JENNIE'S POV
"I promised myself I'll wait for you," he says, his hand caressing my cheek.
I flinched, backing away a little.
He winced when I backed away, suddenly making me feel guilty.
I used to crave for his touch, his attention, like what he is giving me right now. But things changed, like what I feel for him.
I don't even know how it went from that to this. That him being this close makes me want to take a step back, which obviously offended him in some way.
Biting my lip, I tried to smile casually, "I-I told you before that you don't have to, right? That I'm not ready..." I reminded him.
"I know, but you also told me that you like me," he smiled again, "So I promised myself I'll hold on to your words. And I'll wait until you're ready, as long as you get to be mine alone," his hand found mine, bringing it to his lips as he stared at me lovingly.
Mine alone? I liked the words coming from Lisa better. Lisa, Lisa. Why do I keep thinking about her on times like this?
"Kai..."
How do I tell him to stop, because I don't want him to wait for nothing? That my words were no longer valid, because he's... he's not her.
And it wasn't his fault that all I can think about at this moment is Lisa. I don't want to be unfair with him when I know in myself that it's not him that's running on my mind all the time.
She invaded my mind in ways he never did, much, much worse than I thought he did.
"Yeah?" he said, his smile still planted on my skin.
I looked down, my hand slowly falling on my sides as I felt him tense up.
"Jennie, what's wrong?" he took a step closer, his hands now on my waist.
I fought the urge to step back again and hurt him any more.
"Kai..." I grasped for air before I got the courage to look back on his eyes again, "You don't have to wait for me."
A small frown appeared on his lips, "Don't worry about me Jennie. You can take your time. I'll wait for you."
I shook my head, "No, no, Kai-"
"I'm not making you feel rushed, or are you? 'Coz, I swear Jen if you do, I'll try my best to slow things down."
"No it's not that-"
"I'll do everything for you-"
"But I don't want that!" I cut him off desperately, feeling so sorry in my voice as I struggled to explain things to him. I tried not to get affected with the shocked and pained expression on his face as I stared directly at him, "I don't want you to, Kai, I don't deserve you. You deserve someone who can make you feel loved, who truly wants to be with you..."
"But..." his eyes went unsteady, looking all around me as he tried to study my face, looking unconvinced, until those eyes darkened, "Is.. is there someone else?"
"It doesn't matter," I swallowed hard and looked away.
"Of course it does!" he said with pleading eyes, "Who is he? Jen, Jen I swear I'll treat you better than he will," he caught my hands as his eyes teared up, "I've been here for you for so long, and I'm willing to stay for as long as I can. How can you be sure he'll do the same for you?!"
I can only hope.
God knows how I want her to stay around much longer than he did, but it wouldn't entirely depend on me.
"I'm not sure, okay?" my own eyes prickled with tears, feeling his words and his pained eyes stab me in the chest, "But I'm sorry that I want to risk for it, Kai. I want to. And I'm sorry we had to go this far," I sobbed.
"I fucking—" his bloodshot eyes looked so pleading as he shed some more tears, tears that I caused, "—want you, Jennie. I fucking waited for you and I still want to."
"Please," I pleaded.
He shook his head violently, his hands suddenly gripping both of my arms, "Listen to me Jen, I love you. And I know I still stand a chance so please don't make me stop."
"I'm sorry," another tear fell from my eyes.
"Fuck no, don't say sorry. It's not over yet," desperation was evident in his voice as he tried to catch my eyes, but I just kept shaking my head.
"It is-"
I felt my heart rate go fast when he suddenly gripped my waist with one arm, while his other hand pulled me in the nape, pressing his mouth on my lips.
I kept my lips together, resisting him but he didn't stop trying to enter my mouth.
"Stop!" I cried, pushing him off me when I got the chance.
Thankfully, it worked. He looks so weak right now, with all those tears flooding his face.
I cried harder while turning on my heels to run away from him as fast as I can. I didn't look back even when I heard him call my name.
---
"HE WHAT?!" Irene went furious as she towered me while I sit on the chair.
"You okay?" Jisoo worriedly asked.
I nodded slowly, much calmer than I was earlier.
"Yeah, and it was my fault too for leading him on."
Irene sighed, obviously trying to calm herself, "God I hate men."
I gave her a small smile, "Thank God Seulgi wasn't a man?"
She placed her hands on her hips, "We're talking about you here!" she said, as if she didn't just blush.
Jisoo chuckled then turned to me.
"Let's talk about you and Lisa then."
"Now that's interesting," a grin suddenly emerged on Irene's lips as she sat on the table beside me, we're currently on a vacant room. "What's the status?"
I tried to ignore the ugly feeling of not being assured to have something I want.
I shrugged, "Don't have one."
"Let me guess, you're waiting for her to make a move?" Irene asked.
I nodded reluctantly, embarrassed.
Jisoo nudged my shoulder, "Why don't you make a move first?"
I furrowed my brows, immediately think of how absurd the idea is. I've never done that.
Am I that desperate to ask her first?
"Hell yeah," Irene agreed, "You ended things with Kai already, now go get your girl."
