Sugar
Two days later..
I was officially a new woman. Knowing I had lost my virginity was really hard on me at first. I cried about it to Amir and was beating myself up on how easily I gave it away but he reassured me that he wasn't leaving me again. He was here to stay this time. It was easy for most females to go throwing it back with no remorse but for me it was different because how much I treasured my body. Before my daddy passed away he always reminded me my body was a temple and it just stuck with me. It added just a bit more value to me knowing nobody had me before. Plus, I had always been scared someone would just take it then leave.
It was kind of hard to believe what Amir was saying since I hadn't had anyone actually stick around or just really keep it a hundred with me but I needed someone badly. My head hadn't been in the right space and I didn't want to be alone. I was actually afraid of being alone right now. Within just these two days together I felt whole when I was around him. A certain sense of security in his presence. I was in a dark place and I don't know if it was because I gave myself to him or what but I felt closer to him in a way. I was just glad to know I had someone I was already comfortable to stick by my side. Even if it was just temporary.
I had gotten up for the day and showered putting on some of clothes I had brought with me. Amir had promised to take me out shopping today but I quickly declined. I had dealt with enough of Ant taking care of me and wanted to find opportunity to make my own money. I didn't need him to do anything more then what he'd already done. Amir seemed to be an extremely busy man. Hell, his phone was always ringing off the hook which he told me was strictly business. It went off a lot more then Anthony's I could admit. If Amir was getting money like that I wanted in, I still had plans to get my own place and this could be opportunity.
Within these days of being together we haven't spent very much time together as I would've liked. The time we had spent though was getting high as hell and fucking. It had kept my mind off things because when we smoke I'd almost lose sense of my surroundings and soon pass out. It didn't sound good but it sure as hell felt damn good. When I'd wake up it'll usually be the middle of the night and soon he'd have to be out again. I felt myself getting back addicted to smoking so he always kept me a blunt pre rolled if he'd left. And whatever weed he was slanging I could never finish it anyway. It was becoming my new coping mechanism that fast.
I had received a call from Patrice this morning while I was getting ready for the day. My heart quickened in my chest afraid that I could be in serious trouble knowing she had found Chad. So I ignored her first phone call until I received her text messages next. She insisted I call her back she had good be news to tell. She explained to me that I didn't have to be afraid and I had did the right thing and to call her if I could as soon as possible so I can speak with OJ. The message seemed legit so I decided to take the chance of calling him and at the first sound of his voice came the waterworks for us both. If you couldn't tell by now I'm kinda a emotional gangster.
I was so glad to hear my little brothers voice but even more happy to hear that he'd forgiven me. He didn't really care that I had left because Patrice explained to him it was for me to make a better life for us to be together. All OJ wanted to make sure is that I was coming back to him. He was just afraid of being alone just like me. He explained to me that he loved Patrice but he wanted his real family too. I was the only real family he had left. I promised him that I would make my way back to him asap. Hopefully I could convince Amir soon on taking me back to visit. Patrice had asked that I contact her again soon with dinner plans so we can discuss some things.. along with Amir.
I was hesitant on bringing Amir along being that he was the one that pistol whipped Chad. It sounded like Patrice ass was trying to be the feds and this wasn't that. I wanted to trust her so I decided to wait for the right moment to talk to Amir about tagging along. It probably would have to wait until the next time we had sex. The dude would buy me a unicorn if I asked him during sex. Deciding to set the mood beforehand since that wasn't the only thing we had to talk about I wanted to make him a nice breakfast to put him in a even better mood.
Breakfast was his favorite and I was starving myself so it was a win win. If I couldn't do shit else I could cook. I just so happened to specialize in breakfast foods. Rummaging through his fridge I was immediately was disappointed. This nigga ain't have shit in there but a few bottles of water, a two liter of pop, a few condiments, and a stale ass half eaten box of pizza.
This is why I couldn't stand drug dealers. Too use to eating Mickey D's on the road. What I loved most about Amir though is he seemed to really trust me while Ant always had rules and regulations. He had left me his black Charger to drive if I needed anything and spare money. He must've knew a bitch was gone starve. It was a nice day out already. It was the kind of a day where you could where shorts or a jeans depending on how you felt. Deciding against a coat I grabbed the keys off the round wooden table and the spare cash to head out.
