"Are you excited to meet the new recruits, Y/n? I bet your friends will be there too." Petra said as she helped you put on your straps.
"Mm-hmm." You nodded.
You haven't heard from Armin or Mikasa ever since the Eren titan incident, the court. Geez, so many things happened.
"There! You're all set!" Petra smiled.
You nodded in thanks and went to put on your boots. You can never get the straps on right, so someone usually has to fix it for you or at least point it out.
"Y/n, don't get the wrong idea. But I always wanted to ask about your past. You see...I already told you mine, so I thought..."
You raised an eyebrow. Why this now...?
"It's just...I haven't gotten the chance to really know much about you. And given we're going on an expedition. Anything can happen...you don't have to if you don't want to..." She explained.
You thought about it for a moment. As much as you hate remembering that day, Petra was right. Anything could happen on this expedition. Might as well spill the beans.
Petra has already told you about her past. She grew up here with her parents and decided to join the scouts. She told you a lot about Commander Shadis(Glad you weren't the only one who thought he was insane.) and how her and Oluo were childhood friends.
She writes letters to her father a lot so they can keep in touch. Other than that, you haven't mentioned anything about yours.
After a while of thinking, you pointed over to your journal. Petra got the message.
"Oh! Of course!" she quickly grabbed your journal and handed it to you.
You let out a shaky sigh and began to write.
'I'm sorry if I haven't mentioned about my past.'
"Oh, Y/n...it's fine. If you don't feel comfortable writing about it, it's not by force."
You continued to write.
'I don't really remember much when I was born. I don't even remember my parents. The only sort of parents I had were a kind elderly couple raising me. My grandparents, I like to call them. According to them, they found me outside with an eye injury.'
"Oh Y/n..." Petra said.
"..." It hurt to lie to her for the most part.
'When I finally recovered, they asked me my name, but I couldn't even talk. Nothing came out. No matter how hard I tried, nothing came out. They called a doctor and he confirmed that my vocal cords were severely damaged and there's a small chance I would be able to talk again.'
You stare blankly at the page before writing again.
'It didn't bother me much though. The tried asking me about my parents, but I explained to them I don't even remember my parents. And from that day on, they took care of me. Well, until I met Eren, Mikasa, and Armin. They were like older siblings to me.'
"Older siblings? How old are you, Y/n?"
I held up my fingers to show her the numbers one and four.
"14!?" she said in disbelief.
'My birthday comes late! I'm gonna be 15 in a few weeks!' You argued.
"Well...then happy early birthday!"
You rolled your eyes in amusement before continuing.
'For the longest time, that has been my life. Until...the fall of Wall Maria came. I was with Eren, Mikasa, and Armin at the time. Then the next thing I knew, there was a bright flash and an ugly titan face appeared upon the walls, a huge crash was heard and the walls broke. Everything was chaotic. There were titans everywhere. People were screaming and running away. I ran to my grandparents house, but a titan was already there. My grandpa picked me up and ran me to the docks, my grandmother didn't make it. A titan grabbed her already. By the time we got to the docks, the boats were full and my grandpa was forced to give me away. I never saw him again.'
You blinked back tears before continuing to write.
'I never found my friends, so I was by myself until I was upcoming 12. I was old enough to join the scouts and decided to start a fresh new life from there. But then I met Eren, Mikasa, and Armin again. And I met new friends, so let's just say my life was looking up again.'
"Oh Y/n...I'm sorry."
You closed your journal and waved your hand.
'It's alright.' But you were trying to fight back tears.
Petra hugged you tightly.
"I won't ever abandon you. That's a promise."
"A promise that even you might not keep..." You thought.
"We should probably get going."
"Yeah..."
"Oh, and before we go..!"
"Hm?"
"I heard you and Eren talking by the staircase again"
Oh...
"I swear you two are going to get in trouble if you keep sneaking off quietly to places when it's supposed to be lights out. What's got you guys doing that?"
"...*Gasp!*" She gasped suddenly.
"Are you two...dating?"
"..." Your eyes slowly widened in discomfort.
"You two are a couple, aren't you!?" She squealed a bit.
"Nu-huh!!" You yelped.
"No, no, no, no!" You thought while shaking your head.
You quickly left the room while Petra followed to tease you more.
...
You pulled your horse, Widow, out from her stable. You heard she barely makes a sound, which is why you two are a perfect match. Her coat is beautiful too!
"How long are you going to stand there for, newbie!? Come on, we got to go." Oluo said.
You ignored his mean comments. You know he doesn't mean it. He's just trying to act tough.
