A/N: 'Yung mga naka-Italic sa third person's pov ay partly past events. Flashback ika nga.
[78] COLD FEET
KURT'S POV
"I am fvcking nervous," bulong ko sa sarili ko habang nakatitig sa pagkaing nakahain sa harapan ko. As much as I wanted to eat, I can't. Kung kanina ay nagugutom ako, ngayon naman ay nawalan na ako ng gana. Ngayon ko lang yata naramdaman ang ganito. This is fvcking frustrating because this isn't so me.
"Relax. Kumain ka muna, dre. Mahaba-haba 'yung misa. Ikaw din," Nathan said as he slid another plate of food towards me.
Si Nathan, siya ang tatayong bestman ng kasal ko-- kasal namin ni Crystal. I don't know why but that idea put a smile on my face but then again, it felt like someone has spilled a cold water on me. Bumalik ang kaba ko. Fvck, ikakasal na ba talaga kami?
"Naguguluhan ako."
"Saan?"
Inabot ko ang baso ng tubig at uminom muna bago ako nagsalita. "I don't even know if I am just dreaming or whatever, but could you please enlighten me? Masyadong mabilis ang pangyayari."
He laughed heartily on what I said so I can't help but to stare at him in irritation.
"I'm serious," I said and he stopped. "I woke up with a heavy head due to hangover this morning, then dragged by my folks out of my house to attend someone's wedding whom I thought it's Crystal's and was called by Lola Almira afterwards to come over to pick her up tapos nandito ako ngayon, ikakasal na."
I breathed in and out and then took another gulp of the water to relax my nerves.
"Now tell me, dude. Am I just dreaming?"
Tumawa siya habang iniiling ang ulo niya. "Hindi---"
"... or am I just being toyed again?" I asked.
Umayos siya ng upo sa harapan ko at tinignan ako ng seryoso. "Tignan mo ang sarili mo, Kurt. Nakasuot ka na nga ng Armani Tuxedo, saka ka pa nangangamba dyan? Alam mo, dre. Gutom lang 'yan eh. Osya, tama na 'yang hallucination mo at kumain ka na. Wedding jitters lang yan."
I frowned. He's not helping anyway. Of course, I want to marry Crystal whenever it's possible, but I still wanted to know how everything came into this. It felt so surreal. Maraming tanong ang gumugulo sa isip ko.
"Tanggap na ba ako ng mga magulang ni Crystal?" I asked him but then realized I was so fool upon asking such question to him. Wala naman siyang alam. Dammit.
He smiled to me casually. "Alam mo, dre. Ganyan din yung naramdaman ko nung kasal ko eh. Magkaiba nga lang tayo ng sitwasyon pero yung pakiramdam, ganun na ganun."
He got up to his feet and fixed his black suit. Walang katao-tao sa cafe' na ito dahil bukod sa nasa 10th floor ito ng hotel ay abala ang lahat sa venue ng kasal ko.
Kasal ko. Sh1t. My rapid heartbeat doubled at the idea.
"Mawawala din 'yang tension mo kapag nasa altar ka na katabi ang bride mo, at mapapalitan 'yan ng excitement," he assuringly said as he looked at his wristwatch and told me, "Tara na. Kailangan na nating pumunta dun."
Sh1tty hell. I think I just felt my stomach turned upside down. Fvck.
GAIL'S POV
"Ang ganda ng ngiti ng bunso namin." Napatingin ako kay Mommy pagkasabi niya no'n. Kasalukuyan kaming nakasakay sa isang karwahe. Funny may it seemed, pero ito yung isa sa mga fantasies ko nung bata pa ako-- ang makasakay sa karwaheng katulad ng mga prinsesa sa fairytale stories. Kanina lang ako nainform na isang garden wedding pala ang theme ng kasal namin ni Kurt.
Kasal namin ni Kurt...
Ang sarap sa pakiramdam na kasal namin ni Kurt ang nasa isip ko ngayon. Parang kanina lang ay pakiramdam ko ay it's a matter of life and death, pero sa isang iglap lang ay nabaligtad ang lahat.
"Here, let me fix your hair," my Mom volunteered as she fixed my tiara. "Anong pakiramdam ng baby girl namin ngayon?"
I drew a deep breath as I remembered what happened just an hour ago. Kusang nag-init ang mukha ko nang maalala ko ang sinabi ko kay Kurt kanina. Lola Almira did give me options of whom I want to end up with; my past or my present?
And I chose both.
"I'm... excited," sabi ko at yumuko. "Kinakabahan ako, pero masaya."
