Patrick
"Jamie, stop!"
I don't think I've ever seen her walk so fast, she's fucking storming along the pathway, but I'm keeping up with her, trying to ignore the rain battering down onto my face relentlessly.
"Jamie, would you please just stop!?"
She's ignoring me, because she's determined to get away from me. She's not thinking clearly. All she's thinking about is how much she wants to get away from me right now, and I know why. But I don't care. After what we just did, we are not leaving each other this way. We need to sort out our shit, or we're never gonna be able to fucking move on.
But I feel like I don't want to move on anymore. And if this is how she really feels about me, that is a problem. The past half hour has pretty much convinced me that all I am to her is a decent lay. If decent is even the right word. Sex with her is unbelievable, every time. I know that's not a one sided opinion. So I know why she can't keep her hands off of me. As much as she obviously wants to, it's too hard. There's an undeniable magnetism between us now, ever since the first time we kissed. I know she feels it too. It's why she keeps coming back.
But that needs to stop. Tonight has been a major set back for me. I've ruined any progress I may have made over the past couple of weeks (although I'm pretty sure I hadn't made any progress at all, but still) and that wouldn't have happened if she hadn't kissed me first. Im pissed at her. But I want her to be honest with me, I want her to admit that she came looking for me tonight with the intention of getting laid. She's wearing a thong, for Christ sake. She knows I wouldn't have been able to resist her as soon as I discovered that... And I know she hates wearing thongs, she only wears them when she's planning on getting lucky. I feel so flattered. Not. I feel a bit used, actually. Not that I mind. But fuck, I should mind. Why am I so weak? Why can't I resist her?
"Jamie, please!" I shout again through the rain, but she carries on walking quickly up the pathway. All right, fine.
"I'm not gonna follow you home, if that's what you're expecting!"
She stops suddenly, then spins around to face me. Finally, she's listening.
"I'm not expecting you to follow me home! I'm expecting us to go our separate ways. You go home to Amanda, I go home to Benji!"
Why the fuck does she keep bringing up Amanda? This is about me and her, no one else. If she's gonna keep bringing Amanda's name into, I'll stoop to that level too.
"You go home to Benji? What about Noah?" I yell at her through the rain.
"Noah?" She sounds confused. "There is no Noah, not anymore."
"So, it's true, then? You actually turned him down?" I ask her doubtfully.
"Yes, of course I did!" She yells at me, her voice carrying above the sound of the rainfall. "How could I have gone back to Noah after..." she pauses, but I know what she means.
After sleeping with me, why would she want to sleep with Noah again? So what the hell was she doing at his dorm last night? If she was fucking him... I can't even think about that.
"I know you were with him last night, I saw you going into his dorm!" I yell.
This startles her and throws her off. Yeah, that's right. I know you've still been seeing him. There's no point trying to deny it.
"Patrick, I was talking to him. I've been through a lot with him, I'm not just cutting him out of my life!" She yells.
Yeah, sure. Because you fucking love the guy. I get it.
"Whatever!" I yell back at her, tugging a hand through my wet hair. This conversation is starting to stress me out. I wanna end it now. "Next time you're with him though, try not to think about me too much!"
"Oh, like you probably think about me when you're with Amanda!" She's furious. I am too. This is getting us no where.
I sigh in frustration and run both my hands through my hair, shaking some of the water out.
"This isn't happening again, okay? I mean it!" I tell her. I'm not being used like this, not by her.
"Fine by me!" She shouts back, throwing her hands up. "But you can't deny that we have chemistry, not any more, not after that!" She points back in the direction of the boat house. "So whenever you do decide to come back to The Middle, don't touch me! Don't even look at me the wrong way! Because it's... It's... It's like -"
I know exactly what she's talking about. So I finish the sentence for her: "It's like it's meant to be?"
Her features immediately soften and she looks sad now, rather than angry. The rain is hammering down around us, and we're just staring at each other. I wait to see if she'll say anything else.
