked right now.
"He's friends with the boys who helped me build up this place, I owe them this" he pleads with his eyebrows furrowed making me sigh. Damn it why has it always gotta be me. Anyways its not that deep I'm only going to see him today after that he's Lyon's problem not mine.
"You owe me a lunch" I tell him and a big smile crawls up his face.
"Thank you Nina" he beams before leaving my office probably going to fetch the client. I begin to clear up my desk, packing away my sandwich.
"He better be cute" sarah comments making me roll my eyes.
"Ok erm Nina Brown I'd like to introduce you to Jaebeom, JB for short" Lyon walks into my office with the client and my heart drops the moment I see who it is. It cant be, its impossible theres no way theres no way theres absolutely no way...
Is there?
"Maze?"