"Crystal Gail, aren't you mad at me?"
That made me look up at Mom, wondering what the question was for. "Mom---"
"Naiintindihan ko naman kung galit ka sa akin dahil hinayaan kong masaktan ka pero ginawa ko naman ang lahat para makabawi sayo..." Her eyes turned serious as she held my hand. "Your dad as well. Nahihiya nga siya kung sisipot pa siya sa kasal mo."
I suddenly felt vulnerable at the thought of not having Dad on my side as I walked on the aisle. It feels so empty lalo na kapag 'yung taong naging malaking parte ng buhay mo ay wala sa espesyal na araw mo.
It's just so disappointing.
"Mukhang kailangan na yata nating lumabas, Crystal Gail," sabi ni Mommy na siyang nagpabalik sa akin sa sarili ko. I sighed hopelessly and feigned a smile to Mom. "I still hope he's here."
Bumukas ang pinto ng karwahe at sumalubong sa amin ang nakangiting mukha ni Daddy. Natigilan ako at napasinghap.
"D..dad."
He smiled and aimed his arm for me. "Gusto ko sanang ihatid ka sa altar, anak. Will you let me?"
I smiled warmly, misty-eyed. Unti-unti nang nabubuo ang sarili ko. It feels complete having my parents with me on my special day.
"Of course, Dad."
He guided me out of the carriage with them on my both sides. Hindi ko maintindihan ang nararamdaman kong saya nang lumapat na ang mga paa ko sa bukana ng lugar kung saan gaganapin ang kasal ko. Hindi gaanong marami ang mga bisita. Maraming bulaklak sa paligid, miski ang carpet ay may white at red rose petals na nakakalat dito. Pakiramdam ko tuloy ako si Bella Swan ng Twilight. Everything seems perfect.
The song shifted into a new one as the lights, flashes, and everyone's attention turned to us--- to me.
Nagsimula nang magwala ang puso ko at magflush pababa sa digestive system ko nang makita ko ang lalaking nasa kabilang dulo ng altar. I couldn't clearly see him because of the vague light around him and it makes me feel more excited to meet him down the aisle.
When the music ends
When the lights go dim
When there's no one else around
I will still be here
We began taking steps towards the man I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with. Slowly, savouring the feeling of being the bride.
When the color fade
When the darkness breaks the light
When hope is out of sight
Love will be our guide
"I'm very sorry, Crystal." I heard Dad say and I tilted my head as we continued taking our steps forward. "I am sorry for causing you pain, Crystal. I should have been brave enough to face my problem without using you."
"Dad..."
"Sana mapatawad mo ako despite what I did to you."
'Cause love is strong
Love is never wrong
Love is where we belong
It felt like someone squeezes my heart into bits. My lips were trembling. Ayokong umiyak, pero pakiramdam ko ay nag-iinit na ang mga sulok ng mga mata ko.
"... Maybe not now. Naiintindihan ko."
I will make this clear
I will always be here
I love you, I do, I do
Napalunok ako nang makarating na kami sa dulo ng altar. It's like everyone disappeared from my sight at tanging si Kurt lang ang naiwan.
So smile
You have me for life
I love you, I do, I do
"Hi." He greeted with a smile.
"Hello," I greeted back with a smile too. I nearly giggled sa inasta namin. Para kaming teenagers na nahihiya sa isa't-isa.
My heart thumped widely as my Mom pulled me into an embrace. She was crying silently as she carressed my back.
Love will be our song
Let this love be known
"Be happy. Sorry sa lahat, anak." She whispered and kissed me on the forehead, and it really touched my heart as she said to me, "I love you."
"... I love you too, Mom."
Love is God's finest work of art
Love will shine in the dark
Naramdaman ko ang paglapat ng palad ni Daddy sa likod ko kaya hinarap ko siya. He then hugged me to his chest and sighed loudly.
"I am really sorry, anak."
'Cause this feels colder
We can start all over and over and over again
"... I forgive you, Dad. You're still my favorite man in this world anyway," I whispered and felt his embrace getting tighter. "I love you and thank you."
I will make this clear
I will always be here
I love you, I do, I do
"Tama na yan," sita ni Mommy kaya naman natawa kami. Dad released from the hug and took my hand to pass it on Kurt. Napatikom ako ng bibig dahil hindi maalis ni Kurt ang titig niya sa akin.
"Sorry sa lahat, Kurt. Hope we can talk alone some other time but for now---" he tapped his shoulder.
