"Why are you two so quiet?" Beck snorts as we all sit around the lunch table. It's Friday, almost a full week since Co and I last talked.
I miss him.
"Tired" we both respond at the same time, not bothering to look up from our lunch trays. We'd both been quiet all week, we no longer walk with each other, we no longer mess around in our classes, we just don't interact.
And we leave for Chicago a week from today. Great.
Six nights without him sneaking in and six nights ending in me falling asleep, with a tear stained face. I hated that I was hurting this much.
I don't get hurt like this for this long. It happens. I'm sad for a few hours, then I shut out my emotions and ignore the situation all together. It's always been that easy. I don't deal with my emotions, I didn't have time to, so I just erased them all together. Ignoring that they ever existed in the first place for a while.
It's hard to ignore the situation though when it still gets me coffee every morning, silently leaving it on the counter for me to grab.
It's hard to ignore the fucking situation when it sits next to me in every class. Our seats had already been permanently assigned.
It's hard to ignore everything when every ounce of my soul and body is telling me to go to him.
"O-Kay" Beck says slowly "Are you guys excited for Chicago?"
"Yeah"
"Yep"
"I'm so fucking excited" Jordan grins, ending the awkward tension that had taken over our table "Especially having our little tour guide by our side, I can't wait" he throws his arms round me as we eat, all returning to a somewhat peaceful silence. Em had joined after getting her food, her and Arrex now engaged in some argument over something comically stupid like usual. Amy was here too, laughing and talking about anything and everything with Beck, Ty, Wes and Jordan.
"I'm gonna go to the library" Co states out of nowhere, grabbing his tray and bag and leaving.
"What's up with him?"
"How would I know" I roll my eyes, before grabbing my phone. I mentally scold myself for saying this, no one knew that we weren't together anymore. Some of them didn't even know we were together in the first place.
"Well you guys are-wait" Jordan stops himself as he looks at me, sadness taking over his eyes
"Don't look at me like that, I don't wanna talk about it." I state. I'm trying my best to block out everything, and I plan on doing just that.
"Belle-" he goes to talk again but I cut him off
"I'm good Jordan" I stare at him "Perfectly fine. Now I have to pee" I get up just like Co did, and toss my tray in the garbage can as I pass.
I do go to the bathroom, but instead of going back to the lunchroom, I make my way to the science lab. It was peaceful there and I loved to look at some of the labs other grades were doing. Freshman honors bio, was currently running an experiment on the effects nd development of antibiotic resistance. Sophomore honors chem was doing a color and light study, so in their section, they had all the special papers splattered with colors. They did a lot of the fun experiments, once you got to Junior and senior science classes though, we all got our classrooms equipped with science labs, we didn't have to share any.
My favorite one here was the germ study, I'd always loved microbiology and honestly just bio in general.
After looking around for a little bit I decide to go to Anatomy early, surely Mrs. Ria's already there, I know she wouldn't mind me going in early.
"Oh hey Belle, you're here early" Mrs.Ria greets me as I walk in
"Hey Mrs.Ria" I muster up as best I could of a smile "Is it alright if I just hang out here, this is my lunch period but I really don't wanna be in there right now" I huff
"Yeah of course, you're always welcome here" She grins "While you're here, could you just help go through these and separate them by class period?"
"Yeah, no problem, it gives me something to do," I shrug before sitting down across from her. She was coincidentally sitting at my table.
"So..." She starts "Why have you been so quiet lately? You and Caleb both have been,"
"It's nothing" I huff, I couldn't snap at her like I did Jordan
"You know, I don't think that true" She grins "You two all year have been like partners in crime, now you don't even look at eachother"
"We're just not talking right now" I state simply, not looking at her "We got into a fight"
"This bad?" She questions and I just nod "I'm sorry"
"Theres nothing you could've done Mrs. Ria" I grin, she was one of the very few teachers who didn't just seem like a teacher. She was like a friend you could just sit down and bullshit with
"Yeah" she shrugs "What's the history behind you two anyway? If you don't mind my asking"
"No I don't mind at all" I smile just thinking about Caleb and I "I've known him since I was born, our families are best friends. We've done everything together for basically ever"
"You must have a lot of stories" she laughs as she continues with the papers
"Too many" I laugh "I have more blackmail material over him than his own parents do"
"Like what?"
