"Tell me your secret and I'll tell you mine." ( I have no idea where this line came out from😊. Anywayyy.)
A year and six months later.
Harry's POV.
I have only one secret and it has reduced my relationship with my family. My identity changed the very first day I noticed it. I told my older brother about it and I could tell he was totally shocked to hear such news. He didn't know that his own sibling felt that way about himself, I didn't blame him. After all, I kept it for so long away from my family and loved ones.
At first, I had this strong feeling that something was wrong somewhere but I shoved that thought away and went about my normal life doing normal teenage stuff. June 23rd 2017, I became a man that I couldn't control. I saw myself battling with the worst nightmare of my life at that time. My parents, friends, and even my sister had no single idea of what I was facing inside, the thing was already killing me.
I found out that I am always comfortable staying in the midst of guys, as for girls, I lose my composure every damn time. It looked normal at first until I tried kissing a guy at the park and confessed my love to him. The guy was from my neighborhood, about three houses away from mine at that time. He was about year or two years older than me. Shocker, I know.
We went about our normal lives and tried to forget the mistake that happened until one day, my dad invited his dad over, since we're the same age grade, my dad requested for him to keep me company.
We both said an awkward hello before my dad forced me to show him my room. Like I'm a girl. I actually did show him my room.
"It's East. Yours?" He reached out for a handshake.
"Cameron Davson. You can call me Harry. My friends call me that." I reply the handshake.
"Oh, More like a nickname huh?" He asked.
"Er. . .No. Harry is actually part of my names. My dad just calls me Cameron most times, that's why."
"Oh. Nice."
"Yeah." I slide my hands into my front pocket.
"You've got a nice room though." He scans through my blue painted room with wall pictures, my guitar lying at a place and a welcome rug in front of the room. Very simple room. Typical teenage room.
"Thanks." I reply awkwardly then looked away.
"So, about what happened last time--" he just had to bring it up.
"It was probably a--" he cuts me off.
"I kinda liked it actually. Welcome to the club brother." He pats my back and sits comfortably on my bed.
"what do you mean? What club are you talking about?" I shoot a confused look, obviously waiting for an explanation.
"You don't know what I mean? C'mon dude." I shake my head in the negative direction.
"It's so simple. You're guy, so am I." I froze immediately. How did he know that?
"Dude, it's pretty obvious here. You wanted to kiss me at the park. Face it, you're gay. Don't be shy. Okay, It's fine to be shy. You'll get used to it with time." The last part sunk in. Always shy. Not bold to face it. Used to it.
I. Am. Truly. Gay.
The remaining hours I spent with East was a bit awkward for me because we had to go on and on about sexuality and the likes. He made me realize that, it doesn't matter. A lot of people are gay and they can be accepted. I liked the way he encouraged me, it made me feel good about myself. The only thing is, How will I face my family to tell them the big news? Will it be a problem for them to handle?
My mind drifted back and forth, trying to imagine their reaction when it suddenly blows up on their faces. I mean, my brother knows about it so he's already sorted out. My dad doesn't. I'm pretty sure he is hoping for me to get a girl and be with her for the rest of my life when it is the opposite of that I want.
I have to tell him, today.
"So, how is your relationship with East? A very nice guy, isn't he?" My dad says calmly while reading news from his phone. I admire the old man, raising all of us alone as one big family.
I clear my throat. "Yeah, Yeah, he is okay."
"Ah, Good. I bet you both talked about your guy shit with each other then. Those days." He looks up to the imaginary cloud or something.
"Well, yes, yes." I feel a bit agitated. My palms became sweaty in ten seconds. I was counting.
"Good to hear that boy. Any plans tonight? You don't wanna hang out or something?"
"Today, Nope. I'm tired."
"Rest well then." His eyes were buried in his phone again.
"Dad, I have something important to discuss with you." My dad looks up to me.
"I thought as much. You were answering me like you're in some kind of competition or something. Come and sit with me, what is it?"