You've been around him long enough to know that he cares about you in his own way.
You nodded and followed quickly behind him, Eren was already outside the stables waiting for you.
The place was crowded with many scouts. Some you never seen before. Which meant there were some new recruits here.
"Y/n! Look! I see Armin and Mikasa!" Eren called out.
Your ears perked up. They're here!? Already!?
"Hey Oluo, can we leave for a sec? We see some our friends." Eren asks.
"Tsk, whatever. Just make it quick."
"Can't you be nice for at least a little while!?" You thought.
Eren ran off and you quickly followed.
"Armin! Mikasa!" Eren called out.
Their eyes widened slightly, they looked to see Eren running towards. You don't think they saw you yet because Eren was blocking you from their side of view.
Him and his tall height.
"Eren!" Armin called.
"How have you guys been? It felt like forever since I've seen you two."
"Eren! Are you okay!?"
"Uh..yeah. Why?"
"I'm going to kill that little bastard for hurting you."
"You mean Captain Levi?"
"Hey...where's Y/n?" Armin asked.
Before Eren can reply, you stepped out from behind Eren; an annoyed expression on your face.
"Oh...sorry." Armin apologized awkwardly.
"Y/n! What happened to your face?" Mikasa said while immediately grasping onto your face.
You were confused for a moment until you realized she was talking about the bandage on your cheek.
The bruises that supposedly healed mysteriously.
"Oh right...those were also from...Captain Levi" Eren became nervous saying that.
"He's been hurting her!?"
"Training her!" Eren corrected.
"Right. That must explain the rumors then."
"Rumors? What rumors?"
"A rumor began that Y/n was being trained specifically under Captain Levi. Not many were really surprised after what happened with Commander Shadis." Armin explained.
Armin went close to Eren and said something quietly, you didn't know what he said. But judging by Eren's face, he didn't like it one bit.
Mikasa finally pulled away.
"Training her? So what!? That gives me no excuse to treat you like this!" She spoke.
"Apparently I heard from Section Commander that he was ordered by Commander Erwin to do so." Eren explained.
"Why would Commander Erwin order something like that?" Armin asked.
"I don't know. Captain Levi said something about living up to her potential."
"Potential...?"
Silence filled the air. You could tell they were both confused and scared.
Armin was about to say something, but someone interrupted you all.
"Eren! Y/n! Hey!"
You all turned around to see Connie, Sasha, Reiner, and Bertholdt all there.
"Hey, you guys all made it." Eren said.
You looked around to find Jean standing there. Your eyes widened. What was he doing here? You thought he was going to the Military Police?
Eren followed your gaze. He was quite shocked too.
"Horseface? What are you doing here?"
Jean growled a bit.
"I changed my mind, got a problem with that?"
"You seemed pretty determined on joining the M.Ps."
Wait, if he's here. Then Marco should be, right!?
"Hey, where's Marco?" Eren asked the question that you were wondering.
Soon everyone got quiet, sadness took over their faces. Jean avoided eye contact from everyone. Your eyes widened.
No...
"The day when Wall Rose was attacked...Marco...didn't make it...Jean found him eaten in half the time when Eren transformed into a titan. We were doing body clean up."
Your heart sank. Marco....
Poor Jean. He was the closest to him.
You made your way towards him but as you did, you sensed something.
It was a sense...of guilt?
You turned your face towards Reiner and Bertholdt. They seemed to be avoiding eye contact with everyone. Their facial expressions read like they knew something.
Your eyebrows furrowed. Did they have something to do with this?
Your suspicion raised.
You shook your head. Now wasn't the time. Jean recently lost his best friend...
You made it to Jean and hugged him tightly. He slightly gasped.
"I'm sorry..."
Jean immediately hugged you back, you can hear him crying silently into your shoulder.
You patted his back comfortingly, letting Jean cry into your shoulder for a few minutes. He finally pulled away, revealing his tear-stained face.
"Jean..." You thought.
Jean sniffed, wiping his eyes with his sleeve.
"Thank you..." He said quietly.
You felt eyes on you, you noticed Eren staring at you and Jean's closeness.
Your then remembered his reaction when you jokingly signed him that you liked Jean.
He looked appalled, wondering why and how you even have feelings for him.
Jean seemed to notice the look on Eren's face and took it the wrong way.
"The hell are you staring at!?"
"Your face disgusts me." Eren replied.
"The hell is your problem!?"
"What!?"
"You had her all to yourself the entire time, why are you acting so jealous all of a sudden!?"
"Jealous!? What the hell should I be jealous for!?"
You sweat dropped. Some things never change.