1) If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
2) You're so ugly, you scared the crap out of the toilet.
3) Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick.
4) No, I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
5) It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.