So smile
You have me for life
I love you, I do, I do
"... pinapaubaya na namin sayo ang anak namin."
"I will. Thanks---"
"Start calling me Dad... Again."
Those were the words that made my heart stop from this very moment. Kahit maraming bagay ang gumugulo sa isip ko kung paano kami humantong sa ganito, isinasantabi ko muna iyon sa ngayon.
Kurt squeezed my hand as he guided me up on our place infront of the priest.
"Ready to become my wife?" he whispered and I replied it with a sweet smile as we set foot on where should we stand.
"Definitely. Ikaw yata ang hindi ready. Nanginginig ka eh," I grinned as I felt his hand shaking on mine. "Not so you, Mr. Lee."
"Stop teasing me. I'll make sure you'll see yourself shaking too tonight."
My eyes rounded, gawking at him and he returned it with a wink. Really, Kurt? Sa harapan ng pari. Maghunusdili ka sa bibig mo.
"Ladies and gentlemen, family and friends, we are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the joining of Mr. Tristan Kurt Lee and Ms. Crystal Gail Rivera in marriage..."
New life. Still us, and it feels right.
THIRD PERSON'S POV
Maluha-luha pero nakangiti si Lola Almira habang pinapanuod sina Kurt at Crystal sa harapan. Kanina pa siya pinapatahan ng asawa niya pero lagi niya itong sinisiko. Bakit ba? Tears of joy naman ang niluluha niya at hindi dahil sa kalungkutan.
"Pagkatapos nito, uuwi na tayo. Ilang Linggo ka nang pagod, Almira."
"No worries. I'm feeling well."
Worth it lahat ang pinaghirapan niya para lang sumaya ang kanyang paboritong apo. Seeing Crystal smile sweetly to her husband feels like a relief to her.
Siguro nga ay napagod siya para lang malaman ang lahat ng nangyari sa Pilipinas, pero sulit naman dahil kasiyahan ng apo niya ang kapalit. She suddenly remembered the day Kaye Anne called her up when she was still in the States. Dun pa lang ay nakaramdam na siya ng kaba kaya naman tinakasan niya ang asawa niya para lumipad pabalik ng Pilipinas.
Admittedly, she's old but that didn't stop her from finding out what the real score has been. Pagkalapag pa lang niya ng bansa ay kinontak niya kaagad si Jade, ang dating secretary ni Crystal para lamang malaman niya kung ano na ang nangyayari sa kumpanya.
She was told by Kaye Anne over the phone that Crystal got involved in a fix marriage that's why the first thing she did was to get a check on the company. She wasn't contented more so she hired another investigator to check on her daughter--- Trinity and her husband--- Mirko's status and that's how she found out the real score.
... Debts.
She shook her head unbelievingly. Dahil sa utang ay pinapahirapan na nila ang kanyang apo? That's so silly of them. She also remembered how she followed Kurt for the entire day. Lahat ng pangyayari ay nasaksihan niya kaya naman hindi niya na napigilan ang sarili na lapitan si Kurt nang mapadpad ito sa isang park. At first, she find it so ridiculous on why Kurt didn't even recognize her pero 'di kalauna'y naalala niyang may amnesia nga pala ito.
"Perhaps, happiness is not for me." Nanikip ang dibdib niya sa sinabi niyang 'yon. It made her feel like going to Mirko and Trinity that moment to confront them how they've been ruining someone's life here.
"Thanks for your time. I got to go, Lola. Bye."
He was about to walk away when she stopped him. Kapag hinayaan ko siyang lumayo, hindi lang siya ang masasaktan kundi pati ang apo ko at hindi ako matatahimik kapag nangyari 'yon, she thought.
"I'll help you. Tinanggap na kitang apo ko noon diba? I won't let some else takes your place, Kurt. I gave you my blessing, didn't I?"
Since then, sinabi niya sa sarili niya na hindi siya babalik pauwi ng States hangga't hindi niya naaayos ang lahat. Travis Choi V-- She had him investigated as well regarding this matter and found out everything about his background.
Unang pagkikita pa lang nila'y pinainit na nito ang dugo niya. Tandang-tanda pa nito ang sinabi niya sa kanya no'n.
"I'm sorry but you can't stop us, Ma'am. You're actually out of the business so if you'll excuse."
Tuwing naaalala niya 'yon ay literal na sumasakit ang batok niya. Oh good Lord, please do enlighten this young man, she thought to herself.
