Here is the update that took forever! Thank you all so much for being patient with me- This was my first semester in college so things got kind of hectic. Since my last update, this story has really begun to gain some traction and I just want all of you to know that I see you and I appreciate you. I've received some great support from you all.
Next update should be Friday (or earlier- I'm hoping earlier)! Let me know in the comments what you think of the relationship development between Caleb and Red!
Chapter 18
"Soph, if Caleb comes by can you tell him that I'm running errands and I probably won't be back for a while?" I pulled my rain coat on and switched out my heels for some ankle rain boots.
"Sure, is there trouble in paradise?"
"Not really. It was just the other night... things were a little tense so I don't really want to..."
"I get it. I'll cover you."
I hadn't been brave enough to text Caleb back or tell him how much his behavior two nights ago did scare me. I knew I should've just let him know that I wasn't around for our usual Tuesday lunch, but I... well I didn't really have an excuse.
I'm just a coward.
I pulled my red hair back into a low ponytail and then pulled the hood over my head. I told Sophia I'd be back in an hour and then braved the heavy rain to go get lunch at that café owned by the older couple I had me a few months prior.
I spent my full hour lunch break there, with my phone neatly tucked away in my bag and on silent. I didn't want to know if Caleb was texting or calling me. I'd deal with that later.
I saw their police car parked outside of the office, so even though my break was over, I circled back and ducked inside of a pharmacy and bought some gum and socks. I stayed in there as long as I could and then dared to duck back out into the rain.
The car was gone.
But on my way home from work that night, right before I was about to pull off the highway, I saw flashing lights behind me.
I pulled over quickly, knowing how badly things could go if I didn't.
I stood against the passenger's side door, staring at my boots, and kicking gently at little pebbles so that they'd fall into a nearby puddle with a small drop sound. It had stopped raining, but the ground had absorbed it all like a sponge and a thick humidity remained in the air.
I heard his feet crunch against the gravel but I didn't look up at him.
"Hi." He said to me quietly.
"Hi." I said.
"I thought we were going to have lunch today." He took a step closer to me so that his own boots appeared in my line of vision.
"I'm really sorry, I forgot. I just had some errands to run."
"No you didn't."
I looked up at him. He had on his long sleeved uniform, but his cap wasn't on. He looked tired. Upon seeing the dark circles under his eyes, I immediately felt guilty for behaving so childishly and putting more on his plate.
"I know, I'm sorry." I said.
"I don't want you to apologize to me, I want you to tell me what's going on." He leaned down toward me so our conversation was more intimate.
I hesitated.
"It's about what happened on Sunday, isn't it?" He let out a sad sigh. "I really scared you."
I hesitated again, but that time he didn't fill the silence. He waited for my response patiently.
"Umm, yeah."
"I'm so sorry, Red. I just... it's my temper. But I've been working on it, I really have been."
"Thanks, it's fine, it really is. I just overreacted. We're fine." I shrugged.
"It isn't fine, Red. You've been avoiding me, not answering my calls or texts, hiding from me at lunch- obviously it isn't fine."
I didn't know what he wanted me to say.
"I'm sorry, I won't do that anymore."
"Red, if you're scared of me, if I do something that makes you mad or upset in any way, please just talk to me about it. I really want this to work." He begged me. I wanted to look away from him and back at my boots, but his eyes were so desperate, so captivating.
"Ok I will."
"Do you promise?" He stuck his pinky finger out to me, and I gave him my pinky too, so that he could wrap his around mine.
"Yeah I promise."
"Do you need some time and space?" He asked me. "You can text me when you're ready."
"Ok." I nodded.
"And Red, I'm sorry that my temper scares you. I'm so sorry that you think I'd ever hurt you. Because I wouldn't- I know I don't have a great track record, but I swear to you I'd never ever hurt you." His low voice was so soft, I could hear how hurt he was.
I felt terrible.
It wasn't his fault at all that I felt so scared. He hadn't given me a reason to fear him... recently. But I couldn't tell him any of that.
Because I'm a coward.
I texted him that night, I didn't need space any more. I wanted to see him.
