STORY CREATED BY octavia-marie-blake
His shoulders reflect his mindset; tense as he bears the stress of his people upon them. He lets out a deep breathe, meaning to calm his doubts but nothing changes. As Bellamy rubs his sleep-deprived eyes, you watch him being weighed down.
Though peace between the the Grounders and Skaikru has been established after the events of Mount Weather, you can still notice that it isn't enough for Bell. The concept of peace alongside safety has been so foreign for so long that he has no sense of reassurance that it's even real.
You watch him as he walks into his tent and you follow. Finding him sitting on his bed with his head in his hands, he looks up with a small smile upon your entrance.
"Hey, Y/N/N." He smiles, using the nickname he came up with years ago. Bellamy leans back on the bed as you close the tent door, "How are you?"
Raising your eyebrows, you look at him. "Me? What about you?" You respond, looking at the growing bags under his eyes.
Bellamy shrugs, "What about me?"
"You look like you haven't slept in years."
Bell lets out a laugh, running his hand through his dark, tousled hair. "It's nothing." He lies through his teeth, not wanting to pass the weigh from his broad shoulders to yours, "It's just my shoulders, they've been hurting for a while."
"Lay down on your stomach." You tell him, knowing exactly what he needs. He does what you say, smiling to himself at how much you genuinely care for him. The two of you have always been close so giving each other massages and spending quality time together has never been a big deal. "Have you been sleeping?"
"Yes, love." Bellamy mumbles, closing his eyes as your hands work the knots in his back.
The feeling of hearing him using cute nicknames like that isn't enough to make you feel better about the whole situation. Frowning slightly, you take a seat next to him as you speak, "I've heard you wake up and wander around camp each night, Bell."
Giving you a reassuring smile as he turns to look at you, Bellamy does what he's best at; acting like he's fine when he's not. "You don't have to worry about me-"
"Yes I do." You interrupt, giving him an incredulous look. The tension between the two of you has always been there and at the moment it feels extreme, so you find a way to tone it down. "As your best friend it's my job to look out for you."
Bellamy gives you a small smile but it doesn't calm you as he lays back down. "I'll be alright, Y/N." He tells you, resting his hand on yours, "I always am."
With a grave look on your face, you sigh lightly. "You know you can come to me if somethings bothering you. Whenever, however, whatever it is... you can come to me."
Leaning around to look him in the eyes, you give him a small smile, hoping he listens to your advice. All Bell gives you in return is a single nod, his brown eyes never leaving you.
The night was quiet, the only sound was the unkempt bonfire crackling. Everyone had retired to their respective tents and have fallen asleep. Everyone except one. Bellamy's eyes were closed but his mind was far from easy.
He's still, eyebrows furrowing as various images flash behind his eyes - one of his mother's last moments alive, another of the people in the mountain's last breathes.
He feels as though his lungs have stopped working. A feeling of fear creeps into his heart, making him feel cold all over. It shakes him awake.
Calming his breathe, Bellamy sits up slowly with wide eyes. There are tears brimming his eyes and he wishes he could just sleep. That's all he wants. To just sleep.
His memories of his mother have never left his head but he hasn't had nightmares about her death in months. Now it was usually just Mount Weather which was no surprise. What happened in that damn mountain is something he knows he'll never forget.
Bellamy's hands are cold and they shake as he pulls the hot covers off his bare chest. Sitting with his feet on the ground, he runs a hand through his hair in an attempt to tame it from out of his face.
He knows where he should go and who he should visit but something keeps him glued to the edge of his bed. With a sigh, he stands and reaches for his sweater.
You're the only one who might actually be able to help him. Bell pulls the sweater over his head, knowing that the air outside will be terribly cold. When he steps outside of his tent, he's met with the warm glow of the fire.
It's still burning strong despite it keeping no company. He quietly makes his familiar way to his best friends tent, hoping he doesn't make you upset by waking you.
You're in bed, warm covers wrapped around you tightly as you breathe easy. The quiet night translates into your dream and you imagine yourself by the fire, the light warming you up gently.
Bell places a hand on your shoulder. His hand has stopped shaking and just being near you makes his mind clear. "Y/N," he whispers, watching your eyelashes rest against your soft cheeks, "Y/N/N."
He shakes you slightly, tapping his foot against the floor rapidly. You shoulder is warm and it heats his hand up, sheltering it from the cold outside. Feeling yourself waking up slightly you let out a small yawn, turning to face Bellamy.
Barely being able to see you through the dim light of the fire, he whispers again, not sure if you're awake or not. "Sweetheart?"
Gasping awake, you open your eyes immediately and see him towering over you. "Oh shit, hi." You let out a laugh, smiling as you sit up.
"Sorry." He laughs back, the weight in his chest lifting upon seeing you happy not angry for being woken.
