'Love' is such an alien topic for Annika. For her love is universal, she loved everyone around her, Shivaay, Omru, Pinky ma, shakti uncle, shahil, Aditi, entire family of her NGO, also those who makes her feel special. How does love of one particular person differs from that of others. Love of these many people? How do you differentiate it in first place? Is there a string, which will tell you, this particular note of heartbeat is different from the others, does the pink shades of your excited cheeks tells you, this happiness is different from other one? Does it has a special feeling altogether or it is just same as other love?
People say, the one you love will be your lifeline! Yes, off course its true; the one who said her to marry him is her life line. Off course she loves Shivaay, and struggles to breath, when he is upset with her or when she disappoints him, her world turns upside down without him, so does this means he is the one? If yes, then whatever is happening is so perfect. Shivaay on his knees proposing her to spend life with him for eternity. No place would have justified with special feeling of this one, she stood awestruck at the happenings. Her eyes were already moist, heart thumping, may be it's because of her earlier distress, may be not, may be it's because she is happy. 'The scenic beauty, setting sun, his alluring smile, his eyes, a little red because of tears and that affection, is adding effects to this supernatural feeling. She is feeling special, loved, in different way. She found herself to be proposed for such an auspicious thing, marriage! A bond which joins two completely different souls into one, they Cherish nourish and nurture a new world altogether, vowing to be there for eachother in every aspect of life.
Annika always looked respectfully to this human made relationship. Now, her best friend who is a great man, perfect in every sense is asking her for her hand, can she be anymore happy than this? No, she doesn't. She won't. But....
Yes, there is a but here, because the responsibility of this relationship is huge, it's not only about spending life together, now it's about love, their friendship and respect they have for eachother. Shivaay is her world, no doubt about it, knowingly or unknowingly, they are here because of her, she can swear, she'll be happy with him, but will he be? Can this, eveything of this turn out to be a wrong decision at the end! What if they loose the best thing they have, their friendship? This scares her, she can bear eveything, not the harm on her friendship, nor the distance from him.
Annika's reverie of thoughts broke when she saw Shivaay standing, he looking tensed, Annika cursed herself for spoiling the mood, it was such a blissful moment. Dream of every girl, a proposal in her mind, which she wishes in her every prayer, this is what it was, nothing less to her expectations. On the Otherhand, Shivaay was trying to figure out her emotion, his eyes were trying to search for a small tinge of unhappiness, his deep blue eyes were continuously furrowed, trying to get answers. There were fine lines of tension started to form in his forehead, Annika can see the changing expression but her mind refused to come up with quick response, but her reflexes, were quick to save herself from making it more complicated. She place her palm over his stubble cheeks, in assurance that eveything is fine.
"It's okay, Shivaay, I am okay and not angry with you, or awkward. I know, I can read your eyes, you didn't made me awkward, just relax. Yes, I am a little bit confused right now. But don't stress, it's not a big problem. " Annika said without dragging whole situation into a complex one.
"Annika, I don't want your answer right now, it's okay, take time I'll wait, I was just nervous to hide it from you, so I blurted eveything out, I know the place and situation is not...." Annika placed her finger over his talking lips and she smiled. Finally, she did, it is a different smile, not out of courtesy or deliberately done, it's one of those, like she smiles when she remembers her parents, a happy and peaceful one.
His eyes didn't leave hers, still tensed.
"Shivaay I said you didn't made me awkward, and honestly, I am not even thinking about saying no to you." This was something Shivaay wasn't expecting. She said yes, in a different manner but she said yes to his proposal. Shivaay didn't felt the relief yet, because eveything looked so dreamy, is it real? or whatever is happening is too good to be true. Why eveything is so smoothly going? He is confused now, what's happening? Is not according to your expectations is bad, even if, result is good. He started to panic now, did he made a mistake? What if she thought out of courtesy he is asking her? Or worst she thought he is being feeling pity over her situation?
Shivaay always loved Annika for what she is, the confident, practically thoughtful and emotionally strong girl. She is courageous as well as courteous girl, her will power lies with her self respect, he loves her for that too. If that is her strength then it's her weakness too. She can't stand any kind of kindness, help without reason. She likes to do eveything all by herself, and she gets really touchy, when it comes to her self respect. Shivaay, particularly now, fearing that emotions to be touched. Annika may misunderstand him, but her smile told a different story, he is getting more confuse right now. Annika cleared she isn't effected, then why he is paranoid.
