Some days, you just feel bad and you can't always explain why...
Chapter Warnings: Depression, self-depreciation, swearing
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A pot of vegetables sat simmering on the stove; a pair of pork chops cooking in the oven as Lotus stood in front of the cutting board chopping up potatoes. He sighed as he tried to shake off the odd feeling that had been plaguing him all day. It was hard to pin down; a niggling voice in the back of his mind muttering incoherent words.
Words that left the small skeleton feeling more and more unsettled as the day wore on.
Lotus paused in his work, setting down the knife to rub at his temple. Did he do something wrong? Did he forget something? No matter how much he wracked his skull, nothing seemed to stick out and explain the growing anxiety within him.
For all intents and purposes, it had been a fairly normal day. He got up, had a shower, made breakfast, and conversed a bit with Rurik before leaving for work; having to push the taller skeleton off when he tried to initiate a cuddle session at the door as he occasionally did when he was feeling particularly handsy in the morning.
Selfish...
Work had been pretty routine... if death could ever be considered routine. He collected his quota and sent each soul off to the afterlife as per usual; no hiccups or difficulties to speak of. He'd turned in his report while ignoring the usual criticism he received from his boss for doing his job "too slow".
Mediocre...
His trip home... if anything, it was great. He didn't even have to duck into a bush or take a detour to avoid anyone that would cause trouble today.
Weak...
All he had left to do today was make and serve dinner, then he could spend time with Rurik before bed. With an exasperated huff, he picked up the knife and forced his thoughts back to the task at hand. His companion was due to arrive home any minute now, so he needed to have dinner done before-
"Lotus?"
The small skeleton jumped at the voice, the air catching in his throat as two arms snaked around his shoulders and neck. Recognition only came moments later as Lotus urged himself to loosen his iron grip on the knife clenched in his left hand.
Jumpy...
"... Rurik? When did you get home?" he carefully inquired.
"A minute ago," Rurik answered, laying his chin upon the smaller's skull, "I called your name when I walked through the door but you didn't answer. I found you in here, but you didn't respond when I called out again. Everything okay?"
"Yeah, I was just thinking," Lotus quickly waved the concern away; cursing himself for not even noticing the front door opening, much less Rurik's voice.
Careless...
"Must've been one hell of a thought," Rurik mused, looking down at the half-cut potatoes, "I'm guessing dinner's still in the works?"
"Yeah, I meant to have it done before you got home, but...," Lotus trailed off, unable to come up with a suitable explanation.
Slow...
"Whatever, a little wait won't kill me, " the taller easily brushed it off, heading for the living room before rocking back on his heel, "Oh, you need any help to speed things along?"
The hooded skeleton shook his skull, planting a smile on his face, "I got it, you go relax." Rurik shrugged and continued into the living room. The sound of the T.V. filled the silence moments later.
"Get a grip, nothing's wrong," Lotus growled to himself, turning his attention back to his unfinished task. Taking up the knife once more, he ignored the growing... whatever it was; chopping and depositing the potatoes into the waiting pot to cook.
Draining the water twenty minutes later, Lotus climbed onto the stool and pressed all his weight down on the masher; grunting from the effort. The action only had the effect of nearly toppling him off the stool and alerting Rurik from the living room. The taller came in to find his partner nursing a bruised elbow from catching himself on the counter.
Rurik plucked the masher from the small skeleton's hand with a sigh, "You're going to break your neck if you keep going like that, let me do this. You can get everything else out on the plates while I finish the potatoes."
Inept...
"Right...," Lotus conceded, moving away to pull out a pair of plates. Within minutes, there were two plates fully loaded with food. Once everything was cleaned up and stored away, the pair sat down with their meal.
Lotus picked at his food, trying to piece together the feelings that were nagging at him around the increasing pressure in his skull. Why did he feel so keyed up? There was no danger; nothing eventful... everything was normal. So why-
"Lotus!"
The small skeleton jumped as the fork slipped from his limp grasp with a loud clatter against the plate. Rurik sat across the table giving him a suspicious stare, "About time you responded, I've been trying to get your attention for at least a minute. What's going on with you? That's the second time I've caught you zoning out since I've been home."
Negligent...
"I... I think I need to go lay down," Lotus replied, dragging himself to his feet and grabbing his barely touched plate to put it in the fridge.
Rurik's sockets furrowed as he rose from the table as well, "You didn't eat a thing. You feeling sick or something?"
"Maybe...," Lotus pondered as he shut the fridge door. Was he coming down with something? Would that explain the feelings roiling in his chest and rattling in his skull?
He turned to find Rurik right behind him. Pressing their hand to his forehead and sliding it down his cheek, the taller skeleton muttered, "You don't feel hot... but you do look tired. Go get some rest."
Lotus mustered a faint smile. Sure, Rurik was rough around the edges, he could be perverted sometimes, he said the wrong thing on occasion... but at his core, he cared for his partner.
Unworthy...
"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Thanks," Lotus agreed as he headed upstairs by himself. Shutting the door and flopping onto the bed, the small skeleton curled into a ball and closed his sockets.
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Word Count: 1,042