'You can't do this,' Tori said, her eyes pleading with me as she sat across the table from me in the bar down the street.
'Have you told Charlie yet?' I asked her.
'No, it's not my place!' she cried.
'He's not talking to me,' I told her.
'Cal, you can't go!' she exclaimed. 'Please don't do this.'
'There's nothing left for me here,' I said, shrugging.
'Your business!' she cried. 'Your friends!'
'I came here for Bethan,' I said. 'I wouldn't be here if I hadn't met her and she hadn't gotten a place at Columbia. I belong in The Falls. In my cabin.'
'You have a better life here than back in your little cabin in the woods,' she said. 'You told me that money wasn't easy there. You own a business now.'
'I can't stay here after everything,' I sighed.
'So, lose the apartment,' she said. 'Get out of Inwood and away from the memories. Find a place in Brooklyn next to the shop and where your friends are. Create a new life here.'
'She'll always appear places I go,' I said. 'Maybe not all the time but I'll be sure to see her again.'
'But she'll return home to The Falls to see her family and you'll see her there,' she said.
'It's easier to avoid her back home,' I said.
'In that tiny town?' she asked. 'Compared to the big fucking apple.'
'Look,' I sighed. 'When I called you the other night you asked me to think about it. I thought about it for three days and now I'm telling you, my mind hasn't changed.'
'I don't want the shop,' she sighed.
'Then I'll keep the shop,' I said. 'You guys can still work there and forward me your rent every month.'
'Don't go,' she said, pouting at me.
'You should want me to go,' I said. 'I've been an ass to you.'
'I deserved it,' she sighed. 'Well, at least the majority of the time.'
'Like when you kissed me?' I teased.
'Shut up,' she said, turning red. 'I told you that was just-.'
'Yeah yeah, "a friendly gesture" I know,' I chuckled after mockingly mimicking her.
'Please just take the rest of the weekend to think it over,' she sighed.
'I've already packed, Tori,' I told her. 'I'm sorry. I'm leaving on Monday so I can be home with my family for Christmas.'
'I'm really sad,' she said, pouting at me again.
'I'll be sure to visit,' I told her. 'Make sure my shop is being run the right way.'
'We will look after it,' she said, her eyes filling up.
'I know you will,' I said. 'I trust you both. Even that asshole.'
'Say you'll make up with him before you leave,' she said.
'Of course,' I replied with a nod. 'I'll make sure I apologise to him.'
'Thank you,' she whispered, a tear escaping her eye.
'Don't do this, Tori,' I sighed.
'I'm sorry,' she said, quickly wiping it. 'I know you're not exactly a fan of soppy goodbyes.'
'It's not goodbye yet,' I said. 'I'm here until Monday.'
'Two days left with you,' she chuckled. 'Whatever will we do.'
'Well, after a full day at work today of Charlie totally acting like I wasn't there,' I laughed. 'Maybe make up with him first.'
'Then how about tomorrow you guys come to my place?' she asked. 'I'll set up a small gathering; invite some people. I'll sort the drinks.'
'Sure,' I agreed. 'The least I can do is be there to have a final drink with you guys.'
'Yay!' she cheered, clapping quickly.
'Does that mean I get to meet the new lover before I leave?' I asked.
'Sure,' she chuckled. 'I'll make sure my new lover is there too.'
'Okay,' I said with a smile. 'I'd better head home then.'
I stood to my feet and Tori did the same, stepping forward and hugging me quickly.
'I just hope you're doing what is going to make you happy,' she whispered.
'I am,' I replied, before stepping out of her grip. 'See you at your place tomorrow?'
'Yeah,' she replied. 'Goodnight.'
I gave her a gentle wave and headed through the bar to the exit, heading up the street to my car parked outside of the shop. I jumped inside and started up, heading up the street, back to my apartment which I'd be spending my last ever weekend in.
After my phone conversation with Tori, she'd obviously freaked and begged me to think about it. I'd spent the rest of the week thinking. I'd had nothing else on my mind even at work while I was inking, I was debating it in my head. As long as Bethan and I were apart, I couldn't stay here.
