I wanted to fall and that's what I did. I fell into the kiss. Maybe it was the booze. Maybe it was because I was mad at Cody. Maybe it was because I was mad at Romeo. Or maybe it was simply the fact, that he was like a drug, that I couldn't quit. I had run cold turkey for over a week now and I had craved his touch more than anything in this world.
I pushed Romeo against the door as I deepened the kiss. He moved his hands to my waist and pulled me closer, making me gasp. He only took the opportunity to slip his soft tongue into my mouth. I loved it. This was what a kiss was supposed to feel like. Not like when I had kissed Laura. It wasn't her fault, of course. I just didn't even know her and my mind was possessed by this beautiful creature, that was exploring my mouth right now.
Slowly, Romeo pulled me back by my waist, making me frown. I was ready to dive in, again when he moved his hands to my shoulders, holding me back a little harder now. His eyes searched mine and I couldn't have been more confused as to what was going on.
"We are going to talk now, ok dickhead? You want me, I can see that. Don't even try to deny it" Romeo said with his damn husky voice.
"I-I don't like you, I told you. I'm just drunk and horny, thats all" I quickly said, blushing a little.
"No you are not. Well yeah, you are drunk and horny but thats not the only reason you kissed me back. I saw the way you looked at me in the hallways. How mad you were when I ignored you. You even tackled me at practice you asshole. I know you like me and I know you are only protecting yourself from getting hurt. And thats why I am not letting you out of this fucking bathroom until we had this talk"
I closed my eyes and exhaled. "Fine" I said, before looking in his eyes again. I took a step back and sat down on the edge of the bathtub. "Go ahead" I nodded.
Romeo looked to the ground and leaned back against the door. He was probably also bracing himself for what he was going to say next.
"I didn't kiss Camilla" he finally confessed. Well that's just bullshit. That's all he had come up with?? It has been over a week now and that was his excuse??
"Ok I am out of here-"
"Will you just listen to me!" he yelled, making me jump a little. "For once in your damn life Blake, can you just sit down and let me talk?!"
I nodded slowly as I sat back down. Damn, Romeo really could be kind of scary sometimes.
"Sorry.." he said. "I didn't kiss Camilla. She kissed me."
That sentence made me look up. I met his gaze and I think he could tell how confused I was. What did that even mean? Kissing takes two, doesn't it?
"I didn't want her to. After practice, she waited for me in front of the lockers. When I asked her, what she was doing there, she said, she was waiting for me. I knew she kind of had a crush on me, but I had made it pretty clear, that I don't do the whole dating thing. Well, at least not before you came around. Anyways, she said, she would get what she wanted one way or another. And then she kissed me. I didn't return it, to be honest I was a bit shocked. I would have never taken her to be such a forward girl. But that didn't change the fact, that I didn't want it. So I pulled back and told her, to never touch me again and then I saw you. Standing there. I know I should have immediately pulled away, as soon as she had leaned in or not even given her the chance to make that move on me, but to be honest, I just didn't see it coming. I was shocked. I'm so fucking sorry Blake. Believe me, I want nothing to do with Camilla. Or with Alexis. I can't fucking stop thinking about you and I am going mad. Blake, I know I fucked up, but can you-"
This time, I cut him off by smashing my lips against his.
He understood me. Just a little bit, but still, he understood what it feels like. I savored the feeling of his hot breath against my mouth, as our lips moved so perfectly together. I grabbed his neck with my hand, as the other took a fistful of his leatherjacket and held onto it for dear life. I missed the feeling of the cold leather against my skin. I missed the feeling of the zipper pressing against my hand. I missed him. I gave into my cravings and let my body control my mind. For the first time ever, I completly let go.