She snapped back to reality when she heard Crystal's voice echoed through the mic. Napahilot siya sa sentido niya nang alalahanin ang lahat ng pangyayari pero tila hinaplos ng kung sinumang anghel ang puso niya nang makita ang dalawa sa altar-- magkaharapan at hawak ni Crystal ang kamay ni Kurt.
Exchanging of vows...
"I, Crystal Gail Rivera, choose you, Tristan Kurt Lee, to be my partner in life." She said teary-eyed while staring deeply to his eyes. "I promise to love you endlessly. Not just a promise, but I'll do it constantly. I will comfort you when your temper's off and I will never leave you even when I get pissed off," Crystal said and it's their turn to giggle at her vow.
They all watched Crystal as she slid the ring on Kurt's finger and Lola Almira can't help herself but to sigh in relief. "My cute Crystal, what kind of vow is that?" she mumbled.
"Yaan mo na. Hindi siya prepared diba?" Her husband whispered back. Kung sabagay. Ganun din naman ako nung kinasal kami ng Fernando ng buhay ko. Ganyang-ganyan kami nung kabataan namin, sa isip-isip niya.
It was Kurt's turn to say his vow.
"From the moment our paths crossed, you've surprised me, distracted me, captivated me and challenged me in a way that no human being ever has. I don't regret stealing your first kiss when you were only 16, and I don't even get embarrased whenever we're calling each other 'baby love' in public. Your voice sounded so sweet in my ears and your presence is such a beautiful image in my eyes. I don't know if you casted a spell on me for making me this so inlove with you but one thing's for sure... No matter what trials we encounter together, how much time has passed or how many times fate has budged into us, I will always love you with every beat of my heart...."
Sigh of relief.
"To infinity and beyond..." They said in chorus as everyone applauded in joy.
Signing of the marriage contract...
Removal of Cording and veil...
Lighting of the unity and candle...
And at last, the long wait is over. Lola Almira released a sigh of relief as she turned her head on to the last part of the ceremony.
"... I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."
A blissful kiss sealed the special day of her favorite girl as the loud applause took over afterwards. Kasabay nito ay ang paglubog ng araw sa Taal lake. What a beautiful scene it has been.
"Mom."
She tilted her head to the baritone voice she heard and saw this jerk of a man standing infront of her. She got on her feet to level him but the latter was too tall to reach.
"Yes?"
He sighed and pulled her into a hug. She stiffened as he whispered, "I'm sorry. Sorry for the trouble I've caused and I'd want to thank you for helping me get through this."
Napangiti nalang siya sabay tapik sa likod niya. "Kung hindi ka lang talaga pumayag sa kasal na ito, babawiin ko na talaga ang anak ko't mga apo ko mula sayo, Mirko. Don't do that again."
"Mom..."
"Biro lang. Pera lang 'yan, anak. Mapapalitan yan, pero 'yung kaligayahan ng anak mo, mahirap ibigay iyon sa kanya," she pulled away and stared at him smilingly. "Always do the right thing. 'Yung wala kang naaagrabyado. 'Yung wala kang nasasaktang ibang tao. Ulitin mo pa 'yan, pupulutin ka talaga sa kangkungan."
"I will," he said smiling sincerely to me.
Tumabi sa kanya ang asawa niya na madalas niyang tawagin na 'Fernando ng buhay ko' at tinapik ang balikat niya. Ganito talaga ang asawa ko, man of few words opposing me, she said to herself.
"Pero Mom, anong ginawa mo kay Travis para mapaatras siya sa kasal? You still haven't told me about it," Mirko asked and Lola Almira just shrugged and smirked it off.
Kamusta na nga kaya ang sutil na batang 'yon?
KAYE ANNE'S POV
"Ang ganda ng vows nila, Pandak. To think na biglaan lang ang lahat tapos... tapos, haaaayy!"
Habang abala ang lahat sa picture taking ay lumayo muna kami pansamantala ng asawa ko para pagmasdan ang sunset. The scene is so refreshing! 'Yung tipong kulay pink-orange na ang paligid at ang nasa harapan mo lang ay ang lawa ng Taal. Ang sarap pa sa pakiramdam ng hangin. Parang pinaghehele ka sa pagtulog.
"Inggit ka na naman. At least tayo twice kinasal," sabi ni Nathan kaya napatingin ako sa kanya. "Sa susunod, try natin 'yung underwater wedding. Gusto mo?" he grinned.
"Kahit ikaw nalang. Try mo na rin 'yung skydiving wedding."
