*Talia's name is pronounced as Taal-ee-uh; here is a video of its pronunciation https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4j2Hio9jcUs
Hello lovely readers, I wanted to take a moment to announce my absence was due to my husband (who is military) being rapidly deployed overseas with only a two day notice. I was distraught after he left, especially considering what is going on in the world, and I don't know when I'll see him again. I'm back to writing though because I couldn't stay gone forever. Thank you for your kind messages and well wishes! It was very nice of you all.*
•Ryder•
How that little spitfire manages to get me rock hard in seconds is beyond my realm of understanding.
Her fiery nature is just underneath the surface, shielded by her pain that she's trying hard to mask with drugs and alcohol. That fiery nature is what calls to me. It's what entices me, lures me in, wraps it's sensual grasp around my body and pulls me under the sea of arousal.
I have to step out of the bar when I watch her lithe frame reach up, onto her toes, to grasp the bottle of vodka on the top shelf. Her ass cheeks, so round and perfect, like firm globes of delectable flesh I want to sink my teeth into, poking out of the bottom of her shorts.
Does she have to dress like that?
Sticking a smoke between my teeth, I push through the crowd, smirking at Blade as he scurries away with Letha, sneaking into his old room upstairs next to mine to get into whatever mischief the duo normally partakes in.
Her tiny frame clings to my brother, his own hands wrapped tightly around her waist as he drags her up the stairs.
I chuckle, the haze of alcohol blurring my vision and making everything around me seem more amusing than it typically would be.
A few hangarounds inch their way towards me, hoping to catch me for a moment so they can talk, but I'm not interested in feeding anyone's desires to be attached to this club.
Not with this raging hard on and ache so deep in my body, only sinking myself into Talia's hot depths will be able to fix.
I collapse into a patio chair by the pool, a couple I don't recognize - probably a wannabe Sheep and more recent addition to the ever-growing hangaround numbers - are making out across the way.
"Hey!" I bark, shielding the sides of my mouth to amplify my voice, still muffled from the cigarette dangling between my lips.
They perk up and look my way and I thumb towards the Den. "Get lost."
A couple scoffs and muffled complaints later, and the two stand, shuffling fast by me towards the back entrance and into the sea of people dancing and maneuvering inside the clubhouse.
Pulling the flask gifted to me by my father on my sixteenth birthday, one year before his suicide, I spin the cap off, taking a long pull and nearly draining the metallic container of its contents.
Heat floods my throat and stomach, and I lick my lips of the remaining droplets of alcohol. Alcohol I can't even taste anymore from my over-intoxication.
Remembering I lit a smoke, I look down, unable to find it. My vision is too hazy and it must have slipped from my lips and rolled away in the wind.
"Fuck."
Grabbing my pack, I pull out the last one, flipped upside down for luck, and stick it between my teeth, sparking it with the zippo in the front pocket of my cut.
I fill my lungs with smoke, pulling the cigarette away with my fingers and dropping my hand down beside me, far enough towards the ground that my knuckles brush against the damp cement.
"There you are," a female voice sings out, the sound of high heels growing closer.
I crack open one eye, allowing myself to momentarily think Talia may have been looking for me, but exhaling a disappointed sigh when I see Nix, one of the strippers from the Lounge sauntering towards me.
"Here I am," I quip.
Before I can refuse her advances, she brings one of her lengthy legs over my body and straddles my lap, placing her dainty hands against my chest.
"I was looking for you back inside, why didn't you come get me before you came out?"
I raise an eyebrow. "Was I supposed to?"
She giggles. "Of course you were, silly." Leaning in towards my ear, she lowers her voice, "Who else is going to take care of this cock the way I can?"
Her hand snakes down my chest and stomach before grasping my already present erection and squeezing, sending pleasurable ripples throughout my groin.
I grunt, thrusting my hips upward in reaction to her touch.
"Now, let's ease this pain, shall we?" She moans, moving her hips back and forth on my thighs and rubbing me through my jeans.
Nix is undeniably gorgeous. Tall - almost my height, she's definitely six foot if not a little over - deeply tanned skin that is proof of her Native American and Latina mixed heritage. Her hair is several inches past the swell of her ass, skimming the back of her thighs, a shiny dark brown with hints of red scattered throughout.
And those tits.
Goddamn, those tits.
Speaking of...
I reach up, abandoning the second unsmoked cigarette since coming out here and take handfuls of the natural tits hanging directly in front of my face, covered solely by a flimsy scrap of fabric that shields hardly anything from sight.
My mouth waters at the sight.
I can feel my pants growing tight with my restrained erection begging to be let loose enough to bury myself inside this beautiful woman.
"Do you want me?" She breathes, sliding her hands back up my chest until she can grasp my jaw and tilt my gaze towards her face rather then the double D cups clouding my mind.
I take in her face - so unlike Talia's. Nix's nose is too angular, her jaw too prominent, her eyes too brown. Not like Talia's cute little sloped nose, or her round face, or those icy blue eyes that sparkle in the moonlight.