Luckily I didn't have to drive too far. The grocery store Baronees was less then a ten minute drive from Amir's spot. Baronees wasn't yo average grocery store. Amir lived in the hood, our old neck of the woods to be exact. He claimed he liked to keep his business close where he felt most at home at. He also wanted me staying somewhere to where I was familiar with which I thought was kinda cute.
Baronees sold it all and was cheap as hell. But the thing I hated most was the guys. They was so damn rude and always gawking at females, most of them just posted at the store. Although this was close and convenient. Hopping out the car I parked closer to the back entrance so I wouldn't be the center of attention. I was dressed down today but it didn't matter. I had no butt or titties but somehow my little lumps managed to excite someone. There was a elder man coming out the store with a brown paper bag in his hand who held the door open for me to go in. I thanked him before he went on his way.
"Aye mamas, I can be a gentleman too! I hold doors and ass!" I heard a raspy voice call out while other men chuckled along with him. Ignoring him I let the door swing shut behind me. Hate niggas.
I literally needed everything. I had to get milk, eggs, butter, bacon, pancake mix, and sausage. I was planning on making Amir stuffed pancakes so I started making my way down the isles and grab all that I needed trying to hurry up feeling eyes on me.
"Sugar? I never thought I was gone see you again." I looked over my shoulder immediately recognizing his voice.
"Yeah and you wouldn't have if I ain't have to get this damn milk." I retorted snatching the milk from the fridge. I turned around quickly trying to get the hell out of dodge as all those emotions began to surface again. What I should've been doing is whooping his ass with this jug right now.
"Nah, you ain't finna walk away from me like that. You already did that shit once already." Ant grabbed ahold of my shoulder making me face him.
"I swear to God if you don't let me go I'm screaming rape." I said through clenched teeth.
"That's cold Sugar. You owe me a conversation, you know what happened wasn't my fault. Atleast admit that shit if you ain't gone say shit else." I sighed deeply knowing he was not gone let me shop in peace. He was right though.. if the shoe was on the other foot I would have at least wanted that. One of us needed some kind of peace.
"I get it, Kyra a grown ass hoe and you couldn't make her get help. I thought about it and I don't blame you. Doesn't change the fact that you buried my child in the fucking backyard as if she was a dog!" I yelled and his eyes widened.
"Well, yeah let me just call 911. Shout it to them too big mouth ass." He stared at em as if I was dumb. "That shit wasn't easy for me, but I can't go back and I wasn't about to let you go nowhere near a fucking prison."
I rolled my eyes feeling the tears burning my eyes. "Nice seeing you Anthony." I just wanted to go home.
"Nah," He pulled me closer to him by the small of my back and I felt the butterflies in my stomach. "Where you been? How you been? This a nice shirt on you. I been looking for it." He smirked. His voice was low, raspy and from the way I had gotten wet I knew I needed to go like now.
"A- Ant I have to go." I tried to move back but he held his grip on me tighter.
"I miss you. Come home? I been getting help not for you or nothing but for myself and I know that I could be better. I won't hurt you. I just want to see what we could be." He looked me in my eyes and I must've been hearing shit incorrectly. I froze as his lips got closer to mines, my chest heaved up and down and I melted when his lips touched mines.
Dropping the milk my hands went to each side of his face as I kissed him back. "I-- I miss you too." My mouth moved before my brain when we pulled away. "B-but I have a boyfriend and I- I need to go." I seen him let me go and frown at those words.
Disregarding what I came here for I footed it towards the door. "I hope that bitch ass nigga know how to shoot back, better tell that nigga stay low. Especially if ya ass ran back to Amir. Don't think I ain't hear you mention his name." He yelled out and I looked back to him seeing just how serious he was before he tapped him gun. I shook my head and stormed out.
I got my act together and made it back home. I sighed seeing Amir car in the driveway. My mind was everywhere and my heart was now confused once again. I hate the fact that I had even seen Anthony. I hated how he made me feel on the inside. I just had given myself to Amir and now the Lord just had let me see Ant again.
Taking a deep breath I made my way into the house ad bumped right into Amir. "Where you been?" He asked and I frowned.
"The store. Back up." I tried to get around him but he trapped me.
He laughed. "You ain't got no bags in ya hands and you smell just like a nigga. I look dumb to you?" He nose flared and before I could respond he'd put his hand around my neck and squoze so tight I couldn't breathe.