"I'm gonna give you what you want now, okay?" She says, her voice much softer now.
"And what is it that you think I want from you?" I want everything from her. She knows that. But I know that's not what she's thinking.
"Space, time, distance." She shakes her head then pulls her wet hair back from her face. "Bye, P."
She turns around and continues walking quickly along the path. That's the first time she's called me 'P' in a while. I'm thrown. I just stand here staring after her for a while. Wondering how the hell things got so fucked up between me and one of my best friends.
***
"Patrick! Get in!"
The rain is still beating down as I speedwalk along the street, heading for my apartment. A car has pulled up alongside the curb next to me and rolled down the window. I recognise the driver of the car as Lindsay Irvine. She's the same age as me, from North Bridge. We went all through grade school together. She's nice, and she's offering me a ride. I don't exactly have far to go, though. And I am in no mood to make pleasant small talk with an old school friend.
"I'm fine, thanks!" I yell through her window.
She leans over and opens the passenger door before saying, "Just get in."
Okay, so this rain is getting a little old, and she has leather seats in her car so I won't ruin the interior with my wet clothes. Fuck it, I'll take the ride.
"What on earth are you doing out walking in this rain with just a t-shirt on?" She asks me as I duck into the passenger seat and slam the door closed behind me.
I shake some of the water out of my hair with both hands, "It wasn't raining earlier, or I would have drove."
She laughs and cranks the heat up in her car, before signalling and pulling back out on to the road.
"Thanks, my clothes are fucking soaked. I'll run in and get a towel for your seat when you drop me off." I offer.
"Don't be stupid, it's fine. The leather dries off in seconds." She says, "So, how are you? I haven't seen you in a while."
"Um, been better." I gesture at myself, and she gives me a sideways look before laughing at me. "How are you? You're at Cornell, right? What are you doing here?"
"I'm good, I am at Cornell, and I'm here because my great aunt is dying." She says with a smile.
"Shit, sorry, that sucks." I say, feeling like an asshole for questioning why she's in town. It's none of my business.
"Don't worry about it, she's a horrible old loon. I'm only here to help my mom out." She says, laughing again. "I don't think she's gonna kick the bucket any time soon. So, I'm heading back to Ithaca tomorrow."
"Oh, okay." I don't really know what else to say. I've always gotten along with Lindsay, she's cool, but I haven't seen her in so long, I don't know what to talk to her about. And as previously mentioned, I'm not exactly in the mood for this.
"So, how's things with Joel and the others?" She asks, "I heard you guys got a record deal last year after Jamie Hawkins started at NBU?"
"We don't have a record deal, no. We were offered one. Well, two, actually. But it's too soon." I tell her. I don't really wanna talk about this, but she doesn't know that and I don't wanna be weird. She knows how into drumming and music I am, it would be strange if I didn't wanna talk about it.
"That's awesome though, huh? It's a good sign if you guys are being offered record deals so soon." She points out.
"Yeah." I say absentmindedly, noticing that she's driving in the direction of my mom's house. She doesn't know I moved out, I should have said something, oops. "Sorry, Lindsay, I live with Joel now, over on Watermill Drive? I should have said."
"Oh, not a problem, re-routing now." She says, before turning her steering wheel all the way around to do a U-turn.
"Just you and Joel?" She asks me.
"Yeah. Jay still lives at the palace. And Jamie..." I start choking, just at the mention of her name. What the hell is wrong with me?
"You okay?" Lindsay asks, laughing at me again.
"I'm good." I say, composing myself. "Sorry. Uh, yeah, Jamie still lives at her dad's place."
"And Erin Larson went to NYU?"
"Yeah." Finally, I have something interesting to contribute to the conversation. "Erin and Jay are dating now, actually. And Joel is dating Erin's roommate."
"No kidding?" She says, raising her eyebrows in interest.
