Panicked, he jumped out of his piece of shit van and put his hands on his knees as he tried to draw air into his lungs.
She was right. Why in the fuck had he been giving her an out when the last thing he wanted was for her to ever leave him?
Could he let her walk away?
She exited more slowly and caught one of his hands as she passed him. "I never said I was going anywhere. I'm trying to be understanding but the truth is that you're making this more complicated than it has to be. You love me, I love you, end of story. That's the way I see it but if you need proof, then I will give you your proof."
"I've changed my mind. Forget I said anything."
"I would like to point out that you could make me forget this whole day, and why I was mad at you last night but you're not. And you never would."
Once in her room, she kicked off her shoes and went straight to unbuttoning his shirt.
"Wait, I'm confused."
Grinning, she slipped his shirt over his head. "I'm getting you comfortable. If we are going to do this, then you will not be wearing a stuffy school uniform while we do it."
When her hand went to his belt buckle, he stilled. "I'm still confused. What are we doing? This isn't usually how breakups go."
Rolling her eyes, she dropped his pants to the floor then left him to step out of them while she slipped on one of his shirts.
"You're going to set me free, then I'm going to seduce you once and for all.
It wasn't the first time she's taken to wearing his t-shirts, but this was the first time she's changed right there in front of him. Wrong or not, he searched her thoughts before he lost his mind trying to figure her out.
Breaking up was the farthest thing from her mind.
After everything he's told her, her feelings haven't change for him in the least. She would never believe that Corey's death was his fault. She blamed the situation they were in. He was a kid who'd done the best he could do. To her, he'd always be a hero.
"Paisley_____."
"Shh." A whole hand covered his mouth. "I don't want to hear it."
Her eyes swept over him from head to toe. No trace of fear or doubt. Only appreciation and longing.
Her hair just barely reached her shoulders now but was still short enough on top that her black tips spiked out a little. She wore no makeup and look more beautiful than she had a right to look.
His grey shirt reached to her mid-thighs. He kissed the hand covering his mouth.
"Oh no, you don't. You're not getting me all hot and bothered just so you can back out of it before the good stuff. We're settling this once and for all."
Giving him a push so he'd sit on her bed, she sat across from him Indian style and took his hands. "I know you're scared but you don't have to be. Trust me. Tell me you set me free of any influences or suggestions regarding my wants and desires and from this moment forth that I'm to have complete control over my feelings for you and complete free will to make my own decisions concerning whether I stay with you or not, concerning whether I want you or not."
"Paisley, if you're wrong_______."
"I'm not."
"If you are, what will I do?"
His pain gave her pause. "Then you will do what you always do, Jay. You'll put me first. You'll get dressed and you'll leave so I can live the life I'm meant to live. Like you always do, you'll hide your pain and duck your head, and you'll pretend that I was never meant to be yours, anyway."
"I love you."
"I never doubt it and I want the same for you too."
A single tear slipped from each of his eyes. "Tell me. In case I never get to hear it again."
"I love you. I always will."