At a motel. A few days later.
I smiled and walked out of the room.
Dean was at the parking lot doing some work under the Impala's hood.
I smiled "hey"
He looked at me "hey"
Me "How long have you been up?"
Dean "long enough to find us a case"
Me "so you're feeling back to normal"
Dean "yeah, whatever normal is in our world "
Sam walked out and over to us "morning"
Me "morning. Dean's got a case for us"
Sam asked surprised "Really?"
I nodded "Yes"
then Dean handed me the newspaper "so uh, right here. Ahem. A teacher at an all-girls school went missing in Flint, Michigan. she was uh, headed to her car and then disappeared. Nobody's seen her since"
I handed Sam the newspaper "there's nothing here that even remotely suggests there's a case"
Dean "there's is nothing there that even remotely suggests there isn't a case. Boom"
I rolled my eyes "come on"
Dean "Leny, out there hunting. It's the only normal i know. We got work to do"
At a theater.
Dean pulled over.
We got out.
Sam "so the last place Mrs. Chandler was seen by anyone was in the auditorium. Turns out she's the drama teacher"
Dean fake gagged "Theater kids. Great"
Sam "well, i was a theater kid"
Dean "Barely. You did Our town, which was cool. But then you did that crappy musical"
Sam "Oklahoma? Hugh Jackman got cast off Oklahoma!"
Dean "You ran tech, Wolverine"
Sam "shut up"
We walked inside.
--
We walked into the showroom.
suddenly i heard a girl say "idiots!"
I looked to the side and saw a girl dressed as Bobby standing here.
The girl "you idiots . You are idiots"
My jaw dropped.
Suddenly there was another girl on stage, dressed as Castiel and she yelled"hey, assbutt. Hey, assbutt"
Suddenly someone started playing the piano.
Then there was a girl dressed as Dean standing there and started to sing ""John and Mary, husband and wife, bringing home a brand-new life. His name is Sammy, i'm big brother Dean"
Two girls dressed as Mary and John walked over to a crib with a baby in their arms.
The girl Dean sang "The perfect family or so it seemed. The demon's visits had begun. It believed sam was the chosen one. "
A girl dressed as Azazel showed up and walked over to the crib and took the fake baby out.
The girl Dean sang "it burned my mother and it cursed my brother"
the girl who played Mary stuck her head out behind a cardboard which should show how she was burned alive on the ceiling.
The girl Dean sang "Leaving us in tears. On the road so far. Yeah, the road so far"
The scenery changed to a road and a fake car was moved on stage with another girls sitting in there playing the brothers.
The girl Dean sang "we are in Dad's car. "
Suddenly a girl jumped up "cut. All right. Go talk to the Lighting Department. And i'm gonna talk to Siobhan"
My jaw dropped. I looked at the brothers who were speechless.
Dean "what in the holy hell?"
Sam "there is a case. Probably has something to do with all this"
Me "but what is "all this"?"
Suddenly a girl walked to us "Are you guys from the publisher?I'm Marie, the writer-slash-director. "
Then she pointed at a girl was showed up next to her "This is Maeve, my stage manager. And that was just a dress--mm"
Sam showed her his FBI badge.
Dean and i were about to do the Same thing till Sam stopped us.
Sam "I'm Special Agent Smith. These are my partners, Special Agents Smith and Lucia. "
Dean "no relation."
Sam "We're here to look into the disappearance"
Dean "there is no singing in Supernatural"
Meave "well, this is Marie's interpretation-"
Dean nodded "ha. Well, i mean, if there was singing, you know--and that's a big "if ". if there was singing, it would be classic rock". not this Andrew Floyd Webber crap."
Sam "Andrew Lloyd Webber"
Dean "what?"
Marie "Well, you know, we do sing a cover of "Carry On Wayward Son" in the second act"
Sam grimaced "Really?"
Dean and i said in unison "It's a classic"
Sam nodded, shocked before going back to normal "right. Anyways, we're here to talk about the disappearance of Mrs. Chandler. any chance you two saw her before she vanished?"
Marie nodded "Yeah, she left around like, what , 9:30?"
Sam "Any idea where she would be headed that time of night?"
Maeve "a bar. Or a liquor store. both"
Sam "wow. Really?"
Marie "she had a nasty divorce last year. Most of the time, she's sipping on her, uh, grown -up juice or passed out. Usually in that order"
Dean "i don't blame her. I'm gonna need 50 Jell-O shots and a hose-down to get this stink off me"
Sam "Meave, right? you're the stage manager?"
Meave nodded "and i understudy Jody Mills"
Dean "what?"
Sam "that's great. That's great. Jody Mills. That's great. so how about you give me a behind-the-scenes tour while your director shows my partners Mrs. Chandler's office? Deal?"
she nodded.
Sam "great. Give us a moment, please"
Marie nodded "okay"
Then the two walked away.
Dean "I'm gonna throw up"
Sam looked at me "you okay? you haven't said a single word since we got here?"
I shook my head "I've got nothing to say. Like literally i'm loss of words"
Dean nodded.
Sam "I'm gonna check for EMF. You--you look for, uh cursed objects"
-
We walked around behind the set.