Tori had eyed me up everyday at work, clearly wondering what I had decided and Charlie didn't have a clue what was happening because he'd avoided talking to me all week. The nasty bruise on his cheek right by his nose was a clear indicator that I'd got him good and I respected that he didn't want to speak to me but he shouldn't have badmouthed Bethan and he wouldn't have gotten hit.
I'd agreed to go for a drink with Tori after work with it being Friday, so she could finally discuss with me what I had decided and of course, she was upset that I was still leaving.
Now, I was heading home to finish off packing so I could spend the rest of the weekend with my colleagues at Tori's "gathering" before I made the journey back to The Falls.
Once home, I took a shower and got into sweats, manoeuvring around the boxes scattered in the lounge that were full of my stuff. I'd packed Bethan's stuff into one large box and labelled it, planning to drop it at her dorm on the way home on Monday.
I grabbed a bottle from the fridge and drank it as I lounged on the sofa. Luckily our apartment had been furnished so I didn't have to worry about moving large appliances out. I had just packed my own stuff and what was left of hers and I was ready to go.
After relaxing for a little while, I finished my bottle and headed to bed, actually looking forward to Tori's gathering tomorrow. I was really hoping Charlie and I could work things out before I left.
I fell asleep pretty quickly, waking early and finishing off packing up some of my desk to box up the things I wouldn't need now that I'd finished my last working week. It was a sad thought that yesterday had been the last day I'd worked in my shop. I'd worked so hard for it and I'd loved every minute of having it. It was the only thing in my life I'd ever really achieved and I was happy that Tori and Charlie would still be working there. I didn't care about making money from it, I was just glad I wasn't completely losing my tie to it.
I finished packing my desk and headed to the kitchen, making some cereal in the one bowl I'd kept out free from a box. Taking a seat at the counter, I pulled up the Instagram page for Lakey Ink, scrolling through our posts that Tori had made since she'd started there. The page had really took off since we'd gotten her on board and our work was liked so frequently by so many followers. It made me smile a little to see that the skills I'd had for years and kept to myself and the few people I worked on were finally being seen and liked. It wasn't something I'd cared for but it was a warming feeling.
I sat up straight, placing my phone to the counter as I heard a knock at the door. Dropping my spoon into the bowl, I got up to cross the apartment, my brain throwing up random names of who would be at my place this early in the morning. Maybe Tori making one last attempt to stop me leaving. Maybe Charlie had found out and was here to pull me up on it. Maybe it was Bethan...but why would she be here? Maybe she had found out...but that wasn't possible. Only Tori knew and she would never tell her.
I reached the door and unlocked it, pulling the bolt across too and pulling it open.
'Surprise!'
I jumped back at the sudden reaction before quickly gathering myself and frowning at the three people in front of me. Bethan's family.
'What are you guys doing here?' I asked, immediately feeling my mouth going dry when I saw their smiling, clueless faces. It clicked instantly. She hadn't told them.
'We're here to surprise you guys,' Clara said with a grin. 'Instead of you guys coming to The Falls, we're spending Christmas here. We have family and friends here plus, you have your business and Bethan has studying. It made more sense for us to come here.'
'Are you planning on staying here?' I asked, holding the door firmly against me.
'No,' Clara said, frowning as she clearly felt strange that I hadn't invited them in yet. 'We've booked a hotel. We didn't want to completely invade your privacy.'
'Oh, well, Bethan's not here,' I said, unsure of how to handle this. I had to just get rid of them so I could call Bethan and give her the heads up. At the same time, seeing their happy faces was really killing me.
'That's okay,' Clara chuckled. 'I could do with a nice coffee after that long drive.'
'Not on your bike might I add,' Ted said, chuckling to himself. 'It's safe in our garage, don't you worry. I've been looking after her.'
'Well don't just stand there,' Clara laughed. 'Let us in.'
I closed my eyes softly and tried to think of an excuse. I had no idea what to say or do and I couldn't bring myself to be the one to tell her. She wasn't my mom and it wasn't my place. Bethan should have informed them already and I couldn't help but wonder why. What had she told them when she'd went home for thanksgiving?
'Cal, what's wrong?' Clara asked, her face growing concerned as I was silent for too long.
I opened my mouth to speak but had no words.
'Cal?' Ted questioned, eyeing me seriously.
'You guys can't come in,' I said. 'Sorry, it's a real mess. If you'd called I would have tidied up for you guys.'
