It was a breezy summer day.
The sun was shining high above the clouds. I remember the pale wall with dark roof tiles enclosing from all sides. In front, there was a line of young girls dressed in plain robes. Although they were of low status like me, they made the effort to decorate their hair with simple pins and painted their faces with cheap stall powder and red lip stain.
I didn't care for it. For I knew where we were going, I didn't want to win any favors. I just wanted to live quietly and perhaps to then die without anyone noticing.
We had just arrived at this certain Wang Ye's Manor. Enlisting our lives to serve Wang Ye forever. I'd never met him. All I knew was that his father was the late Emperor, and his mother was the Honorable Consort who passed away when he was young. His brother had taken over the throne.
He was 15 at the time. Only 3 years older than me, yet our lives were completely different. Or maybe not so different considering we were both orphans.
The older man leading us suddenly stopped walking. We all halt our steps as well, and turned to face him as he slowly made his way to the center of the line, eyeing us up and down.
"This is the young Wang Ye's home. You will not be disorderly nor will you disobey any order given to you. Is that clear?" His high tone was unexpected. I would have confused him for a eunuch with such a shrill voice.
"Yes." All of us answered in unison.
"I'm Head Servant Song... You should address me as such. You've all been sold to this household, so your livelihood will depend on how well you serve Wang Ye. You must never approach Wang Ye without being directed to do so. You must not touch Wang Ye. You must..."
We listened in silence as he continued to warn us of how to live in Wang Ye's home. Honestly, what was so hard about it? We were servants and had to slave away day and night for not only Wang Ye but anyone else above the food chain. I just wanted get his lecturing over with.
The man finally shut his mouth, only for a moment but that short moment was bliss. He turned to someone approaching and smiled. He lowered his face and bowed politely to a young boy dressed in navy blue silk. The boy's hair was neatly combed with a silver adornment circulating the bun at the top of his head.
The young boy's brownish gray eyes were unlively. His high cheek bones were sharp and highlighted his slim face. The tip of his nose poked out aligning the height of the bridge just perfectly.
"Wang Ye." The old man greeted.
"Wang Ye." The others followed the old man in bowing. I quickly lower my head along with them.
That old man had a lot of rules about Wang Ye. Never approach Wang Ye, never touch Wang Ye... but he didn't say anything about admiring Wang Ye with just our eyes.
"These are the new maids?" Wang Ye did not seemed amused. Just being 15, his voice had already matured into a soft and low tone as chilling as the icy winter wind.
"Yes, Wang Ye. I was about to appoint two to take care of your personal needs and assign the rest to general duties."
Wang Ye turned to look at us from the corner of his eyes. Way too intimidating to have his eyes look straight at us. I look to the ground, wondering what was going to happen next.
Wang Ye's light steps guided him down the line. Peeking up, I saw that he wasn't even looking at any of the new servants, just kept his eyes to the front.
When he reached the end of the line, I cowered and tried to make myself small. Staring at his black shoes, I noticed the light embroidered designs on the cloth.
He said, "I just want her. No one else."
Looking where he was pointing, I silently gasped. His finger... was pointing right at my face.
Old Man Song laughed nervously. "Hehe, Wang Ye. This one... is no good. You see, she came with the rest but her health is not good and walks with a limp. I'm afraid she won't be able to live up to your expectations."
With hands behind his back, Wang Ye didn't want to listen to Old Man Song. He stared straight ahead without caring to respond.
Honestly, I was shocked Wang Ye only called me out. I already knew I would be at a disadvantage with such a weak body. I couldn't move as fast, couldn't walk normally, and couldn't lift heavy things. But this was my fate to be born of low status to a poor family. Through many sacrifices, I finally made it into a wealthy family's home. I never wished to live on the streets again.
The next thing Wang Ye said would become the words that I would always remember. The words that snuck into my heart and planted an attachment of improper longing.
"Even broken things have their use."
Wang Ye didn't care to say anything else and walked away. I couldn't help it but watch him leave. Even from just viewing his broad shoulders, my heart would thump wildly. Walking in the direction of the rising sun, Wang Ye's shadow composed his outline on the ground.
From that day on, I became a maid to serve Wang Ye along with Aunt Liu. She was the one who had taken care of Wang Ye since he was young. Only the two of us took care of matters for Wang Ye personally. Little by little, I learned about Wang Ye's preference and his temperament.
Wang Ye was a very well mannered young man, held scholarly intelligence. He never took his anger out on anyone in the manor. I'd never seen him angry. Just mostly sullen and detached, could never guess what was going on in his mind.
"Look at her carrying Wang Ye's clothes. Moving like a tortoise!" A maid whispered loudly as I slowly walked past her to the laundry pool.
