Guardians of Alola: by TxpuFini
Genre: Adventure, Fanfiction, Fantasy, Romance
Chapters Reviewed: 5 Chapters (13 Chapters)
Update Schedule: Every Saturday
Quote: "Sometimes, trouble and pain bring wisdom and peace. Trouble may come your way, but you will know how to handle it." ~Mystic
Mystic is about ready to start her Pokémon Journey, but just as she's about to get her Pokémon, she soon discovers that the Alola region may be in grave danger. It's up to her to find the other three special Trainers and the Island Guardians to save the region from destruction.
I know this isn't really up to the writer's control, but it's always good to see readers giving positive feedback in a story. Some of these comments include...
"Wow. That got into it IMMEDIATELY. Pretty expertly, too. Continue this, its actually good!" TheShinyAzelf
"Nice buildup. Cant wait for the next one" TheShinyAzelf
"Its getting good now." TheShinyAzelf
Of course, seeing these, I was excited to see what this story was all about. Now, before I get deeper into the review, I need to make an important note of something. I've read this book before and after some edits were made. Unlike previous reviews, this one will reflect on how well those edits were made, some other points that needs improvement, and, as always, parts the book did well on. Keep in mind, some of this may seem harsh, so I want to take a step back and look towards what some of the comments are from the book. Hard work and dedication was put into this story, and that's something very good to note. It's not easy writing a story, taking criticism and then making necessary changes as seen needed is even harder. For that, I want everyone to be aware that this writer has made some of those that have greatly improved the book.
Yet while this book has made some improvements, there are some things that still needs to be improved on.
The one thing that this book has always done well on is pacing. It's very well done. I'm the kind of reader that likes to know what the plot is going to be about when I start reading a story, and this story does exactly that. From the first chapter, I know that Mystic is off to save Alola, even if that wasn't the reason she wanted to start a journey. She has her partners in crime that are introduced right away, and it's amazing how things just pan out the way that they do. Everything is plot driven, and that is what makes the book very interesting.
Another strong suit this book has are the character differences. Now, I'll admit, not all the characters stay the same. I notice Mudkip still switches from a cute little Pokémon who always wants to help to non-interested in helping Mystic when she needs it. There could've been a reason behind it that would've made this scene make sense, like maybe Mudkip was tired, or shy of large groups of people. All that needs to be portrayed though. Other than Mudkip's switching personality, every character seems to be consistent with their unique personalities. This could be from how flirtatious Shane is to how chill Gyarados is.
Despite how consistent the characters seem in the first five chapters, there are still a lot of inconsistencies that this book needs work on. These can be fixed in nearly anyway. Before I even could read the book, I already saw one inconsistency that stuck out, and that was the chapter titles. When naming chapter titles, you have to keep it consistent. Either you use all numbers or you write out the numbers. This story has chapters one through ten written in word form with chapter eleven being written like the number "11". While that would be correct in grammar, chapter titles are an exception to that rule, meaning it's either one or the other (and either way is correct).
Another inconsistency I noticed was how Shane didn't notice what Mudkip said in chapter four. In it, Mudkip says something and Shane doesn't seem to mind because "he is not able to understand Pokémon" in chapter four, yet he understands what Gyarados has to say in chapter five.
This story follows the storyline that Mystic might be Tapu Fini. Whether she is or not, I won't spoil; however, Mystic keeps saying that she is, but then, there are points where she doubts herself. It's not as much as it was before (in fact, this only comes up a handful of times), but these inconsistencies are still there. Either Mystic believes she's Tapu Fini, or she doesn't. If she believes it, then she needs to be consistent with it and never doubt herself. If she doesn't believe that she's Tapu Fini like the Water Pokémon say, then she can say that she is to the Water-Pokémon, but outside of dialogue, it needs to always give clues and make is sound like her belief of being Tapu Fini is truly crazy.
Something I didn't notice before was how the Tapus have disappeared, but the book never explains why, what the people believe the cause of that to be, or how Mystic knows there's a "dark force rising" (and what that means specifically to her rather than the vague information Mudkip gave her when they first met). It would be nice to have some sort of explanation for this. It just feels weird that the people just know certain details, but I'm not sure as the reader what details of the Tapus going missing are. I also don't know how that came to be or what happened in the past 3,000 years. Even if there'd be some big reveal later on how it happens, this would still be important detail that the reader should know a bit more about. There are even many different ways of bringing it up too, whether it be a prologue, the beginning of chapter one, or even when Tapu Fini's name is brought up for the first time...again, the possibilities are endless, but the main thing is not to leave the reader too far in the dark, otherwise, they won't be able to navigate their way around the story as easily as they could.
