Two months later...
I wake up feeling a sharp pain, something I know I shouldn't be feeling now. It's too early I'm still a few weeks away from the baby being born. I get up from the bed walking out of my room to my dad's when I feel it again. I lean against the wall waiting for the pain to stop. "Dad!" I yell out loud hoping he hears me and wakes up.
Not a minute later I see Haley rushing out of her bedroom along with my dad coming out of his room a few seconds later. "What's wrong?" he asks still half sleep.
"It hurts like really bad right now." I reply as I feel another sharp pain.
"Okay I'll call Doctor Brooke right now. Haley please help your brother to the couch. Don't worry Razor everything will be okay." he says.
"That's really funny I don't know how you can say that right now when I'm the one in pain." I reply.
"Just whatever you do don't push just breathe." he says before going to the kitchen.
"Oh thanks dad for reminding me when I've been trying to forget about what's going to happen when I have the baby." I shout back at him.
"You don't have to be mean Razor." Haley says helping me to the living room.
"I'm not being mean I'm in fucking pain Haley! Do you not understand how much this hurts? Not just that but how much it's going to hurt when things change down there." I reply.
"Oh you're just being dramatic Razor." she says as I sit down on the couch trying to keep my mind off the contractions.
"Me being dramatic? How is me complaining about how bad it hurts being dramatic?" I ask getting annoyed at her thinking I'm just being dramatic when I'm not.
"Guys always complain more than they have to. They are just big babies that can't handle a little pain." she says.
"You can't talk you never been in labor have you? No, so don't tell me I'm just being dramatic." I say as she helps me put my shoes on.
"Haley will you please stop arguing with your brother and help me get him to the car? The baby is early and Doctor Brooke wants us to get there as soon as we can." he says walking over to the couch to help me up.
"Why is something wrong?" I ask.
"No, why would you ask that?" he replies.
"You just made it seem like something's wrong." I say trying not to worry.
"No, nothing's wrong she just wants to make sure everything is fine because you're delivering the baby a few weeks early. You have nothing to worry about Razor I promise." he says as we walk outside to the car.
I take a sit in the back with Haley next to me feeling the most excruciating pain somewhere I rather not feel pain. "Ohh it hurts so bad." I say almost wanting to cry as my dad starts the car and pulls out of the driveway.
"Where?" Haley asks.
"It feels like everything is ripping apart. I want it just to stop, make it stop!" I yell.
"What's wrong?" she asks looking at me confused and worried.
"Everything is adjusting so the baby can be delivered. I know it hurts a lot right now Razor but it won't for that much longer. After the baby is born it will stop hurting and everything will return back to normal. You just have to breathe through the pain right now. We'll be there soon." my dad says.
***
Flashback:
I get up out of my bed knowing its past my bedtime and I'm supposed to be asleep but I can't. I open the door of the bedroom seeing the light from the tv still on. I walk into the living room seeing my mom sitting next to my dad on the couch watching a movie.
"What are you doing up?" my mom asks noticing me standing by the couch.
"I couldn't sleep mommy" I answer.
"Come here next to me and tell me why you can't sleep." she says reaching her arms out for me.
I sit on the couch next to my mom and ask, "Did you want me mommy when I was born?"
"Of course I wanted you, why would you ask me that?" she says holding me in her arms.
"I don't know because Haley said you didn't. She said the only reason you wanted me is because you had to." I say.
"That's not true Razor you should know that. Your daddy and I wanted the both of you so bad and we're glad we have you." she says in her soft sweet voice.
"Why did you want us so bad?" I ask confused.
"Darling, Daddy and I were trying to have a baby for years because we wanted a family. Then five years later the both of you came along. We were thrilled when we found out and I would never want it any other way. I can't imagine life without the both of you." she says.
"Why couldn't you have a baby?" I reply.
"Sometimes babies don't happen so quickly Razor they take time." she explains.
"Did it hurt mommy when you had me?" I ask.
"Oh yes it hurt very much just ask your dad but I think it was worth the pain." she says looking over at my dad.
"I know it was worth it." my dad says giving a smile.
***
I look into her hazel eyes knowing everything I went through for her to get here was worth it. All the pain, the morning sickness, thinking I was crazy and everything else because she's perfect. As I hold her in my arms nothing else matters right now. "She's beautiful Razor." Haley says sitting on the bed next to me.
"None of this felt real until now that she is actually here in my arms." I say as I continue to stare into her eyes.
"What are you going to name her?" Haley asks.
"I don't know I never thought about names before." I reply feeling a bit bad about never thinking of a name to give her.
"It doesn't matter for now whatever you name her will probably fit her. She looks like Lukas doesn't she?" she says causing me to see the resemblance and wish he was here. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you." she says trying to apologize.
"It's okay Haley I'm fine. I can't tell him can I?" I ask looking away from her and at our dad who is standing at the door.
"I don't know if we can trust him Razor. I thought you weren't talking to him anymore?" he replies.
