What could I possibly say to make her understand that I am sorry and that I feel bad for what I said and did? God, I feel so fucking stupid. I groaned and buried my face into my hands as I thought of a million different ways that didn't seem to want to pan out the way that I wanted them to. My head shot up as the front door opened, Euca. I stood slowly as she walked inside, my heart beating faster than I wanted it to.
Her eyes met mine and I sighed softly.
"Hey..." She muttered and rubbed her arm.
I licked my lips and took a deep breath.
"Listen-" We both spoke in unison and paused.
I smiled weakly.
"Go ahead..."
I shook my head, grabbing her arm I pulled her into my arms and hugged her tight.
Her arms laced around my neck and hugged me back tight," This works too.."
I chuckled softly and buried my face into her neck," Yeah, it does..."
We were quiet, just standing there with each other. No words. Just hugging. There was nothing else that was really needed, we knew what the other meant. That we were sorry for the things we said and that we just wanted to get passed it. This was the best way to convey so many things that would likely come out with a horde of stutters and slurs as you try to find the right way to put it so that you didn't upset the other more than they already were.
"Thanks... for... punching him in the nose..." Euca muttered into my shoulder, shifting slightly so she was hiding in the crook of my neck.
I chuckled again," Really?"
"Yeah," She breathed and pulled away slightly to look at me," He needed a good punch to the face anyhow."
I smiled down at her," Yeah, anyone who hurts you deserves that love." I kissed the top of her head and pulled her back into my chest," I'll never stop protecting you love..."
She nuzzled back into my neck without another word.
I smiled and nodded as I held her.
"Alright you two, break it up or get a room." Jayden laughed.
I shot a quick playful glare his way before letting Euca go.
She smiled as she walked up to him and gave him a gentle shove as she walked into the kitchen.
A few minutes later, we had gathered again in the kitchen to eat some breakfast. Things were lightened again with the whole argument out and cleared up. Thanks to Duke, of course, I later found out from a slightly annoyed Angelica venting to Jayden.
The table was loud as we ate, laughter, voices and just us being us really. These are the moments that I'll miss when Jayden and I have to go back home. Although, I doubt I won't be able to relive it considering that Jayden never seems to stop recording moments like these. It was nice. We take videos and pictures as often as any of us are really able to.
"What are we going to do today?" Joseph asked as we cleaned up.
That came with a moment of silence as we thought about today's events.
"What if we go up to the mountains?" Angie spoke out," Since it's fall, it's really beautiful up there."
"How about camping out for the night? I mean we could all use the tranquility." Ale added.
"Do we have enough supplies?" Josi asked.
"I'm sure we can all pitch in something." I smiled.
"I have a couple of tents at my house."
"I've got two sleeping bags."
"I have one in the garage, and I can ask my cousin's for theirs. They have four."
" I have one more."
"That brings us up to seven."
"We need one more."
"I don't mind sharing."
"Knock it off Jayden."
"They don't cost too much I can go buy the last one."
"That gives us all something to do, who is going to get the food and stuff together."
"Well, Archer can drop us all off at our places to grab some clothes and me to get those four sleeping bags. Duke can pack some food and first aid."
We all nodded and broke off for the plan. I dropped off the three girls and Jayden before taking Euca to pick up some stuff and going to my exchange family to grab some more clothes before making another round, picking everyone up again before heading back to Euca's place to gather back up again. Everyone was prepared and Duke had packed up enough food for lunch, dinner, and breakfast as well as some first aid for a just in case scenario.
"Are we all good?" Euca asked, adjusting the straps on her bag.
"My exchange home had some extra sleeping bags so, you don't need to go and buy one mate," Jayden spoke, tossing a blue sleeping bag my way.
"Awesome." I smiled and placed it on the floor.
We all double checked our stuff before piling into the van and driving off toward the mountains. The girls had my aux cord and were singing to the songs happily. It was a mixture of English, Korean, Chinese, and Japanese music artists. I smiled and stole a glance at Jayden, who of course was recording. The girls didn't entirely mind. They played around with the two of us as we drove.
It was nice seeing them like this, happy with no stress about what tomorrow would bring. After this last performance, I was worried that it was going to take a minute for them to get back up and on their feet again with all that was going on. Yet here they were, a day later with no worries about anything and moving around like they hadn't drained the last of their energy the other day. All of it was a bit odd, these girls weren't normal. It would take any normal person days to recover from the intense practice and studying that they had done. Here they were, these four girls, hours of harsh practice and hundreds of pain relief patches later, singing and playing around with each other as if nothing had happened. There is no doubt in my mind that these girls were abnormal but that was the best thing about them, they didn't give two fucks about social norms or what other people thought or wanted, they just wanted to be themselves to the best of their abilities. And that was awesome.