"It's ... Dad, I've been with this my whole life. I didn't wanna tell you because I didn't know how you'll take it." I rub my hands together.
"You don't have some kind of disease, Do you?"
"What? No! I'm totally normal and fine." I jerk backwards when he said that.
"Oh, goodness me. I thought I was gonna lose my son to STD like my friend lost his. I thank God that's not happening." He breathes out in relief.
"Seriously? Of all things to think about your son, it's STD?! Anyway, I just wanna say I'm truly sorry for not bringing this up earlier. It wasn't my intention to keep it all by myself for the rest of my life because some day, you and the rest of the family will need to know about me, my life, at least a greater part of their son."
"Okay?" My dad leans closer. Staring at me straight in the eye.
"I'm gay." I dropped it on him, avoiding his face.
"Is that all?"
Yeah. Wait, what?
"I mean, my instinct silently told me that my son is broken and I just realized that this is what broke my son. It's something I kind of expected. You know, I watch all of you my kids. I know each and every one of you from start to finish. I know those who need help, those who can get help on their own and those who are independent, decision makers," he paused to clean a few tears running down his cheeks. "My main point is, I'll always support my children no matter what. Whatever people say is none of our business. It shouldn't even bother us at all. You stay strong. Man up and do what you feel is best for you."
"Dad--" my eyes became watery as I pull him for a hug.
"I'm proud of you son, I really am. I'll inform your siblings about the news, they'll understand."
"Thanks. Thank you dad."
* * *
"Yo! How are you guys doing today?" I sit on the available seat in the bar. We all came to hang out after stressful school hours. A getaway weekend is the best to cool our overworked brains.
"I'm good."
"Same."
"Stressed out." All of them chorused.
"Ah, nice. Rubie, it's so good to see you coming to hang. I'm impressed." I smirk, take a bottle of coke from the table and drink from it.
"Dude, that's mine." Link frowns.
"I know." I grin.
"Why is it a shock to you? I'm fun too, you know?" She replies back.
"Oh, It's-- you're always kinda--"
"She has changed now. Let's all forget about the Martinez of that time." Joe, Aka her boyfriend answers for her. He takes hold of her hand.
"If you say so," I turn my attention to Beck. "B, how are you?"
He smiles shyly. "Thought you'll never ask. I'm just there, like everyone said, stressed out."
"Ah, I see. Thanks to you guys for this. Trust me, it's a good one."
"Yeah, yeah." Beck replies.
"So, I was thinking, why don't we all go to a game center. We can teach the girls though." Drew adds.
"Brilliant idea."
"Well done Drew."
"Drew, I told you I can't play, neither can Jodie." Rubie says.
"Yeah, I know. That is why WE are all going there, you guys have to learn how to play games." Drew retorts.
"Okay." Rubie bits her lower lip, agreeing.
"I brought my dad's car. How bout you guys?"
"I brought mine with Vin and Jodie. Beck came with Drew in Link's truck." Joe says.
"Great. Why don't we use two cars instead. I'll leave mine nearby and go in Link's truck." I say.
"Good idea." Joe answers.
"Em. . .Have you guys payed for the meal?" I ask.
"Of course. We can't eat without paying." Vin says.
I laugh. "Oh, okay then. Let's get going guys."
Vin grabs Jodie's hand. Joe, Rubie's. Drew and Link walk out separately, leaving me with Beck.
"Let's go, you." I smile and walk outside with him.
"Really? An arcade? Just great." Was the tone Jodie gave for the first time, today."
"I thought you were taking us to some classy game center or something." Rubie adds, frowning her face when we all walk in.
"Oh. I thought I told you both that my Jeff is my dad and he can afford everything." Drew folds his arms and i copy him.
"Jeff who now?" Jodie asks, locking her hands into Vin's.
"Jeff Bezos. You both don't know him?" He grins and they all roll their eyes.
