Just a little note - any artwork I have attached is credited to its original artist!
~~~
"Shut the hell up, Jaeger!" Jean hissed, his fists clenched at his sides. You frowned and leaned forward slightly.
"Jean calm down," you whispered to him from across the table. "Just let it be."
Jean ignored your attempt at calming the situation down and continued to glare up at your other closest friend.
It was just after you and Jean's morning class at Maria University, and the two of you decided to get some coffee at the cafe down the street. You and Jean had been best friends for quite some time now, but you had been friends with Eren longer. You had grown up with the tempermental man, and it irked you when him and Jean got into small spats like this; especially in public places.
However, Eren knew nothing of the fact that you were head over heels in love with Jean and you had no intentions of telling him because you knew he would disapprove and try to take you away from him.
Your third friend, Marco, watched helplessly as he walked up to the table, a math textbook in his arms. He frowned at you as Jean and Eren continued to bicker. Unlike Eren and Jean, you told Marco about your feelings and he constantly told you that you should inform Jean because he had no doubt in his mind that he felt that same way.
"Yeah whatever, horse! At least I don't roll around in hay in my free time!" Eren yelled back. You rolled your eyes at the childish and weak comeback.
"Guys seriously, we're in public," Marco murmured.
Both of you could feel Jean's blood boiling. He was so easy to anger, even with simple and stupid insults.
"Rolling around in hay is better than living in shit!"
You scowled at Jean's response. He couldn't be serious. That was the worst comeback you had ever heard.
"I'd rather live in shit than sleep with anything that moves or looks in my direction," Eren growled. Your eyes widened. That was it. You felt Jean's anger overflow at the cheap shot as he death glared the turquoise eyed boy.
"At least I can get something from someone that isn't my mother," Jean retorted. "Oh wait, that's right. What mother?"
You gasped in horror as everyone else around you fell into silence. Not even Eren could respond; he was too busy gaping at Jean. You were shocked - you knew Jean could get extremely pissed off and go pretty far, but you never thought he would stoop as low as using Eren's dead mother against him. You thought Jean knew his limits.
"Too fucking far, Jean," you hissed, standing up from your seat. "Honestly I didn't think you would go that far just to win a stupid fucking argument. Way to go, Kirschtein."
You reached for Eren's arm and gently tugged him out of the cafe after gathering your things.
As the two of you walked, Eren's eyes filled with angry tears. You looked at him and almost cried yourself at how heartbroken and torn apart he was now.
"Are you okay?" You asked quietly.
Eren shook his head slowly. His pace came to a stop and he glared at the sidewalk below his feet.
"I knew the bastard hated me, but to go as far as that?" He mumbled. His hands repeatedly clenched and unclenched into fists. You frowned and stepped closer to him and wrapped your arms around his neck in a comforting hug.
Eren wasted no time in hugging you back. He always loved hugging you because you always held him in a comfortable, tight manner and let him cry on your shoulder. You two were like siblings.
"I'm sorry he said that," you whispered, stroking his hair soothingly.
~~~
That incident had occurred nearly two weeks ago, and you had yet to speak to Jean other than the highly aggressive arguments you two engaged in everytime you were near each other. You were so unbelivably pissed at him, moreso now because he fought with you on every little thing when he could simply ignore you.
At the same time you felt bad for Marco because he was a close friend to both you and Jean. It left him in incredibly awkward situations when it was miraculously all three of you together. You and Jean would randomly start screaming at each other over the littlest things with Marco right in the middle of it.
You were sitting in your room of the apartment you shared with Ymir and Annie. You had books and papers scattered all over your desk as you feverishly worked on homework and studied for your next class in two days.
"Hey, (F/N). I'm going to stay with Christa tonight so don't worry about keeping any lights on for me," Ymir announced as she poked her head into your room. You gave her a thumbs up without turning around and listened to her retreating footsteps before focusing back on the essay in front of you.
"Honestly, what the hell," you grumbled. You glared at the piece of planning paper. You had the sudden urge to rip it into pieces and burn it.
You reread the three paragraphs you already had written and just when you were about to jump back into it, a sharp knock sounded throughout the apartment.