After about an hour we had arrived, after parking, we unloaded and took a quick hike through the woods to find some good camping ground. We quickly pitched the two large tents and set up our stuff: the sleeping bags, a circle for a campfire and some places to sit.
I wiped the sweat from my face, even though it was cold up here, all the work still gave a good heat.
"I think that's everything." Jayden breathed stretching his arms high above his head.
"Guys I found a stream!" Euca giggled excitedly and the girls followed her back through the thick brush.
I smiled and shook my head," We should follow yeah?"
The guys agreed and trailed them to a small stream just outside our campsite.
The four were kneeled down close, careful not to tip over into the water that was likely freezing. Smiling I sat next to Euca who was trailing her hand over the water, just enough to graze and create ripples through the water. She looked at peace, this was her happy place. For someone so introverted and hating the outside, this was her most natural place. In the woods where there wasn't anyone to bother her or hurt her. I placed my hand at the small of her back, she wasn't startled, she leaned back into my hand until she was sitting down on the ground.
"Look," She whispered soft and pointed to the deeper part of the water. There were some small fish swimming downstream. I couldn't make out the species, just the darkened shape in the water.
I smiled and nodded," Yeah.."
We all sat there beside the stream for a while just talking with each other. The oddest part is how we were seated, it was like something from a movie. Jayden was sitting beside Angie, handing her small stones to toss in the water; Duke was beside Josephine, talking soft with her about something I couldn't make out; Joseph was laying on Ale's lap pointing up at the clouds and laughing with her; me, I was beside Euca, her head resting on my shoulder and my arm wrapped securely around her waist. All of it was surreal, and at the same time, it was natural. A small breeze swept over as it got later, causing Euca to shiver and curl into my side. I tensed up slightly at the action and almost immediately relaxed.
"Cold?" I chuckled and held her close.
She nodded and relaxed in my arms.
I smiled as I held her," We should get back to camp. It's getting late out."
With a small echo of agreement, we made our way back to camp. The girls gathered around the small hole we had dug in the ground for the fire. I grabbed the extra hoodie I had packed and put it over Euca.
"Here, while we start up the fire," I whispered softly.
Euca looked up at me," You know the rules."
"Yeah, yeah." I chuckled," It's all yours' love."
She smiled and hugged it around her.
I have a feeling I made the other guys feel slightly stupid for not doing it first as they rushed to mimic the action with the girls. After that, we gathered some dry wood and brush to start a fire to keep the girls warm until they were ready for some shuteye.
One by one, each of us found our way to the tents for some well-wanted sleep.
A few hours later I woke up and walked out of the tent as quiet as I was able so that I didn't wake the other guys. I was surprised to see Euca sitting out by the dead fire.
"Hey," I whispered, walking up to her.
She looked back at me," What are you doing up?"
I sat on the log next to her," I was about to ask you the same thing love."
"Nightmares..." She admitted pulling her legs up to her chest and pulling the hood tighter over her head.
I sighed and wrapped an arm around her," It's alright love. You don't need to be afraid of anything."
"Then why do I still get scared?" She muttered, leaning into my embrace and relaxing. Her legs falling back down to the ground.
I hummed," Because, you never had someone to protect you. I'm here now, and I won't let anything, real or not hurt you."
"How do you stop a dream?" She asked, an empty laugh coating the question.
"By being there when you wake up, making sure that you are still ok." I smiled and kissed her head," By making sure that you are safe."
She shivered slightly and curled closer to me," How do I stop being afraid?"
I held her tight in my arms," Fear isn't a bad thing, it's what makes us keep going."
"I'm just so tired..."
"I know love, but now," I breathed and pulled her into my lap," Now you have people that are willing and ready to keep you safe so that you can rest."
She curled deeper into my arms and nestled into my neck," Promise...?"
"I promise love." I whispered as I held her.
She said one last thing before she passed out from her exhaustion.
"Don't leave me..."
I smiled faintly," I can't promise that one love, but I'll stay for as long as I'm able."
I waited a few moments before picking her up and putting her back in her tent. When I went to leave, I heard a small but audible whimper. Looking back at Euca, I waited silently. Again she whimpered and curled in her sleeping bag.
Sighing soft I sat next to her and shook her gently," Hun, wake up... Wake up.."
Her eyes shot open, desperately trying to focus as a sudden stream of tears started to streak down her face.
I hushed her quickly and laid next to her, trying to calm her down. After another few minutes, she fell back to sleep, this time, I didn't dare to leave her side. Yet, still she woke up with terror coating her features.
"It's ok," I breathed, pulling her in close.
"I'm scared..." She muttered," I'm so scared..."
I nodded and kissed her nose," You wanna take a small walk?"
With a small sniffle, she nodded and sighed.
I took her for a small walk around the campsite and we talked a little bit before she felt tired again. This time I took her into my tent and allowed her to lay with me, with her curled in my arms, she finally slept without a nightmare.