BARELY A DAY HAD PASSED SINCE YAMORI FOUND A NEW TOY TO PLAY WITH. And Aya was hopelessly listening to the screams that emitted from his tower – his playroom. Yakumo Oomori, known as Yamori, as well as 13th Ward's Jason due to his brutality. Of all the members of Aogiri Tree, he was her least favorite one. He was arrogant, sadistic and violent. But he was not always like that – at least that's what Aya heard. His time in Cochlea – Ghoul Prison – changed him for the worst. He enjoyed pain and he loved to see his victims bleed. Every few days, another victim would experience his brutal methods of torture. None walked out of his playroom; at least not intact.
"Tatara wants to speak with you."
Aya gripped the rails of the fence as she stood on top of the building – observing the surroundings of Aogiri's Hideout. It was quiet. Too quiet for Aya's taste as tormenting screams managed to reach her ears. Those screams were nagging her in the most irritating way. She was imagining all kinds of sadistic tortures involving instruments that could tear a body apart with brutal force. And she hated her mind because of it. It had a wild imagination that made her question her own sanity.
"Didn't you hear me, idiot?! Tatara—"
"I heard you, idiot!" She harshly interrupted Ayato before he could repeat himself. "You don't have to tell me twice." She glared at him with a look that could kill.
But that glare was short. She returned her attention back onto the dark distance which was enlighten with street lights. She could see, but she knew that Ghoul Investigators were already brewing up a plan to get to Aogiri Tree with all people and weaponry they have. Just like Aogiri, they were planning. And Aya was not sure what to expect – she was certain they will come with enough resources to destroy them.
While in her thoughts, Aya did not forget about Ayato who was still in her presence. "What's with you?" He questioned as he leaned with his back against the railing, tucking his hands into the pockets of his pants. "Ever since we got that one-eyed bastard here you've been acting differently."
Ayato Kirishima was not the friendliest of Aogiri Tree. He was brash, arrogant and hot-blooded. For the simplest mistake, he would respond with violence. And Ayato expected for Aya to fear him – but she would mock his actions and twist him around her little finger without fear. It was probable the reason why the two of them saw each other as friends – and not just partners. Ayato did not join Aogiri Tree to make friends, but he found one in Aya – however, of course he was too proud to admit she meant to him more than anyone else in Aogiri Tree. Usually he wouldn't care whatever anyone was acting different, but that was not the case with Aya.
"I know him." Ayato's eyebrows rose in wonder. "Before the doves killed my mother, we used to be friends."
"That was... 8 years ago, right?"
For someone who seemed always uninterested when it came to lives of others, Aya was surprised he remembered that little detail she had once mentioned to him. With brief content in her eyes, Aya nodded to him, confirming it.
"Life has funny ways of placing people into your life." Aya commented quietly.
"It will be even more funnier when Tatara kills you for making him wait." Aya chuckled to Ayato's apathetic reminder.
She looked at the indigo haired boy who appeared tough before her – showing no concern for her well-being when in fact, deeply within him, he cared for her. Chuckling at his tough persona, Aya breathed in deeply, for a moment forgetting about the suffering boy a few building away from them.
"We wouldn't want that, would we?"
Ayato simply shrugged with his shoulders. He watched her as she made her way off the roof of the building. Through the hallways of the buildings, Aya knew exactly where to find Tatara. He was always in the same place, in the Auditorium, thinking, waiting. And walking with her own pace through the old walls of the halls, Aya came to the wide room – the stench of one-eyed ghoul's blood still stained the floor. Memory of yesterday rolled into her mind and it took Aya all her thoughts to push that memory away just to prepare herself for whatever Tatara will tell her.
Quiet, mysterious and seemingly patient, Tatara saw on the worn-out leather couch. His red piercing eyes did not avert from her petite body as she approached in the pace she chose. His stoic appearance made many tremble before him – his very eyes effortlessly made shivers run down anyone's body. Even Aya felt a degree of unease in his presence, but she didn't want to tremble – she didn't allow Tatara to think he had established dominance over her emotions.