When I pulled away just enough to look in his lustful eyes, I couldn't help but smile. He had his hands snaked around my waist and desperately tried to get his lips back on mine. But I just enjoyed the moment. The moment of happiness. He was happy and so was I. It was like his kiss had sobered me up completely, but instead put me in a new kind of high. And I loved it. I seductively leaned forward and licked over his lips with the tip of my tongue. A lustful grumble escaped him, before overpowering me and diving back into the kiss again. And I let him. I wanted him. I bit his bottom lip, demanding entrance, but he only pulled back. Oh no. Was he rejecting me now? His grip around my waist loosend and I felt like a complete idiot.
"You are drunk Blake" he said, refusing to look me in the eyes.
"The fuck I am! I'm maybe tipsy but far from drunk" I demanded, trying to kiss him again, but Romeo took a step back.
"Blake, I need you to forgive me in a sober state. I don't want you doing anything you might regret in the morning. Don't get me wrong, I would love to continue this," he said, pointing between us, "but lets wait until tomorrow."
"But I forgive you, you colossal dumbass! Believe me, I'm sober enough to know what I'm doing. I want this" I said, probably sounding like an angry child. And I was kind of angry. After that fucking sweet apology, he really had to ruin the mood. All I wanted, was to give into my desirers, but that asshole just wouldn't believe, that I really wanted to. I mean, I guess it was kind of nice of him. You know, to look out for me and all that. Like he actually cared. But still, I'm a man, I can make my own decisions. For the past few months, everybody else made so many huge decisions without me. It was my right to make at least this one.
"Then you will still want this tomorrow, so it can wait. Besides, I don't want you to pass out in this bathroom. Cody wouldn't be too happy with neither me nor you. Anyways, there are people knocking on the door. Come on, I will take you home" he said, as he held my chin between his fingers and forced me to look into his beautiful eyes.
I wanted to pout. I wanted to tell him, that I was ok. That I needed him. That I wanted him. That it was none of his business, if I would regret it or not. Well it was, but in that moment, I was far from thinking logical. Because the next thing I knew, I jumped to my knees and emptied my stomach into the bowl. I hated vomiting. I mean, yeah, everybody does. But I hated it so much since.. the incident. I hated the feeling. It just brought back the worst memories. I was shaking all over. Maybe it was fear or just my body reacting normally to the overwhelming feeling of having to empty itself out.
But suddenly, I felt a soft hand stroke my back in circling motion. And suddenly, I knew I was going to be alright. That it was ok to feel sick. That I wasn't alone. At least not in that moment. Romeo didn't just leave. He stayed until he was sure I was done. I fell back against the bathtub and tried to catch my breath.
"Cody is so going to freak" I mumbled, my voice sounding like I had smoked way too much. My stomach hurt like hell. "He is going to yell at me all night"
"He only cares" Romeo said, as he sat down besides me.
"Well he fucking shouldn't. He only hurts himself along the way" I softly but firmly said.
"What do you mean?" Romeo frowned. I wanted to tell him. I wanted him to understand. He would finally get why Cody and I acted the way we did. And I would know what he thought I should do about him. I wanted his opinion, I wanted his advice. But it wasn't possible without him hating me. Or at least he would never fucking touch me again. Romeo would be disgusted by me and I couldn't risk that.
"Nothing" I sighed. Please don't ask again, Please don't ask again.
"Ok. You wanna spend the night at my place?" he casually asked.
My eyes widened in shock as I turned my head to face at him. One minute ago, we got into an argument, because he refused to kiss me when I was drunk, but now he wanted to sleep with me?? So I was too drunk to make out with him, but sober enough to fuck?? Romeo looked at me and finally understood why I hadn't replied yet.
"No! God no! Not like that. Get your head out of the gutter Blake!" Romeo exclaimed.
"Well excuse me, but if you ask me to spend the night at your place I think ... that" I defended myself.
"Dont worry. I just dont want you to get into a fight with your brother, ok? I will take the couch don't worry. I still stand by what I said" he said taking my hand in his and squeezing it a bit to comfort me. Not that I needed comfort, but still, it felt nice. I nodded slowly as I brushed my thumb over his hand. I loved the feeling of my skin against his. How could something like that feel so right?
