Four Months Later
With your hands full of grocery bags you slug up the front path to your house. You're just putting down the bags to open the door when it in fact cracks open itself and you find Isla waiting there for you.
"Mummyyyy," she says hesitantly.
"Hey sweetie." You sigh as you stand up straight again and make your way inside. "Thanks for that. Where's dad?"
"He hit his head," she says concerned.
"Wait what?" You frown as you think about what she just said. "What do you mean? Where is he? Is he alright? How badly?"
She looks at you like she thinks she's in trouble even though of course she's not, you're just confused.
"I'm here." A masculine voice states flatly and you look up to see Bucky waving his hand over the back of the couch.
You cross over to him to find him laying there holding a pack of frozen peas to his head.
"What the hell did you do? Are you okay?" You can't help but chuckle now that you've seen him.
He looks up at you dopily.
"He ran into the door." Isla giggles, coming slipping over to be in front of him now that she has seen how you've reacted.
"How did you manage that one?" You laugh.
"I don't know." He furrows his brow. "I had one of those stupid headaches I was getting a while back and I felt real dizzy and I think I just stumbled into the door because I couldn't see properly."
Okay. Well that doesn't sound so funny anymore. Worry starts to form in your gut.
"You haven't had one of those in ages." You mumble as you stroke his forehead in concern. "Let me see?"
He lifts the ice pack to reveal a nicely forming blue and purple egg off to the left side of his forehead.
"Jesus buck how hard did you hit it?!" You exclaim.
"He passed out." Isla continues to laugh clearly not seeing that it's actually serious again.
"What?!" You exclaim.
"I slapped his cheek and he woke up." She laughs even louder. "Then I went and got him the frozen peas and helped him to the couch."
Looking at Bucky's size compared to Isla you know that there's no way she helped him up, but it's the thought that counts.
"Did you pass out from the headache or from hitting your head?!" You turn to Bucky.
He frowns and hesitates, unsure of his answer.
"Um... I don't know." He eventually manages.
"Oh buck." You sigh and frown at him worriedly. "Do you feel okay now?"
"I mean yeah, besides the sore head." He shrugs.
"Where are the others? How long have you been lying here for?" You ask.
He looks up at you clearly taken aback that you don't seem more concerned about his head, but just in an I-want-attention way, not a serious way even though you're starting to feel like this thing might be serious.
"Sorry, I am concerned about you and I will tend to you in a minute, but we have four other kids in this household, three of which are under four and one of which I really don't know what's happening with him anymore these days." You state causing him to chuckle.
Things with Luke haven't necessarily been as bad as they were those first few days after the fight but now it's just like he's gone full blown awful teenager mode... like as awful as you can imagine. The worst part is he's only thirteen so you feel like it's only going to get worse. He now does sneak out quite frequently, sleeps until after midday, hardly comes out of his room, skips dinner, talks back or ignores you guys, you've had phone calls about him skipping school and he doesn't offer to help with a single thing anymore which is completely uncharacteristic of him. You just don't know what the hell has happened to him. You hardly see Petra around anymore and when you do you can tell she's fed up with his behaviour too. She doesn't seem to have changed at all but he's gone all bad boy; not the boy that she fell for and to be honest he's lucky she's hanging around, she must really like him.
"I know." Bucky laughs. "The twins and Theo are all down for a nap, and to be honest, who knows where that boy is, he seems to be taking perfectly okay care of himself... whatever it is that he does to do that."
Even though Bucky is not Luke's birth father so in a way doesn't have a right to say that, you completely agree with him. And he's been far more of a father than anyone else in his life has been to him, and a good one at that. He's been there right from the start as if he was one so quite frankly he has as much say as you do in parenting decisions. You both have sort of given up on trying to keep Luke in check because every time you say anything to him it just causes more tension if not a fight, so you kind of just leave him be, and when he's having a good day you go along with it.
