"When I met Nani, she recognized me in an instant, as if mom's face was fresh like yesterday. I tried to reach upto her, but stopped by a sudden thunder from behind. It was him, my so called grandfather. He is very direct, lethal and unapologetic, on what he wants from me. Next few minutes which were like ages; I, stood on the door, heard eveything, so many abbreviations of me. He didn't even flinched a bit, while, wounding every part of me with his poison. Surrounded by so many pairs of eyes, which were studying me, I stood like an accuse. Never in my life, I felt this kind of humiliation. I wanted to run- from them, from shadows of my past and eveything. I couldn't, I had no weapon to protect myself. I was helpless in front of their blames. It's so strange, I couldn't perceive what I did wrong?
Half an hour, without being heard, I was sanctioned to live without their name and love. Well, now I am greatful that I wasn't allowed to be one of them!"
"Accepting my defeat and fortune, I turned to return but....I was stopped by a voice, a feeble and poor voice. Nani; all this while, didn't spoke a word- complaint or accusation, nothing! A Few glances at her made me angry too, why isn't she defending her daughter? if not me. But When she called me, I couldn't control myself and looked at her, there was some kind of life in timid eyes, a spirit of joy and a hope to be heard. I Don't know, I felt she has something to say."
"When I turned back, I heard my mother's name in her low voice, Just her name Sargam... I was overwhelmed. I saw her moving forward, hands were reaching out for me, to embrace, which was due from earlier. But, Ladies of the house reached to her before me. And she was stopped, suddenly a commotion started, atmosphere got tensed. Few ladies were giving a hidden smile to me, while men looked ready to pounce. Then I realised, Nani isn't well."
"She was weak, I could see that, but something was amiss. When they tried to take her inside, she faught, scolded them and came running to hug me.... finally, it was amazing...... Shivaay. I could feel familiarity of our heartbeat, my blood and hers. I could feel the happiness in that touch. I was happy, to hell with family, I knew she loved my mother, and must have missed her all these years, it was enough for me, even this feature was enough for me. It doesn't matter, if I get their name or acceptance or not. I knew, that old lady somewhere, deep down her heart, wanted us. And it was enough."
Annika narrated her story, in Shivaay's embrace. Hurt, pain subdued, it was replaced by care, warmth and love. Now she can easily open up to him. Infact she was waiting to share her heart to someone, Who could be better than him?.... Because now, she knew, he will understand her.
"She kissed my forehead, calling me her baccha and meri beti , actually she mistook me as mom.... But I was happy. When one lady, which I later found out to be my mami, wanted to take her, she refused. Her hands were weak but her hold was something I can still remember. She wasn't leaving me, she was also told that I am not Sargam, but her daughter! The smile after that, was magical. Shivaay.....I can still feel the goosebumps. Her weak small eyes were looking at me admiringly. Like Pinky ma looks at me, like you do. After knowing who I am, I guess she was even more happier. And that was it. I have found my family. My nani."
Annika's smile was broad, Shivaay can understand the range of her happiness, if remembering the event can give her that smile, then surely it was a beautiful moment. He thought. He let her talk, and devour everything again through her memory.
"Later, badi mami came to me. Standing at the foot of the door, I was unable to move. I wanted to meet nani for the last time, because they took her inside. I was not welcomed but I wanted to see her last time before taking any decision. Mami, told me, family has decided to take me in, for few days, I can live with them. I was also told Nani is suffering from Alzheimer." Annika stopped for few moments, how she wished she could give back memories to Nani, so that she could tell her everything about her mother. Shivaay enclosed her more to sympathise with her feeling. Annika continued.
"She forgets things, people and daily routine work, it's incurable, lately she is having fits. Once she tried to kill herself, accusing everyone and herself for sins. She Called them sinners, it was indicated towards my mother's death. Somehow they managed to control her, but after that fit, she fell completely silent. It was me, whom she recognized and talked and called her daughter."
