"FLUKE!!! WAKE UP!!!" I heard Mild shouting outside my room while knocking so hard on my door.
I want to sleep more but the noise is just too much. I can't bear it anymore.
"WHAT?" I shouted back while getting up.
When I opened my door, I was about to scold him but he's there, holding bowls and soup in plastic bags.
"What's this?" I asked him. He smiled at me.
"Happy birthday!!!" And he entered my room without being invited. He started transferring the soup to the bowl. "I know you don't like celebrating it but I feel like this is a different one from all the birthdays you've had."
"What do you mean by that?" How can this be a different one from all the past birthdays? I never liked celebrating my birthday since my 14th birthday. What happened that day was painful.
"I don't really know. I feel like this day will change everything." He smiled and started devouring the soup.
"I thought you brought that for me?"
"I brought it for the two of us." He handed me my bowl. Mild, after all these years, is still Mild. He has always been the one to remember my birthday. Sometimes, my parents and brothers even forget about it.
"Hey, by the way, P'Earth asked me to hand you something." He put down his bowl and opened his bag. He took a box. It's quite big.
"What's this?" I asked as I inspected it.
"I don't know. P'Earth said you should open it this afternoon."
"Why?"
"I don't know. Ah, by the way, how about your P'Ohm, does he know it's your birthday? Are you going on a date????" He sounded excited.
"I don't know if he knows that it is my birthday, but no greetings yet. Besides, he's out of town for work." And that is the sad part. I wanted to invite him to the gallery yesterday to celebrate my birthday in advance but he's out of town the whole week. The other sad part is that I was not able to visit the gallery as it's the last day of exhibit yesterday.
It's already afternoon, maybe I can open the box that Mild brought this morning.
The box is quite big, the size of the shoebox of nike shoes. The box is plain black, no designs.
The first thing I saw when I opened it was a paper with "Memories" written on it. It's hand written, and I'm quite sure it's P'Ohm's penmanship.
When I removed the paper, the first thing is a photo. Actually, everything inside the box is a photo. And at the back of every photo there is something written.
2. The smell of coffee. The smell of coffee in this shop reflects the hardwork of its people. (This can be used for a competition but the person sleeping in the middle just destroyed the atmosphere. How can I say it's a busy day when someone is asleep.)
It's a photo of the coffeeshop. P'Apple was manning the counter while manager is delivering order to a table near the counter. And in the middle, there's a person sleeping. The date on the photo is 30/03/19.
3. Scent of the rain. The busy street has been deserted as the rain started to pour. (Well, except for that kid playing in the rain in front of the coffee shop)
It's a photo of the street where the coffee shop is located. You can see the coffee shop in the photo and a person holding an umbrella. The date is 15/04/19. I think the person holding the umbrella was me. This was the day that I was testing if I have recovered from my past. I got so excited when I did not start trembling when I got out of the coffee shop. I remember jumping and twirling at that time.
4. Happiness. You can always find happiness everywhere, even in a piece of cake. (I've never seen anyone as happy as him, except for P'Tay, around pastries)
It was the time I was asked by P'Apple to convince P'Tawan to partner with us. The photo makes it look like I'm sniffing the cakes...well I was really sniffing the cakes.
5. People. First day at university, some people chasing their dreams while some looking for their destiny. (The student, who is eating, has funny facial expressions when talking to his friend who does not even look at him).
The photo was dated 10/06/19. It was the first day of class. I saw myself in the photo, Mild too. It was when we were eating at the canteen. I wasn't looking at Mild while he's talking because I was looking at his portfolio.
6. Green Tea. I never thought a cup of green tea tastes good. (I've always been a coffee person. Thanks for the drink, P'Fluke, I mean N'Fluke)
It's a photo of the cup of green tea I gave him. I can see the note I've written on the cup: "To new beginnings ❤"
7. Watch where you are going. (My senior mentor is quite clumsy, almost getting hit my any possible car that is passing by. He usually blushes. And when he does, his ears become red as well. How cute.)
It's a photo of my back and street light. It's the first time we went to school together. So...was he documeting our every interaction?