Besides the Luke drama your guys lives have been relatively mellow these last few months, just settling into the new house, watching the twins grow - you were starting to see a few advances in Lilly compared to Blue for a while then, she was walking well before him and stringing a few words together whereas he was just stating one word sentences and pointing until not that long ago but now they are back on the same sort of level.
There has actually been a sort of dead patch, you guess you could call it, in terms of missions for Bucky and Steve lately which is kind of ironic when you think about the fact that they just hired too new people to work and help out since things were really taking off. But it's been good in the fact that Steve and Bucky have been able to use the time to really get back to their absolute bet physical form and peak fitness after both of their recent serious injuries. It's also given them the chance to really get to know Sam and Natasha and now they're all working together really well as a tightly knit group by the sounds of it.
"Okay, I'll go check on them and then tend to you. We need to make sure that you don't have a big bruised lump on your head for the Mayor's Gala on Friday night." You sigh as you walk over to the table to put the groceries down. "Isla sweetie, since you seem to be the only one in this house who can take proper care of themselves," you say teasingly. "Can I get you anything?"
A cheeky grin crosses her face. "Can I have a lollipop from the treat jar?"
You can't help but melt at the hopeful look on her face. "Okay, I suppose so since you were so good at helping daddy."
"Yay!" She exclaims as you go to the pantry to get her treat.
"Do we have to go to that thing?" Bucky groans form the couch, seemingly a few seconds behind in the conversation.
"How hard did you hit your head Buck?" You repeat. "Of course we have to go! The whole thing is practically in honour of you and Steve."
The mayor is having his big fancy annual dinner at the end of the week to congratulate and give recognition to all the hard working citizens in Brooklyn belonging to things such as the police force, hospital staff and fire brigades.
"No it's not." He shoots back.
"You are literally called the guests of honour. I think you are." You point out.
"But it's not all about us. We're just... important."
"Exactly. Important enough for you to have to go." You put your hands on your hips and look at him sternly, going back into his line of view. "Now stop acting like a baby and let me go check on the children and then it'll actually be your turn to get treated like a baby."
He smiles at you cheekily. "Sorry mum." He blurts out.
At this you roll your eyes and do your rounds to check on the others. The younger three are all still asleep and Luke isn't home, not that he ever is anymore anyway.
Once you've seen to the kids you go back to tend to Bucky but stop in the doorway at what you see.
"There you go daddy. All better." Isla whispers softly as she adjusts the ice pack on her fathers head and gently pats it.
Bucky lays there smiling up at her adoringly making your heart melt. His metal hand rests loosely around her back, holding her close to him.
"Well it seems you're all looked after them. Guess you don't need my help." You huff as you walk in fully.
"You know, although Isla's kisses and special treatment make me feel a lot better, I also think a kiss from mummy would really help me too." He looks at you with puppy dog eyes which of course draw you right in so that you give him exactly what he wants.
"Do you think you're concussed or anything?" You ask him as you pull away.
He shakes his head. "I really didn't hit it that hard."
"But you passed out." You raise an eyebrow.
He hesitates. You can tell he thinks something is off too but wants to deny it. Every time you guys seem to get a good run something bad comes along and ruins it.
In the end he just shrugs. "I'm sure it's fine. I'll be all better by tomorrow morning."
Day of the Mayor's Gala:
"Buck hurry up! Steve and Peggy will be here soon and I still need to get ready too!" You shout down the hall towards your room. "Theo, please, you're just going to have to play by yourself this evening bub. Maybe you can convince Bella, the girl who is coming to babysit you to play with you once she's here. Isla! I hope you're homework is finished or nearly finished!" You rush around frantically organising everything but yourself - the one who actually really needs to be ready.
Everyone seems to be in the mood to disagree with you tonight. Theo who is often fine with playing by himself wants all of the attention to be on him, Isla doesn't want to do her homework, the twins are refusing their food and Luke hasn't even showed up home since school finished.
"Do we really have to go to this thing?" You here Bucky grumble from your guys bedroom down the hall.
"Yes of course we do!" You state. "If anyone out of us has an excuse not to go it is Peggy who looks like she's just about ready to pop. But I haven't heard her complaining. So we are going Buck! We don't need to stay late."