"Yeah, Jay's been in love with Erin for years. Took him long enough to finally do something about it, huh?" Wow, am I one to talk?
"And what about you?" She asks with a smile. "I have a feeling you were out for a late night stroll in the rain for a reason... could it be a girl?"
"No!" I say too quickly, causing her to laugh.
"So where were you tonight, if not with a girl?" She's still laughing at me. She knows what I'm like... Or rather, what I used to be like.
It's really none of her business where I was tonight. But she's smart, she goes to an Ivy League college for fuck sake, so I have a feeling any lie I tell her right now will be transparent and only arouse her suspicions more. But I'm not about to tell her I was hooking up with someone in the park, that's too much information.
"I was teaching Middle School kids how to drum at the youth centre." I tell her. That's all she needs to know. But she's looking at me sideways like she knows that's not the whole truth. It is after 11pm. She knows a class at the youth centre wouldn't finish this late. For god sake.
"Then I was with a girl, okay?" I sigh.
"Some things never change." She teases me, "But I never understood why you didn't date, all the girls at school pretty much threw themselves at you, you could have dated anyone you wanted to."
That's where you're wrong, Lindsay. I could never have dated the one girl I wanted.
"I'm just not interested." I shrug my shoulders dismissively.
"Right..." She replies. I feel like she was about to say something else, but thankfully, she doesn't.
We're almost at the apartment, thank god, I don't wanna talk about this kinda stuff anymore. And I really wanna get out of these wet clothes. I direct Lindsay to my building and she pulls up next to the sidewalk outside my front door.
"Thanks for the ride, it was good to see you." I say, "I hope everything goes okay with your great aunt."
She shifts her body around in her seat to face me. "Thanks... Um, Patrick?"
She looks kinda nervous all of a sudden.
"Yeah...?"
"This is gonna sound crazy, but I actually feel like its fate or something that I drove past you tonight. And you look amazing, and your t-shirt is all see-through from the rain." She gestures at my chest and blushes.
Oh, shit. What is she doing? I rack my brains, trying to remember if I ever hooked up with Lindsay Irvine. I'm pretty sure I didn't. I would remember, for fuck sake. I'm sure I didn't. I think we kissed at a party in Middle School once as part of a game of Truth or Dare, but that's it. I took her to our Senior Year Prom even, because we've always gotten on so well - just as friends! She's pretty good looking, but she was always more interested in books and schoolwork than music and drummers. And she's always been so nice. She's never given me the impression that she sees me as anything other than some boy she went to school with. But now...
She's taking a deep breath while gazing intently at her steering wheel and twirling a lock of her golden blonde hair through her fingers. She is pretty, absolutely. In a conservative type of way. She's wearing a cute pink sundress covered with a sensible beige winter coat. I like her as a friend, sure, but she's not my type of girl. And she's smart. Surely to fuck she's not about to suggest what I think she is...
"I'm just gonna come right out and say it, okay? I'm still a virgin, and I've been thinking about it a lot lately. My 20th birthday is in a few months, and I cannot still be a virgin when I'm 20 years old. I just can't."
Oh my god, she is being so dead serious right now. She wants to have sex. Oh, crap.
"So, do you wanna, like, hang for a bit?" She asks. She doesn't sound very confident, but she's sure about this. If she thinks I'm gonna invite her upstairs, she is wrong.
"Lindsay, I don't think that's a good idea, I mean..."
"Since when were you fussy?" She interrupts me. "Or is there actually something wrong with me? No one wants to have sex with me, there must be something wrong with me."
She sighs and sits forward in her seat again, her hands gripping the steering wheel, like she's waiting for me to get out of her car so that she can drive off. I feel bad. Fuck.
"Lindsay, it's not you. It's not you at all. You're awesome, I'm the fuck up. You could do so much better than me. Seriously." I tell her, trying to restore her self-esteem a little. "And trust me, there are loads of guys out there that would kill for the chance to have sex with you."