This leads into another part of the story I realize the writer struggles with: transitions. I'll admit, this is something that's very hard when writing. After all, the story that comes into our heads, we think everyone should be able to see too; however, unless it's written down, those images aren't shown. There are a few times in this story where Mystic will be doing one thing, and without really saying much will switch to a whole other location. The reader is going to become a bit lost when that happens. Rereading scenes outloud, and imagining what is said only on the screen is a way to correct this. By doing this, it becomes clearer what's missing.
Now, while the transitions needs a bit of work, I can say I'm quite impressed on how well the writer uses present tense verbs. It's not often I see a Pokéfic written in this form as it's really tricky. While it's really well used, there are a few nouns that are incorrectly used as they are still in past tense. Something to look into when editing (which, I seem to have harped on a lot, but this is my motto in writing: there's no such thing as too much editing). Those few mistakes aside, this story does a nice job on present tense verbs, which is hard!
Again, I know that all sounds pretty harsh as I got all that information out of reading a couple of chapter, but believe it or not, there were things I did enjoy about this book. For example, I love seeing the compassionate side of Mystic. She's very loving and she shows it from the beginning. It's not like she says, "yay, I'm a Pokémon Trainer, so I'm going to be nice to my Pokémon" and then never talks about her Pokémon. No. In this story, It's truly shown that she loves Pokémon. Early on in the book, she helps a Squirtle get out of a very sticky situation. She didn't have to, but she did. I absolutely loved that part as she was able to help out. Seeing that scene, along with a few others, really made me happy.
Another thing I enjoyed seeing was Mystic choosing her Starter Pokémon. It's a change from the first time, as the story shows Mystic running to the Pokémon Center later on and receiving a Pokémon for her Journey.
Overall, I've seen a bit of improvement from the last time I've read this book, which is always promising to see. I think with some more details, making a list of what characters know, can or can't do, and other things can really help with the inconsistencies and lack of detail that happens. This book has a fairly enjoyable storyline as there are parts I throughly enjoyed.
After reading and reviewing this book, I'm so happy to be able to interview TxpuFini about her book, Guardians of Alola.
JunieWeathers: One of my favorite part about any book are the characters, and this book seems to have some interesting characters. If you had to choose which one was your favorite, which one would it be and why?
TxpuFini: I would choose Cobalion. I really like how his character is stern and serious but also sweet to Mystic. He's one of my favorite Pokémon. :)
JW: That's neat to hear. What's the most enjoyable part about writing Guardians of Alola?
Txpu: Hmm, I would say writing each characteristic of the Pokémon is the most enjoyable part about writing Guardians of Alola. I love writing dialogues, too!
JW: Dialogue can be very fun to write. What are some challenges you face when writing this story?
Txpu: My challenge is simple: Detail and action. I'm not very good at writing details and action. I'm getting better at it though :)
JW: That can be very challenging, but I'm glad that you're trying to improve on it. There are a lot of Water-Types that pop up in the story. If you could choose one of those Water-Type Pokémon (who appear in your book) who would it be and why?
Txpu: I would choose Mudkip. Mudkip had been my favorite starter Pokémon for a very long time. It looks cute and it is powerful when it evolves into its final form. I think Mudkip will be very sweet and supportive in a journey and would definitely choose it if I was given the choice!
JW: I like Mudkip too. We've discussed before how there are some ships in your book. What kind of ships are there in this book, and which one is your favorite?
Txpu: There are a lot. Let me list a few:
-Mystic x Shane
-Mystic x Cobalion
-Calypso x Kaito
-Calypso x Virizion
-Mystic x Calypso (Some people ship them.)
-Mudkip x Popplio
-Gyarados x Milotic
And more!
My favorite ship is actually Mystic x Cobalion.
JW: Wow, that's a lot of ships. Is there anything you would like to let future and/or current readers to know about?
Txpu: I just want the readers to know that I am very thankful because of them and they saved my writing life. They're an important part of my life!
JW: Awe, that is very kind of you to say. I'm sure your readers are very thankful for the book you've published on here as well. Now, I know I harped a lot on improvement that this book needs to make, but the writer worked hard the first time she got feedback and continues to do so. If this is a book you think you'd be interested in reading, then go for it. There are a lot of strong points going for this book and heartwarming moments that's just amazing to see.