"Then what do you mean? Is it a no or .....? Annika, understand this thing, I don't... I can't remain in constant vulnerability of not Knowing, you know me I have to know eveything in advance, please let me know your answer okay, even if it's a negative, you have to tell me, i am sorry to demand like this but you have to.... please." Shivaay's stress was reaching it's peak. Only thing which is going smooth, they were making a conversation. Annika was speechless, what will she say now? Sh3 Don't have any answer.
"Um...I don't know, I really don't know, Shivaay, please listen to me carefully, and if you don't understand let me know that too, but don't get away from me, don't hate me okay. I can't loose you, never ever, I want you to be always by my side. Your proposal guarantees that you'll be always there for me. I am happy. I also know, I will be happy with you but...I don't want you to suffer, I don't want you take decision which can harm you later, if being with you is important then your happiness is more important too. May be more then anything, your happiness is my priority. If you're taking...." She was cut short by Shivaay's denial.
"No. No.its not about what I or you want, it's about us Annika. We can't stay live without thinking about eachother, we are bonded with our friendships, believe me it's for good .." but Annika was quick to respond.
"Shivaay....I will always be happy with you, either as a friend or life partner, I don't know about love, because I never been in one, I don't want you to regret things later, or worst forgoing your happiness, I just want you to be happy." A teardrop fell on her cheeks. Shivaay was quick to rub it off. He cupped her face and closing the distance between them. He asked.
"Annika look at me and answer, You believe that you'll be happy with me?" Annika could only say yes, to that because it's true.
"Do you believe me? Do you believe that whatever I decide is for our betterment?" Shivaay asked without removing his eyes from hers, she nodded in affirmative again.
"And do you believe, our friendship is unbreakable even after this alliance?" She says and Shivaay takes a deep breath.
"If time comes where this doesn't work, we'll make sure, forgoing eveything, we'll safe guard our friendship. We will remain best friend even the situation gets worst! Do you promise me that? He asked determined to make it work. Annika, paused and closed her eyes to decide. When she opened her eyes, he knew she has decided, ready to take up eveything. Even if he didn't expressed his love, Shivaay knew nothing can part them, he knew whatever happens, he will have her by his side to untangle things. And may be it's not a proper proposal, but this is how it is to be meant. Shivaay and Annika together for happiness of other, with hope that someday they'll feel, love which everyone talks about.
Shivaay hugged her close to his heart, Annika's tears suddenly vanished, peace, she felt in his arms, like she always felt. Those arms are her home , she is back to her abode.
And, sun returned to his kingdom, spreading love of soothing moon, which is a constant companion of dark, changing with passing time but always there together. Moon and darkness; Annika and Shivaay. May be now equations will change, but they will be together and forever.
********
Jhanvi knocks at Om's door, he was trying to get back to his old habit's, after spending an entire day, searching his old colours, he found one and stood there with a blank canvas a charcoal in his right hand, left rested on his hips, standing, staring at the white sheet. Though he wanted to paint, his thoughts overpowered him, thinking hard about morning incident, it was too chaotic for him, but currently he is tensed and worried for Rudy. If om is having difficulty is focusing things, he is living like this I'm daily basis. He is not denying others members mind sets too, Annika, Shivaay and even Pinky, they too had to unnecessarily see and bare Jhanvi, but they are mature, know how to handle themselves. He knew as long as Shivaay has Annika and she has him, they are unbreakable. But Rudra! He is alone, in a tender age, where his mind is like a blank canvas, he will draw what he sees,in the crucial stage of life, so many things going around his life right now, this family disturbance is not good for him. Shivaay handles him well, but even then Shivaay is a human too, he has his own problems, and if Jhanvi lets him live one, he will tend to get tired, at some point he will breakdown. How long will he be able to protect eveything! Alone? Om thought,these continuous worries were making him scared. Rudra needs a healthy environment. He can bet, Priyanka gives a damn about it, she is like her mom, practical and unattached; Rudy is emotional, he gets affected. Jhanvi is always there for Priyanka but what about Rudy? he still Misses Tej. Shivaay fulfilled dad's part well, but for now Rudy needs more happy environment. Om feared, Rudy may get distracted and turn out to be rebellious, his anger is already is a concern. Om starts to blame himself for not being there for any of his family, he is required to be a second pillar for Shivaay, but he just ran away to get peace, a life he wanted, abandoning everyone.
