2 months later..
"M-m Mira, Mira!" I yelled out as I woke up suddenly from my nap with sweat trickling for my forehead as my heart thumped rapidly. There she was again, haunting me because I couldn't save her. Taunting me. It was yet another nightmare.
"Are you okay Sugar Bear?" OJ sat beside me on the beige leather couch holding my hand. Ever since I've been living here he'd watch me while I slept. He claimed it was because he was afraid that'll leave him again but apart of me felt it was because of these nightmares. They seemed to scare him just as much as me.
"Ye-yeah, I'm okay my love. Shouldn't you be showering for school sir?" I asked him switching the subject.
"You said that name again, you never want to say anything when I ask" He huffed. "You haven't had a bad dream in a long time sister." OJ said putting his head down frowning. I could see the sadness written across his face. He was always worried about me as if he was my big brother.
"And we're not talking about it okay? I made that clear. They've stopped the last two weeks so maybe it'll stop again. It's just some silly dream, all make believe." I smiled small placing my hand on top of his. "I'm okay, promise." Placing a kiss on his forehead I made him go get bathed leaving me alone in the guest room.
Laying back onto the large queen sized bed I rolled into the plush comforter as I cried silently to myself. These last two months had been hard since Mira's passing away. I didn't have a appetite, I couldn't sleep, I just wanted to be away from everyone. Everyone except OJ at least. He was the only thing in this world keeping me going at this point. We needed each other the most right now. I was blessed that we had even stumbled into each other again. After four days of living beneath the bridge I began walking one day to get food. As I arrived I noticed OJ & his foster mother Patrice were just getting out their car to go inside the restaurant at the same moment.
I had the same clothes on for the four days I was out on my own when I had ran into Patrice and OJ. They had immediately noticed my appearance since I carried a stench along with me. I hadn't had any strength to even move or even try to take care of myself. I had the funding but I just needed to be alone. I didn't want to be surrounded by people or even the world itself. I needed time to process the last 24 hours of my life. I was lucky enough to make it as far as the bridge. My legs constantly wanted to give up on me and I was just grateful I was found.
Patrice asked no questions upon seeing me. She simply asked was I hungry which I denied quickly already too embarrassed of OJ seeing me in the shape I was in. My clothes were worn and dirty, the wig I wore was scattered across my head like a birds nest, with my swollen eyes from the endless crying. OJ began to cry seeing me attempt to walk away from them and my feet ended planting themselves firm onto the concrete as I felt Patrice grab my hand insisting that I please come with them. I felt I had no other choice. I no longer had Mira but I had another little one to look after and I would never forgive myself if I had walked away from OJ so I went and I had been here since.
Part of me just wanted to end it all but I believe I ran into them for a reason. I still had a purpose. As much as I tried to push the thought to the back of the mind I felt I had knew what that purpose may have been. It was revenge. Sweet, sweet, revenge. I felt like Mira wouldn't allow me to rest unless I gotten her justice. It wasn't my character but I just couldn't resist the urge. Her death had awakened a side of me I couldn't tuck away no matter how hard I tried.
It made it no better that Anthony and Amir had constantly blew me up over the last month. Even after the service had ended for the month they both made it their business to continue to pay the phone bills. In hopes that I'd pick up one day. If I hadn't carried Amir's phone that day I would have left it behind in my old bedroom at Anthony's. I had no choice but to turn them off because too many questions about Kyra's whereabouts and mentioning of Mira's name came up. I felt I would lose my sanity if I had to play those events back. I was doing too well of a job keeping it away..
Anthony also sent numerous text messages expressing his love to me. I couldn't deny the feelings that were started to form. The butterflies that sat in the pit of my stomach when we were alone. The way my body tingled and shivered at his slightest touch..I began to feel myself getting weak in this very moment from just the thought of him. That weakness quickly shifted to anger as it did every time he unwillingly popped into my head. I didn't love him. I hated him. Every second I constantly regretted that I didn't listen to Amir's warning.