Nix snaps her fingers in front of my face and I realize I was drifting off, my eyes already closed and my head leaning back against the back of the chair. "Hey, stay awake big fella, I don't want to have to take advantage of a sleeping man."
I chuckle uncomfortably. "Honey, you can take advantage of me whenever you want."
But do I want her to?
I grip the sides of her hips, dragging her core right over my cock, preparing to unzip and slip into her soaked entrance, but two noisy pieces of shit decide to make an appearance.
"Hey, get out of here, I'm trying to get my dick wet."
"Ooh boo hoo. Did we interrupt your private time?" Blade's snarky remark rings out in the quiet yard, followed by Letha's snickers.
"Yes, as a matter of fact you did. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm trying to get in this chick's pants."
Nix laughs and leans over me, flinging her leg back over the side and standing up.
"Sorry, sweetheart, I've got a shift with Letha. Maybe later?" She sounds hopeful and I nod enthusiastically, watching her curvy form walk away to stand beside Letha, her hands smoothing down her blonde hair that was no doubt ruffled by Blade back upstairs.
"Isn't nice to be interrupted, is it Ryder?" Letha queries and I narrow my eyes and try to look as menacingly as possible with as much alcohol as I've consumed running through my veins.
"You can take that little smug behavior right on out of this clubhouse," I huff and cross my arms over my chest.
Letha laughs and kisses Blade before hooking her arm with Nix and leaving the poolside to go back inside, presumably to catch a ride with one of the prospects to take them to the Lounge.
Watching Nix walk away, I fixate on her round ass, swaying back and forth with every step, her cheeks sticking out of her shorts in the same manner as Talia's.
Talia.
Talia. Talia. Talia.
I close my eyes and let a moan slip out, settling back into the patio chair and flinging my arms behind my head.
I can almost picture Talia snug in between my legs, her mouth fanning hot little puffs of air over my cock, her hands sliding against my thighs, her eyes watching my every movement and waiting for the perfect time to strike.
My cock lurches in my jeans and I shift my hips, thrusting into the air - thrusting into dream-Talia's mouth.
I'm broken from my reverie when the patio chair beside me scrapes against the ground and a heavy body settles into it, a grunt being released.
My eyes pop open and I watch Blade get into the exact same position as me, his head pointed towards the starless sky, but his eyes open, taking in the night.
I bring my flask back to my mouth, pulling the vibrant flavors of liquor into my mouth, wishing I could enjoy it. But with my senses dulled so much, I can barely feel my fingertips, let alone taste the whiskey... or is it gin?
Passing the flask to Blade, he takes it, bringing it to his lips and taking a sip before pulling it away and looking at it. "Don't you think it's about time you start drinking less? This tastes like rubbing alcohol and battery acid mixed together and you're sucking it down like water."
I scoff, sitting up and staring at my best friend. "Don't you think it's about time you stop being so goddamn judgmental?"
Blade throws his hands up in mock surrender. "I'm just saying, man, you know your family history. You know what alcoholism did to your folks. Do you want that for yourself?"
Blade's always taken the tough love objective when it comes to my drinking. Partially because he knows the story of my parents. He knows how it tore them apart and led to their deaths.
He knows drugs and alcohol killed my mom and he knows my dad drank himself to death after she died.
And I know he means well, but the words that flow out of my mouth aren't a good reflection of my inner understanding. "I don't have a fucking wife to live for and I don't have a problem for that matter. If I want to quit drinking, I can." I brush my hands together as if I'm brushing away something on my palms before putting them up in surrender. "No more alcohol? No problem. But if I want to get shitfaced, there isn't any reason to stop myself."
"Mhm." He nods, turning his attention back to the night sky and away from me. I settle back into the chair. "I just want what's best for you, brother."
I chew on the side of my cheek for a moment, thinking about his genuine concern. "I know," I grumble.
He chuckles. "I can get you the help you need if you need it."
"I don't need help. I'm serious. I can quit or I can cut back." He turns his eyes back to me in disbelief and I huff. "I promise, man, I don't need any help from anyone."
If Talia can make the decision to change her life, then damnit, so can I.
It's quiet for a bit, the only sound the filter from the pool working and the sloshing of water as the wind picks up and creates a current in the circular body of water. The sounds from inside the clubhouse are muffled through the thick back door, but through my hazy head, I barely notice it.
"Heard anything from Talon lately?" I question, not even sure if I want to hear about his life away from us.
It's such a taboo topic with the guys, it's hardly ever brought up. It's almost unheard of for a brother to take off the way he has and still remain apart of the club. But... he's Talon, and we all understand he needs time.
I hear Blade sigh and watch as he shifts his hands to his lap and interlocks his fingers. "I got a voicemail from an unknown number with a vague message saying 'I'm alive and I'll be back in time' with no other context. It sounded like him so I'm pretty sure it wasn't anyone fucking with me, but it still wasn't enough to make me feel good about wherever he might be."
My chest clenches up at the thought of the man I've known for twenty years, out there, alone, struggling with his emotions and fighting his inner demons.