'Well, that's okay,' Clara said. 'We don't mind.'
'I think you should call Bethan and go meet her,' I said.
'Where is she?' Ted asked.
Shit! Obviously I had no idea where she was.
'Probably with her friends,' I said, my palms growing sweaty at all the lies.
'Probably?' Clara questioned. 'You don't know where she is?'
Fuck, fuck, fucking fuck.
'What's going on?' Riley asked, my head turning to him and seeing his confused eyes. I had grown so fond of this kid and I was surely going to miss him.
'Let me in,' Clara said, her face now stern and serious. 'I will call Bethan and ask her myself if you don't know.'
'I can't let you in, Clara,' I sighed.
Without warning, she rushed forward and slammed her weight against the door, knocking me back a little but enough for her to grab the edge of the door and push it out of my grip. She stepped into the apartment and stared around at all of the boxes and my suitcases.
'What the hell is happening?' she asked, her face frozen in horror.
'What the hell?' Ted mumbled as he stared around too.
'Why have you packed all of your stuff?' Clara asked, her face now furious as she glared at me.
'Are you leaving her?' Ted asked. 'She's away somewhere isn't she? With friends? You're leaving her before she gets back!'
'No!' I cried. 'I would never do that!'
'Then why is all of your stuff in boxes?' Clara cried. 'This apartment looks empty!'
She strolled through the boxes and glanced around frantically before she spotted the box on the side table with Bethan's things in it and her name on it. She quickly opened it and started looking through the items before turning to me.
'Are you two moving?' she asked.
'No,' I sighed.
'Then I'll ask you again,' Ted said, angrily. 'Are you living up to everything we thought of you at the start? Are you leaving her and about to break her damn heart?'
'For fuck's sake, no!' I yelled. I wanted to cover for her but I couldn't continue any longer. I couldn't have them thinking I was hurting her. 'She left! Bethan was the one who left.'
'She what?' Clara cried even louder.
'That's the last of her stuff,' I told her. 'I'm dropping it off to her then I'm moving out of here myself. I'm moving back to The Falls.'
'Oh my god!' Clara gasped, standing still with her hand over her mouth.
'I'm sorry,' I sighed. 'I honestly thought she would have told you.'
'What do you mean she left?' Ted asked. 'Where the hell is she?'
'She left me,' I sighed. 'We fell out over a few things and she got her shit and left. She lives in the dorms now.'
'Are you fucking kidding me?' Clara spat. 'She's been staying in a dorm! How long?!'
'A few weeks now. I'm so sorry you had to find out like this,' I sighed. 'I thought she would have told you when she came home for thanksgiving.'
'A few weeks?!' Ted cried.
'She didn't come home!' Clara yelled. 'She said she was staying here to spend it with you! She said you were both so busy and that's why we came here for Christmas!'
I was feeling completely out of my depth with all of their yelling. Why the hell did Bethan pretend like we were still together? Who the fuck did she spend thanksgiving with? Surely not alone in that dorm room all on her own.
'I didn't know that, Clara,' I sighed. 'I haven't seen her and I don't know what she's been up to. I'm sorry.'
'What did you do to make her leave you?' Ted asked.
'Ted, don't,' Clara said with a frown.
'Nothing,' I replied. 'We both did and...said some things we shouldn't have and it just all amounted to a huge argument and she left. I was never unfaithful to her, Ted, if that's what you're thinking.'
'What are these things that you both did wrong?' he asked.
'Please,' I said. 'I'd rather Bethan tell you everything. It's not my place.'
'Well then,' Clara sighed, looking at me sympathetically. 'Let me ask you one question. Was Bethan unfaithful to you?'
'No,' I replied. 'Not that I know of. Not that I would ever believe she would do that anyway.'
'Okay,' she said, letting out a breath. 'Then I guess we'd better go find her.'
'I'm sorry,' I said.
'No need to apologise,' she said, pacing the floor and softly hugging me for a few seconds before stepping back. 'So, you're abandoning your business? You're going home because she left?'
'The business will still run,' I told her. 'My artists are fantastic and they'll keep it going for me. But umm...yeah, I can't stay here after she and I have broken up. I just need to go home.'
'Okay, son,' she whispered. 'Well, we'd better go. Where will we find her?'