"Sugar I'm ready!" OJ called out from his room that was directly across from his own. He was ready for me to tuck him in for the night. Something I always did when our mother finally left us. It had became our routine.
Wiping my eyes I quickly got up from the bed. "Coming baby boy." I called out slipping on my furry slippers that rested on the purple rug beside my bed.
Walking into OJ's bedroom I looked around amazed as I did every time. I was so glad he had someone like Patrice in his life. He had a train inspired room since he always dreamt of being a engineer. He was living the life he had always deserved since our mother had failed us. I couldn't had asked for a better family. "Are you sure you're okay Sugar?" OJ asked shyly as I kneeled down beside his bed.
"I promise baby, I am supposed to worry about you. Not you worry about your big sister. Everyone has nightmares, including you right?" I asked as he nodded slowly. "Right. And are the real?" He shook his head no. "Everything is going to be okay. We're strong. We always had each other and who has us?"
"God!" OJ shouted excitedly.
"That's my man!" I smiled pounding his fist. I'm glad some things I taught him still stuck. "No matter how far I go or how long your big sissy always will come back for you just like now. Okay?"
"Okay." He smiled. "I love you Sugar bear."
"I love you more O. Goodnight." I kissed his forehead.
"Goodnight." He hugged me before rolling over closing his eyes. I looked at him once more before turning on his nightlight and shutting the door behind me.
Going downstairs for coffee I ran directly into Chad who'd bumped into me coming up the stairs as I went down. Chad was OJ's foster dad and Patrice's husband. He was rapped in nothing but a large dry towel with his pale hairy chest exposed. "Excuse me, sorry." I looked down avoiding eye contact.
"Woah, wait a minute. Now no need to apologize." He smirked using his arm to lean against the stairway blocking the way down. "I'm the one who owes you the apology. Well incase you want to make up for it." He raised a brow grinning.
"I just want to go down." I said more sternly this time. Raising his hands in defense he moved out the way this time.
"I was only kidding, go right ahead my lady." He bowed sarcastically as I quickly went down the steps. I didn't dare to look back but I felt his eyes on my back the entire way down. I hated to be around him and something about him made me feel so awkward and I cursed myself for not double checking his schedule which Patrice kept posted on the fridge.
Making it to the kitchen area I grabbed a mug from the wooden cabinet. Pouring the pot of steaming hot coffee I heard the click of the locks to the front door. In walked Patrice as she took off her long trench coat with matching black boots tossing her keys onto hook on the wall. "Well hello Sugar, I'm shocked to see you creeping around here at night. I'm use to you sleeping all day. Just like a hibernating bear." She chucked lightly.
I sat down on the bar stool sipping my coffee slowly as I laughed along with her. She was exactly right. "I slept away most of my day again. I just decided to get some coffee is all." I smiled small. "Would you like a cup?"
"No dear, thank you for asking though. You're always so sweet and polite just like OJ." She looked off as she was in thought smiling to herself. "Although I have been meaning to ask you something.."
I quickly gave her a look hoping this wasn't another attempt of her digging into what happened before me coming here. "I promise it's nothing what you think. It's actually about Chad.. has he- .. has he made you feel uncomfortable?" She asked curiously.
I didn't know if this was a setup. Did she think I was into her husband? What had he said about me? Was this some kind of race thing? Was she jealous? So many questions crossed my mind. "No, I promise I would have told you. I wouldn't ever disrespect your home Patrice I swear I-" before I could continue I was cut off.
"No, no, no. Don't worry sweetie. It's just.." she looked up the steps making sure Chad wasn't out the shower. "He's been showing up at home earlier then he should since you've been here. I suspect he's been leaving work earlier then he should and we've already had past issues with younger girls.. which is why we never adopted any." She shook her head quickly wiping her eyes. "Sugar just please tell me if anything ever happens. I can't let him do this to me again." She pleaded resting her hand on top of mine.
So many thoughts were still ongoing in my head. "I promise you." She pulled me in for hug holding me tightly. I needed to get the fuck out of here.