"Ugh, fine."
"But Luke isn't doing his! You never make Luke do his!" Isla protests to her homework grumpily.
"That's because I can't be bothered with the fights that argument would cause sweetie. Now please don't be like him and just get on with it." You huff as you lift a spoonful of mushed pears into Blue's mouth.
"Finnnne." She groans and dramatically flops down over her book where she sits up at the dinner table.
"Mummy look!" Theo exclaims and holds up his toy dinosaur for you to see.
"Yes sweetie that's great," you say as enthusiastically as you can manage.
"Mmm, no!" Lilly shakes her head and screws up her face as you try to give her a spoonful of pears.
"Lilly please! I don't want you to be hungry when the babysitter is here." You beg with the nine month old.
You are having one of your mum friend's from schools older daughters come and babysit for you tonight since everyone is going to this event and it's definitely not kid friendly. It's the first time you've gotten a babysitter so even though you know that she's a nice girl you're a little nervous as to what could go wrong. And the rate at which these kids are acting up tonight it could be a disaster and it might scare her away.
"James please! How long does it take you to throw on your suit?!" You shout down the hall.
Seriously, the one time you need him to go fast and he takes forever.
"Sorry doll, I'm here," he says weakly from behind you and you turn around to see him hunched against the doorway.
"You okay?" You frown at him.
He closes his eyes and cringes.
"Headache." He mutters under his breath.
"You better not be saying that just so that you can get out of going." You state.
He has been going on all week about how he doesn't want to go. He hates being the centre of attention, it makes him nervous nowadays.
"I promise I'm not. I'm fine. Here, you go get ready I'll deal with the kids." He mumbles and shuffled over to you.
The fact that he tells you that he's fine rather than carrying on and also the fact that now that you look at him properly he really does look kind of sick; pale with dark circles under his eyes and a clammy forehead. At least any evidence of him hitting his head the other day is gone. Besides his I'll appearance he looks very dapper though. His suit is trim and crisp, tailored perfectly at every single place, his bow tie perfectly symmetrical and straight and his curly locks smoothed down with gel.
"Okay. Thanks," you say hesitantly as you get up to leave, unsure if you want to leave him with the kids now.
You get yourself ready much quicker than you had anticipated and hoped on but you're still happy with how you look. A sleek black off the shoulder silk dress down to the floor, shiny black heals, hair pinned back in curls, winged eyeliner and red lipstick. Quite striking if you do say so yourself.
When you walk back out to where everyone else is it seems to be a completely different atmosphere to before. It's quiet, and peaceful. Theo is playing happily by himself, Isla has her head down doing her homework and the twins are giggling away and eating every spoonful as their dad flies the airplane into their little gobs.
Seriously, you don't know what it is but Bucky just seems to have a magical way with the kids. The calm after your storm you guess.
"Seriously? How do you do that?!" You exclaim in annoyance.
He just looks at you, grins innocently, and shrugs.
"Why don't you guys ever behave like that for me?" You turn to Isla.
She gives you an identical look as Bucky did.
"Daddy's scarier."
"What?!" Bucky exclaims seemingly offended. "You can't tell me that I'm scarier than the mummy monster!"
She just giggles innocently.
"I don't even try to be scary." He shakes his head in disbelief.
"Neither do i!" You blurt out. "Do you just like to wind me up or something?"
She just giggles even more and nods cheekily.
"Oh Isla!" You laugh in disbelief. "Next time you want a lollipop you won't be getting one because of that." You tease.
"Mummy no!" She wines lightheartedly. "Pleeease!"
"I must say doll, for the mummy monster, you look absolutely stunning tonight." Bucky smirks and stands up, resting his hands on your hips and leaning in to softly kiss you.
"You look like a royal princess." Isla agrees.
"Thanks guys." You smile at them both.
"What do you think Theo? Doesn't your mum look nice?" Bucky asks him.
He turns around and nods eagerly. "Mummy looks very pretty."