"Because, she was fighting for me, everyone thought, as a gesture to ailing lady that I should live with her. There's a marrige ceremony happening, till then I can live with her..... Huh....bullshitting about ailing lady! nobody cares for her! They wanted no trouble in marriage, because it was supposedly a political alliance, they can't loose this, at any cost.... all this favour for old fogey, was only a mask. Such hypocrisy.!!.....I was told be in limits, like a guest. My acquittances was limited, only to ladies or till the kitchen boundaries. I shouldn't show my face to any of the male member, as if I care!!
Also, I was strictly told not to mention my mother to anyone in the village. I was Abandoned to meet people and guests. I have to take care of Nani and live till this marriage ceremony gets over. It's a prison Shivaay, covered with rules and hypocrisy. I hate to see their faces, few hours with nani makes me happy otherwise it's just unwanted punishment for me."
"But Nani is a gem, so many things I got to know from her. Once she told me, that she wanted mom to have a grand marriage ceremony, but that never happened, she regrets it. Now, whenever she can recollect who I am, she wishes same for me! Isn't it exciting? when she said this, I feel guilty to leave you, it always reminded me of you." Annika concluded, Shivaay heaved a sigh of relief. Her encounter with Nani is something she'd cherish for life, at least she has something in her bucket, out of this mess.
Also, deep down fear of having somebody, who could have entered her life, vanished. Shivaay can't explain, how many sleepless nights he faught with this thought, at least now he can breathe. Any other mans involvement was difficult to be bared. Jealous he was!
"Lets get out of here Annika. Everybody is waiting for you back home, mom is having a difficult time without you, dadi took Rudy because he was too miserable to live there, and I..." He was cut short by Annika's objection to this.
"Shivaay... please... don't make me choose. I won't be able to leave you now! I am dying here, without all of you,but nani needs me. And she won't leave her family. At least, let me be here, till the time she remembers who I am. Doctors said, she'll forget eveything in few weeks, after that they'll shift her to hospital's care. Because, it is difficult to lead a life, with people, with that condition. I want to be with her Shivaay... and I can't live without you. Please, don't make this difficult for me. Please.!!"
Annika begged. She can't choose right now. Shivaay don't want to leave her, in the middle of insensitive people, they'll hurt her, he can't afford to witness her getting down casted by useless people, and apart from eveything, family needs her, they want her back....
"Annika...I am not telling you to choose, understand, this place is dangerous, they can do anything to you. I don't know how deep is their hatred for you. Also, we can take Nani with us, we'll take up the responsibility of her treatment, she'll get better doctors in mumbai. Annika, I had enough of this distance and pain thing! I want you to come back to me...." Shivaay cupped her face in his hand, other holding her close. Annika eyes were unable to look into his, she can't do this, she already hurted both of them, she can't hurt him more. But, she also know Nani needs her, how can she choose between them?
She lay into him, buries her face inside his chest, a sigh of contentment releases, she spoke with utter calmness, "I need to sleep Shivaay, can I? I haven't slept for so many days. Can I sleep here, with you? We'll talk about it later. Please.." She said closing her eyes in sleeping posture. She wasn't lying when she said these words, the peaceful nights of Oberoi mansion were like long lost memories to her.
Shivaay lets her do that, uncomfortable position long forgotten. Happiness of togetherness, her having so close overpowered eveything else. He managed, to get support from heavy trekking bag, enclosed her into a protective wall. He felt he was holding a baby, innocent and vulnerable. Keeping her as close as he could, into his body, he lets Annika fall asleep. Like magic, she dips down into ocean of dreams,snoring lightly.
Shivaay looked at her, finally she is with him. Entirely, without any veils of hidden emotion. They are clear, who they are to each other, it's an achievement. Finally, after 10yr of hiding emotions, they are together, not to be apart.
Difficulty in holding her firmly, was forgotten, he released one hand to caresses his beloved face- touching every contour, very skin, dim and out of charm. He could see dark circles around her eyes, indicating her sleepless nights, chubby cheeks now turned slender, a guilt was building up. Why he took so much time to reach her?. She was facing such hurdles in life, and he was not there.