8. Meal. It's always fun to have meal with friends. (So N'Fluke is my captain's mentee. I thought he's more than that to P'Earth. The way P'Earth look at N'Fluke makes me feel like there is something. N'Fluke seems comfortable with him. I asked P'Earth if he can help me in the future. To be honest I don't know what help I'm talking about.)
It's just a photo of the aftermath of our dinner. The photo's date is 11/06/19.
9. Memory. It's funny how they get to see a memory of us before you will. (I found something interesting in my studio when I was cleaning. I asked help from P'Earth and P'Mild to print the photos in the old film I found. Most of the photos were exposed. Only a few survived. One of those will be exhibited)
It's a photo of P'Earth and Mild inside a darkly-lit room. They're hanging photos? I think they are inside a room where they print photos, like old school printing. I'm trying to see if I can make out something from the photos they're hanging but I failed. The date is 13/07/19? Isn't it the day the three of them came to the coffee shop together? The time the two bragged how clumsy I am?
10. Close your eyes. Don't be shy. (How cute of him to be so shy even of the smallest thing. Only goes to show how kind he is.)
The photo seems to be taken in the university pool. This was the time I helped him review! So, he was taking a photo of me when he suddenly fell silent?
11. Run but don't hide. I want to chase you, run after you, and maybe run with you. (Before running, he told me I'm good looking. I don't know. I kept smiling with that idea of him seeing me as handsome. He's so shy, he's blushing again.)
This was after the review, when I hurriedly ran back at home. Oh my gosh! He only get to take a photo of my back, running away from him.
12. Fluke. Through my eyes. (Fluke Natouch is a happy person. He smiles a lot. He smiles when he is happy and excited. He smiles when he is sad tl ease the pain, maybe. He smiles when he is shy or shocked. He always smiles, and I cannot complain because his smiles always make me feel warm, and at ease. His smile has made me want to smile, and eventually smile.
Fluke Natouch is sweet. He is sweet to everyone. From his manager to his housemates to his friend. And I think that's why everyone takes care of him, looks after him. Actually, he has something in him that will make anyone want to look after him. Maybe his clumsiness? I've never seen such a clumsy person, but he makes it look so cute. Sometimes, I want to pinch his cheeks.
Fluke Natouch isn't what the eyes can see. Yes, he is sweet, caring and kind. He smiles a lot. But looking closely into his eyes, there is sadness that shows itself for a second if you look and closely pay attention. I do not know where it came from, but I know it is part of who Fluke is. He has the freedom to keep or to share his story. No matter what he decides on, I will accept him, and I hope others will too: accept and love him, the smiling and the sad Fluke. But nonetheless, I wish him to find genuine happiness.)
I believe, it's a photo of the essay they asked us to write during the first test of the Mentee-Mentor competition.
13. Looking at a piece of memory. (N'Fluke asked me today if is possible to find someone I can truly love. I told him I will very soon, that I feel like I already found the one. I indeed found the person. Although my feelings is still developing, I'm sure it's that person, I'm sure and I can really feel it).
It's me and the curator looking at the black and white photo by the mysterious artists. So, who could be that person? Why does he need to write that behind the photo?
14. My cheerleader. (I'm glad N'Fluke was able to watch me. I hope he takes care of himself so as not to injure himself.)
It's the photo of the medal he received for winning in the swimming competition.
15. Sweet dreams. (I've been feeling down these past few days because of pressure in my photography. I've been asked many times to choose between photography and swimming. I wanted to do both. I'm thankful to N'Fluke for allowing me to take refuge in him, thank him for giving me the comfort and strength I needed.)
What is this? This is a photo of me sleeping in P'Ohm's car. This was the same day as their swimming competition.
16. Starry night. (I did not expect that N'Fluke will share to me a piece of his past. I've seen the sadness in his eyes before but I never thought it is this sad and painful. All I could do was to hug him. If only I can take some of the pain he is feeling, I would gladly take them.)
I'm wondering when did P'Ohm took a photo of the sky? It looked so beautiful in his picture.
17. The only gift I can give. (I gave the gift to N'Fluke. It's a hug. Because at this moment, more than any material thing, I feel like it's what he needs. And...I also gave him a kiss on his forehead. Even I was surprised. I did not expect myself to do it.)