I squeezed my eyes shut, sighing. "It's not that easy. I don't even know if she's.. as serious as I am," I said, my voice barely a whisper.
Jisoo heaved a deep breath, looking seriously at me like she's in deep thought. It always scares me when she looks this serious.
"Is she really the problem here? Or you're just scared of getting hurt?"
Her words stung. I turned to look at Irene to ask for help, but she was raising her hand while looking at Jisoo, "I think it's both, but more of the latter," she answers.
My shoulders fell knowing they've got me cornered and they were right. My own feelings were too overwhelming, eating me out alive when I haven't exactly figured them out yet.
---
"There she is," Jisoo pointed at Lisa the next day. We spotted her taking pictures everywhere, documenting everything as she was told.
"Go," Irene pushed me from the back, making me glare at her through my shoulder, "Oh come on don't be such a pussy!" she rolled her eyes.
I heaved a deep sigh, landing my eyes on Lisa once again, only to realize that her camera is now rotating and if she won't stop now, she'll see me immediately through it.
And she did.
I forced out an awkward smile, expecting her to approach me to moment she sees me. But she froze on her spot, clicking her camera once before she brought it down, letting me look in her eyes instead of her camera's lens.
During then I almost melted seeing her pair of brown orbs, paired with a breathtaking smile she walked towards me.
"Hey," she greeted, her smile faltering a little when she sensed that I was not in my proper state of mind. "I wanted to talk to you yesterday but..." she shrugged, "Yeah, so, think you'll be busy the whole week?"
I nodded, my eyes not leaving hers when I quickly added, "Most of the time the whole week. But I can... uh, make time, you know. How about you, you busy?"
The side of her lips immediately twitched upwards while her nose scrunched cutely as she grinned, "Nope but you can keep me busy if you want," she wiggles her brows.
I laughed because she was half funny, half charming me. I'm smiling too much that I feel like my facial muscles will ache if I prolong it.
"Well if you're available right now, I can keep you busy," I said, hoping she'd say yes, "I haven't had breakfast yet."
Her firm stance straightened as she shoved her hands in her pocket.
"Certainly available. What would you like for breakfast? Thai or food?" she asked, a mischievous smile still playing on her lips while she inches closer.
I playfully shoved her face away, faking disgust, "Probably something delicious so I'd go for food."
Her jaw dropped exaggeratedly.
"What?" I tried not to smile.
My chest hammered when she took a step closer, towering me with an evil grin on her lips.
Bringing her lips to my ears, she whispered, "Say that in my face when you've got a taste of this Thai already," then started walking ahead, leaving me breathless.
"Damn it," I cussed, squeezing my eyes closed.
She kept teasing me and my body is freaking reacting to it.
We ended up going to a newly opened coffee shop outside the school even though we could just stay inside. I think it's like a silent agreement in between us to just keep things low key, so we ended up in a less crowded place.
"Make that two," Lisa says after I ordered, instantly pulling out a bill from her wallet.
I quickly raised up my purse to pay her for my share but she quickly stopped me, pushing my hands down.
"My treat," she winks.
I frowned, "I was the one who invited you."
She leaned on the counter, eyeing me with an amused smile, "I don't let pretty girls pay, remember?"
I glared at her all the while feeling something inside me feel giddy.
"No wonder you spend most of your money with pretty girls, like my sister?" I said, sounding bitter although it was unintentional.
"And you think I'm a show off and a flirt for it," she chuckled to herself, facing the counter once again to get our tray and mumble a 'thanks' to the cashier.
I fought the urge to roll my eyes when the cashier blushed.
"Aren't you one?" I said while following her towards a vacant table.
She quickly settled our food and drinks down the table before turning to me with a flirty smile.
"You wouldn't even let me show off around you," she takes a step forward, giving me her breathtaking smile as she pulled me by the waist, "Let me flirt instead?"
Heat flowed through my cheeks. One thing I learned about Lisa is of how vocal she is when it comes to flirting. It's like she's mastered the art of flirting and knowing how irresistible she is, helped her gain more confidence.
I stared straight into her eyes, being too overwhelmed by how intense her stare is.
"Not if you won't let me pay," I smirked, loving the way she looks at me.
"Then you can treat me the next time."
I bit my lip to stop myself from smiling because of the thought of having a next time with her.
She tilted her head sidewards, side glancing at the seat without exactly looking away from me, "Let's eat before you start eating me out with your pretty eyes?" she grinned.
I scrunched my face, "You wish," I hastily sat down.
I heard her stifle a laugh before taking a sit in front of me, her lips pressed into a tight line as she smiles.
"Yeah," she shakes her head while grinning mindlessly, "I desperately wish for it."
"Ya!" I blushed even more.
She leaned back and crossed her arms with a challenging smirk, her eyes slowly scanning my frame downwards. I felt so conscious when she stopped on my lips, while biting her own lip.
"I must be crazy," she says with a small smile, "All these food and yet I'm still thirsty for you."
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A/N: Took me so long to update and I feel like this chapter was just a filler 😅 Anyways, thanks for waiting! Will try to update again soon.