"Annie!" You shrieked for the blonde; it was probably for her anyway. "The door!"
You waited several seconds for the sound of the front door opening. When you heard nothing, you groaned and got up.
It didn't register in your mind until you were halfway to the door that Annie was out getting pizza with Reiner and Bertholdt.
You opened the door and smiled when you found Marco standing there.
"Hey Freckles," you greeted. You stood to the side to let him in.
"Uh, actually I was wondering if you could come with me. I need help with my English essay and you know how Mr. Ackerman gets when it isn't perfect," he informed you. Your face lit up at his words.
"That's actually not a problem at all because I was kind of struggling too," you told him. "Let me go make myself look presentable and then we could go to the park or something."
Marco nodded and you closed the door. You already had your baggy shirt off by the time you made it back to your room. You exchanged your sweatpants, shirt, and slippers for a pair of jeans, a sweater, and a pair of boots. You brushed through your long hair and added a small amount of make-up so you wouldn't look so dead.
You gathered your textbooks and papers into your messenger bag and grabbed your house key. Once you were ready enough, you walked back outside with a smile.
You locked the door behind you and pocketed the key.
"Ready?" You asked Marco. He smiled and nodded at you. He led the way towards the elevator.
It didn't take long for the two of you to get downstairs and into his warmer car.
"Do you mind if we stop by my place first? I just realized I forgot my textbook," Marco said. You shrugged, not really caring. It didn't enter your mind that Jean was Marco's roommate and he was more than likely going to be there; you were so used to ignoring his presence that you forgot he even existed.
You hummed softly as Marco drove down his street, your fingers tapping lightly to the beat of the song playing softly in the background.
You didn't even remember Jean was a real person at the moment.
~~~
"Oh god, no no no! Marco please, please don't make me go in there and face it!" You pleaded as Marco tugged on your arm. You held onto the passenger seat with all of your strength as the freckled man tried to drag you out.
As soon as it clicked in your mind that there was an asshat man named Jean Kirschtein and that you were heading right for him, you began panicking and begging for Marco to turn the car around.
That's how you got into the situation you were in now. Once Marco shifted the car into park and removed the keys, you clung to the seat for dear life.
And now Marco had a death grip on your waist as he attempted to pry you out of the car. You let out a whining noise as he pulled and tugged, yet you still refused to let go. It was practically a death sentence; Marco was completely out of his mind! Seriously, who did he think he was trying to trick you into something as idiotic and suicidal as this?
"(F/N) please! Stop being so difficult!" He yelled. "Just go in there and talk to him. At least hear him out. He's been sulking ever since that day at the coffee shop!"
"No!"
"For gods sake, (F/N)!"
You shrieked a little when a sudden burst of strength overcame Marco and he pulled you right out of the car. You landed on your back on the concrete with a soft 'oof' at the same tim Marco whooped in triumph.
"Now you have no choice!" He chirped, peeling you off of the ground. You grumbled profanities under your breath as you dusted yourself off. You closed the car door in mild irritation as you followed Marco up to the front door.
"Although I really do need to get my textbook," he stated. He unlocked the front door and walked inside while you followed a little more reluctantly.
"Oh hey Marco," you heard Jean greet. Your heart cracked at how lifeless his voice sounded. "You're home early. What happened to studying with Connie and Sasha?"
Before Marco could answer him, Jean's eyes flickered over to you as you entered the building. Whatever sympathy you had developed in the past five minutes washed away as you remembered how upset Eren was after Jean yelled at him.
Your (E/C) eyes hardened and you crossed your arms, refusing to meet Jean's saddened brown orbs.
You expected Jean to say something to you. You expected him to demand why you were there; but he didn't. His own eyes simply narrowed and ignored you completely as he looked back at Marco.
You raised a single eyebrow. That was a first.
"You left your textbook in the kitchen," he informed him. Marco smiled weakly and walked past him. Jean followed, leaving you standing alone.
For the sake of not feeling awkward, you trailed the two men quietly.
"I also have that outline paper you needed," Jean said once you entered the small kitchen.
