***
[ Gotham's Lovebirds ]
Selina: hey where are our honeymoon lovebirds? Haven't heard from them in a while.
Richard: the two ditched us first opportunity they got and are probably having the best time chilling out.
Jason: with a swarm of paparazzi following us, no thanks.
Steph: oh hello Jason, so good to see you're still alive.
Jason: I would normally not believe that but well... Hi Stephanie!
Helena: sorry guys we couldn't keep up with all the chats so there had been a bit of a communication gap.
Steph: a bit????!??
Helena: okay yeah, a lot.
Irina: hello honeymoon lovebirds, hope you're having a great time.
Jason: hello Ren, such a pleasure to hear from you again.
Helena: guess what, Irina... I got you a surprise...
Irina: really? I was not expecting this but thank you in advance.
Steph: do you honestly think you're being fair here, Helena?
Helena: oh yes of course. I couldn't possibly forget you and Cass.
Cassie: wow... Sounds good.
Helena: come on guys, I'm bringing little souvenirs for each one of you.
Barbara: aw that's so sweet.
Jon: for me too?
Helena: of course.
Jon: that's so nice of you. I'm grateful 😊
Damian: anyone else...?
Helena: um... You're on the to be considered list along with your Dad.
Damian: hey...
Jason: don't worry gremlin, we got one for you.
Helena: oh lord no...
Richard: why do I get the feeling this is going to end up in a war at home?
Tim: because it most probably will.
Tim: stock up on the rations everyone and retreat to your safe houses the day Jason gives Damian his little souvenir 😉
***
Barbara: when are you two coming back?
Jason: tomorrow.
Richard: excuse you...?
Richard: and you're telling us now?!??
Jason: relax, Dickybird, you're panicking as if you've got to pack the suitcases.
Helena: speak for yourself, Jason.
Helena: I did not pack any of your bags so get your ass down here and get to work.
Jason: ...
Tim: ah the assumed benefits of a married life...
Steph: 😆
Cassie: 😂
Jason: just wait till you tie the knot, Babybird.
Selina: did I miss something? Is anyone else getting married?
Barbara: oh no, not yet, Selina.
***
Selina: the weather's perfect for a beach trip. And since Jay and Helena are coming too, we could arrange a picnic this month.
Richard: sounds lovely.
Barbara: sure, we'll see what we can do about it.
***
Jason: guys, we've been at the airport for fifteen fucking minutes, where the hell are you?
Tim: the f bomb, Jaybird...
Jason: what?
Jason: oh...
Jason: fuck it.
Jason: and if I don't see anyone here to pick us up, I'll book a cab and don't you dare lock the doors at us because I will still find a way to sneak inside and avenge you for this.
Barbara: calm down, Jay. Me and Richard are stuck in traffic.
Helena: is it really traffic or...
Steph: no worries, we're in the car behind them. There really is a huge traffic jam.
Jason: I'm letting you both off just this once.
Barbara: oh and don't forget you made me and Richard wait for an hour after we came back from our honeymoon trip.
Jason: so is this like payback and most importantly, are you threatening me?
Barbara: no. I'm politely ask you to shut up and wait.
Cassie: woah...
Cassie: Jay, I think you might be in hot water for the next whole month after this.
Jason: I think not.
Jason: right, Barbara?
Jason: Barbara?
Steph: in other words, prepare for your funeral bro.
***
Tim: now that's a whole new level of emotional.
Tim: and I used to think that was just the case with Steph and Ren, but turns out Steph really has a knack for emotional hugs.
Helena: oh come on... She's my best friend and of course we missed each other.
Jason: is this what you people call jealousy? This slight nagging at my heart warning me that Helena likes Steph more than me?
Cassie: oh wow...
Richard: nope. Get yourself together, Jay. Such feelings are not healthy for a good family environment.
Jason: oh, right.
***
Barbara: okay guys, so me and Selina discussed the picnic idea and as we have spring cleaning next month, it would be best if we arrange our picnic as soon as we can.
Helena: is it March already? Darn spring cleaning...
Jon: it's late February so yeah March is round the corner.
Selina: yeah so how about this weekend?
Jon: great, me and Connor were planning to come over already.
Tim: oh yes, this weekend it is then.
Cassie: okay by me and Steph.
Steph: Irina, what about you?
Irina: I'll manage.
Helena: but you're joining, right?
Irina: yup.
Richard: now that all's settled, I can't wait for the big day.
Jason: when will you ever grow up, Dickybird?
Richard: in all probability, I would never.
Barbara: truer words haven't been spoken.
***
Cassie: presenting you our current rooftop couple.
Jon: Tim and Irina?
Steph: yup.
Jason: see Cass, you've gotten much better at photography.
Cassie: appreciate the compliment, dude.
Tim: yeah... I can sense a little conspiracy going on here...?
Jason: what are you talking about?
Richard: oh I see.
Tim: don't tell me you've appointed Cass as your part-time spy.
Jason: of course not.
Tim: Cassandra...
Irina: oh come on, Tim, there's no conspiracy. Right, Cassie?
Cassie: absolutely. For starters if Jay was to appoint me as a spy, he would have to pay me as well because I ain't doing nothing for free.
Steph: that's my girl.
Cassie: and as we all know, Jay can't afford that. He's bankrupt.
Helena: ooooohhhh burn.
Jason: hey... Not you too, Helena.
Jason: as for you Cassandra Smartass Cain, doesn't me being nice to you requires the same from you?
Cassie: look who's talking.
Richard: alright kiddos, enough. I hate being the peacemaker and I can't afford to let you two start a fight again. So if this escalates in any way, I'll ban you from the picnic.
Steph: aw doesn't Dick look adorable when he's trying to act so mature and father like?
Barbara: oh yes he does 😂
Richard: you know what...
Richard: I'm out.
Richard: enjoy the chaos.
Jason: Awww, all of you annoyed my Dickybird. That's so insensitive...!
Tim: yeah and there you go babying him even more...
Jon: 😂
Irina: but he hasn't taken it to heart, right?
Steph: its alright though, he'll be fine in a few minutes. By now, this is a very common practice in the Wayne household.
Steph: and as in the words of the Wise Sir Alfred...
Steph: such little banters are what makes a family enjoyable.
Damian: and as in the words of my own rational self...
Damian: such little banters often result in hazardous consequences causing damage to both personal and state property. So for the love if whatever you consider holy, try not to end up in a disaster for this week at least.
Damian: and also stop blaming every stupid thing you do on the fact that you happen to be a Wayne.
Jason: ...
Steph: I agree.
Tim: me too but to a partial extent.
Damian: oh right, I forgot... You lot happen to be a bunch of misfits with only one trait in common. All of you are absolutely crazy.
Cassie: at least being crazy is better than being emotionally constipated.
Jason: woah...
Richard: holy shit, Cassie, that was cold.
Tim: Dami, do you need an ice pack for your burn?
Damian: now shut up, Drake, before I dish out revenge colder than the ice packs you just mentioned.
Jason: I think I might have to agree with Steph on this. Her girlfriend should be renamed as Sassandra.
Steph: let's make a petition for that.
***