So the next morning when I showed up to work, he was standing outside the entrance in his uniform, with a paper bag in one hand and a coffee cup in the other.
"Tea and croissant." He explained with a smile as I unlocked the door to the office.
"Thank you." I returned his smile.
"I can't hangout now, but if you're free for dinner tonight, my shift ends at 8, so I can bring pizza over to you."
"Yeah, I'd love that." I nodded.
"Great." He leaned down to give me a small kiss, handed me the breakfast he grabbed for me, and then disappeared around the corner.
The day went slowly, but it did pass eventually. And I was home in my pajamas before I even knew it. Caleb knocked on my door not long after. I answered it quickly, and ushered him in, he gave me a quick kiss on the lips and then disappeared into my kitchen with the pizza
I followed him in there and pulled two plates out. He served me a slice, and then sat down next to me at the table.
I thought it'd be awkward because of the tension between us, but we easily fell into an easy discussion. And we even ended the night snuggling and kissing on the couch.
On Thursday, I spent the day worrying that Caleb wouldn't come because of the way I had stood him up two days earlier.
But he appeared with a broad smile and some Thai take-out.
"I made walnut brownies for after lunch," I said to him as he started to set all of the food up. He looked at me, and then down at the Tupperware container I placed on the table.
"Wait- It's for after lunch!" I protested when he began pulling at the lid.
"Live a little," he raised his eyebrow at me as he popped a brownie in his mouth. "Jesus fucking Christ, Red, these are delicious." He moaned out. I rolled my eyes and took one of the Thai food containers. We munched away quietly for a few minutes, until I asked Caleb about his day and then he started off on some story about how Marcus was no help when this man they pulled over became hostile.
"Caleb you really need to be careful. Th-that makes me very nervous." I said to him.
"Sweetheart, do not worry about me. I can take care of myself." He assured me with a smile.
"Yeah but what if he had a gun, or what if-"
"Red, they train us for these things. Please relax." He waved me off as if I were being dramatic to worry about him- but someone attacked him that very morning and he seemed so calm!
"But I-" I cut myself off. He was grinning at me. "What?"
"You're cute when you worry."
I didn't say anything to him and focused back on eating.
But he spoke after a few moments of silence.
"I am careful, I promise."
I nodded at him appreciatively.
"I want to show you something." I fished around in my bag on the floor. I pulled out a little envelope, which I had shoved in there that morning.
"What's this?"
"Well, you said that we've been together for two months now, but I've barely shared anything about myself and I- well, I don't have much to say about my parents but I thought that maybe I can share my grandmother with you." I shuffled in my chair.
He took the envelope from me carefully and opened it, pulling out a photograph.
"Is this her- your grandmother?" He examined the photograph carefully.
"Yes, ten years ago when she first started letting me bake with her."
"And this little girl is you? I can tell by the hair."
"Yes." Her friend Thelma had taken the photo for us.
"You look so tired!" He smiled at me and looked back down at the photo.
"Oh I think it was the lighting." Or the two black eyes my father had given me five days before the photo was taken. The bruises had healed well enough at that time that it did just look like I hadn't slept well.
"You were such a skinny little thing..."
"I was eight!" I defended myself.
"Is that..." he squinted his eyes at the picture. "Is your arm in a cast?"
"oh yeah, I fell." I shrugged my shoulders. I had remembered that broken arm really well. I had been looking at my father's record collection and got fingerprints on his Beach Boys record. He twisted my arm behind back at such an angle that it broke part of my radius.
"Fuck, Red. You were so cute." He grinned at me. "And you look a lot like your Grandmother." He added in.
I stared at him with wide eyes.
"Really?"
"Yeah, of course. Look, you have the same round face as her. And the cheek bones. Even your eyes- do you see what I'm talking about?" He tilted the photo toward me so that I could see it. I analyzed the photo, examining the features he had pointed out.
I could see it.
I looked like her.
I couldn't help the big grin that crossed my features.
"What are you smiling about?" I felt Caleb nudge my shoulder with his.
"Thanks for saying that I look like her. That means a lot to me."
He just smiled back.