"Come on. Lets take you home. You need to sleep before that hangover of yours starts" he smiled.
He got up from the cold bathroom floor and held out his arm to help me up. I took it and oh my god, why was he so strong, because he basically threw me into the air. I really wasn't that light. I mean, holy shit, I was a grown man.. or boy, but I was still tall and had enough muscles to manage playing football. I fell against him, but quickly stood back up on my own two feet, only to realize, that my legs were like jello. It was probably exhaustion from all the vomiting.
Romeo took one of my arms and threw it over his shoulders to keep me up. His arm snaked back around my waist, to keep me close. Although to everybody else it would probably only seem like a friend helping out a drunk friend, I could'nt help but smile. He cared about me. And how close we were, didn't really bring my mood down either. Of course I knew as soon as we made it out the door, I had to look like a drunken mess to keep our cover. Like he really just needed to help me. If he wanted to or not.
When we made it down the stairs, a huge group of people greeted us. The smell of weed, beer and the lack of air made me way too fucking dizzy to comprehend on what was going on around me. The first thing I saw, was Codys eyes, looking at me worried, but still very angry. I heard Romeo say something like "Calm down, I'm taking him to my place. He can crash there and you both can calm down. Ok bro? I've got him"
Cody ran his fingers though his hair and seemed a bit uncertain. He looked back at me and said something like, that he was sorry, but still mad and we will talk about this tomorrow. When he moved to the side, about 10 other people came at me at once. I recognized Amelies and Lukes worried, but drunken faces, as they argued with Romeo, that they would take care of me. I was way too tired and dizzy to say anything in his defense. Then Laura cupped my face, asking me how I was feeling, but Romeo quickly pulled her away from me. I couldn't help but chuckle. Jealous Romeo was really cute. But also fucking sexy as hell. God, why was I suddenly so horny?
Nick and Jaxson appeared as well, but they were only talking to Romeo, urging us to stay a bit longer. There was a guy, the same one from before, standing behind Jaxson, having his arms snaked around him, as he kissed his neck lustfully. Jaxson only rolled his eyes and told him to quit it already.
Finally, after Romeo had successfully fought off all of my predators, that wanted to keep us from leaving, we made our way out of Dantes house and onto the street. The cold air hit my face and sobered me up a bit. I suddenly froze in my step.
"What? Did you forget something? Do you have to throw up again?" Romeo asked, with a little worry in his eyes. He always seemed to be able to keep his cool, expect for when he was with me. Does that make me special? And if so, in a good way?
"You can't drive, I saw you drinking. Might as well drive myself! It would probably be safer anyway. You are a shit-show of a driver" I said, cocky as ever.
"First of all, excuse me? I am a very good driver! Second of all, I'm not gonna drive you idiot. We are going to walk" he said firmly, grabbing my hand again to pull me with him. I was way to weak at that moment to refuse.
"We are going to walk?? Fucking hell, where do you even live??" I wined a little.
"Don't be a baby. I live right down the street" Romeo said, gently pulling me along.
"Wait, but isn't this the fancy neighborhood?" I frowned, letting him guide me.
"Yep" was all he replied. Fucking hell if his house was even the half of Dantes, it would still mean that he was rich as fuck. Wait, he was! His parents bought a cinema for fun! He was loaded oh my god my... my Romeo was loaded. I still didn't know what we were. I mean we just made up- hopefully. Even that wasnt so sure. It was cold but I didn't feel cold. The heat coming from his hand made me feel like there was a fireplace in my stomach. How could one person make you feel that way?
Finally, we stopped in front of a huge ass house! Like, huge is an understatement. It looked like a castle. But it still had that kind of cabin in the woods aesthetic to it. There were probably 3 stories and a huge balcony looking over the most beautiful front yard, with a big fountain. Romeos black car was parked in front of the entrance next to other rather old but fancy looking cars. The house basically screamed: Yes we are rich, but we also like art and we only invest in beautiful stuff that has a deeper meaning to us. Or something like that, you know.