Verbal attacks like this was normal. I heard it every day from the moment I could understand speech, even from my mother and father.
I gently placed the basket of laundry down on the ground. Reaching for a wooden spoon to scoop out clean water, someone else grabbed it before I could. I didn't want to argue and quietly made my way around the pool to the other side.
My limping wasn't too noticeable or at least I'd like to think so. However, since my weakness made it easier for others to pick at and feel better about themselves, it was something others constantly brought to my attention.
Don't be too prideful, you're only a cripple.
What dreams should you even have? What can a girl with bad health like you do?
Don't even think about getting married. What man could tolerate you for life?
I'd heard it all before. Often these were words I'd say to myself. Maybe when I was younger and much more naive, I'd thought about living a normal life with a doting husband. Now I realized that was impossible. I just stopped caring about useless things that wouldn't benefit me.
Giving my life to Wang Ye was already a wonderful fulfillment.
Reaching for a bobbing bucket, I leaned over the water. Suddenly, I was being lifted and thrown into the pool.
Are they trying to kill me?
The pool wasn't deep. When I finally held my balance, I stood on my feet and the water only reached a little above my waist. Coughing from having water entered my lungs, I wiped the blur away from my eyes.
I see a woman come in front the maids who threw me in the water.
"I've been serving Wang Ye long before you came. Don't act so proud just because you were picked to serve him directly. It doesn't mean anything."
Through the water dripping in front of my eyes, I could actually see that this maid was quite pretty. But her personality was vicious and unlikable.
I didn't say anything and stood in the cold water. It was going to be over soon anyway. They would say insults or hit me until they were satisfied. I always knew it would be over if I endured.
With her nose high in the air, the rest of the maids in her group leave the laundry area.
I climbed out of the pool and returned to my morning task of washing Wang Ye's robes. It was a nicer day, so I wanted to hang the clothes out to dry. Wang Ye could then wear clean clothes soon.
The next day I felt my body become even weaker. My head was heavy on my shoulders, my body ached and I felt nauseous. I didn't feel good, but I woke up early to start the day.
Wang Ye had to have breakfast. Warm rice and sides with plenty of meat. The cooks in the kitchen allowed me to make Wang Ye's meals. I had experience working in kitchens and didn't mind putting in the extra details to fit Wang Ye's preferences. Some dishes he liked bland, some he would prefer saltier, and sometimes he craved desserts that shouldn't be too sweet.
With shaking hands, I carried the tray of breakfast to Wang Ye's room. Aunt Liu rushed over to me.
"Chu Chu, you don't look so good. Let me bring the food to Wang Ye. You go rest, okay?"
"Aunt Liu, do I really look that bad?"
"Just a bit pale, dear. But you should rest until you feel better. I heard the others threw you into the freezing laundry pool yesterday. You must have caught a cold."
I don't want to ruin Wang Ye's appetite with my disheveled appearance...
I hand her the tray. "I'll have to trouble you to serve Wang Ye his breakfast then. I'm still new to the manor, I have to prove that I can work and serve Wang Ye. I'll go do my chores."
"Chu Chu! Chu Chu!" Aunt Liu called for me, but I ignore her and went off to work.
I had only been in Wang Ye's Manor for a couple of months. He chose me to serve him, and so I mustn't let him down. I didn't want the others to be right. I didn't want Wang Ye to be wrong in choosing me.
After a week of no rest, I really felt like dying. Breathing was unbearable. Carrying a set of firewood to the kitchen, my legs gave out and I fall to the ground. Scratching my knees and hands, I winced as I carefully pick up the wood.
Someone dark robes appeared in front of me. I look up and saw Wang Ye's blank face.
"Wang-- Wang Ye. This lowly apologize for the mess. This lowly will clear it right away."
He didn't say anything and walked off. A young man about Wang Ye's age knelt down and started helping me.
"My-- My lord?"
"Wang Ye sees that you've been working hard. You should go rest for the day, okay?" His voice was so soft, so tender like he didn't want to frighten me.
"But-- But..."
"You must not disobey Wang Ye's command."
He's right. I should not disobey Wang Ye.
"All right. I will leave now."
"Mm. Go."
I later found out that the young man who spoke to me was Wang Ye's good friend. He was the son of General Jin. I heard his father was ruthless and possessed the best militia brilliance. Young Master Jin was rather gentle and soft spoken. To me, he didn't seem to have developed any inclination for military duties.
Ten years passed by in Wang Ye's home.
I did my best to serve Wang Ye. He never did say anything to me in all those ten years, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that Wang Ye was happy and healthy.