I can help you if you want it

Life is worth living ❤🙏

So I've been gone for a while. I'm telling you the truth and nothing but the truth. I've been dreading this day I would have to admit to doing this but it needs to be heard. On September 30 2019, I attempted suicide. And I hate that word so much.. the word attempted because it makes me seem like I failed. But if you're reading this right now and you're thinking of killing yourself.. don't. Please don't. It's not worth it. I know it hurts right now but you will get through it. The pain will go away I promise you. You just have to give life a chance. Life fucking sucks and it hurts I know but it'll get better. I know everybody probably tells you that but it's true. I used to hate when people would say that to me. It frustrated me because most of them don't know what it's like to be in so much pain and feel so worthless all the time. They most likely never ever felt like that but what they tell you is true. And I you do feel like you're going to harm yourself please contact someone who can help you. Your parents, close friends, school counselor, even a suicide hotline. You just need to stick through the painful part in life to get to the exciting and joyful part. It'll suck but in the end it'll be worth it. I've had so many people in my life commit suicide and I've always been mad at them.. mad at them for leaving me but now I understand. I understand the pain they were feeling at the time. And I forgive them. They didn't mean to hurt me, they just didn't want the pain anymore. But when someone in your life does that it hurts. So if you kill yourself it'll cause them pain too. So reach out to the ones you love please before you make the decision. Here's a tip I use if you ever feel the need to self harm. Draw a butterfly on your arm or anywhere you want really, and name it after someone you really care about and don't want to leave. It helps me a lot. Whenever I feel like I can't take the pain anymore that gives me a reminder of them.. and I know they care about me and wouldn't want me to hurt myself. But I'm back now and I'm really sorry I left you guys hanging. I missed this so much.. missed writing. People say writing is therapeutic and it really is for me. So I'm really happy to be writing again. I really missed it. I love you all and please please stay strong 🙏❤ feel free to message me if you need to talk ❤❤