"Haha, very funny." Rubie pokes him and they laugh.
"So, beautiful couples," I rub my hands together. "Let the fun begin!"
"Em, hello? We're all not a couple." Link says.
"Whatever. We have two couples here and that leaves the rest of us."
"Okay." He surrenders.
"Let's split, I'll go with Beck and y'all can find the game you wanna play." I suggest for the crew.
"Nice plan, Harry." Beck beams and I nod.
"Sounds good to me. I'll take Jodie with me to teach her a few games then we'll catch up with you guys on this spot." Vin chimes in.
"Alright, I'm going with my girlfriend." Joe gets hold of Rubie's hand and they disappear into the crowd. Same went for the others, leaving Beck and I.
"So, what do we play?" I ask.
"Anything is fine, man. This place took me by surprise, so--"
"Uhm. . . Have you told them yet?" I ask nervously.
"Told them what? that we're both gay? Nope." He shrugs. We didn't play any game after all. We just sat somewhere to talk.
"Your family knows about it, am I right?"
"My old man doesn't, only my mom that kind of has the feeling about me."
"Oh." I mutter.
"How 'bout you, do your parents know about it?"
"Yeah," I'm actually grateful for that. "I told my dad few years ago and my sibs know too."
"Lucky you huh?" His face fell.
"Hey, it's not that bad. Let's embrace our sexuality the way it is. I had a plan of telling our friends today. They need to know about us."
"Are you sure about that? 'cause I don't know how they're gonna see it. Vin has a girlfriend, Joe does too. Link and Drew obviously like girls, We're the odd ones here. Can't you see?" His expression read many things. Frustration, fear, others I couldn't really place.
"Look, my dad made me realize that it doesn't matter. You can still lift your head high and go about your daily activities."
"You see what I like about you, your spirit. It gingers me. I like that." He smirks.
"Come here," I pull him for a hug that lasted for a long time then I kiss him on the cheek.
"Let's tell the guys. We've stayed long here." He suggests and I agree.
We found Drew and Link chilling outside the building. They looked tired and bored. All of us went in search of the others until we finally become complete.
"What's up guys? I had lots of fun!" Rubie says with an enthusiastic feeling.
"Aw, you see, games will not kill you if you play them." I tell her.
"You can say that again." She replies.
"Guys, let's sit." I point to the empty chairs inside. They all look at me with eyes full of questions.
"We're sitting. Is there something wrong?" Joe says, pulling out his phone from his back pocket before sitting down.
"Not wrong, wrong. We just wanted to make it official between us." I take hold of Beck's hand smiling at all if them.
"I think I know where this is going." Drew, the one that annoyingly figures out everything speaks.
"Shut up. As I was saying, Beck and I have something to say to you guys."
"We're waiting." Vin answers.
"We are a couple now." I finally say what is on my mind.
"Hallelujah! I saw it coming but somebody had to shut me up." He stares at me coldly.
"This calls for celebration then. I'm proud of you both." Joe hugs us and we both smile.
"Guys, I'm starving. Can we go?" Link calls us together.
I guess standing up for yourself is actually the best thing to do. I don't need to be ashamed because of what people might say. It's my life and that should be my number one focus.
A/n; Phew, what a chapter. I had to write something and here we are. I know this wasn't what you expected but, I know I tried here. If you didn't sense something "Fishy" about Harry, then it's my fault somehow. I should have given a hint about his relationship.
The words in italics is about his past and how he opened up to his Father.
Let me tell you this; It's okay to feel afraid or scared to tell people who you really are. What matters the most is that you are happy with yourself and your family support you in everything you do. Embrace yourself for who you really are. Don't allow anyone dictate for you, make your own decisions (good ones though.) and everything will turn out good at the end.
We're slowly concluding part one of this book guys! I'll still Edit this chapter when I have the time. Do share your thoughts, I want to know what you think about this book. . . vote too.
Till next time.