You blush and are about to reply again but are interrupted by the door opening. You look up to see Luke walking in looking like he hasn't slept all week, holding Petra's hand and dragging her inside after him. He looks disgusting if you do say so yourself. His hair is dank and greasy and he's unfortunate in the fact that he's starting to get bad pimply teenager skin but the issue is that he doesn't try to do anything for it so he just has an oily, grimy looking face, dark circles under his eyes which also lost their usual spark because he looks so exhausted from all the late nights and sneaking around he's been doing, and clothes that also look like he has warn them all week and they haven't been washed; his white shirt is now a yellowy-cream tinge and his brown pants have various stains on them. Long story short, god only knows what him and those new friends of his get up to when they're together and he also seems to have forgotten how to take care of himself.
He goes to walk through without even looking at you guys.
"Oh hi Petra!" You day cheerily, surprised and glad to see her cute, happy little face after a long while.
"Hi Mrs Barnes," she says back rather sheepishly.
The poor girl probably feels a little awkward being here. She hasn't seen you guys in a while and knows that Luke is always in trouble nowadays too.
"Are you staying the night? I'm afraid we're about to head out and won't be here for most of the night sorry. There's a baby sitter coming though and I'm sure she'd be happy for you to stay around. It's not like you're any trouble." You offer kindly.
Of course you hold nothing against her. It's not her fault that your son had turned into a right little asshole. She's just unfortunate enough to be a lovesick little angel who's still set on following him around, probably desperately hoping that it'll all be fine. Much like you were with Jake. You are just praying that Luke doesn't continue down that same path as his birth father did. But he's seeming a lot worse already a lot younger. You also don't know how much longer Petra will stick around and put up with it. Not that you want her too, you can't blame her and don't want her being dragged into Luke's mess. You just like her a lot.
Luke stops on his mission to get straight to his room and huffs, turning to you and giving you a filthy look, clearly annoyed that you are starting a conversation with his girlfriend since it inconveniences him. Excuse you for trying to be polite huh?
You give him an overly friendly smile.
"I-oh, yes I was if that's alright?" Petra's eyes light up.
"Petra!" Isla exclaims and goes running over to her to give her a big hug. "I missed you so much! Can you do my hair in those pretty braides for my like you used to do?" Please!"
"Isla!" Luke groans and rolls his eyes.
"Of course I can Isla." Petra shoots Luke a stern look before turning back to Isla and smiles at her and hugs her back. "I missed you too."
Good. Obviously she can hold her own against him.
"Of course your can stay here Petra. You're always welcome here. It's great to see you." You smile at her. "Did you guys want anything to eat? I can make you something quickly before we go? There's pasta on the stove?"
"We're fine mum." Luke rolls his eyes and moans, taking off for his room again still with a hold of Petra's hand obviously having had enough of seeing you.
Petra looks back at you helplessly. "Thanks Mrs Barnes. I'm okay for the moment though."
"Help yourself if you want it at any time." You call out to them but they're already gone.
You don't know what they get up to when they disappear to his room. But you just really hope that he treats her well. They never use to disappear away like that by now they do. Any time you or Bucky try to talk to him he just snaps and shuts you out.
You huff and turn back to Isla and Bucky.
"Isla please promise me you won't turn out like Luke. You'll stay good like Petra?" You sigh.
"Of course mummy!" She smiles and nods.
Just then there is a knock a the door.
"Hellooo." You hear Peggy's voice sing out as her and Steve let themselves in and Sarah comes in behind them, rushing straight over to join Theo on his play mat.
"Hi guys." You rush over to greet them, kissing Peggy on the cheek and hugging Steve. "Oh Peg you look great. And Steve, you look very dapper yourself."
Steve smiles modestly.
"Ugh thanks. Wish I could say I felt that way," she says as she waddles over to the kitchen table and awkwardly lowers herself a chair trying to get comfortable - or at least as comfortable as you're betting she can get at this stage.