My mouth fell open, as I couldn't believe my eyes. This is where fucking Romeo Brooks lived. Don't get me wrong, he doesn't look like he sells heroin on the streets, but he just looked too rough.. too bad boyish to grow up in a house like that. But somehow, it suits him. It makes my picture of him complete. In the best way possible.
"Come on. You have to be quiet, so we don't wake anybody" he said, as he opened the big gates to his house for me. We slipped inside and I was greeted with the best smell, that has ever touched my nose. It smelled like Romeo. It smelled like home. The inside of the house was one big art piece. But it still managed to make you feel compfortable and safe. The furniture didn't look stiff and untouchable. It looked inviting, but still unique. Kind of like Romeo was towards me.
He guided me upstairs, the second floor to be precise. When we walked down the large hall, towards the entrance to the balcony, I couldn't take my eyes off Romeo. He seemed so calm, like none of this was actually a big deal to him. Like this was supposed to happen. But I wasn't relaxed at all. Fucking hell, how could I? We just made up, after I had found out he didn't even want to kiss Camilla. Why did I believe him, you might ask? I don't actually know to be honest. Just the way he described and tried to convince me, that he didn't like kissing her. That he just didn't want to. I understood. And I don't think someone can fake that feeling, if you have never experienced it. I trusted him. Still not fully, but he gained back a little bit of my trust.
We stopped in front of the door to the right of the balcony. He opened it, carefully, trying to make as little noise as possible. The door seemed old. Probably also a collection piece, because none of the doors in this house looked the same. It was an old door and not a quiet one, I might add. When I stepped into his room, I immediately felt at home.
It was a big room. His bed was huge, with dark blue sheets and in a old wooden frame, with a beautiful pattern carved into it. There was still a little bit of red and blue paint visible, but not enough to actually make out, what it had looked like once. The floor was also wooden and covered with beautiful chestnut colored tiles. There wasn't a lot of "art" in this room, not like downstairs. But he had some paintings, posters and polaroids on his wall. They all had a kind of 80s vibe to it. He had a flatscreen overlooking his room and big beautiful windows, that went down to the floor, where you could also enter the balcony from. He had white curtains, that blew into the room, since the window was open. His walls were painted a deep blue color and he had a big old record player in his room. At this point, who would have thought? There was also a big couch and some chairs in one corner and a beautiful black desk on the other.
"Here, you can have the bed. I will sleep on the couch. If you need to throw up again, you can wake me. The bathroom is through this door" he said, as he took off his leather jacket and got himself some cushions and a blanket from one of his many cabinets.
I looked over to the bed and immediately felt guilty. I didn't want to intrude like this. But I also knew, that he would never let me take the couch. And I didn't want to fight with him about bullshit like that. It would just be a power battle again and we were only so fresh back to where we started, it was too fragile to risk. And even though the bed seemed oh so inviting, I didn't want to spend another night alone. Not if he was so close to me, so availible.
When he walked past me to get to his walk-in closet, I caught his arm to stop. He looked at me confused, but also a little worried. "We can share the bed, if you want to?" I barly whispered. Was I that afraid of rejection? I never was before, but I didn't really care for the girls I had asked out and I was the schools quarterback. Rejection wasn't really something I had to worry about. But with Romeo.. I wanted him. I needed him. And yes, now I was afraid he didn't want me the way I wanted him.
"Blake I am not gonna sleep with you tonight. You are still not sober, we talked about this ba-"
"No, I'm not asking you to sleep with me. I get why you want to wait. All I am asking is, for you to lay next to me. Ok?" I said, still not able to look him fully in the eyes.
"Ok" he finally said. I think I looked more surprised than I actually was. A little too excited and also nervous, I made my way to the bed. I undressed, until I was only in my boxers and t-shirt. I had nothing else with me, what was I supposed to do? I quickly got under the blankets, so Romeo wouldn't see my body when he returned from changing. I knew, that I wasn't looking too bad, most guys were probably envious as fuck. But I still hated it. It only caused me fucking trouble in the past, I just hated it.
