"Tour starts tomorrow." Deno commented as Blair shoved a ketchup drenched fry into her mouth. She had finally found time amidst her crazy schedule to make it over to see him.
"I know."
"You seem nervous."
"I know." She repeated with a sigh.
He gave her a pointed look that told her there would be no escaping this conversation.
"It's Blake." Blair admitted.
"Ah yes, boy trouble, how surprising." He said, his voice taking on that specific wise quality that made him sound like he had a thousand years experience and would know exactly what she needed to hear.
"Last time we talked what had happened?"
"You had just gotten back from Christmas with his family and you were conflicted with what to do about your relationship." He gently reminded her.
"Yeah, well, then I guess not much has changed. He confronted me about it because I had distanced myself a little bit. It's just, this tour is such a great opportunity for me. I don't want to mess it up. I've waited a long time for this."
"You can't let the fear of failure or heartbreak stop you from living your life, Blair."
"I know, there's just so much at risk."
"So, what did you tell him when you two talked about it?"
"I told him that I do have feelings for him but that I thought it would be best if I waited to act on those feelings until after tour."
"Uh-huh, and how did he take that?" Deno said with an intonation that told her he had a good guess of how that had gone.
"He got angry and has barely spoken to me since. Which is bullshit. We have to work together and he begged me to do this duet with him, now we haven't even rehearsed it a single time and I'm freaking out about it."
"Men, are strange creatures my dear. If I had to guess I would say you bruised his ego. I get the feeling he's not used to being turned down nor is he used to making himself vulnerable. Sounds like he had really been working to change those things for you and now he probably feels a little inadequate. I'm sure he's hurt but he'll come around. I would recommend you give him a little space though."
"I'm just not sure how much space you can give someone that you're sharing a tour bus with." She sighed.
•
Blair stared at the enormous bus parked in front of her, feeling both incredibly excited and a little intimidated by the whole experience of leaving for tour. Her nerves were only amplified by the knowledge that soon she would have to come face to face with Blake, there would be no escaping him in such close quarters, and they would have to figure something out.
She still didn't know what she was supposed to do. She cared for him so much but she would never forgive herself if she were to jeopardize the future of her career for a boy.
Even if he was incredibly dreamy and made her heart race.
She threw her bags on top of the pile that was on the pavement waiting to be loaded into the storage area before heading for the door with her small duffel bag containing her things for on the bus.
She punched in the code Easton had texted her and ascended the stairs, immediately feeling the stares of the four boys who were strewn around the front lounge.
"Um, hi?" She said cautiously, trying to read the room.
"Hey Blair!" Dex said happily as if nothing was out of the ordinary and she felt herself relax, if only slightly. Kace and Rian offered hellos as well before she finally turned her attention to Blake.
"Hi Blake."
"Blair." He nodded, calmly. He kept his vision on anything but her obviously looking to avoid her.
They couldn't act like this. This bus wasn't big enough for the two of them to barely be speaking and if they couldn't talk to each other they damn sure couldn't sing together.
"Can we talk?" She tried.
"I don't know, Blair. Can we?" His tone was sarcastic, harsh and she hated the way he could make his words towards her so pointed. He'd never shown her the side of him the press had warned of, but she was scared she was about to meet him.
"Please?" She begged. She sounded pathetic but she couldn't even care about that in the moment, she was desperate.
He huffed and stood to his feet. Unwillingly, leading her back to the lounge at the rear of the bus. She tossed her duffle onto the bunk she'd been assigned before making her way back to join him. Closing the partition to give them some privacy, she took a deep breath and then turned to face him.
"Talk." He spat.
She flinched and scrunched her face in reaction to his harsh inflection as she took a seat across from him.
"We've got to work something out. This whole 'we don't talk' thing isn't working for me. When I said we needed to wait this wasn't what I meant."
"What is it you wanted, Blair? Huh? You tell me you want me to kiss you. Then you don't. You say not to overthink it, then you jump off a damn cliff with the overthinking. You say you don't want to risk being kicked off the tour, I have your contract rewritten so that can't happen. I go through all of that and you say you need time. What the fuck do you want from me Blair? I'm only human."