It's a photo of me looking at the 2nd photo of the mysterious photographer. Ohhhhhhhh I can still remember that night, the warm hug and the...sweet kiss???
18. Resemblance. (I got this hamster today. I felt the urge to buying it when I saw it at the market. Is this me wanting to be a pet owner, or me missing N'Fluke? Although we're talking everyday, being with him is still different.)
It's a photo of a hamster eating something. Do I look like a hamster?
19. Nice to see you again. (Finally, I get to see N'Fluke again. I must be lying if I say I did not miss him. I feel relieved and happy when P'Mild told me that N'Fluke has been waiting for my calls and texts. He didn't know I was dying to do so, it's just that I wanted to know something, to make sure that I'm taking the right path, to make sure I'm getting the go signal. Today, I got it from N'Fluke himself.)
It's me and Mild in front of the school building. This was the day that I get to see P'Ohm for the first time this year. What did he get from me? What signal is he talking about?
20. Hold on tight. (Earlier today, I saw N'Fluke at the gallery. I was with my friend earlier that day to show her the set-up for the exhibit of my photos. I went back because I forgot something. I saw N'Fluke staring at the photo. I did not reveal myself, I just looked at him from afar. I watch him go. I got to realized that I've seen the car he's using earlier. I feel like he saw me and my friend. I wanted to assure N'Fluke that I'm by his side, not anyone's side. The only thing I can do now is to hold his hand tightly.)
So, P'Ohm was awake when he took my hand? He even had the time to take a photo? Am I dreaming? Am I really reading all of these????
21. Blue in the dark. (A tight hug, that's all I can offer N'Fluke right now. I feel so useless and small. I'm jealous of P'Kao. I'm jealous of him knowing N'Fluke deeper than me. I'm jealous of him knowing what to do to ease his pain. I wanted to do the same to N'Fluke.)
He took a photo of the sea...I wanted to tell him, that him being beside me is enough...
22. Happy hour. (I feel like N'Fluke is avoiding me these past few days. This is maybe because of my new work. I wanted to make it up to him. I almost wanted to kiss his cheeks but it will be too obvious already. So I just whispered something in his ear. The universe has assured me once again that I'm on the right track.)
It's just a photo of an americano but why is my heart fluttering? And what does he mean by he is on the right track?
23. Don't cry. (I've been away for so long that I was not able to protect N'Fluke. When I heard about the news, I immediately went back and went straight to school to see him. Seeing him with red eyes, wiping tears, and wiping his nose made me so guilty that I ran to him and hugged him. It breaks my heart to see him like that.)
Okay, so why did he print out a screenshot of the comments about me of some of his fans? But anyways, I feel so happy to know what P'Ohm has been thinking all these time.
24. Food for the heart. (I cooked satay for N'Fluke because I heard he likes it. He also cooked pasta for me. I really urged him to cook pasta for me because he said he'll cook pasta in his first date. I want to make sure...to have a taste of his pasta.)
I never really imagine that P'Ohm can take photos of food beautifully. He's also good at taking them without me noticing. But...wait...so he asked me to cook pasta so that he will be my first date???
25. Muse. (P'Mild showed me all of the posts about N'Fluke. Although I told him to delete everything he sees from the time they started posting these comments, I requested P'Mild to screenshot them because I wanted to see. I never imagined that people can hate someone just because they are living their lives. I feel so sorry for N'Fluke. I hope he will not get to read any of the comments. I am prepared to protect him. But these comments are just so frustrating to me. I went to see N'Fluke to apologise but all he gave me was a reassurance. How can he be this kind and understanding? I thought I am strong enough to be the should he can lean on, but no, N'Fluke is stronger than me, I'm the one leaning on him and getting support from him. What did I do in my previous life to deserve him?)
It's the first photo of me that was not stolen or accidental. He really asked me to pose. He did not show me after taking the photo, but it turned out well.
After browsing through all the photos, there's a piece of paper and a ticket at the bottom of the box. The ticket has the same design as the ticket in the gallery.
P'Ohm wrote on the paper: If you are wondering where photo no. 1 is, you can visit the gallery today. Make sure to be there at 7:30pm.