Shivaay Clenched his jaws, with the thought of animalistic behavior of these people, he won't spare these insensitive people, if they hurt his love again. He promised, with peck on her forehead, a thumb was running through her jaw lines, sensing every skin, part of her. The stare remained on her face for exactly three minutes. He was trying to capture this beautiful moment in his memory, afterall, now Annika completely belongs to him.
Sun starts to pour his early rays in the sky, Shivaay could see rose tint coming back to her, with a little satisfaction, he drowns in sleep, still holding her, like his baby. While, Annika's hands wrapped around his torso, like she always do and ears directly listening to his heart beat. She didn't even moved an inch, from that position. They were sitting so close, supporting eachother, caring for other, it's a proofs of true love. To be like this forever ;Together and forever.
Morning hustles, disturbed a sleepy Annika. When she opens her eyes, witnesses a magical sight, Light breathes fanning her face, a composed look on uncomfortable posture looked so serene. Still enclosed inside his safe embrace, with day light, made scene more beautiful. Shivaay's handsome face always looked cute while sleeping, specially his falling hair on his forehead. Suddenly, her hormones were active, she had an urge to wake him up with a good morning kiss, but that would be so abrupt. She thought.
Yesterday, she accepted her feelings and today itself a kiss would be too much to handle for Shivaay. She smiled at that thought. Finally she can smile like that. Little commotion on her lap, wakes Shivaay up. He looked around, and was surprised to see the environment, confused where is he? Because the dream he saw, was too beautiful to not feel real. Adjusting with the light and his uncomfortable posture he looked at Annika, she was smiling at him. Beautiful he thought.
Clearing throat for attention, regarding place and situation they both cleaned themselves up, with an unidentified awkwardness, Shivaay spoke first, breaking their silent stupor.
" Did you sleep well? Ah...I... think so." He answered for her, Annika looked amused at his sudden inability to speak, she moved forward and pecked his cheeks just like that, unable to Stop herself.
"Good morning Shivaay... and... I slept well, infact best in these several weeks, thank you." She said, soft yet clear enough for him to understand, awkwardness shouldn't grow between them, after eveything, it's time for them to speak clear, from heart. They deserve this after such hindrances.
"Annika..."
"Shivaay.... I know what you'll say, please understand, I can't go back just like that, I promise I'll come back, safe and sound, just give me sometime with my Nani, for nobody else. No one matters for me more than you, it's just that , Nani deserves a better care, she is missing it , here. Don't force me to come back, not now."She said in one go. She won't be able to argue with him. The best thing she could do is tell him what she wants and let him decide, which always happens to be her desire. If they start arguing, she'll definitely loose the battle. He is so good with manipulation.
"Annika....now you're creating trouble for me, How can I leave you, here, after seeing you in this miserable condition? I am not going without you. That's final." Shivaay said indicating her last night's despair, and her condition. He realised last night too but in day light he could see her. Wearing a loose fitting, faded, salwar kameez, her disheveled state and those sleepless nights in her eyes, how can he let her be like this? It agitates him more to think about who did this to her.
"I won't be miserable now, because you're with me! Always. Shivaay..you can't behave like a stubborn child now, please go. I will come back in few days." She said irritated with his rigidity. Shivaay crossed his hands over this chest to deny her appeal, and turned other way, not looking at her, he can't go. Clear and simple.
"Why are you behaving like this? For God sake understand, I am not in danger here, but you'll be, they know you, they also know you're influential and to prove their power they can do anything. Just go Shivaay. Think about Pinky ma. Your business, how much Shakti uncle will handle it alone? Without you... Shivaay....you have to take care of them as well.....are you listening? Shivaay?" Annika was desperate to make him understand, but he was adamant like her and she knew she can't win.
"Its your birthday, next week Annika!" This was what he said in his defence, and again Annika lost the battle. She sat by the tree and heaved a sigh! Battle was lost already, even if she wants him to go, she wants him by her side. Now, how can she argue with this stupid Oberoi? For whom planning and celebrating her birthday meant so much. Shivaay sat slightly smiling over his win.