Dean "how'd you get all this stuff?"
Marie "some parts homemade, some parts repurposed. All of it awesome"
Dean walked over to a table full weapons and grabbed the fake shotgun.
Marie rushed over there and grabbed the fake SG from his hands "don't. Please don't "
Suddenly he pointed at the girls that were dressed as Sam and Dean that were standing by the fake car "what are they doing?"
Marie "oh, uh. They're rehearsing the BM scene. "
Dean "the bowel-movement scene?"
Marie shook her head, shocked "no. the body-melodrama scene. You know, the scene where the boys get together and they're driving or leaning against Baby drinking a beer, sharing their feelings. The two of them, alone but together. Bonded. United. The power of their -"
Dean "why are they standing so close together?"
Marie eyed him "reasons. "
I grimaced "oh god no"
Dean "you know they're brothers, right? Besides, Dean's dating Elena"
Marie "subtext "
Dean called over to the girls "Why don't you take a substep back there, ladies?"
The girls stepped apart.
I shot Dean a funny look.
At Mr. Chandler's officer.
The office was a mess. Empty alcohol bottles were standing around a tons of paperwork was on the table. Feels, just like my childhood.
I grabbed a plastic robo head "this hers?"
Marie shook her head "no. That's a prop from act two. I've been looking for that, actually"
Me "there's no space in Supernatural"
Marie "well, not canonically, no. but this is transformative fiction"
Me "you mean fan fiction"
Marie "call it whatever you like, okay? it's inspired by Carver Edlund's books. With a few embellishments. "
I rolled my eyes.
Marie "Well, as you know, Chuck stopped writing after Swan Song. I just-I couldn't leave it the way it was. I mean, Dean breaking up with Elena, not hunting anymore, and living with Lisa. Sam somehow back from hell but not with Dean. And Elena with that Dominic guy? So, um, i wrote my own ending"
Dean "you wrote your own ending? with spaceships?"
Marie "and robots. And some ninjas. And then Dean becomes a woman"
My jaw dropped and i looked at Dean.
Marie "it's just for a few scenes"
In the schoolhallway.
Dean "all right, Shakespeare, you know i can tell you what really happened with Sam, Dean and Elena? A friend of mine hooked me up with the unpublished unpublished books. So Sam came back from hell but without his soul. The Cass brought in a bunch of leviathans from purgatory. uh, they lost Bobby. And then Cass and Dean got stuck in purgatory. Elena had sex with Sam. They met a prophet named Kevin. They lost him too. Then Sam underwent a series of trials in an attempt to close the gates of hell. Which nearly cost him his life. and Dean? Well, Dean became a demon. A knight of hell,actually. Elena became a demon too because she got tricked by Crowley into selling her soul. "
Marie's jaw dropped "wow"
I nodded "Yup"
Marie "that is some of the worst fan fiction that i have ever heard. I mean, seriously, though, where'd your friend find this garbage? jeez"
She sighed "i'll have to send you some fic links later"
Suddenly i saw the girl version of Crowley hugging the girl that played me .
Dean pointed at them "is that in the show?"
Marie "NO. Sibobhan and Kristen are a couple in real life. Although we do explore the nature of Crolena in act two"
I felt sick to my stomach. I think i'm gonna throw up.
Dean "you guys do realize that Dean and Elena are dating, right?"
Marie nodded "Yes but this is a Fic so.."
Then she walked away.
I turned to Dean who looked more annoyed than pissed.
Me "calm down, Dean"
Dean whispered "Calm down? you want me to calm down? this is all some major disrespect to all of us. "
I shook my head "all they're doing is telling our story, Dean"
Dean gestured to the couple in the seats "then what do you call that?"
I sighed, annoyed "Dean, they are actors who are in love with each other. If you and i dressed up as Crowley and Cass and started making out with each other off screen, does that mean that Crowley and Cass are hooking up in real life too? "
Dean grimaced "Thanks. I can never get that picture out of my head"
Me "just answer the question"
Dean shook his head "no"
Me "see. Let them think what they want. We knew the real thing. And that's Dean and Elena."
Dean nodded "okay"
I smiled "now smile"
He looked away but i could see the smile.
My smile grew bigger.
Outside.
We walked to the car.
I shook my head "i don't get it"
Sam "yeah, i mean shouldn't it be "Celena"?"
I shot him a look "Really? that's your issue with this?"
He shook his head, amused "no. of course it's not my issue. You know, how about "Sastiel"? "Samstiel"?"
I shook my head "no no no. shut up. please, shut up"
He chuckled "uh, look, we had no EMF. No hex bags. Other than the Charlie Kaufman of it all, i got nothing. you?"
Dean shook his head "Ms.Chandler's office was just a pile of empty bottle and regret. She probably facedown in a bar somewhere or a ditch. so, what, this whole musical thing, everything, it's just-? It's all a coincidence? there is no case?"
Sam "unless you're seeing something i'm not, no, Dean, there's no case here"
Dean nodded "okay"
Sam " Elenley ?"
Dean and i snapped "shut your face! and get in the car!"
Sam chuckled and we got in the car.