She really does look good though. She has on an emerald green velvet dress with long sleeves that falls straight to the ground, similar bright red lipstick to yours and her hair curled and pulled back into a nicely styled, loose bun.
Steve has on practically an identical suit and bow tie to Bucky with his hair combed down to the side.
"Hey guys." Bucky smiles warmly at them as he finishes doing up his cufflinks, clearly covering up that he's not feeling one hundred percent.
In fact you don't even think that Steve or Peggy are aware of these headaches he's been getting. First few times you didn't think anything of it, but then he stopped getting them for a while so you didn't think much of them. The only time Steve's heard about one was when Bucky had his flashback but you guys just pinned it to that. The first bad one he got at their wedding was just assumed to be an illness. Not only that but Bucky doesn't like to worry people so keeps things like this to himself. It's only you that knows about it as far as you're aware.
But you can see in Bucky's eyes that he's trying hard to concentrate and stay focussed. Now you just feel bad for giving him a hard time. These must actually be really be bad headaches if he struggles with them as much as he does. It takes a lot to get Bucky down and out.
"Sorry guys, we don't know how late we will stay out tonight. You know, poor Peg is a bit exhausted at the moment and all." Steve explains as he comes up and stands behind her with his hands on the back of her chair.
"Oh Steve don't be like that." She rolls her eyes. "We will see how things go. This might be the last time we get to stay out and have some fun for a while."
As usual, just like Bucky was with you, he's being all protective and cute over her.
"That works out perfectly with us, because Bucky's feeling a little under the weather, right Buck?" You look at him wearily.
He looks at you as if to say 'what are you about to do?'.
"Oh no! Really? What's wrong?" Peggy pouts at him.
"Ah, oh, just a little bit of a headache." He shrugs and shakes his head.
"I think he's just tired. The twins were both up at different times last night so we didn't get much sleep." You add to make it sound more convincing.
"Oh dear. Well, I'm sure we will all have fun once we get there." Peggy sighs.
The baby sitter arrives a few minutes later so you thank her and pay her and tell her everything she will need to know before hopping in Steve's car and heading to the Mayor's house.
When you get there the festivities are even grander than you first expected. The dining hall is set up beautifully and everyone who's anyone meanders around the tables. Two grand doors are open to the outside where there is a pool and a bar. Although this is not the kind of event that people will be going for a swim at, it's a nice night to have drinks outside.
You get there just in time to order a drink before dinner is served. Steve and Bucky each get a beer - Steve not being effected by alcohol has its positives when you need a driver - and you get a champagne while Peggy of course just has a water. Your guys table is at the front and centre of the room (just what Bucky will not want), along with Sam, Nat, Howard and Maria who are already sitting there waiting, waving out as you guys come over.
"Hey guys." You smile as you take your seat.
"Evening. Looking absolutely gorgeous as per usual (Y/N)." Sam swoons flamboyantly as you take your seat next to him.
He takes your hand and kisses it like a gentleman.
One thing you've learnt about him is that he is gay. The poor guy had a boyfriend who got killed during the war. He told you they were both fighter pilots and the day he got shot down all Sam could do was watch. His name was Riley and you could tell from the way that Sam got choked up talking about him that he must have loved him dearly. Ever since then he just says he's not interested in looking for a new partner. He still loves Riley for one thing, but it's so hard to find anyone in this day and age because everyone who is gay is just hiding it. Poor guy, he's so wonderful and happy that you would never realise something so awful like that had happened right before his eyes.
Fighter pilot is what you've been told, but Bucky came home from training one day with a spring in his step saying that he's got a little bit more up his sleeve than just flying a plane. He just wouldn't tell you what.
The dinner is lovely but extremely filling, a three course meal making you bulge at the seams. After dinner everyone receiving a badge of honour has their names listed off, Steve and Bucky of whom are the last with a large speech given listing everything they have done and everything they have been through before they are required to say there own speech. Steve unsurprisingly say most of the talking while Bucky just gives a quick thanks and a nervous smile and wave to the crowd at the end before they come back down to their seats, their chests adorned with their newly sparkling medals pinned to their breast pockets. Besides his lack of a speech, Bucky is rather quiet all night which makes you feel like he feels worse off then he's letting on. One thing about the fact that he's had a few of these now is that he seems to be getting better at dealing with them and covering them up but you can still tell that he feels just as bad.
