*Anne's Prov*
I'm sweating, unable to move out of the toilet cabin I'm in. If I just hadn't read this fucking article, if I just hadn't done it and ignored the rumors and overcoming curiosity. When did Hogwarts become this place? To allow a professor to go this drastic for punishments? I bite my bottom lip, fighting the urge to scream and tear this whole place apart.
I stare at my arms, they aren't covered in cuts, yet it felt so realistic. It felt so real. Hell it even smelled like blood. It smelled exactly like it did back then. My fingers run slowly and very carefully over my wrist. The most terrifying moment in my life when the blood came out uncontrollably and I couldn't stop it and blacked out.
I thought I would die. Funny how that was my biggest wish and then turned into my biggest fear. I want this emptiness to go away. Pressing my hands on my face I silently let go tears. She managed it. She has done it. She broke me. I thought I was over this, this black hole I got myself unknowingly into. Turns out it never really left me as I hoped it would. It will always be by my side, just how am I supposed to deal with it? How can I get myself to be friends with it?
Tears dripping onto my pullover, wetting it, leaving a cold sensation against my skin. I dealt with this before, so I can certainly now, right? What is different this time? A lot, and by a lot I mean that I have grown. I overcame this once and I certainly will now too. This isn't me anymore, I need to remind myself that I'm not that sad little girl any longer. I'm strong. I'm determined. I'm valid. I'm enough.
Taking my hands from my face, I pull my sleeve down and wipe my nose with it. Despite it being a part of me, it doesn't have to define me. Staring closely at my wrists one more time, I don't see any cuts or bruises. It was just an illusion, I never went back there. I swore I'm never going back there ever again and I didn't. This was Umbridge, not you Anne.
You held your word. It calms me, knowing that I don't feel the urge and didn't do it. I'm stronger than before. I'm here. I constantly repeat those words. I need to. I know it seems crazy, but what I just gone through made matters worse. I can't even express how much damage that caused. It bloody hell scares me. All of this.
That I fight this battle again. A battle I never wanted to fight in first place. If Umbridge never casted this curse on me, I would be happy wouldn't I? I wouldn't need to go through all of this again. I wouldn't need to start worrying if this will become something worse or not. I'm scared it will turn out as the last time.
I don't want to die.
However, a small voice in my head reminds me that regardless of her curse, I would have come back to this the sooner or later. You can't run away from your problems and yet I try it every damn time. I take deep breaths. I will survive this. I can stop this before it gets out of hand. I know the signs now and how to handle it. Even if it's just little hope that lights up inside of me, it's enough for me to be convinced. Because hope was something I didn't have the last time.
(A/N: I hope everyone of you are still doing okay after this paragraph, if not you can always come and write to me)
---
The next day when I woke up I had a peaceful night, thanks to the potion Pomfrey made me. I take a deep breath and change out of my pullover into the school uniform. The others wake up too one after the other. I wait for them until they are finished and walk with them to the Great Hall.
"Maybe Potter didn't lie," Christine says quietly: "I mean his story is very-"
She's searching for the right words.
"Scary you mean?," Leyla suggests, nodding her head.
"He is back," I say making them turn to me curious: "Otherwise Umbridge wouldn't do everything in her hands to cover that fact."
They are silent, getting the point, then looking scared. They should. This isn't the time to find it comforting. We settle down for breakfast. The girls don't say a word and it looks like that no one on the Slytherin table is saying anything. To be fair, the article showed a lot of those families as dark ones. Their parents as Death Eaters.
The problem? They can't go to Umbridge, because otherwise that would have meant they read the article which was forbidden. Harry Potter thinks he did the right thing? Not when he went along and destroyed so many lives at once.
"I need to tell you something guys," Logan suddenly says.
She moves closer and so do we, then she proceeds to tell quietly that she never knew about the fact that her brother was a Death Eater. Harry told the name the news paper and she didn't know how to feel about it at first, though she can't ignore it any more.
"I'm scared I'll get branded too. I'm not like them," she defends feeling helpless.
"You won't Logan," Christine pats her shoulder: "You haven't seen your brother in so long, he made his own decision."
"And what if he did not?"
We fell silent again. We all know it's very likely he didn't have a choice. My eyes settle on Montague, he's the most likely one to be next in our rows.
---
It has been some days since what happened in detention and I focused so much on school that my grades went up and I managed to distract myself. I'm not feeling fine, but I do feel okay. Which is a start and every step counts.
I sit in Ancient Runes writing down some phrases when I feel something heat inside my robe pocket. I narrow my eyebrows and reach into it. It's the Galleon George gave me. Will she disappear in any given moment or what is happening? I watch the Galleon closely, she isn't shining differently or anything else, she just changes her numbers? I never saw a Galleon do that. When the Professor clears their throat I return my attention towards them, with an apologetic look on my face.
---
*George's Prov*
"It was terrifying," Angelina tells us in our common room: "She screamed at her like she went mad."
I write some phrases down.
Fred laughs: "Wonder what she did."
Ginny sits down beside me on the couch and looks what I'm doing. I show her, she just nods and listens to the conversation Fred and Angelina have.
"Umbridge face turned pale and then pink, then red, she looked like a color palate gone wrong," Angelina chuckles.
"I wish I was there to see how Dumbledore crossed her plans," Fred says.