And just like a little puppy, always by his side, on the head lean of the couch sat the petite ghoul in tattered maroon cloak with droopy ears. Eto watched the girl with black ripped jeans with interest. Her elbows rested on the tips of her knees and silently, the eyes she hid under the bandages watched every step Aya made. Those sky blue eyes disinterestedly glanced at Eto. She came to a halt and her eyes averted back towards Tatara.
"You wanted to talk to me?" Alone in the room with them, Aya's voice almost echoed to every corner.
"Are you questioning my authority, Aya?" He went straight to point – just as Aya expected.
Her heart clenched in her chest for a moment – she knew speaking up yesterday was going to be questioned. Tatara did not leave room for errors – whatever there was something or someone that could affect their cause, Tatara made sure to remove it. Right now, Aya's behavior yesterday was being questioned.
"No."
It was the simplest answer that she could give him – and that answer did not put Tatara at ease. The small dissatisfied groan that came from underneath his red mask told Aya that this conversation will become quite unpleasant for her. Tatara rose onto his feet, once again towering before without even being close.
"Then why did you question my choice with the one-eyed one?"
"Because I didn't see a reason why such potential ghoul should go to waste by Yamori's hand."
"Potential?" Tatara chuckled to her reason. "Don't make me laugh."
To Tatara, Aya was a valuable ghoul to have in the ranks of Aogiri Tree. He could not allow her to question his decisions or let herself think that she has the authority to make decisions without his consent. Tatara was the leader of Aogiri, direct subordinate of One-eyed King, he could not allow insolence within Aogiri's ranks. He could definitely not allow it when it came to the mind and eyes of Aogiri Tree – for Aya, he would make an extra effort in putting her back into her place.
"Was it compassion, Aya?" Tatara stepped forth towards her. "Did you feel sorry for such pitiful creature?"
Aya's eyes hardened. "No." She did not dare to speak more words that needed in the presence of Tatara – short and obedient will get her out of the room quicker than giving Tatara a piece of her mind.
But Tatara knew there was more on Aya's tongue that wished to leave her mouth. She stared up at him fearlessly – and it irritated Tatara as much as it made him proud. Aogiri needed strong leaders that did not tremble before the most terrible of foes. Aya was perfect leader in Tatara's eyes – but he didn't want to give her a chance to be arrogant with her talents. As long as he was alive, Tatara did not let anyone think they could replace him.
"Good." He leaded dangerously close, threateningly invading Aya's personal space. "Question my decisions one more time, and I will break you until you become nothing but a broken doll."
Expendable. Every member of Aogiri Tree was just a pawn in a very large game. As much as Aya was important to Aogiri's cause, she was no less expendable. Removing her from their ranks would weaken Aogiri's strengthen, but there was always someone else that could replace her. Tatara kept a dangerous eye contact to her, watching her standing still and strong, holding back every itch on her body that told her to yield before the stronger ghoul.
"You may leave now." Tatara moved away – giving her room to breathe. "I want the strategic plan of defense ready be the morning."
Aya said nothing more – she held her voice behind her teeth where it should be in the presence of Tatara. Briefly, her eyes wondered towards the quiet watcher wrapped in bandages. And she turned on her heels, walking away in faster pace than in which she came. Tatara and Eto quietly watched, her footsteps only becoming a distant sound that was swallowed into the silence.
"She has a lot to learn, Eto."
Playfully, the petite figure raised onto her feet, twirling on the tips of her toes and skipping onto the ground. "She'll learn. One way or another."
▪
Another day had gone by. Aya did as she was told – she prepared the defense plan with every position covered. CCG – Commission of Counter Ghoul – will definitely come for every side possible. Tatara was satisfied, at least Aya hoped that was the case. He did say anything as Aya presented the plan to him – and it was up to him to make the last decision.
Disappearing from all the Aogiri members, Aya found herself at her usual place – on top of the building of Aogiri's hideout. One more night of observing. She could never be too careful with CCG – she knew that CCG knew they were hidden somewhere within 11th Ward and their location might have found its way within their Headquarters. They were preparing – Aya was certain that any day now, they will be on their way to their hideout and Aya will see them coming.