You had no time to mingle in the kitchen, because as soon as you entered, the two were walking off again towards Jean's room. You sighed under your breath and once again chose to follow.
You stood in the entryway with your shoulder leaning against the doorframe, your eyes boredly watching as Jean shuffled through a pile of papers for what he needed to give to his roommate.
"Do me a favor and get out of my room?" Jean spoke up upon noticing your presence. You narrowed your eyes at him.
"Excuse me? There's this little thing called manners. I know the term and concept is foreign to you and all, but so is speaking horse yet you managed that no problem. Maybe try the same with respect and manners, hm?" You replied in a low, threatening voice.
Jean scoffed. "Oh so now you're making horse jokes? Sorry but just a few weeks ago you were telling me how much I didn't look like one."
"And now I'm going back on it," you hissed. "The point is that you should say please if you want someone to do something."
"Fine. Will you please do me a favor and get out of my room?" Jean repeated irritably. You scowled at the hint of sarcasm in his voice.
"No."
His eyes narrowed. "What."
You crossed your arms stubbornly and returned the glare. "You heard me. I said no."
The book Jean had in his hands to look through slammed shut and he set it down slowly. "This is my home, (F/N). If I ask you to leave, you have to leave. You have no say in whether or not you stay because you. Don't. Live. Here."
You pushed off of the doorframe and stalked forward until you were nose to nose with Jean. Well, sort of. He was way taller than you and technically you only went up to his shoulder, so you had to tilt your head back to meet his unwavering gaze.
"Unfortunately for you, Marco invited me in, therefore I'm staying until he's ready."
Marco groaned. "Please don't drag me into this."
"Then get this bitch out of here," Jean growled, not once breaking eye contact with you. Your hands rolled into fists at his insult.
"So I'm a bitch now?" You said through clenched teeth.
"You were never not one."
"Jean please..." Marco sighed.
"Why don't you go crawling back to Jaeger? Since you're the only woman that seems to care for him and all," Jean sneered. "You do care for him right? Or are you using him just to make him feel better? Getting down and dirty with the idiot to make up for the fact that he won't ever have anyone else to love him?"
Your eye twitched. Jean knew he was striking a nerve within you. You tried your best to keep your glare and fury under control even though it was getting harder with every word that left his mouth.
"Or is the other way around?" Jean carried on. His voice was flat and emotionless. "Maybe he faked being so upset about his mommy just so he could get to you. In that case, he's welcome for me helping him out. Tell me, (F/N), are you using him? Or is he using you?"
"Jean that's enough," you snapped.
He ignored you. "After this you'll probably going running right back to him like he wants, all so he can just get right into -"
His sentence was cut off as you punched him in the face.
~~~
"Ow," Jean hissed as you gently pressed a cloth to his busted lip. You flinched and retracted your arm slightly.
"Sorry," you muttered.
After you had punched Jean, you anger evaporated and you felt like shit. You had never been angry enough to hit anyone before, much less someone you were in love with.
Your hit had been powerful enough to bust open his lip and have blood come streaming out the bottom lip. Upon seeing the blood, squeamish Marco stepped outside while you were left to tend to Jean's new injury.
Chairs apparently didn't exist in the house, because rather than sitting in them like normal human beings, you had Marco bring you the first aid kit and you worked on Jean on the floor.
He was sitting in front of you with his legs stretched out in front of him. You sat on your knees in between his long legs with the first aid kit next to you on the outside of the barrier called Jean's leg. You had wiped away the blood and staunched the flow, but now you needed Jean to relax and let you sterilize his open wound so it wouldn't get infected.
You held the white, alcohol soaked rag away from Jean's lip for a few more seconds before gently pressing it against his wound again. He cursed in pain again and swatted your hand away.
"That fucking stings!" He complained. You scoffed at him.
"Maybe if you didn't piss me off we wouldn't be in this situation."
Jean rolled his eyes. "Well maybe if you hadn't of punched me we wouldn't be."
"And maybe if you hadn't of been such a dick before I wouldn't have punched you!" You shouted angrily. Jean fell silent at your retort and looked down, his eyes a wide mix of emotions. You sighed and shook your head and went to press the rag against his bottom lip again.
