Madison’s conscious plagued her for the next couple of days. Her appetite as well as her ability to concentrate vanished. She received several reprimands from teachers for vacantly staring out the windows. One teacher had even pulled her aside and asked if something was wrong.
Madison couldn’t fault the teacher for her concern. She knew she looked like hell. Restless night coupled with intense guilt had taken its toll. Her skin appeared sallow, losing its natural glow, and dark circles formed under her eyes. She’d even lost the bounce in her step, dragging her feet as she trudged along.
Avery and the others noticed the change her also. At first they used discretion—covertly putting food on her plate or feeling her forehead for a fever—but after a couple days they ditched caution and straight out asked what was bothering her. She didn’t know how to respond so instead she shrugged the questions off and started avoiding them. She showed up to class right as the bell rang and bolted out right after. During lunch she hid in various spots, changing each day so they wouldn’t find her.
Frankly, it was exhausting and Madison knew something had to give. She couldn’t keep living her life like this. The only problem is she didn’t know what to do. By confessing, she would be betraying the others, but if she didn’t, she would be eaten alive by guilt. When she woke up Thursday morning, she had a plan. She would assuage her conscious by returning the medal. It wouldn’t solve everything, but it would be a start.
After school, she visited the library and quietly slipped into the back room. Taking out the box, she inserted the key she stole from Kelly during class and pulled out the medal. She went to close it, but hesitated when she saw the photo Wyatt had taken of her. Silently, she debated whether or not to snatch that too. If she did, it would be the final nail in the coffin for their friendship. Her fingers hovered for a beat before grabbing it. However, when she picked it up she discovered other photos as well, each of a FEC member with a stolen item.
Smart, she thought to herself. It was an insurance policy, a way to keep every member accountable.
Impulsively, she snatched those too and stuffed them in her backpack. Hopefully taking and burning them would compensate for her betrayal. Trying to appear nonchalant, she exited the building in a leisurely pace. When no one stopped her or suddenly yelled, “Thief!” she knew she was in the clear.
When she finally got home, she parked her car and blew out a sigh. Her plan was only halfway done. Tomorrow she would return the medal and reclaim the FEC coin. And somehow during all that, she would find a way to tell Avery and the gang what she had done. No problem right?
She checked her phone as she made her way into the house. Three missed calls and a voicemail from Avery as well as a text from Carson. She opened the text first.
Hope everything is all right. You’ve been MIA for our lunch ritual. What’s going on? Call me. —Carson
Madison was steering clear of Carson as well. Ever since the interviews she had trouble being in his presence. Every look, every smile he sent her was painful reminder of her deceit. If he ever found out the truth about her involvement, he’d turn his back on her. She opened the front door and listened to Avery’s message as she walked to her room.
“Hey, it’s me Avery. You didn’t pick up your phone…again.” She sighed, sounding resigned. “I know you’re avoiding me. I’m not sure what happened or what I did, but I got the hint. You don’t want to talk or see me. That’s fine. I get it. I just—”
Avery paused. When she spoke again, her voice was subdued. “I guess I just assumed after your visit to my house we reached a new level in our friendship—you know, really bonded. I thought you understood me, accepted me. I know my flaw can be difficult for some people, but I thought you’d be different. I guess I was wrong.”
She paused again, taking in a deep breath. “I just have one final thing to say.” Her voice was louder now, more rushed, more confident. “I think it’s pretty crappy of you to avoid me like this. I reached out to you, invited you to be my friend. You could at least have the decency to tell me you don’t want to hang out anymore to my face. The way you’ve been avoiding me has not only been extremely rude, but hurtful. And if this is how you treat a friend, then I don’t want any part of it. Goodbye Madison. I guess I’ll see you around…or not.”
In shock, Madison gradually pulled the phone away from her ear. She’d been so wrapped up in her own feelings she hadn’t considered anyone else’s. Mentally, she let out a string of curses then began berating herself. It seemed her selfishness had hurt someone yet again. When would she learn?
She was so caught up in her thoughts; she didn’t notice her bedroom door cracked open which she normally kept shut. Walking in, she stopped and blinked.
“Mom?” she cried out. “What are you doing?”
Although it was fairly obvious what she was doing since she was elbow deep in the drawer of her desk.
“Madison,” she said, jumping back. “I was just…cleaning.”
“You’re searching through my things,” she accused. Her eyes narrowed as they darted from her mother to the desk. “What were you looking for?”
“Now lets not blow this out of proportion, Madison,” her mother started, trying to placate her.
“You were invading my privacy! Of course I’m going to get mad! Why were you ever in there?”
Her mother’s spine stiffened as she squared her shoulders. “You’ve been acting weird lately.”
Madison’s pulse jumped. “Weird?”
“You’ve been walking around here like a zombie. You don’t eat. You don’t sleep and you haven’t been talking to your friends.”
An uncomfortable sensation spread down her back. She hitched her bag higher, thankful she removed the FEC coins from the desk when she did. “I’ve been grounded remember? Of course I haven’t talked to them.”
“We didn’t take away your phone and you haven’t been calling or texting them—”
“So you’ve been monitoring me like a criminal?”
“—and it’s my duty as a mother to make sure you’re all right.”
Feeling under attack, she crossed her arms and scowled. “You could have just asked me. I would have told you I’m fine.”
“Your fine and my fine are two very different definitions. And we haven’t exactly been on the best speaking terms recently. Somehow I doubt you would tell me the truth.” Her mother’s words were right on point. So much so that Madison was forced to look away.
Her mother’s expression softened as she crossed the room. She played with Madison’s hair, running her fingers through the tresses and then smoothing them down. “I wish you would tell me what’s wrong. Is it school? Are you having a hard time with the honor classes? Should we take you out? Get you a tutor?”
Madison shook her head.
“Is it boys? Friends? Bullies?” Each question was met with a firm no. Her mother paused, then asked hesitantly, “Is it me?”
“I’m fine, Mom.” At her mother’s skeptical look, she added, “Really. I’ve just been under a lot pressure lately with school and the newspaper and everything else, but my load should lighten soon. In fact, I should start studying. I have a big math test tomorrow.”
Her mother bit her bottom lip, hesitation pouring out of her. Clearly, she wanted to pursue the matter more, but after a few moments she moved to the door, letting the topic go. Stopping short of the hallway, she turned and said, “I know we have our differences, but you can come to me if you need to talk. I’m always here for you, Madison. It may not seem like it, but I’m here to help.”
Feeling too overwhelmed by the events of the past hour, Madison could only nod her head in response.
Her mother gave her a sad smile then patted the door. “Okay, well, dinner is in an hour.”
When Madison was sure her mother left, she crawled into bed. Hidden under her covers, she finally let go and cried.