So much happened to him in such a short amount of time. I know the only rational decision is taking some time for yourself, but I just wish he wouldn't have left. Not having him around is weird. After spending nearly every day together for twenty years, to not see him for almost a year... just doesn't seem natural.
But, I respect his decision to take a break from this life. I respect his need to find himself and feel better about everything before coming back.
Losing a wife and child is a whole other battlefront as opposed to losing parents. I couldn't imagine. Hell, none of us can imagine. Only Ronan comes close since he lost his wife several years ago. But even then, he doesn't know what Talon's going through.
We can't understand the pain. The feeling of being lost. The confusion at how people so dear to him were taken in an instant.
And I hope no one else ever does have to experience that.
"So did you call the number back?"
Blade purses his lips and shakes his head. "If it warranted a response, he would have called again. I'm trying to give him his distance from the club."
Nodding along, I understand. It doesn't stop me from feeling a bit rebuffed that Blade is the one getting updates from Talon as opposed to me. The three of us have been thick as thieves since childhood, but I've not received one text, call, or letter since he took off.
I know I shouldn't feel jealousy or anger, because the only messages Blade is getting are short, impersonal updates, but it still would be nice to hear from him and not hear about him.
Silence ensues and I close my eyes, picturing the good ol' days, back when we were teens getting into what we assumed was major trouble back then.
I chuckle, Blade perking up and asking, "What's got you all giddy?"
"Remember when we were - what was it, fourteen maybe? - and we stole our dads bikes and took them for a joyride around the city?"
Blade laughs along with me. "Fuck, I haven't thought about that in years."
"Our dads were pissed when we got back, but holy shit if it wasn't worth it. Probably one of my best memories of the three of us."
Blade looks off into the distance, his gaze a million miles away. "Yeah... those were the days."
The tension within the air around us escalates quickly. "I miss him, man."
He sighs again, "I miss him too, but he'll be back. He won't be able to stay gone forever. You know him, I know him, this is his home, his family, his world. He'll be back. We just have to give him time."
I nod along, looking off at the backyard, seeing the pretty flowers planted by June all around, a mixture of reds and pinks and whites, all surrounded by greenery and tasteful lawn ornaments. Talon used to love coming out here to read. He'd often sit by the pool or either in the gazebo, stretch out, a bottle of tequila at his side and whatever new, random find he picked up at the library in his hands.
"Time. Right."
Blade changes the subject and I'm thankful. "On a lighter note, what the fuck is going on with you and Talia?"
I can't help the massive grin from breaking out on my face at the mention of the dark-haired beauty working the bar back inside. "Seems as if you've become even more attached to her within the past couple of months."
"I don't know, man, there's just something about her."
Blade pauses. "Is that something her cunt or her heart? Because so help me God, if you destroy this girl and Letha hears about it—" He holds his hands up again as if to yield to whatever happens, "Then I won't be able to protect you from her wrath, and I'm pretty positive she'll kill you for hurting her best friend."
I laugh, waving him off. "I don't think we're in any danger of me hurting her. She doesn't even like me. She will hardly even speak to me. I think I got her to talk to me more tonight than I have in weeks."
"But what is this? What's got you so hung up on her if she won't even give you the time of day? There's plenty of women out there, and I've known you your whole life. You've never been a one woman kinda man." Blade raises his eyebrow, hinting towards my track record of not keeping any women around for long.
"What is this?"
What is this? What is it about Talia that makes me want her so bad? Yeah, sure, she's sex personified and has the body of a swimsuit model, but so do Nix, and Tulsa, and Effie, and every other god forsaken Sheep in this club. So do all the co-eds on vacation from college that came here to party. So do all the hot moms out in the suburbs.
"It's... something else. She's something else."
Talia and I are cut from the same cloth. I can feel a deeper connection when I see her, when I talk to her, when I think about her. It feels different when I'm with her. It feels right.
I've always known the Sheep are for one night. In the morning, they'll be gone and at night, they'll be replaced by another until the cycle runs dry and I have to start over with them. But by the time I sleep with the same girl twice, I've already forgotten what her pussy feels like wrapped around my cock.
But with Talia... I want her to be in my bed at night. I want to wake up with her there. I want to bring her to bed the next night and every night to follow after.
I want her in the way that Blade has Letha - in his bed, on his bike, and in his heart.
I want Talia there in my bed, on my bike, and in my heart.
"I'm warning you now, bro, Talia isn't in the mindset to be loved or to love someone else. Not now."
"I know," I breathe, shuddering at the subtle mention of why she isn't in the mindset for love.
I'm not an idiot. I know she isn't healed from what happened to her and I know it isn't going to happen until she makes it happen.
Recovering from something as heinous as what happened to her could take a lifetime. And even if it does, I want to be there, helping her, loving her in any way she'll allow.
I want to help bring her back into the light and heal her wounds, soothe her scars, and ease her fears.
She's strong, that much is obvious. Tonight is a true testament to that. She doesn't need me, but I want to be there for her.
If only she'll let me.