"You think so? Because nothings happened so far." She sighs again, she's still not sure.
"For sure. And besides, I think it's pretty cool that you haven't done it yet." I assure her, "that tells me that you take sex seriously; you don't just wanna sleep with anyone, you wanna sleep with the right guy. You want it to be...special." Cringe.
"Yeah, right," She says, rolling her eyes, "You don't think it's cool. You've been sleeping with girls for years. And I assume your first time wasn't special?"
"No, it wasn't." It wasn't at all. "But I regret it now. Honestly, I regret most of the times I've..." I don't finish my sentence. This isn't about me.
Her interest has been sparked though, she's looking at me like she really wants to know more. Like I've just told her something she never considered before. That's right, Lindsay, guys that sleep around don't always feel good about it. Fuck, she's either about to cry or laugh, I actually can't tell. I don't wanna leave her this way, anyway.
"Listen, if you wanna go somewhere and talk for a while, that would be okay?" I suggest. "Just let me go change out of these clothes."
"Okay, I'll wait here for you." She nods her head.
She's not expecting an invite upstairs, thank god. She doesn't really wanna have sex. This will be okay. We can talk. I can tell her how unsatisfying meaningless sex is, and try to convince her that asking random boys she went to school with to take her virginity is not something she needs to do.
I get out of her car and run into the building, out of the rain. I'm still absolutely drenched, but dry clothes are near. Thank fuck.
When I unlock the front door to the apartment, I see Joel opening the living room door and gawking at me like I'm covered in blood, not just water.
"Where have you been?" Joel asks, the worry evident in his voice. No need to be worried, Joel. Well, not until I tell you where I've been...
"I was with Jamie." I say with a sigh, closing the front door behind me. I open my mouth to speak again, but he interrupts me.
"Jay's here!" Joel says loudly, pushing the living room door fully open to reveal Jay sitting back on the couch with a beer in hand.
"Oh." I say stupidly as I walk into the living room. I haven't seen him or talked to him since I told him I was taking time away from the band. I can't get into it with him right now, Lindsay is waiting for me.
"Yeah, you know, the other Jamie? Remember me?" He leans forward, and for a second I think he's about to start shouting at me again. But he smiles at me, and I relax a little. "How did the talk with J2 go?"
He just referred to Jamie as J2. He never does that. Only Joel and I ever call them J1 and J2. This means a lot coming from him. It's his way of apologising for being so harsh on me before, and right now it means the world to me.
"Hang on, let me change, I'll be right back!" I call out as I rush back out into the hall and head for my bedroom. I need to change as quickly as possible and get back to Jay while he's still in a seemingly good humour with me. I haven't talked to him since the night I told him I got my volunteer job.
I get the fuck out of all of my wet clothes, before putting on a new t-shirt, a hoodie, and sweats. I shove a beanie into my pocket too for later, my hairs still damp. I walk back through to the living room, raking my hands through my hair again to get rid of any residual drops of water.
"Yeah, so, she told me you guys have been worried, which I totally get. But trust me, you have nothing to worry about. My drum classes have been really good so far, I'm glad I'm doing it. But I am absolutely still one quarter of The Middle. That's never gonna change." I say to Joel and Jay, leaning against the living room wall. I need to get back down to Lindsay, but I don't wanna rush off from then too soon.
Jay raises his eyebrows and looks at Joel. Joel smiles smugly back at him, like told you so.
"Well, I'm glad to hear it." Jay says after a beat. "I have been fucking worried, dude."
"I know you have. And I'm sorry." I say, maintaining eye contact with Jay. This kinda feels like a moment, and I don't wanna ruin it. But Lindsay's waiting for me...
"I knew Jame would be cool with you." Jay says. "She's been much more understanding about this than I have." My eyes flicker over to Joel. He's smiling. Good. "So, I guess. I should apologize too. I overreacted when you told us about the youth centre. Sorry, man."
