Liam
We have been at Miguel's exhibition for some time now, since Bea was having fun and didn't want to leave. Although, it was starting to get a bit late and way past her usual bedtime.
To be honest, I didn't want to leave myself. I was having a nice time surrounded by friends once again and I had kind of forgotten what that was like.
Over the years, I had put myself in this place of seclusion. Although I had Bea, who is my everything, there was this slight loneliness I felt, not being able to share that laugh with friends, joke about, share things.
It was fair to say that I had put this on myself, but right now, I was beginning to feel like the old Liam.
This anger and bitterness that I had kept within, was fading.
"Hey, man. You good?" I turned around to see Serena's fiancé, Will, standing behind me with a curious smile on his face.
I gave him a polite nod. "Yeah, I'm good. I'm just looking for Bea," I said, moving my head around to look for my daughter who had been with Rena the whole night, refusing to even leave her side.
Will let out a chuckle. "She's clung onto Serena right now. Not sure which one of them is the one not willing to let go," he said.
"Probably Bea," I replied, knowing my daughter all too well and the stubbornness she had, along with the way to make anyone bend to her will, with just a look.
Will looked at me with a hesitant look for a moment. "There was actually something I wanted to say to you," he said.
I nodded slowly a him, "Okay...?"
Will and I hadn't really spoken much and if Serena wasn't around, not more than two words would be spoken between us. Therefore, I was a little confused on what he wanted to say. More so, why did he look so apprehensive in saying it.
"Serena will probably kill me for saying any of this, so I would appreciate it, if this stays in between us?" He asked, which had left me even more confused and a little worried.
I mean, he was Serena's fiancé, I assumed she told him everything and part of that everything probably was my dickish behaviour towards her at the beginning.
"Sure," I said.
"I'm just-...I'm glad that you and Serena are friends again, so thank you for giving her that," Will told me and I was taken aback by his words.
Definitely didn't expect that.
"Oh, I-" I began to speak, but was truly lost for words in this moment.
"No, it's okay," Will shook his head, raising his hand slightly. "This is actually none of my business. It's between the two of you and Serena is more than capable of handling herself, which is one of the things I like about her."
I let out a laugh at his words. "Yeah, she's always been the, 'I can do it myself' type. Forever independent."
That was the thing about Serena, she was so determined to do things on her own, getting through things, without relying on being dependent on others. It was both admirable and frustrating.
When we were younger, she always wanted to get things done on her own. Even if I were to offer help, she'd brush me off, usually saying I'd just slow her down. Even when she was fixing up her bike and had no clue on how to use the tools, she still wanted to do it alone.
"She still is," Will laughed with me, seeming more at ease with my reaction to his words. "Again, it's not my place to say any of this but I'm still going to put my foot in my mouth, because it's just something I do."
"Go ahead," I told him, wanting to hear what he had to say.
"That girl really loves your daughter, much like if she were her own. I don't have much of a right to say this to you, but please, even if you're ever mad with Serena, please don't keep Bea from her," he finished, looking a little breathless.
Will seemed to be back to a nervous state, like he was before. I'm assuming he didn't know what my reaction would be or if I would take to his words kindly, especially when he brought Bea into this.
Admittedly, when it comes to Bea, my guards go up, and I'm on edge. I'm probably too protective of my daughter, but I can't help it.
I cleared my throat, before replying to Will. "I was an idiot before, but I think I've become better, or at least I'm trying to be. However, if we do ever have some kind of disagreement, I wouldn't involve Bea in that. I won't keep her away."
I wasn't entirely sure where that was coming from, maybe Rena may have mentioned something, but I didn't want her to think I was that cruel.
"Thank you," Will smiled, gratefully and smiled back. "Wow, I probably sounded so sappy there," he added, looking a little grossed out with himself.
"You're good," I assured him. "I appreciate you speaking to me and I'm glad Serena has someone like you."
She deserved to be happy and taken care of and Will seemed like a good enough guy to be there for her.
"Before anything, she's my friend. Looking out for her is just included in that package," Will replied and I just nodded in agreement.
***
I couldn't help but carry on to think about Will's words, even after we parted ways from each other.