"You always do this to me! Always.... Now I don't have any thing in my defence. I also want to celebrate it with you, but....." she faces him and cupped his face, afraid, a little. She wasn't angry, "If they found out you're here, then I don't know what they'll do? I am scared. After mom and dad, I don't want to loose you because of them..." Annika's concern was thoroughly visible to his eyes.
"I will be fine, I am hiding from three days nobody knew, right? It was 10yr back, Annika they saw me, and even if they remembered who I am, they can't harm me. Okay.... okay! if this helps, I will leave after your birthday. Is it okay with you. Till then let me be with you. Just look at you, I can't leave you like this. How can I?" He said looking at her again.
She smiled, at his stupid disgusted look and side hugged him, sitting by the tree they stayed like that for a minute when again Annika spoke, agreeing to his words "Okay, stay.... but I am warning you, no roaming around the city or near this house. By the way where are you living?" She asked in surprise.
"Khanna's wife is from this place, her family readily agreed to take me, but they too are afraid of your grandfather, so I lied to them saying I am here for some project."
"Khanna's wife?..I didn't knew. Okay if you're staying here, follow my rules okay. No coming around this house and do not try to meet me, in any case."
"That's not fair, if it is urgent then...."
"I know your urgent. Don't try being over smart. Next, I will tell you time and place for meeting, only on Sundays."
"What? No way... Annika this your place, doesn't mean you'll go all hitler mode on me.... okay! I am not afraid of your grandfather, don't try to intimidate me. I will follow no such rules. Only once a week? How does that matter, if I can meet you only once before your birthday, rubbish. I am not following...." Shivaay's rant moved on... Annika lips curved with his continuous blabbering.
"Okay! okay!.... peace! peace!..... more than once then, now alright? but I will tell you place and time. Stay indoors, it's all dusty around here, you'll get sick. Don't eat spicy food they add such low standard spices here, you'll face problems. Have you brought your tablets? And emergency number, anyone to call when your heartbeat gets irregular? Do you want me to find....um.. ?" Annika was stopped by a slender but strong finger on her lips, it was Shivaay who wanted silence. She looked at him, his eyes enduring, deep with intensity of thoughts, she couldn't decipher what it was, either she was lost inside them or maybe it's something magical which spellbound her.
"Don't worry about me, just stay quite, and be with me. I want to gasp eveything before you decide to abandon me and go back to that jail of yours" Shivaay spoke, giving life to thousands of butterfly inside her stomach, which she didn't knew existed. They were lost for a long time, rinsing sun, chirping of birds, hustle and murmuring of morning population, they were lost in the moment. A grumble inside her belly made them come out of that space. She came back to senses, butterfly were chased away by little rats, compelling her to hurry for the food. Giving a quick hug to Shivaay, she ran few meters, but suddenly came back and pecked his cheek and whispered those beautiful words which spellbound him again. it felt different this time.
"I love you, Shivaay."
Stupefied, he stood watching her going, away from him, this time to come back and to stay for forever.
*****
Annika's body swayed like a lightweight feather, legs were not walking, she was flying. Also, drowning in the pool of happiness, such a mess it is to be in, altogether so many emotion. After such a long time, she felt alive. She thought...
Unaware of hatred around her, she was lost in her own thoughts, forgetting where she is! They hate her, for sure but her sudden happiness was something not be missed. They too, noticed this sudden delight in her nature, but cared nobody. Who is she? To be intrigued about her life? Annika cared no more, Good for her, why would she tell them who made her day today? A known, strange blue eyed man who doesn't think beyond her. Stupid, at same time so adorable that she can right now run right back to him, if she could. Freshening up in her usual dress, which happens to be another dull salwar kameez.
Humming tunes of old Hindi song, she went to call up on Nani, unlike other days, nani was also in a jolly mood, she was looking at her old photo albums, later Annika found, what she was looking for.