"You have nothing to be sorry about." I say quickly. Hearing him say that just now has completely restored my confidence in the state of our friendship. So I don't feel so bad about fucking off again so soon. "I'm actually heading out again, though -"
"What? Where are you going?" Joel asks. He's looking at me curiously. He obviously thinks I'm running back out to Jamie. I need to set him straight, and I have absolutely no reason to lie about what I'm doing.
"I ran into Lindsay Irvine on the street, we're gonna hang out."
Jay raises his eyebrows, and Joel frowns at me. I don't really care what they think about this - they've never exactly questioned my hanging out with girls before.
"See you guys later, I gotta go - Lindsay's waiting downstairs." And with that, I rush out.
"Sorry that took so long. Jay and Joel are both there." I tell Lindsay as I get back into her car.
"It's okay." She says with a smile, she looks a lot happier now. Maybe some time to think did her good. "So, where should we go? No where is open this late."
"We could get a smoothie or something from the movies?" I suggest, it's the only place I can think of.
"Sure." She says, starting up the car engine.
***
By the time we get to the movie theatre the rain has eased off dramatically, to the point that we don't need to run inside from Lindsay's car, we just walk. We order a couple of smoothies from the snack bar then sit down at a table.
"Thanks for this, Patrick." She says, "I haven't talked to anyone about it, and I feel like a weights been lifted from my shoulders just from telling you that I'm... Well, you know."
Still a virgin. It's funny, because if this had happened a month ago, I probably would have jumped at the chance to have sex with her. It's been a while since I've had sex with a virgin... To be honest, it isn't something I've done much. I don't know why, exactly. I've always tended to avoid shy girls that don't seem to know what they're doing. I don't think I'm the guy that any innocent virgin wants to lose it to. And believe it or not, I'm not a complete asshole. I mean, look at me right now, sitting here with Lindsay ready to talk through her problem with her. What a guy. I'm not doing this to distract myself from my thoughts about Jamie, not at all.
"That's good, then." I tell her. "And I meant what I said, I honestly think it's pretty great that you haven't done it yet. It'll happen, you'll see. Aren't there any guys that you like at Cornell?"
She blushes as she sips on her smoothie, so instantly I know that there is someone.
"Well, there is this one boy. Charlie. He's from Liverpool in England." Her eyes light up as she talks about him. "He has the most confusing accent I have ever heard, it's called Scouse. But I love it, I could listen to him talk all day."
She sighs and I laugh. "Sounds like you've got it pretty bad for this guy. So what's the problem?"
"The problem, Patrick, is that we aren't all experts with this stuff." She cocks her head and raises an eyebrow at me accusingly, so I laugh again.
"I'm no expert, if that's what you're getting at!" I hold my hands up, palms facing her.
"Maybe not when it comes to actually liking someone, but you're an expert with the rest of it." She blushes again.
"So, nothing has happened with this Charlie then? Nothing at all?" I ask.
"No." She looks down at her smoothie. "I mean, we've hung out a few times, we're in the same study group too, and we get along really well. But he's never actually asked me out or shown an interest in me that way."
Usually, I wouldn't take that to be a great sign. Most guys know what they want and they go for it. But if this Charlie is anything like Lindsay, he's probably just too shy. Not the type to be direct with a girl.
"You should ask him out." I say, and she practically chokes on her smoothie. "And don't tell me you don't have the confidence. You propositioned me in your car back there for fuck sake."
We both laugh and she nods her head. "Right. That's just because I'm worried about this virginity thing. Like, if I did end up... going there with Charlie, I'd be so embarrassed about still being a virgin. He'd think I'm a total loser."
"Trust me, that is not what he'd think." I assure her. He'd be thinking oh my god I'm the only guy that has ever fucked this girl, this is awesome. We are possessive creatures, if we care enough.
"Ugh, I just don't know, Patrick." She says, as a bunch of people start walking out of the entrance hall to the movie screens. And I recognise a couple of them. Fuck. Noah and Zach.