"It's okay, Bell." You smile even though he can't possibly see it. Shifting to the side of the bed, you open the covers for him, "Lay down with me."
He hesitates, feeling his heart quicken as he blushes. "Are you sure?" He mutters bashfully, "I don't want to keep you up."
You chuckle lightly, smiling to yourself, "Just come here, I bet you're freezing."
Swallowing the lump in his throat, you feel a dip in the bed as Bellamy lays down beside you. "Thank you." He says quietly, lifting the covers so they're over your shoulder.
"It's alright. I always have time for you." You wonder out loud, feeling as though you're talking to the darkness. If it weren't for his cold hand on your waist and his quiet breathe on your forehead, you wouldn't know he was even there.
"Mm, you do." Bellamy hums, his thumb tracing shapes into your warm skin. It makes you feel extremely tired but you enjoy every second of it. "I don't know what I did to deserve you."
You frown slightly, resting your head upon his broad chest. "Don't say that," you remark slightly tiredly, "you know how great I think you are, Bell."
"Yeah," he replies, "I still can't stop thinking about Mount Weather though."
Looking up, you move back so you're not resting on your pillow that you share with him. Through the dark you can see the reflection of light in his glossy eyes. He looks right back at you.
"Is that why you're awake?" You wonder, your eyes adjusting to the pitch black of your tent.
"Yeah." Bellamy nods in distress, his eyes leaving yours as he turns to lay flat on his back. "I keep trying to get it out of my head but I can't."
Noticing the frustrated tone in his voice, you sit up to lean on your elbow as you look down at him. "Bell, that's completely understandable. What happened in Mount Weather was terrible, no doubt. Don't blame yourself for not being able to just let it go. And more importantly, don't blame yourself for what happened."
"How?" He replies, feeling tears build up in his eyes. "It was my fault, Y/N."
"Fault?" You repeat, the word filling you with a sense of distaste, "Bellamy, you have no faults."
Looking to you, Bellamy's brown eyes are wide as he sits up. The chill from the air nips at his arms but he doesn't care. He watches you. "Y/N, you can't-"
"You don't. I would know. I've been your closest friend for so long." You go on a rant, your voice rising just above a whisper. "Every single day you do what you believe is right. Every single day you're the person who puts their life at risk just to get a chance of saving everybody elses."
"What I believe is right thing isn't always right." He sounds defeated, not caring about the cold that covers him instead of blankets.
"And you can't hate yourself for that." You conclude his sentence, placing a hand on his. "Bellamy," you smile, looking down at him with the utmost admiration. You're letting your true feelings come out and you begin to feel free. "You deserve the entire world and more. And I hope one day you find someone who'll give that to you."
It only takes a pause in Bellamy's mind for him to decide and realise something. His first realisation is that despite the friendship the two of you have, you care for him. Of course you do. How could he have been so blind?
Every late night watching the moon in the dark blue sky, time spent under the warm yellow sun, whenever you would insist on spending time with him, the jokes you both tell to make one another laugh, the shared numbness of diving into the ocean together for the first time ever.
It all adds up. Bellamy just realises it now, in the span of half a second. And he makes his decision.
"I think I've found that person." He replies. And then Bellamy kisses you. He just leans forward, unafraid and courageous, and plants his lips on yours.
It only lasts the fraction of a second because when you realise what he did, you pull back. Your eyes are wide and in shock as you watch him, your chest heaving slightly.
A smile etches itself onto your lips and you place both hands on either side of his cheeks, leaning forward and connecting your lips to his. They're thick and soft against your own and it feels as though you're kissing the dark itself.
Bell's hand on your waist tightens as he moves closer to you, pushing so you're back is flat against the bed. The two of you have never felt anything so right before this.
The kiss is sweet yet full of passion and you feel him smiling into it, which in turn makes you smile back. Be pulls back, hovering over you as he just watches you with a big smile.
His dark, curly hair falls in his face as he presses his lips to your forehead for a few seconds. "I could stay like this forever." You mutter, closing your eyes in pleasure.
He lets out a laugh and it makes your heart melt. He's so precious. His laugh is so precious too. "So could I." He admits, pressing yet another kiss to your cheek in adoration. Moving down to your neck, he then places more gentle pecks to your skin, "I've wanted to kiss you for so long."
Placing your hand in his soft hair, you play with it as he settles to hover over you. "Why didn't you?" You wonder, watching at how the light from outside shines on the side of his face, illuminating up his happy features.
He smiles, shaking his head slightly. "We were best friends."
"We always will be," you reply honestly, knowing nothing can ever tear the two of you apart.
"I'm lucky to have you, Y/N/N." Bellamy admits and he can't help but shift closer to you, wrapping his arms around you tightly, "And now that I do, I'm never letting you go."