"Oh god" I try to think of an appropriate story to tell a teacher, most of them happened when he was drunk "Oh he was trying to sneak up to my room when night when we were like twelve, cause I have like this balcony with a door into my room. As he was climbing up, my dad snuck out to the backyard with an air horn, blew it loud as hell, Caleb got so scared, he screamed like a little girl and fell down" I laugh as I tell the story, it was hilarious.
"There was another time, all of us went into the woods really late at night, we were like ten or so, and he was already freaked out, so I decided to have fun and hide away from the group. When he came to look for me, I jumped out and scared the shit out of him. He started crying he was so scared"
"You torture that boy" she grins
"Eh he gets me back, it's kind of a never ending battle" I shrug, this is the first time this week I've thought about Co without crying "He scares me weekly or comes up with some sort of elaborate prank,"
"I gotta ask, are you two-" she starts to say
"We were" I cut her off "Not as of last Saturday though"
"How long were you two together?"
"Since New Years, only like two and a half months" I shrug
"I would've guessed you'd been together years" she smiles slightly "Just they way you two were with each other"
"A lot of people thought that" I smile sadly, I feel myself well up with tears " but I messed some stuff up,"
"Well nothing you can't fix" she shrugs
"I don't think we can go back the way we were, we said a lot of stuff" I say just as the bell rights, my class period was gonna be starting soon
"All I'm saying is, talk to him. You two mean a lot to each other, that's evident, you shouldn't throw it away over some stupid fight" she offers me a small smile "Thanks for helping me with these papers,"
"No problem" I say, contemplating her words "Hey Mrs. Ria?"
"What's up?"
"Would I be able to come here next week for lunch?" I ask, today was nice. With everything I've had going on, being here was calming and kinda helped me get away from my problems for a little bit.
"Of course, my classrooms always open" she smiles before returning to her desk, the class was starting and I sat silently at my table waiting for my group to walk in.
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"You need this" Jordan states handing me my favorite carton on Ben and Jerries ice cream as Em, Amy and him all file into my room and hop on my bed.
"Why'd you get me this?" I questions, opening it "I mean thanks but why?"
"You're heart broken, ice cream helps" Amy shrugs, taking the lid off hers
"I'm not heart broken, Co and I just weren't supposed to be together" I say sadly, holding back tears that threatened to fall for my eyes
"Bitch, you've been walking around school like someone killed your puppy for the passed week, you're heart broken" Jordan snorts
"I mean, so has he, so at least you aren't the only one in this stupid ass situation that's completely miserable" Em states bluntly, taking a bite of her ice cream
"Em!" Amy and Jordan both scold her for her bluntness. Some people considered it insensitive, I never really did though, just leave it to Em to tell you like it is.
"She's not wrong" I huff. I just stare down at my ice cream before finally taking a scoop and shoving it into my mouth "this is a stupid ass situation. I've never felt this sad before, I feel drained, and I miss him and I just want to cry" my voice started to go high, I couldn't control the tears now feeling streaming from my eyes.
I just lean of Jordan's shoulder, he wraps his arm around me and pulls me closer
"It's okay bellaboo," he soothes as I cry into his shirt "you'll get him back" I just start to cry even more. I didn't know how that was going to happen and I hated not knowing. I am a fixer. I am the one they go to with whatever problem that have and I fix it, I easily give advice and help find solutions for other people but the minute I have my own issue I have no idea how to fix it. This one especially.
"How about, tonight we just hang out?" Any suggests
"Yeah" Em agrees "I brought my older makeup, we could do blind makeovers like we did when we were little,"
"And I brought over all of my picture books from six years old to fifteen, we can look through those too" Jordan smiles, I loved looking at the old pictures we all had, he knew that.
"And I brought over popcorn, and my mom made extra lumpia cause I told her you were sad" Amy grins. I loved her mom, I gotta remember to call her later and thank her.
"Thank you guys" I sigh, wiping my eyes "I love you"
"We love you too" Jordan speaks as Em and Amy nod along, small smiles on their faces
"Now let's put a bandaid on that broken heart of yours," Em claps, grabbing one of her makeup bags "these first"