Chapter Five

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1) You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.

2) Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

3) You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering.

4) The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.

5) I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you

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