"I mean, he may not even want to go out with me, let along do anything else with me." Lindsay says, as I accidentally make eye contact with Noah. I look away quickly.
"Right, but you're not gonna know until you do something about it." I tell Lindsay, trying my best to keep my eyes fixed on her and ignore all the people walking past us towards the exit.
"I know, you're right. Of course you're right. I just wish he would make the first move, you know?" She says.
"Yeah." We've barely touched our smoothies but I really wanna get out of here now, because my peripheral vision tells me that Noah and Zach are lingering in the foyer. Why aren't they leaving? Just fucking leave already.
"So, what about you anyway?" Lindsay asks me, "Who's this girl you were with tonight? Anyone special?"
Jesus Lindsay, how much time do you have? I can feel Noah's eyes on me though, and I'm worried that he's gonna come over here and talk to me. Please don't, please don't.
"Oh, you know me, no one's special." I say absentmindedly, trying so fucking hard to ignore them.
"Oh, come on. Surely there's one girl that stands out among the rest?" She asks me, just as Kim and her friend Nikki come out of the restrooms and join Noah and Zach. Fuck, if the boys weren't planning on talking to me, I know Kim will.
"Nah, not really." I say, lowering my voice because for fuck sake Noah and his friends are walking over here, lead by Kim.
"That's a real shame, Patrick. If you'd give it a try, I'm sure you'd be an awesome boyfriend." She smiles at me, not realising what she's done, because Kim is next to us now and I know she caught the end of what Lindsay just said.
"Woah, what's that? Did I just hear the words 'Patrick' and 'boyfriend' in the same sentence?" Kim makes her presence known in her usual playful manner.
"Hi, Kim. Guys." I can't ignore them, I know them all. I wish they would just fuck off though. Especially him. He's looking at me like I'm a fucking animal in a zoo. What's the matter, Noah? Never seen me with a girl before? Get with the fucking programme.
"Seriously, girl, you're wasting your time on this one." Kim laughs, she thinks she's being so funny right now. Lindsay just looks mildly amused, thank god she knows me.
"Oh, I know that, don't worry about it, I'm just looking for one wild night of passion, then I never wanna see this pretty face again." Lindsay says to Kim, causing Zach and Nikki to laugh. I notice Noah doesn't.
"Wow, touche." Kim says, obviously impressed with Lindsay's quick comeback. "You clearly know who you're dealing with."
"Well, I've known him since I was 5 years old, so, yeah I do." Lindsay smiles up at Kim and takes a sip of her smoothie.
"Oh, okay. Just friends, I get it." Kim replies.
"I didn't know you had any girl friends, Patrick." Nikki comments, looking at Lindsay with interest. "You know, besides Jamie."
My eyes flicker over to Noah at the mention of Jamie's name, and he's looking right back at me. Why does he have to look so intense all the time? Fucking asshole.
"I'm from North Bridge," Lindsay explains, "We went through grade school together."
"Ah, I see." Nikki says.
"Did you guys go to see the new Marvel movie?" Zach asks. "We just saw it, so much better than the last one!"
"We just came here for a couple of late night smoothies." Lindsay tells him after an awkward pause where I don't say anything. She doesn't even know these people, I should talk more.
"Yeah, Lindsay's heading back to Ithaca tomorrow, she goes to Cornell, so we're just catching up, you know?" I tell them. Good, that was good.
"Cornell? Wow, impressive." Zach says.
"This actually explains a lot, I thought you guys looked a little too friendly over here." Kim says with a wicked grin. "And god knows you'd never actually take a girl out without an ulterior motive, right?"
I force a small laugh. Jesus, is my reputation actually that bad? Must be. Good job I don't care what other people think of me. But why hasn't Noah said anything? Of the four of them, he's the one I know the most. That's weird, right? Maybe because him and Jamie are apparently over now, he feels awkward around me or whatever. But she was with him last night...