"Do you mean the Trelawney situation today?," Ginny asks.
Both nod.
"I don't really like Trelawney, but seeing her today made me actually want to hug her. Umbridge is getting way too far, good thing Dumbledore is still in Hogwarts. I don't care what all the others say," Ginny admits.
"Umbridge was so in rage, Katie told me that she even lost her 'smile' for a moment," Angelina says.
"chrm chrm," we all look up, just to realize it was Ginny.
"Can you stop that?," I laugh.
"Sorry, but why doesn't the ministry see what prick she literally is?"
"There's the thing," Fred says: "When you die, you don't feel the pain, the others around you feel it and in the exact same way works being dumb."
We start to laugh.
"I think I'll go to bed," I yawn and stand up, Fred stands up too.
"Don't stay up too long Ginny," I ruffle through her hair and she rolls her eyes in response.
Sibling love, yes. In our dormitory we lie down in silence.
Lee comes in following shortly after: "We need to tell Harry that the D.A meeting needs to be rescheduled. I heard that the inquisitor squad will be patrolling around the corridor that time tomorrow," he says opening up his textbooks.
"There's a meeting tomorrow?," I ask confused.
The Galleon didn't even change, is mine broken?
"Didn't you look at your Galleon again you fool?," Fred teases, sitting up against the headboard.
"I-," I stand up quickly looking through my robes.
"Don't tell me you lost it?," Fred asks, Lee looking up worried too.
"Looks like I did," I say after I looked at every Galleon in my bags.
"George! You had one job," Fred exclaims: "Who did you give money since the last meeting?"
"You and- oh," I realize that I gave Anne a Galleon for her thoughts.
"And?," Lee pressed.
"It could be that I gave Anne a Galleon," I admitted.
"You what? Why?," Fred is angry now: "Did she pressure into given her some money?"
"No Fred nothing like that, I gave it to her. Doesn't matter why, I need to talk to her," I stand up from the floor.
"Where are you going? You don't think you'll find her outside that easily? Even if she has rounds, it's very unlikely to find her," Fred reminds me:" Whatever you did there need to wait until tomorrow. Just pray my dear brother, that she doesn't screw anything."
With that he lies back down and turns his back at me. The door opens and other Gryffindors come in. Lee shakes his head, it just had to be me who lost his bloody coin.
---
„Go talk to her," Fred says when we are sitting at the Gryffindor table for breakfast.
Anne just made her way inside and sits down.
"Godric, she just came into the room, it's not like I saw her already," I mutter, trying to hide the fact that I actually realized that she came into the room.
"Pardon, it's just with your little stunt you put there, you risk a lot. Even for us it is a lot we risk. We usually just tip-toe a bit over the line, not doing something intirely stupid."
"I didn't do it on purpose mate," I say taking a sip from my tea.
"Would you now finally get the bloody coin back?," Fred hisses.
"What's going on between you two, I never saw you arguing before," Angelina laughs, looking over at us.
"Nothing major," we both say and I stand up.
I feel like everyone on the Gryffindor table follows my movements over to the Slytherin table, good Godric I don't want to approach her here. I never approached her in front of so many fellow students.
When I stop in front of her, the chatter around her fell silent and all are looking at me, she as well.
"Can I talk to you for a moment?," I ask.
Two girls give each other a look and Cole turns from his friends towards Anne suspiciously. She nods.
"Alone?" She hesitates for a moment but stands up nevertheless.
We walk out of the Great Hall, her friend's eyes still fixed on us, when we are out of sight, I hide with her behind one of the many statues that stand in the hall outside.
"So what's the reason for your show you just put on there?," she crosses her arms in front of her chest.
"Do you still have the Galleon I gave you?"
"Why?"
"Do you have it or not?"
"I'll answer if you tell me why."
I groan.
"I can't tell you, I'm sorry."
She looks at me sternly but gives in:" Yes I do have it, is this some new prank you had that did go wrong?," she looks at me.
"No, actually this coin shouldn't even have ended up with you. I need it back."
"I don't have it with me right now."
"Can you go and-"
"No."
"No?," my face drops.
"I want to eat my breakfast, I'll give it to you somewhere through the day when I find the time for it," she rolls her eyes at my reaction: "You'll get it early enough. Even though I bet that should have been something that burns a hole in my pockets or something and just went wrong."
I took my time to understand what she meant.
"No really, I didn't intend to prank you with it. I just really can't tell you why it does what it does," I lower my voice coming closer to her, scared someone might hear us.
*Anne's Prov*
My heart starts to beat faster when he leans down to my ear: "But I could tell you if you promise me something."
I look at his face when his head moves back a little, his eyes shining with something mischievous. I bit my bottom lip again nervously, what could he want from me?
He moves closer and I can feel his breath against my skin. I'm yet to figure out if I should hex him or not.
"It's dangerous to just tell you here. Meet me tonight at the Astronomy Tower when all of the students are at dinner and I explain it, promise, just bring the Galleon with you, it's very important."
I'm still debating if I should come or not, when I feel his thumb on my lip, pulling it out from under the grip of my teeth. I stare at him a bit shocked, so does he, quickly explaining that I'll bite my lip raw if I continued.
Then he excused himself and left.
Leaving me behind with a hammering heart in my chest and a warm feeling.