Wanna go for a ride?
It's an emotional rollercoaster.
It's all Isaac's fault. He made me listen to it on the bus and now I can't stop.
Also: Horatio's old truck is back :D
♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤
Horatio, observer of all observers, couldn't help noticing how Ros and Guil made Hamlet laugh. He'd never managed it, not really. He could pull a sarcastic chuckle from the prince with a witty comment, but the two jesters made Hamlet double over with mirth. Horatio adored it.
Hamlet would often join Horatio in the library exchanging long goodbyes with the two. Horatio knew their schedules and thus knew that they'd be together again in class two hours later, but indulgently leaned against the doorframe and gazed fondly at the three friends.
The jesters were wonderful people, no doubt. Horatio noticed that Hamlet visibly brightened when they walked into the room. Horatio was pleased about it. If Ros and Guil's presence was all it took for Hamlet to light up like a star, Horatio would make sure he was around them as much as possible.
And yet...
"Horatio, c'mon, let's escape for a little while."
The scholar smiled in spite of himself and allowed the enthusiastic prince to drag him by the hand out of the library, through the halls, and down to the shitty parking garage with low rent that housed Horatio's knackered truck. Hamlet claimed shotgun and they were off, rolling all the windows down to feel the wind and blasting whatever was playing through the aux cord attached to the prince's phone.
Horatio drove them out of city limits and into the German countryside, the initial rush of freedom settling now the novelty had worn off. Or so Horatio thought, until Hamlet stumbled out of the car looking almost drunk and sprawling happily into the grass when Horatio pulled over.
"The sky is so big, come lay under it," Hamlet giggled, and Horatio couldn't say no.
I'm the luckiest guy on the Lower East side, he sang in his head.
~~~
Ophelia was an angel in an earthly body, and Horatio fully accepted this.
She was talented, intelligent, bubbly, and endlessly patient, not to mention beautiful. She had a warm smile and always smelled like flowers. The kind of girl Hamlet deserved.
So what did Hamlet do? He dated her brother.
Horatio was confused but supportive when Hamlet appeared suddenly on Laertes' arm. They both seemed happy, so Ophelia and Horatio patted them each on the back and retreated from the room to get their emotions under control.
"I'm in love with him," Ophelia confessed tearfully, and Horatio rubbed her shoulder.
"Me too," he said. She sniffled.
"Well, if my brother doesn't work out, I'd be happy for you two."
"Ditto. You'd be adorable together."
They sat side by side, wallowing quietly in how blind their prince was.
~~~
"Hey, let's get out of here."
Horatio had never grabbed his car keys so fast.
As they drove, he chose not to address how long it had been since they'd done this. Hamlet was drumming his fingers, an anxious habit that he hadn't quite quelled, and Horatio reached to intertwine their hands to calm him.
When the truck sputtered to a stop on the side of the road beside their usual field, Hamlet ran a hand through his hair.
"What is it?" Horatio asked.
Hamlet smiled wryly. "You know me too well." He paused, sighed. "I think I might be in love with Ophelia."
"Oh," said Horatio. "Aren't you dating Laertes?"
"We broke it off a while ago. Wasn't working."
Horatio nodded, wondering what else his friend hadn't told him. But, he thought with an internal grimace as his brain supplied him with the only reason he still hadn't sold his car, maybe keeping a secret or two is okay.
"Well. Congratulations."
Hamlet turned to him, brows furrowed. "What?
Horatio absent-mindedly traced his thumb over Hamlet's knuckle, thinking, It's fine, it's always been coming to this, really, and said, "You didn't hear it from me, but she's got a thing for you too. You should ask her out."
Hamlet's grin was blinding, and it was just for him. I'm the luckiest guy on the Lower East side...
~~~
The next time the prince wanted to go for a drive was several months later. They didn't even drive, just sat in the truck, because Hamlet's hand was on Horatio's wrist, stopping him from turning the key.
Finally, Hamlet swallowed, and reached into his pocket with his other hand to pull out a small, velvet box.
Horatio's immediate emotional response was the surge of love that made his blood thrum beneath his skin, but he remembered himself in time to tack a grin to the feeling.
"I'm going to ask her to marry me," Hamlet said, and Horatio heard I don't need you anymore.
"That's great," Horatio laughed, giving his friend a hearty pat on the back. His eyes welled with tears before he could stomp down the feeling.
"Hey, are you okay?" Hamlet asked, moving to cup Horatio's jaw to look into his eyes with concern.
"Yeah, yeah, 'm fine." The universal code for I'm-not-fine went right over the prince's head, as per usual. "Just- you're getting engaged, you know? That's a big deal. I didn't know you were that serious about her."
"Neither did I," Hamlet chuckled. "And I'm only getting engaged if she says yes. This isn't some medieval arranged courting, Ratio."
Horatio wondered if maybe the arranged system would be so bad. At least then he wouldn't have to deal with his stupid it's-just-a-mild-crush.
"Still. I'm happy for you. She's the luckiest girl alive."
"Thanks, man."
I've got wheels and you wanna go for a ride...
~~~
In spite of himself, Horatio grinned when Ophelia burst into his dorm, hair everywhere, absolutely beaming.
"He put a ring on it!" she squealed, and Horatio allowed her to pull him from his chair and waltz him around the room.
He wished it was only the second time he'd cried over the goddamn engagement.
But, unlike Hamlet, Ophelia recognized the biting of his lip for what it was. Her eyes went wide.
"Oh shit, I forgot-"
"That's a good thing. It doesn't really matter."
"Horatio, it does matter, he-"
"Stop it, Ophelia!"
Her voice died in her throat, but her mouth stayed agape, probably from shock. Horatio took a step back when she moved to embrace him, and then she stilled.
"It's okay," he choked. "He loves you. You love him, and he's so lucky for that. He doesn't love me. That's not your fault, it's not his, it's not anyone's. You're going to get married and all of Denmark is going to swoon and I'm going to give a fucking great best man speech because your fiancé deserves nothing less. You've got a love story right out of a fairy tale, and I'm sure as hell not letting you feel bad about that just because I went and fell in love with your prince first. You shouldn't feel bad for my stupidity, letting him lead me on, letting myself believe, and definitely not for thinking that the ring was for me for a split second, which I totally didn't do, and none of which should have been told to you. Fucking hell."
"...Horatio?"
"Don't. Please."
"It's not what you thi-"
"Please."
The day is beautiful and so are you
My car is ugly but then I'm ugly, too
I know you'd never give me a second glance
But when the weather's nice
All the other guys don't stand a chance...
Ha. I believed it once. Never again.
♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤
Boy howdy, pining Horatio is fun to write.
There's a companion piece that I might write later that's much less sad at the end, so watch out for that. I high-key love Ophelia in this and her friendly "Ham's so stupid, I'm in love with him" dynamic with Horatio makes me so happy.
And to think, Hamlet slept with all of these people in canon at least once...
Farewell until I again return to the land of the living, faeries. Your car might be ugly, but you definitely aren't.