'I can give you the address to her building,' I said. 'I don't know the number of her dorm room. I was going to text her friend Penny for it but I guess you guys could take her stuff for me now.'
'Yes,' Clara nodded, signalling to Ted who moved to grab the box. 'I'll call her when I'm at her building.'
'Okay,' I said, nodding.
'You take care of yourself, son,' Clara said, stroking my arm gently before turning and heading to the door.
'When you're in The Falls,' Ted said, coming over and pulling my hand into his to shake it. 'Come get your bike from me.'
'Will do,' I said with a nod. 'I'll text you the building address for Bethan's dorms.'
I watched as he followed Clara and I looked at Riley and smiled. He was hovering looking truly upset and speechless.
'See ya, kid,' I said, my voice riddled with sadness.
'Bye, Cal,' he replied, before following both of his parents and slamming the door behind him. He was mad at Bethan, I knew it.
I felt my chest aching at their departure; my second family. I loved all three of them. Now, the break up truly felt real.
I sighed and moved to the sofa, slouching down and rubbing my temples. I quickly texted Clara the address before dropping my phone to the seat and sighing. That had been too much for me to handle and now I really was feeling emotional. I couldn't wait to get to Tori's tonight so I could forget all about it.
My phone rang and I glanced down, seeing Tori's name and picking up.
'Don't tell me tonight is cancelled,' I said.
'Of course not,' she chuckled. 'Look, I told Charlie.'
'Oh. What did he say?' I asked.
'He's upset,' she said. 'He's so upset but he says he understands and he wants you guys to talk it out tonight.'
'Good,' I said, sighing in relief. 'I'm glad he's being rational.'
'Anyway, that's not why I called,' she continued. 'There's something here at the shop for you.'
'What is it?' I asked.
'Well, I haven't opened it,' she said. 'But your name is on it.'
'I'll come,' I said, getting to my feet and heading to put on shoes. 'I need to get out of this apartment.'
'You okay?' she asked.
'Bethan's family just left,' I sighed. 'They turned up here to surprise us for Christmas. They didn't have a fucking clue we weren't together.'
'She didn't tell them!' Tori gasped.
'Nope,' I said. 'In fact, she pretended we were still together. She stayed in New York for thanksgiving and told them we were spending it together just the two of us because we were both so busy.'
'What the hell is that all about?' she asked.
'I have no idea,' I sighed. 'Why the fuck would she pretend we are still together? She is the one who left!'
'Oh my god,' Tori said. 'It's so obvious.'
'Is it?' I asked, as I stepped out of the apartment and locked up.
'Girls don't tell their mom they've broken up with someone unless they mean it,' she said. 'Everybody knows that. Once you tell your mom, then it's official.'
'That's the most stupid thing I've ever heard,' I said with a scowl.
'No, really,' she said. 'She didn't tell them because she still has hope!'
'No way,' I replied. 'I don't believe that for a second. She moved into the dorms. She pays for her dorm now and she goes out partying and giving guys her number and she has a new life now.'
'That doesn't mean she's happy,' she said. 'It doesn't mean she doesn't want to get back with you.'
'Yeah, it does,' I said. 'Stop trying to give me hope so that I change my mind about leaving.'
'It's worth hoping about!' she cried.
'No, it's not,' I said, climbing into my car. 'See you soon.'
I hung up and started the engine, driving from my place down to Brooklyn where I pulled up at the shop and headed inside.
'Hey,' Charlie said, as he stood up from behind the desk and stared at me awkwardly.
'Hey,' I replied, giving a small smile.
'Dude, listen,' Charlie sighed. 'I am so fucking so-.'
'Please,' I interrupted. 'Don't even mention it.'
'Cal, what I said was so out of line,' he said.
'Yeah, it was,' I replied with a nod. 'But I gave you that fucking bruise on your face so now we're even.'
'Sounds good to me,' he said, smirking a little.
'That's settled then,' I said.
'So, get over here,' he chuckled, holding out his arms.
I walked over to him and we both hugged as we laughed, myself feeling completely relieved that things had fixed between us now.
'So, you're leaving us?' he said as we pulled apart.
'I'm not going to change my mind,' I said, warning him before he started.
'I know,' he said. 'I understand. You came here for a life with her and you don't have that now. I think I'd do the same thing.'