Annika saw an old photograph of her mother with her family, half hidden under long embroidered dupatta, Sargam looked different, authentic and young. Annika could see her free spirit through those half visible face, hers was half hidden, others stood standing completely covered inside that veil. What's the use of even clicking the photo, when you're not able to show your face? Annika didn't bothered to know, a stern looking man was the answer. She knew.
"It was your bade mama's marrige day, new Bride was welcomed and the photographer wanted a family photo, it was such a new thing for us, and we stood looking at that strange looking thing! lights, it was throwing so much heat, felt like sun itself, finally we took a photo." Nani told with a cheerful voice.
"Why you're looking at old pictures today Nani?" Annika took seat by her side, looking at her amusingly.
"Are.... Sargam beta, you forgot I was telling you about your marriage. I was searching for this jewellery, I use to have but I am not finding it now, and ah....yes...this one...look!" Nani showed her the picture, Annika again smiled at her, referring her as Sargam. This marrige thing was told to her as Annika. Nani does this so often, now Annika don't even correct her. In The picture, Nani wore a small earrings, it wasn't a big gold jewellery but the way nani looked at them was amazing.
"Did you look at the drawers?" Annika asked raising to find them.
"Yes, yes Annika.....it isn't there. Have you seen it? Last time it was your mama's marriage I wore it. How can you forget? " Annika giggled at her innocent behavior. Suddenly her laughs are so frequent. And out of happiness, not deliberate.
"Okay. I'll look around." Annika replied.
"Oh no. No. I'll ask Sanjog bahu. She'll know." Nani replied being lost in the photo album. Annika gave her medicine and picked up her old lost phone, which she has abandoned after coming here, she dialled Shivaay's number. Smiling broadly like a lunatic.
"Oh, so you still remembered that I am here?" Shivaay asked smugly.
"Oho... Shivaay why you being so dramatic? Where is our businessman haan?" Annika asked. Standing at the corner of a window. Hiding her excitement with Nani. Yes, she can't show her eveything.
"When you forgot to call me back, that's where I became dramatic." Shivaay whined.
"It's just an hour."
"Annika... its a whole lot of sixty minutes, how can you say just an hour?" Shivaay was sounding too much irritating now.
"May be I did it on purpose. Think this way, why should I call you? You haven't done a thing for me" She was trying to confuse him.
"What?, Now you're trying to gamble with me. Don't try okay, I am better than you."
Shivaay was relaxing on the bed, Annika could almost hear his relaxing breaths and squeezing of the mattress.
"It's not Gamble, just....let it be. You won't understand."
"Annika...now don't piss me okay, tell me what is it.?" Shivaay sat up with a start.
"I am pissing you off? Really? You know what ? Leave it, I dont want to talk to you. You know, what's the best part, I didn't knew you'll be such a bad boyfriend or whatever they call people like you. Bye." With that sudden outburst, she disconnected the call.
Shivaay was dumbfounded as what has just happened? This was out of his understanding. He was so desperately wanted to have a chat with her, now what?
Annika huffed in annoyance, sat with a thud and murmured few words and next moment started regretting it, actually it wasn't a big deal but she was annoyed because he didn't voiced out his feelings. He didn't said I Love you to her!
Not in Mumbai, even now, infact she claimed it twice. Off course he loved her, bit she came to know it through letter, he didn't say it. Also, letter was found by her, technically, he didn't say, he loved her. Well, it's not something to be angry about but this actually bothered her today. Like just now, because it's only an hour of their so called distance.
She picked up the phone again, thought a few time about his confusion and laughed how he'd be thinking what he missed! But she didn't called back, infact waited for his call but...he took ages. When she thought waiting is killing her, she got another reason to be angry, she dialled his number in anger, which didn't connect. Before she could type a long anger filled message, she was called for breakfast.
Amidst eveything, she forgot to notice, a pair of intrigue eyes looking at her, secretively listening and smiling at the antics of this girl, who seems rather familiar to her. Yes, it was Nani....
She was looking at her with an admiring eyes, unable to identify who she is?
____________________________________
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Krishna