To be honest, it mostly just reminded me of how much of a crappy friend I had been to Rena. I should've been there, looking out for her, but I seriously dropped the ball on that.
I don't think I ever truly cherished the friendship I had with her, and only really thought about it when she wasn't in my life anymore. It's part of the reason why it hurt so much when she wasn't there, because I missed her. A lot.
From where I stood, I could see three happy couples.
Chris was looking down at Miguel, who was fussing over his tie and although he seemed to not care as much about his tie, he looked like he was happy to see Miguel fuss over it. Miguel was waving his arms about as he spoke, but it only seemed to amuse Chris further.
Near them, stood Sara and Danny. She looked a little tired, but also ate a cupcake, rather messily. Danny smiled watching her, taking out a tissue to wipe her chin, for the frosting that had gotten on her. He placed an arm around her waist, hand resting on her stomach, protectively over their child.
I did miss being like that with someone.
When I glanced over to the other side of the gallery, Rena stood there with Will. They were standing with their backs facing me. Rena's head was resting on his shoulder, as his arm was around her waist.
At least she was happy. Rena deserved that.
A tug on my blazer had me look down and I saw my princess looking up at me, her eyelids a little droopy.
I picked her up in my arms and instinctively, she wrapped her little arms around my neck, and laid her head on my shoulder.
"You okay, baby?" I asked and then felt her head nod against my shoulder.
"Tired," she mumbled, letting out a small yawn.
I smiled, kissing the top of her head. "Alright, it's probably time for us to go home now."
I went to the others, saying goodbye them and now lastly, I had to say bye to Rena and Will.
"Hey," Rena instantly smiled.
I couldn't help but smile back.
"Hey," I replied. "So I think it's time for us to leave, Bea's starting to get a little sleepy," I said, gesturing down with my eyes, at her in my arms.
"Oh, bless," Rena cooed, as she looked at Bea. "It's probably past her bedtime at this point," she added.
"A little yeah," I said, with a slight chuckle. "I've said bye to the others, just wanted to say to you guys as well."
Rena moved closer, placing a kiss on Bea's cheek, giving it am affectionate stroke after.
"Bye, my little bumblebee. Thank you for coming," she said.
I could feel Bea move in my arms and then she leaned forward to give Serena a kiss on the cheek too.
"Bye, Serena. You're pretty," Bea said.
At this moment I slightly envied my daughter's ability to just be able to naturally compliment someone. She didn't even fumble or stutter. At my big age, I still couldn't do that.
"You really are the cutest," Rena said looking at Bea. Her nose scrunched up in the cutest way as she said the words.
Wait. What?
Dammit, Liam. Stop thinking like that.
"Goodbye, your highness. Till we meet again," Will bowed in front of Bea, which earned a giggle from her and thankfully snapped me out of my delirious thoughts.
Will then looked at me, reaching his hand out. "See you, man. It was good meeting you again," he said.
"Likewise," I replied, shaking his hand.
I glanced at Rena, who was already looking at me.
"Bye, Rena," I smiled. I wasn't sure on what the protocol was right now.
Do I shake her hand too? Or is that weird? Plus, with Bea in my arms, it's slightly difficult.
I was still in my thoughts, when Rena moved forward. "Bye, Liam," she smiled and then hugged me from the side.
As if my body was just used to this, my arm wrapped around her waist and hugged her a little closer.
Quickly letting go, I smiled at her, not wanting to make a fool out of myself.
I really need to get out of here.
With one last smile, Bea and I began to make our way home.
***
"There we are. All tucked in," I patted down the blanket that Bea was underneath. "Want a story?"
Bea shook her head in response. "No, I'm okay."
"Okay then," I smiled at her. She must really be tired if she didn't want a story like she usually did.
Bea then held my hand. "Daddy, why can't Serena come live with us?"
"What?" I asked, laughing a little at how serious she was when she asked the question.
"I like her, a lot," Bea smiled. "I want her to live with us too."
Moving the stray hairs away from her face, I smiled at her. "She has her own place, darling. She can't live with us," I tried to explain to Bea.
"Was Mummy like Serena?" Bea asked.