Usually, all that was on her mind was CCG and plans for Aogiri Tree's cause. But not anymore. Her mind drifted off towards the tower from which she heard screams once again – she lost the count of how many times she had heard those screams. Aya thought she would get use to them – but her mind did not let her. Even in her dreams, she would see Ken Kaneki, blood and unending screams that brought her out of her nightmares. But this point, she was suffering from insomnia.
The screams stopped in the night. And her eyes watched as Yamori left the tower with satisfied grin. Aya knew she shouldn't, but she couldn't live with the nagging feeling within her body that tormented her though day and night. She was being soft – feeling such concern and sympathy for a boy that was once only a human – and now it was a half-ghoul made from Rize's organs. Aya heard of the incident that had taken place in 20th Ward with steel beams falling on constructive site – but never in her wildest of thoughts she thought he could have been involved.
Sneaking through the grounds of Aogiri's hideout, Aya found her way in front of the door that lead to Yamori's playroom. Her hand reached forward, but suddenly, something halted her actions. Is he even alive? What should I say to him? How should I speak to him? Does he even remember me? Countless of questions weighed on her mind, taking all the confidence she had. After all, eight years have passed since the last time she had seen him. She had changed. He had changed. Everything had changed.
Breathing in indecisively, Aya begun to gather her courage to prepare herself for whatever sight might await her behind the closed door. Gripping the door knob, she twisted it and pushed it open slowly – making a silent sound as she peaked inside. And the scene was not as gruesome as her mad mind had imagine it. There was blood on the floor with toes and fingers missing from the broken body of a boy. The blood stopped oozing from the teared out places and regeneration process kicked in.
"...265...258...251...244..."
Aya's forehead wrinkled at the sound of the broken voice that counted down in pain. The bangs of his black hair hide the true facial expression from Aya's sight. And at the moment, Aya was still gathering up the courage to be able to look him the eye. He was shivering the chair that held so many victims chained and helpless.
"...237...230...223...216..."
Even though he heard the footsteps of leather boots, he didn't stop counting. He was only imagining – he thought. There was help coming – he was kept in a loop without salvation. His only escape were the numbers and his own thoughts that took him into the past and back to reality. Constantly drifting in between.
"...209...202...195...188..."
"Ken?"
Mom?
The sobbing disappeared and the boy looked in front of himself. Blue eyes in which he could get lost stared up at him. Who are you? The girl kneeled before him, looking at his tormented expression that showed hope. He saw light in her – his savior. Pretty. Ken thought as he watched the pale face framed by long dark brown hair. What kind of a dream is this?
Little unsure smile came to her lips. "Hi..." She whispered silently. "Remember me?"
His mind got hazy. He saw a little girl with a big smile on her face, her eyes always so light from all the joy. He always made her smile. Whatever it is a book he gave her or a something he said, she would smile. He remembers being important to her... until one day she never came to the park where they always read books and bantered. He waited day after day for her, but she never showed up. So many years passed by, and from time to time, he would remember her.
"Aya..."
And a smile spread, bringing light into her blue eyes just as he remembers. The anxiousness disappeared off her shoulder and she felt at ease. He remembers me. Her hand reached forwards, tracing away the tears that stained his cheeks. With the softness of her skin, she touched his skin and caressed it with tenderness. Pain disappeared and Ken left himself enjoy the dream – not knowing that it was actually reality that was caressing him so gently.
"It's been so long. I'm sorry I never came back to that playground. I just simply couldn't." Her hand retraced back to her lap and Ken opened his eyes – searching for the absence of her warmth. "So much had happened to me since the last time we saw each other. To you too. I knew we would see each other again... but not like this."