'Thank you,' I said.
I glanced up as Tori stepped out the archway.
'Oh, hey,' she said with a smile. 'Oh, it's right there on the desk.'
I turned and glanced down to see a little red box with a darker red bow around it and a gift tag with my name on it.
'What the fuck?' I said with a frown. 'I thought you meant it was a package or something.'
'No, it's a gift,' she said. 'Did I not say that?'
'Uhh...no,' I said, as I picked it up. It felt a little heavy and I had no idea who would be sending me gifts. It wasn't even Christmas yet.
'Well, open it,' Tori said.
'Maybe it's from a client,' Charlie said.
I pulled open the box slowly, feeling a little anxious but I wasn't sure why and I opened the lid from the box.
'Is that a Zippo?' Charlie asked.
It was indeed. It was an absolutely stunning fucking Zippo too. Gold with diagonal lines criss-crossing all over it and red diamonds on the sides.
'That's awesome,' I murmured as I studied it closer. 'What the-?'
I spotted the engraved writing on the front of it. The font was small and it had took a second to notice it but as soon as I did, I knew.
'I need a minute,' I said, pushing past Tori and heading into the back. I sat at my station where my glasses were laid on the side table and I put them on before returning my attention to the engraved message. The second I read it, I knew exactly where it was from. An all too familiar book that she had asked me to read and I had. A quote that I had spotted highlighted in her book; a quote that I had teased her about at the time. I pressed my palm against my mouth to compose myself as I finished reading the full engraving.
"With him, life was routine; without him, life was unbearable."
All my love, forever and always,
Bethan x
'Holy fuck,' I whispered to myself.
Why had she sent me this? What did this mean? The quote from her favourite book had been highlighted in it because at the time she'd said that's how life would be for her if I was no longer in it; a conversation I had completely forgotten about. She clearly hadn't. Did this mean the quote was speaking the truth? Was life unbearable for her right now? Was Tori right about her not telling her family because she still had hope?
'Are you okay?' Tori asked.
'No,' I said, feeling breathless as I stared down at the lighter.
'Let me see it,' she said, holding out her hand.
I continued to stare into space as I handed it to her and my eyes were fixated on the floor as the hundreds of questions spun around in my head.
'Wow,' she said. 'What movie is that line from?'
'To Kill a Mockingbird,' I told her. 'It's Bethan's favourite novel.'
'How the hell do you know about quotes from novels?' she asked.
'I've read it,' I replied. 'She asked me to.'
'You're full of surprises,' she chuckled. 'Well then, don't you think that says it all?'
'I don't know,' I sighed.
'It does,' she said, rolling her eyes. 'She's practically telling you her life is unbearable without you!'
'Should I call her?' I asked.
'Won't she be with her parents now?' she asked.
'Maybe,' I sighed. 'Did she drop this off?'
'No, it had been posted when I got here this morning,' she said. 'She must have come late last night or early this morning.'
'I need to talk to her,' I said.
'No,' she replied. 'Let her come to you.'
'I don't want to play games, Tori,' I sighed.
'Look, at least let her have her day with her parents,' Tori said. 'They're probably going to bring down the heavens upon her for lying to them so don't add to her stress.'
'You're right,' I said. 'I'll wait until they go home and then she and I can talk about what the hell is going on in her head.'
'So, when are they leaving?' she asked.
'I don't even know,' I sighed.
'Looks like you may not be leaving Monday after all,' she said with a grin. 'You need to stay here to talk to Bethan.'
'I'm not unpacking,' I told her. 'I'll leave it in boxes until I've spoken to her.'
'So if she says the quote is the truth, what will that mean?' she asked. 'If she wants you back, are you staying here to get back with her.'
'I don't know,' I replied. 'I really do not fucking know.'
'Well, leave her to spend the weekend with her parents and then we can think about it,' Tori said.
'Yeah,' I sighed, my head feeling completely blagged by now.
'Just come to my place tonight and have fun and get drunk before you have to deal with all of this,' she said. 'You could still be leaving on Monday so we still want some time with you.'
'Of course,' I said. 'I'll be there.'
'Great,' she said with a grin that took up most of her face with joy. 'Because I can't wait to introduce you to my official other half!'