Romeo entered the room again in nothing but boxers and holy shit was he a greek god?? He looked like one of those old sculptures they have in museums. His defined abs, his perfect chest. Not too muscular, but also not so slim. How could somebody be this perfect? Like seriously, how?? I gulped when he made his way over to the bed. Romeo lifted the covers and hopped under them as well. The bed was big enough, so there would be some space between us.
Romeo turned off the light and snuggled himself into a comfortable position. I kind of wanted him close to me. I wanted to feel his heat and hold him in my arms. Or maybe even being held by him. But I knew, I couldn't trust my body to not react in a specific way, when I would be too close to him. His almost naked self, I might add. So I just layed back and tried to sleep. I was pretty fucking tired, to be honest. I mean, I was kind of tipsy.
And he was right next to me. No need to feel lonely, because I wasn't alone, right? I turned my head away from him, to go to sleep. The smell of his pillow was amazing. It smelled like him. I inhaled the scent and a smile creeped its way onto my lips. Finally, I was on my way to sleep town.
Suddenly, I felt a hand on mine. A big strong, but also delicate hand. Our fingers intertwined and right in that moment, I felt nothing but happiness. My fight with Cody wasn't on my mind. My anxiety wasn't as well. My mothers sadness and worrys seemed far away. But most of all, he wasn't on my mind. My problems weren't. For the first time ever, I fell asleep without thinking about what a worthless piece of shit I was. I fell asleep, without thinking about the incident. I just felt safe. Like I was always supposed to sleep here. And I loved it.
When I woke up the next morning, I found myself in the weirdest position ever. My head laid on Romeos chest that rose and slowly fell again and so did my head. It was so fucking calming I swear, if I wasn't freaking out, I would have totally fallen asleep again. His arm had a tight, but nice grip around my waist and my right leg was resting in-between his. When did we fall into this position? Did he know about it? I mean he was still fast asleep but maybe he woke up in the middle of the night and shifted closer to me?
Would he regret it, when he woke up? Maybe even freak out? I definitely was, but still, I didn't want to move one inch. The heat coming from his bare torso felt so welcoming. I debated for another minute, if I should just move away before he wakes up or not.
Finally, I decided to stay like this. I liked it and there was a chance he did too. So I took all my bravery and let myself fall into the situation again. I closed my eyes and snuggled back into his chest. God I was becoming a girl, wasnt I? Not that a girl is a bad thing or anything, but I was a man. After everything that happened, many would beg the differ, but I knew I was a man.
This was so nice. Please God, don't ever let this moment end!
And right in that moment, when I let the sun, that was coming through the big windows, touch my bare arms and legs, right in that moment, when Romeos grip around my waist tightened even more and pulled me closer. Right in that moment, the old squeaky door opened.
"Honey its already 12, get your ass out of b-"
My head immediately shot up as I starred into the same green eyes, that were laying right next to me. Romeos mother looked a little shocked. Then embarresed. I recognized her as his mother, because I swear, if Romeo was a girl and around 40, that would be him. No fucking doubt in my mind. Oh shit, this was embarrassing! Was Romeo even out to his parents? And if so, did they approve? I would have gladly told her, that it wasn't what it looked like, but for real, how would somebody believe that bullshit? Romeo tightened his grip around my waist, trying to pull me down into that cuddle position again. He grumbled, as I tried to sit up. His mother just starred at us in silence.
"Romeo!" I whisper screamed at him, because he wouldn't stop trying to cuddle me again. Finally, his eyes opened, as he looked at me, a little annoyed? Maybe he was just tired and I woke him up.
"What?!" was all he murmured.
I smacked his shoulder and pointed into the direction of the door. Finally, he turned his head and immediately his eyes widened.
"Oh shit!"