Had this been sometime back and she asked me, I would've either be sad, angry or just walked out to avoid the question. Not handling it in the best way at all.
But now, it's different. I've understood that it's unfair for me to not talk about Julie, because of my own selfish reasons.
Bea deserves to know her mother and have her questions answered too.
"Mummy would've loved you just like Serena does, I'm sure of that," I told Bea.
Weirdly, she then frowned after my reply. "How come we didn't see Serena before?"
Now the real answer would probably be a little explicit for my little girl, since it would include a lot of cussing. About myself.
"I was...I guess it's because I was mean to her a long time ago and she was upset with me," I tried to keep it PG for her.
Bea's frown didn't leave her face and her little brows furrowed together.
"Why were you mean to her?" She asked, with a whole lot of confusion on her face.
"I got scared," I confessed.
Bea looked up at me, with those big green eyes. "Why?"
I sighed. "It was after your Mummy...went to heaven and became an angel. I was really sad and you were just a baby. Rena came to see us and helped me, a lot. She was there for me, but then she said had to leave, and I got scared."
That would remain one of my big regrets, just letting her walk away like that.
"You didn't want her to go," Bea said. My baby was definitely smart, which I know she didn't get from me.
"No, I didn't," I admitted. "I wanted her to stay and that was selfish of me. I got scared and angry, so I was mean. I was wrong."
I'm not sure how my four year old daughter had become my therapist all of a sudden, but it did feel good talking about all of this.
"Did you say sorry?" She asked.
"Not right away. But I have," I said, recalling that meeting at the park.
"You should always say sorry when you're mean," Bea told me, in a serious voice.
"I should," I nodded, agreeing with her words.
Just when I thought that was the end of it and Bea was too tired, she seemed to have to a burst of energy and a bunch of new questions.
"When did you meet her? Because Sara said, Serena knew you from a very long time ago," Bea questioned.
"I was five when I met her," I informed her, and Bea's eyes went big.
She gasped. "That's nearly me."
"Just about," I chuckled. "I hurt myself in front her house and she helped me, and we became friends, but then I stopped being her friend."
Bea tilted her to the side a little. "Why?"
"Because I was very stu-silly," I corrected myself before saying something inappropriate in front of Bea.
"I didn't appreciate her enough, but I still tried to be there for her. I then begged to be her friend again, around the same time I saw your Mummy. I was probably selfish for asking for her friendship at the time, but even if she didn't help me, I'd still beg to be her friend again. Of course, Rena was still kind and offered me her friendship and agreed to help me as well. It's just the kind of person she was, and I guess still is," I smiled.
I guess Bea was getting her story time and I was finally being able to get some things off my chest, without anger being the main reason.
Bea smiled too. "I love Serena, Daddy. I think she's really nice and pretty and sweet and she always gives me the biggest hugs," she told me, stretching out her arms, to gesture just how big of a hug Rena gave her.
"I think you should tell her that, when you see her," I told Bea, tapping her nose.
"Will she be happy?" Bea asked.
I nodded. "She will be over the moon, baby."
"You should love Serena too, Daddy. She makes you smile again," Bea said.
I nearly choked on air at her words, but instead let out a nervous laugh trying to avoid her words.
"You were grumpy before, but now you smile more," Bea told me.
I hadn't realised that she noticed things like that.
My own daughter thought of me as grumpy. I never cared what other people thought of me, not caring to smile for their sake, and somehow I had included my daughter in with other people as well.
"I like when you smile," she added.
I placed a hand against her chubby little cheek. "I'll try to smile a lot more now, Bea. For you."
"Serena can help you. She always makes me smile," she then told me.
"I will ask her for help then," I said, tucking her back in once more and gave her a goodnight kiss. "Go to sleep now, Bea."
"Night Daddy," she mumbled, turning to her side, as I turned off the bedside lamp.
"Goodnight, sweetheart," I smiled, gently stroking her hair back, until she was completely asleep.
When she began to lightly snore, I held back a chuckle and kissed her head once more, before walking out the room.
I have the best reason of all to smile now. Because Bea likes it.
***
Hope you liked the read :)