His eyes were glassy and he was nearly screaming by the time he finished. She had been warned about his temper before but she had never been witness to it flaring.
"I—I don't know." She said shaking her head as she looked down and nervously played with her fingers, her own eyes brimming with tears already. "I guess I want you to understand that I've only been around this industry about five minutes and I'm trying to make a name for myself. I want you to understand that I want people to know me as Blair Andrews the singer. Not, 'Blair Andrews, Blake Everett's girlfriend, or latest hookup, or whatever it is you have in mind.' I wanted to keep things like they had been so that I could focus on this tour and being at my best but I also wanted to kiss you so bad it hurt. I don't know how to have all the things I want right now so I thought I should start by having us each focus on the music and let the rest fall where it may. I just didn't foresee or want you getting hurt in the process. I'm sorry."
Blake pulled at the roots of his hair letting his head fall towards his knees as he got lost in his own thoughts.
"It felt a whole lot like rejection if I'm being honest, B." He raised his head, searching until their eyes locked. "I told you how much I feared being hurt and when you said you didn't want to pursue things, it just seemed a lot like a nice way of saying 'thanks but no thanks'. I don't think I can handle another heartbreak Blair. The last time I did this it nearly fucking killed me. Look at what people say about me now. So, I think it's for the best if we just do our best to be cordial on the tour. We can still sing our song and I promise we'll rehearse it before tomorrow, but I don't think it can go back to how it was before. After the tour is over we'll part ways and call it what it was, a nice detour from reality. I thought I could be this better person, the one I used to be, but the truth is, maybe that's just not me anymore ."
"Blake, stop. We can figure this out."
"We just did, Blair." With that he stood up and walked back towards the front of the bus leaving her in shambles wondering what the fuck had happened to them.
•
"Another!" Blake yelled to the bartender.
The bartender was male, clean shaven and appeared not much older than Blake. He slid another glass of whiskey on the rocks down to Blake who practically inhaled the liquid enjoying the way it burned all the way down. The whiskey didn't sting near as bad as Blair not wanting to be with him or the way she'd looked at him as they'd practiced their duet earlier in the day.
He closed his eyes and savored the fire. This was who he was now. He was rude, arrogant, and an alcoholic. He had spent two months pretending to be someone else, trying to deny the truth, but he couldn't do that any longer. Blair didn't want him, no one did, and the sooner he realized that he would always be alone, the better.
He tilted the glass towards the bartender and within moments his fifth glass was in front of him. He took his time with this one, spinning his body so that his back was against the bar top, he looked around the room for anyone he thought might fancy a quickie in the bathroom.
A flash of blonde to his right caught his attention and he tried to force his eyes to focus as it moved towards him. It couldn't be her, could it? He hadn't told anyone where he was coming.
"Blake? Blake? Come on. Let's go back to the bus, don't do this."
It was her. He stared blankly at her as she wrapped her thin fingers tightly around his wrist pulling with all her force, trying to urge him along after her.
He used his strength to push his hand down, freeing himself from her grip.
She whirled around to face him and her eyes told of her disappointment.
What else was new? He was a fuck up, he disappointed everyone, it was really only a matter of time before he disappointed her too.
"Just go Blair, I belong here."
"No, you don't. You're trying to prove to yourself, or me, or God knows who, that you're not worthy of love and it's bullshit. I'm sorry you're upset but this isn't going to solve anything. Now, walk your ass to the car before I go make Rian come in and haul you out of here."
He sighed and stumbled after her, not knowing if he should be pissed that she was telling him what to do or ecstatic that she had come looking for him.
"B?" He called after her when they were outside. "How'd you know where to find me?"
"I know you, Blake. The real you, not this person you see yourself as, now get in the damn car."
He followed her orders and slumped against the window as Rian gave the Uber driver the address to drop them off at. He wasn't sure what this meant. Nothing was really answered, but she had come after him when he tried to spiral downward. That had to count for something, right?
An: so that chapter was kind of jam packed.
Where do they go from here?
Do you think Blair is right tone hesitant to take things further with Blake?
What should they do to move forward?
The first show of tour is the next chapter, how do you think that will go?
Vote and comment!
Ily
Sav 🖤