"You okay?" You whisper to him, squeezing his thigh as the crowd still claps.
"Yeah, could we maybe just go outside for a little bit? I think some fresh air might help me." He mumbles.
You nod. "Hey guys, we are going to go for a drink and a walk outside if anyone wants to join?" You day to everyone else.
"I don't know if I can manage a walk but outside sounds good. It's so stuffy in here." Peggy huffs, fanning her face with her napkin.
"I'll come." Sam agrees.
Nat, Maria and Howard decide to stay inside a little linger and come meet you a little later. So as some of the crows starts to do the same as the five of you, you get up from your seats and make your way outside. Steve and Peggy just take a quiet seat in a corner and you've only just started walking towards the garden when Sam gets distracted talking to someone else which just leaves you and Bucky to yourselves anyway.
"Buck, I know what you're going to say, but you don't think it's the alcohol do you? Are you absolutely sure?" You start.
He shakes his head. "No. It started before I had a drink and anyway, one drink wouldn't do that to me. I've drunken before and not gotten one even since I started getting them," he says quietly.
"Okay." You nod and the two of you just walk along quietly for a few minutes, weaving in and out of the orchard trees away from the crowds.
You look up at him and tell he mustn't feel well, he's showing no interest in talking, just looking at his feet as he walks. Being outside doesn't seem to be helping at all. In fact you've even caught him tripping and stumbling a few times no matter how much he tries to cover it up. You look back over at the crowd of people, hearing the soft din of everyone's chatter.
"We can go home if you'd like? I'm sure Steve and Peggy won't mind." You ask him.
"No no I'm fine. Just distract me please. Talk to me about something." He mumbles.
"Okay. But why don't we head back over towards the house," you say as you start to wrack you're brains about something to talk about.
He nods.
"I really don't know how I feel about Luke and Petra always hiding away in his room whenever she comes over now. For one thing I feel like she still wants to be out chatting with the rest of the family. But also, who knows what they're doing in there? You know, they might be fine, it could just be nothing. But what if... you know... aren't they a little young?" You start babbling on as Bucky walks by your side.
He shrugs. "They're both becoming teenagers now. They're going to, and they need to experiment. At least they know each other and I'd like to hope that Luke still cares enough about her to treat her well. They can figure things out themselves and I'm sure if Petra didn't want to be there she wouldn't. They will come to us if they have any questions but I don't think there's much else we can do."
"Okay. You're right. I'm just being overly paranoid." You sigh as you get back to the pool, closer to where everyone else is.
As you start to walk around the edge absentmindedly, you look up to see Steve at the bar ordering himself another drink, Peggy watches him from where she sits, a hand resting on her now very large baby bump. Everyone around the place is definitely looking at least a little tipsy and are deep in conversations within the groups they are adjourned in.
"What do you say we try and shout Steve and Peggy out for dinner one last time before the baby comes? Or something like that? I just feel like they do so much for us, the least we can do is give them a little treat before their lives become consumed in the baby bubble again, you know?" You ask as you start to tip toe around the edge of the pool, feeling a little tipsy yourself being on about your third or fourth wine by now. "Buck?" You ask when he doesn't reply straight away.
It takes you a moment to realise that Bucky is not longer by your side.
"Bucky? What do you think about that?" You ask again as you turn around to see where he is.
But any fogginess you feel from the alcohol wears off immediately when you see Bucky standing a few metres back from where you are, swaying on the spot, stumbling as he tries to widen his stance to get better balance. He looks confused, his eyes flickering in and out of focus. You open your mouth to ask if he's okay just as you see his eyes roll back in his head and he all of a sudden starts to fall sideways... plunging straight into the cold water of the deep pool.