Despite his whines and hisses in pain, he complied with your actions.
The two of you sat in dead silence as you held the rag on his face. You were angry at yourself now for resorting to violence and with how you handled the entire situation.
Jean hadn't said a word to you ever since you hit him and it didn't seem like he was going to anytime soon. It was understandable; you did punch him afterall.
After a minute or two of sterilizing the wound, you pulled the rag away and made sure blood wouldn't ooze out again before sitting back in a crouch.
You sighed and ran a hand through your hair. This was the worst day of your life. You tossed the rag inside of the first aid kit and closed it before settling back again.
When you finished cleaning up, you looked up at Jean who was already staring intently at you. A blush rose to your face at the sudden warmth in his eyes and any anger or frustration you felt the past two weeks fell away as your feelings for Jean surfaced.
"(F/N)."
You met his waiting eyes and blinked expectantly. Jean leaned back on the palms of his hands and watched you carefully.
"I'm sorry," he murmured so quietly you had to strain to hear him.
Fortunately, you had good hearing and heard clearly.
You looked down at the floor. "I'm sorry too."
The ghost of a smile appeared on Jean's lips at your apology. "I guess we both were in the wrong, huh?"
You nodded as tears pricked your eyes. "We both said some really shitty things."
Jean chuckled. "Yeah. Although I think I said the worst things. You were right before; I shouldn't have said what I said to Eren. It was out of line and crossing a boundary that should never be crossed."
"No kidding..."
"But to be completely honest with you, my biggest regret is what I said to you. Both the past few weeks and a few minutes ago." Jean sighed and leaned forward again. "(F/N), I am really truly sorry for everything I said to you. I didn't mean a word of it and if I could take it back, I would in a heartbeat. I was angry and there is no excuse for my actions and words. Will you please forgive me for being a shitty friend? Feel free to say no."
A smile cracked at your lips at his mini rant. "Jean, of course I forgive you. I hope you can forgive me as well for saying all the things I did. They weren't any better."
Jean waved his hand dismissively. "Please, your comebacks and insults were weak." He smiled at you. "But I forgive you."
The two of you stayed like that for a moment, just staring and smiling at each other until you blushed a deep pink and had to look down. The entire time your heart raced.
"Hey (F/N)?"
You looked up at Jean at the sound of your name and raise your eyebrows in surprise when you felt his hands on your waist pulling you closer until he had you in a straddling position on his lap. If you could blush any worse, you would have.
Once Jean had you in a comfortable position, he brought a hand up to cup the back of your head, leaving the other arm to wrap around your waist.
Slowly he pulled your face down to meet his. He gave you no time to react as he gently pressed his lips against yours.
With how fast your heart was beating you were surprised you were still alive. Your hands tightly clutched the front of Jean's shirt as you kissed him back with everything in you.
You felt Jean smirk against your lips and he slowly leaned forward, bringing you to the ground until he was hovering over you. Your arms slid around his neck, bringing him closer as he straddled your hips and put his hand down beside your head to support his weight. His free hand was slowly beginning to wander up your shirt, but before he could take it further you detached your lips from him and frowned.
"Doesn't that hurt your lip?"
Jean shrugged. "Not really. It's easy to ignore."
You smiled and pulled his head back down to you.
Right before your lips touched, you whispered, "I love you, Jean."
You felt him smile as he planted a kiss on your lips. "I love you too."
"Will you do me a favor then?"
He didn't reply and only watched you and waited for you to speak again.
"Will you apologize to Eren? For me?" You asked quietly, nervously chewing the inside of your cheek. Jean froze above you at your request.
It took a few seconds, but he finally unfroze and let out a slow breath. "Fine. I'll apologize."
You beamed at him. "Will you try to get along with him too?"
Jean snorted. "Definitely not."
Ah well. You expected as much; no one can say you didn't try. You gave no response to him, instead pulling his lips back down to meet yours. He complied without a problem, tightening his hold on you.
Jean gave no indication that he was letting you go anytime soon, all thoughts on studying and finishing your essay erased from your memory.
You never got around to doing homework and hanging out with Marco; he was completely out of your thoughts the rest of the night to put it simply.