Tumawa lang siya at nagulat ako nang mabilis siyang humalik sa kaliwang pisngi ko. Kahit na mag-asawa na kami, hindi ko pa rin mapigilan ang sarili na mag-init ang buong mukha. Grr! Wala eh. Si Nathan 'yan. Habang tumatagal, lalong sumasarap.
Napahagikhik tuloy ako sa iniisip ko. Parang ang pervert ng dating.
"Oh, anong tinatawa-tawa mo dyan?" tanong niya saka niya hinalikan muli ang pisngi ko. "Ang sarap mong kagatin. Nakakagigil ka."
"Ikaw din. Ang sarap mong kagatin tapos sisipsipin ko 'yung dugo mo," sarkastikong hirit ko.
Ngumisi siya sa akin sabay halik na naman siya sa kabila kong pisngi. Kinilabutan tuloy ako. Luh!
"Tara, kagatan na tayo?"
Hinampas ko siya sa dibdib. Waaahh! Anong ginawa niyo sa Nathan na nakilala ko? Akala ko ba good guy siya pero ano ito?!
Sumeryoso ang mukha niya sa ginawa ko. Ewan ko ba kung nagpapaawa lang o ano, pero swear, effective dahil parang gusto ko na siyang yakapin.
"... Kaye Anne, isang buwan na. Ano ba? Kailan ba mauulit 'yun?"
Pero ang sarap niya ring sakalin tapos itapon sa lawa. Pervert! Huhuhu! Ayoko na poooooo. Feeling ko nahaharass ang buong pagkatao ko.
"Mag-isa ka. Hmp!"
"Ano'ng mag-isa? Mahirap. Sige na, kulet. Mabilis lang," bulong niya sa akin at kinilabutan ako. "Please?"
His voice was pleading kaya hindi ko alam kunganong pumasok sa utak ko para mapatango. Asawa ko naman siya diba and it's part of my responsibility. Oo, 'wag kayong green. Malalaman niyo rin yan kapag nakapag-asawa na kayo at sa mga may asawa na, diba ganun naman talaga? Pfft!
"Osya, sige. Mamaya."
"Tara, uwi na tayo?"
""Wag ka ngang excited." Sabi ko at sabay halik niya sa leeg ko kaya napag-igtad ako. Huhu! Jusme, ang harot-harot na po namin. Dati teen fiction lang kami ngayon naman nag-aala general fiction na. Napatalon ako nang kagatin niya ang tenga ko. "Ay, siopao! NATHAN! Baka makita tayo ng parents ko!"
Tumawa siya. "Oh, sige mamaya. Mag-asawa naman tayo. Wala kang dapat ikahiya sa kanila. Ginagawa din nila 'yan. Hahaha!"
"Kaye Anne?"
Napalingon ako sa tumawag sa akin. Isang matangkad, moreno at singkit na lalaki na nakablacksuit din. He must be one of the guests, I guess.
"Yes?"
Nathan instinctively draped an arm across my waist and then pulled me close to his body possessively. Pero mukhang hindi 'yun napansin ni Moreno guy dahil nakangiting nakatitig lang siya sa akin.
"Hi, Kaye. Naaalala mo pa ba ako?"
Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. Waley akong maalala kung sino siya. Sino nga ba siya? In fairness, artistahin si Kuya dahil sa dimples niya. Teka, napatigil ako sa dimples niya.
"Ako 'to. Si Hero. Classmate mo sa Management nung 2nd year College."
Napatutop ako sa bibig ko. Ohmayghad! "Hero?? 'Yung magaling sa Accounting na seatmate ko mula 2nd year up to 3rd year College?"
He grinned, "At ikaw si Kaye Anne na pinakacute at mabait na classmate ko na lagi akong pinapakopya sa oral speech. Kamusta na?"
"I'm fine! Ikaw? Kamusta ka na?"
"Excuse me."
Napa-'Ay!' ako nang bitawan ako ni Nathan sabay lakad paalis. Anong nangyari dun? Ipapakilala ko pa man din siya kay Hero.
"Nagselos yata. Boyfriend mo?"
Umiling ako. "Asawa ko."
"Oh, may asawa ka na rin pala," he said and I had the urge to follow Nathan.
"Buntis na rin ako." Ang pandak na 'yun! Iniwanan ako!
"Oh, congrats. Sige na, sundan mo na ang asawa mo. Pakisabi sa kanya I'll include your relationship in my prayers."
I bade goodbye at him and looked for Nathan. Nathan... Nathan... Nathan! Pagselosan daw ba ang isang seminarista? Hindi kita pagbibigyan mamayang gabi dyan. Kita mo lang!