"He's already woo-ed some other poor girl tonight, he's good." Lindsay says, winking at me. Don't tell them that, Lindsay. Fuck.
Kim and Nikki laugh, Zach rolls his eyes playfully, Noah's expression remains exactly the same. What is with him? He's always been okay with me before... Fucking dick.
"Why am I not surprised?" Kim says, still laughing.
Seriously, why is Noah just standing there scowling at me? What the hell did I ever do to him?
"Well, we should get going, early classes tomorrow." Zach says, in an attempt to stop his girlfriend's unnecessary speculation about my sex life.
Jamie said she went over to talk to Noah last night because she doesn't wanna just cut him out of her life. What exactly did she mean by that? She wants to be his friend or some shit? Friends talk. Maybe she told him about me... No. Surely not. She went there to hook up with him, there's no other reason.
"Sure, nice to meet you guys. Well, sort of." Lindsay says. I didn't exactly introduce anyone, but I don't care. Noah is pissing me off.
Nikki and Kim say bye to us, and Noah doesn't say anything. He turns to walk away with the others. But, nah. Fuck this.
"Noah, what's up your ass?" I ask him evenly before he can leave.
They all turn around, startled by my sudden rude outburst. I don't care, I wanna know what, if anything, he has to say to me.
"Excuse me?" He says, not in a friendly way.
"You just stood there like a statue just now, what, I don't even get a hello from you anymore?" I'm studying him for a reaction, but as expected, there isn't one.
"There was nothing to say, that's all." He says coolly. Dick. "See you around."
"Yeah." I say, as the others give him funny looks and they make their way towards the exit.
"What the hell was that?" Lindsay turns on me as soon as they're out of earshot. "Who is that guy?"
"Ugh, no one." I don't have the energy to explain Noah Adams to her.
"Uh, he obviously isn't no one." Lindsay says, pursing her lips and crossing her arms.
I roll my eyes. "He's Jamie's ex" would totally be a satisfactory explanation of who he is, but for some fucking reason, I go on: "Or something like that, I don't actually know. They were never official, but they were dating or whatever, spending a lot of time together, having sex, she was crazy about him. But apparently she ended it with him the other week, but I don't know. She was at his place last night. I'm pretty sure she's in love with him or whatever, but he's not right for her at all. It's bullshit. And he's an asshole."
I pick up my smoothie and finish what's left in the cup before slamming it back down on to the table. I didn't mean to slam it. And Lindsay is looking at me with new eyes. Damn, what did I say?
"Wow, really taking the overprotective older brother thing to the extreme these days, huh? Are Jay and Joel as full on as you? I always thought Jay was the worst one when it came to Jamie and boys."
"I'm not her brother, don't say that." I spit back at her. Christ, if Jamie and I were related we'd both be burning in hell by now. Or rotting in jail, whichever is worse.
"Woah, okay, defensive much?" She says, sitting back in her chair and studying me. "If I didn't know any better, I would think you have a thing for Jamie."
Oh, god.
"But that's crazy." She laughs the idea off. Thank you, lord. "Everyone knows she's like a little sister to you guys. Like a sister."
She adds that last part because I glared at her when she used the word 'sister'. I am glad she finds the idea ridiculous though.
"Right." I say, before checking the time on my phone. Midnight is long past now. "We should get going soon, it's late."
If she's gonna keep talking about Jamie, I don't wanna be a part of it. But, she doesn't. She talks about Charlie some more while she finishes her smoothie, then we leave. On the car ride back she tells me she's gonna ask Charlie out soon, and I encourage her. I don't know if Charlie's gonna go for it, but all she can do is try. And honestly, I didn't listen much when she was talking about him anyway. My mind was elsewhere.
And to think, only a few hours ago I added 'listen to other girls when they talk' to my action points for getting over Jamie.
Tonight really has been a complete fuck up on my part.