The words. Everything. It all hurt.
"You don't need to try so hard."
Barbara didn't understand. He does need to try hard. Because if he's himself, then no one would accept him.
Bruce would leave him again. Everyone would leave him. He would never be loved again. If he didn't try so hard.
He just had to make Barbara understand.
"That's not your thing."
But it had to be. He had to be ruthless like Jason sometimes. He had to do it, otherwise Damian would have died.
If Dick didn't step up, then Damian would have died. But he did, nearly costing him his own life instead.
"Quit trying to be something you're not!"
Nobody understood. Not Babs, not Jason, not even Tim.
He has to try and be Batman. If Bruce dies, Batman will be his role to fulfill. He has to try and become smarter.
Smarter like Tim.
Darker like Bruce.
Quicker like Damian.
Better, like Batbara.
And ruthless like Jason.
All those qualities sum up to be who Batman is. He can't be a happy Batman. That's who Nightwing is. Was. Not anymore.
Word around Blüdhaven is that Nightwing has become better. Quicker, smarter, more ruthless, and even broodier than usual.
They just don't understand. To be Batman takes his skill level to an area he's never ventured before.
He has to be the best. Otherwise what's the point of Batman? It's certainly not to fail.
At least, in Dick's eyes.
The sound of gunfire brought Dick back to where he was, quickly dodging all the bullets fired while running at the men firing.
He had not smiled in a while, and the Batfamily took notice of this. They were all worried, but thought it was just a phase, that it'll pass.
Oh boy, were they wrong.
Dick attacked all the men and contacted the police of the drug dealing he just stopped.
When he scanned the area, his eyes came upon a match and a cigarette that must have fallen out of a crate or something.
No! We can't do that! That's wrong, and stealing! Walk away!
Dick was having a mental debate in his head about weather or not he should take the items.
Yes! Take them! People sell them for a reason! They make you feel good.
His demon did have a point there.
Dick settled on the yes, and quickly swooped down and grabbed the two small items in his right hand.
He quickly jumped out of the building onto a rooftop not far away, and sat down. He opened his hand to reveal the two tems.
He popped the cigarette in his mouth and went to light the lighter. The yellow flame enchanted Dick for a few moments, before he set the drug on fire.
He breathed it in and took out the cigarette to see beautiful grey smoke come out of his lips, making a weird pattern in the air before it disappeared.
He went to take another breath, but the sound of a gunshot and the feel of the missing stick in his mouth made him frown.
He looked to his left to see Red Hood standing there, a gun aimed at his mouth, and white smoke coming out into the air.
"What are you doing, golden boy?"
Dick could tell that Jason was worried, though it was extremely difficult to tell, it was still there.
"What does it look like?"
"It looks like you were trying to gain an addiction. Dick, do you want to die of heart disease."
Nightwing lowered his head like a sad puppy did when it did something wrong. He stayed silent, looking out on the city below.
Jason took his silence as a yes.
"What the heck Dick?! Why would you try to kill yourself? You're golden boy. Bruce admires you the most."
Jason didn't notice Dick crying until after his little mini speech. He noticed his shoulders shaking and heard a small sob escape his mouth.
"... Dick, are you okay?"
Nightwing continued to cry a little more. He couldn't take it. All the pressure of being the best. Of pushing himself to do better.
"I'm sick of it Jay." He whispered.
Jason slowly walked over to him and sat next to his crying older brother, swinging one arm around his figure.
"Sick of what?"
"Of trying to be the best. Of trying to be the golden child. Of trying to live up to your expectations. Trying to live up to my own expectations of myself."
Jason was confused.
"What are you talking about?"
"Don't act like you don't know. Tim is the smartest one. You're brave beyond belief. Damian is quick and fast. Barbara is naturally good.
Steph is quirky, but gets the job done and does well under pressure. Cass does well in general. But I bring nothing. I don't deserve this."
Dick reached up to his chest and removed the blue bird from his suit.
"I don't deserve to be a hero. I'll never live to be like Bruce. To be even remotely as good as him. A street kid could do better than I can."
Dick set the bird on his other side and pushed himself up. Jason got up too, to try and stop Dick.
Dick was stripping himself of almost everything that resembled Nightwing. He took his escrima sticks out of their holster and threw them on the floor.
He emptied all of his utility belt of everything, even the lead laced box that had a sliver of Kryptonite in it.
"Dick, please, stop."
Dick continued and acted as if he didn't hear Jason. He took out all of his wing dings and smoke bombs.
"Stop it! Just stop!" Jason yelled at his brother, taking off his helmet.
But Dick continued to empty out his extra throwing knives and extra wing dings hidden in secret compartments.
"DICK STOP!" Jason yelled, tears now coming down his cheecks as he grabbed his brothers hands, that were about to take off his mask.
"You need to stop. You don't realize how much everyone needs you. How much Bruce needs. How much I need you. Please stop."
Jason didn't care if anyone could see them, he really only cared about stopping his brother from quitting.
"Please tell me you will continue to be Nightwing. And for the sake of humanity, smile. I haven't seen it in such a long time."
Dick smiled slightly at the mention of his brother missing his smile. Tears started to form in his eyes too, and eventually he burst out crying.
Jason supported him and soothed him as he cried into his chest.
It was about midnight when he stopped, and they just sat on the rooftops, staring out into the city.
"Can you promise me?"
"I promise."
They sat like that for a little while, until Jason couldn't hold it in any longer, and had to tell him.
"Dick?"
Dick hummed, as if saying "yes?"
"I... I like you. A lot."
Jason could feel Dick's body stiffen in his hold, and the motion made Jason freak out.
Gahhh, I knew I shouldn't have said that. Idiot idiot idiot. He probably hates me now, probably thinks I'm a los-
"I like you too, Jay."
Now Jason was the one who was left suprised. Jason could feel Dick shift his body so he now completely faced Jason.
"And I've been waiting too long to do this."
And with that Nightwing and Red Hood became a couple from that day forward. The end.
Next chapter is Batboys