"I haven't been since I tried telling him months ago. It's probably best not to anyway since I don't think he would ever believe me."
"Don't worry Razor you don't need him and neither does she. You have dad and I and that's all you need." she says trying to cheer me up.
"I know Charlotte and I will be just fine." I reply.
***
Five years later...
"Daddy where do babies come from and how are they made?" Charlotte asks as we sit on the couch watching a movie.
"If I tell you I want you to listen. Do you promise to listen and do as daddy says?" I ask.
She nods her head up and down excited to learn. "Babies are created when you are kissed which is why you are never to kiss anyone until you are older and you know you love the person. They come from right here." I say pointing to my stomach.
"Really?" she asks as curious as I was at her age.
"Yes, really Charlotte." I say.
"So is there a baby in your tummy right now?" she asks poking my stomach.
"Actually there is, you're baby brother is in my tummy right now which is why you should stop poking so hard." I reply seeing a huge smile appear across her face.
"Dad! Guess what?" she yells getting up from the couch as Travis walks inside the house.
"What?" he replies picking her up in his arms.
"Daddy has a baby inside of his tummy." she says.
"Oh he does?" he replies playing dumb.
"Uh huh it's a boy but is it really true babies are created from kissing someone?" she asks making Travis look over at me.
I shrug my shoulders knowing exactly what he's thinking. "Sometimes." he replies walking over to the couch to sit next to me. My mind wanders as they talk about where babies come from and the baby I'm carrying. Sometimes none of this feels real but it is.
A lot has happened in the past four years after I had Charlotte, things I never imagined. I never thought having Charlotte was possible but it was. I also never knew that I could be as happy as I am with Travis. We've been together since I had Charlotte and I couldn't be happier.
Flashback: Five years earlier
I hear a knock on my bedroom door, "What is it?" I ask through the door.
"Someone is here to visit you." my dad answers.
"Okay," I reply thinking immediately of Lukas but I know it wouldn't be him coming over.
My door opens and Travis walks in to my surprise flashing a smile at me. "Hey," I reply as I'm sitting on my bed holding Charlotte.
"I just wanted to come and visit. Haley told me you had the baby. So how are the both of you?" he asks walking into my room closing the door behind him.
"We're fine, everything's fine." I say.
"That's good, I just thought I would come and see." he says looking at Charlotte.
"You're not a good liar Travis. Why are you really here?" I reply seeing through his lie.
"Is it that obvious?" he asks walking over to the bed.
"Yeah it is." I say.
"I did come over to see you so I'm not totally lying but I came more because..." he says not finishing his sentence
"Because what?" I ask.
"You know how I told you once we turn eighteen we find our soul mate?" he asks reminding me of what he told me months ago.
"Yeah what about it?" I reply.
"I think I found mine." he says with a smile.
"Um I'm happy for you?" I reply not knowing if I should be happy or not because he found someone while I don't have anyone.
"Razor you don't understand do you?" he questions the smile disappearing,
"Understand that you found someone? Yeah I get it you found the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with and I'm happy for you. That's great for you what else do you want me to say?" I reply getting irritated that he has to rub it in my face that he has someone to be with.
"I want you to say you feel the same way. I want to ask you to be with me forever and know I'll never leave you. I know you feel the same way I do and I want you to know I'll raise Charlotte as mine. You don't have to worry Razor I would never do anything to hurt you or Charlotte. I knew I loved you since the minute I became friends with you but chose not to say anything until now. You felt the same didn't you, a connection to each other? What you felt was because we're soul mates and meant to be together forever. So what do you say Razor will you be with me?" he replies.
***
I admit I thought Travis was crazy the day he came over and told me he wanted to be with me. I didn't believe him or think it was even possible I could like him back. I told him he was being crazy but the more he started coming over to visit and spend time with Charlotte and I, I realized he wasn't. I started falling in love with him and I knew what he said was true. It didn't take very long for me to figure out the feeling he was talking about that he felt towards me when we were around each other. A feeling I felt when I was only around him that brought me closer to him.
From a young age I always told myself I would never kiss a boy or love a boy like my mom talked about when I was younger but I was wrong. I was lying to myself because I didn't want to admit I could or did for that matter. Being different from the normal scared me, freaked me out but none of that matters anymore. I've learned to accept myself because I'm not different in a bad way. I'm actually quite special being born being able to have kids like many others born this way. Nothing about me is normal and that's what I like.
A lot of people wouldn't understand what we are or who we are which is why we want to keep it this way. The less people that know our kind exist the better it will be. I still haven't spoken to Lukas since the day I told him I was pregnant and he didn't believe me. I know now there was no point in even telling him when he would think I was crazy. I gave up on the idea that we could ever be friends once Charlotte was born. Even if I wanted to tell him about Charlotte now I know it would only risk our safety more than anything else. We don't need Lukas in our life anyway because we have Travis. I'm sure Lukas is fine without us where ever he is now, doing whatever he is doing. I know I am and that's all I can ask for.