Ken watched her, his mind listened to her words. She seemed so real, there was unusual silence and it took him a while to realize he was not dreaming. She was not just an imaginary scene; she was not in his dream to comfort him. You're here. He wanted to reach forward, but pain cut through his body. He looked hideous. Tears filled his eyes as he looked back down onto his missing toes and fingers. He felt so miserable in her presence, so vulnerable and wrecked. Cry left his lips, taking away the smile from Aya's expression and replacing it with concern.
"Shhh, shhh... Please don't cry." She tried to comfort him.
"Kill me." An arrow pierced her very heart upon hearing his desperate request. "Kill me. Kill me. Kill me." And he repeated himself over and over again.
His desperate cries broke something within Aya. Stupid sympathy. She cursed herself for letting one-eyed ghoul touch her heart. He didn't deserve it. All the torture was thrust onto him and he was suffocating. And she couldn't watch him begging for death to come sooner. Not him. He did not deserve to experience such torment. The image of that innocent human repeatedly played inside her head and she imaged that child being the one it the blood-stained chair, endlessly being tortured with pain becoming the only familiar physical feeling. It awoke something old in her – the compassion which she left behind in her youth in order to survive the ranks of Aogiri Tree.
Breathing in, Aya confidently reached out to grasp onto the chains that bind his ankles. Her hands gripped onto them metal and she was ready to put all her strength into her arms in order to rip them apart without causing him more pain. But she hesitated. There was someone in the room – other that her and Ken. He watched her in silence, observing her actions carefully. Ken's murmuring continued, but his voice disappeared into the back of her mind and she focused onto the person standing behind her.
"So, Tatara was right."
Aya pushed herself onto her feet quickly and faced the small voice behind her. It was Eto. Standing still with hands behind her back, watching Aya with curiosity. Aya didn't know how long she stood there, but she saw enough to know Aya's true feelings. The guard Aya always wore simply begun to crumble and the softness Aya carried revealed itself to Eto – a mysterious individual of Aogiri Tree that nobody knew much about. Except for Aya, she knew too much.
"You are becoming soft." Eto pointed out with tone of disappointed.
"He doesn't deserve this, Eto." Aya replied with a steady voice.
"Oh?" Eto curiously responded. "He doesn't, does he?" Silently, she took small steps towards her – tip toeing one foot in front of the other. "But is he worth it?" She questioned her. "Will you really allow one feeble creature to destroy all you have accomplished with Aogiri Tree?"
Her sanity was being questioned. Her heart was being teared between what is right and what it wrong. Righteousness or wickedness. To do what she knew is right and good, or to kill the goodness she still had in herself for the cause that has become her life. Ken looked up at Aya to see her struggling with her own self. She wanted to save him. She wanted to rip the chains off of him and free him. But there was another person within her, whispering wicked words to her. The voice told her to let him die. The voice mocked her softness as her downfall. It was tearing her apart, eating her very own sanity.
"The One-Eyed King has put so much trust in you, and you are going to disappoint him?" Eto further questioned her, standing just a few steps away from her. "Because of one insignificant boy?"
Insignificant? Aya realized just how foolish she was being – putting her loyalty on the line because of one meaningless boy that will die sooner or later. Yamori was going to break him – he breaks all of his toys and Aya knew this one won't make it another day. The role she played was of too much value to be destroyed by someone so breakable.
Her expression became cold, her eyes distant and emotionless. Ken watched as the light she once held in herself turn into night. So cold and scary. He was not looking at Aya who he remembers, but someone who lost all the joy in the world. Without hesitation, she walked away from him.
Satisfying smile adorned Eto's lips. "That's a good girl."
With a giggle echoing through the room, Eto skipped behind the ghoul. Aya twisted every bit of need within her to turn back around and choose differently. She knew she was doing the right thing, but she didn't wish for it to be the right choice. Aya wanted a different choice, different circumstances, different opportunities. But that was life for her – she was a marionette; and a marionette always moves how the puppeteer desires.
The door closed and Ken was once against left all alone in the room with his own pain. The ray of hope that came to him disappeared as if a large and dark cloud came passing by. It was cold, being all alone.
"Aya?" His body shook as a wave of desperateness crushed him. "Aya!"