When Jhanvi knocked at his door, om was expecting either Rudy or Shivaay, " After so long I am holding this brush, it's kind of nostalgia....." He turned to see who it is ,and his happy reverie turns into an angry one, he sharply turned around to not meet her eyes.
"Om, I want to talk to you, about what happened in the morning.... you all are misunderstanding me.."
"Stop it's Mrs Oberoi, it's better for you to keep space between us, whatever you did today, you really disappointed me, I knew you're biased but never thought you'd be so cunning!"
"Om, don't forget you're talking to your mom, I knew this, this is all because of that bitch.."
"Mom, don't make me hate you, I am angry righg now , and few words can destroy our relationship, what's up with you? Why you're hell bend on blaming Annika? For God sake understand, not everything is related to her, actually nothing is.....and don't you dare talk filthy about her, I won't tolerate." Om warned her, she looked away in disagreement, her hatred towards Annika is so deep that she isn't ready to hear anything. Om got this and calming himself down, he said.
" You better just get away from me, and specially Rudy, I don't know if you can see or not, he is in very vulnerable stage, he needs peaceful life and you're not helping him either, your daily regular saas bahu drama is not doing great for him, better don't show up in front of him or me." Om got back to his work, when Rudy entered his room, Jhanvi wasn't ready to back out, she stayed unaltered. Rudy gave a hatred look ,reached out for Om in low mincing words he spoke.
"Why is she here? Came to apologize or again creating a drama.?" Rudra was now on Verge of crying. Om placed a brotherly hand over his shoulder and assured eveything is fine, he got back again to Jhanvi.
"What was the use of that drama mom? Shivaay was already proposing a solution, silently you've agreed to that, but no, you need to create a scene, you need to humiliate Annika for no reason, make things difficult for Shivaay! That's what you want." Om was now furiously scolding her, a minute later Rudra added, " This is all she wants, her main agenda is not our future , it's her future, she wants to rule the empire, also make her useless daughter rule it, she actually doesn't care about us, if she did she knew what Shivaay bhaiyya means to us, what is the value of AD in our life, my life." Rudy said little relaxed then previous.
"AD, AD..... Annika.. Annika...when will she leave my life, first family now my own son, you two love and respect someone outsider then your own mother, that's the reason I hate her, my husband died because of her now, my son's don't get tired praising her. Shivaay is already enchanted by her charm, what do you want me to do? Join my hands in front of her and beg for money which my husband has left for us, which is ours, our right. Do you think I, Jhanvi Gujaral will do it? No, never. We are the most richest family in the country and I refuse to spread my hands in front of an orphan." Jhanvi's words were pinching like needles to Omru. They heard her say so many things about Annika but today they saw the depth of her hatred, Om knew, there's no use of making her understand things because she won't. She is in another ride of self obsession.
"I got you mom, I got you, I think you're somewhere else, in your own created world, do whatever you want to, teach wherever rubbish you want to Priyanka, but stay away from us, specially Rudy, I want my brother to get a peaceful life, let him live, you live your own. From now on we won't come to you saying change your ways, and you don't come in ours." Omkara said this much and turned to face other side of the room, Jhanvi gave a mocking laugh, later laughing hysterically she clapped hard for few times, " Well done, well done Annika, I was so right about you, I knew you mean to do this, see now my son's are facing away from me, their mother, who gave them life, they hate me, just because of you." The mocking laugh was hitting Rudy very hard, he raised and reaching upto her, and warned, "Stop creating drama, and don't you dare talk anything about Annika didi, she is my mother , she gave me all the love which I expected from you, she was there for me when I expected you, she is not selfish like you, knows values of relationship, love and family, which you can never understand, so if you'll humiliate her any further I'll forget that we are blood related." The fire in Rudy's eyes were enough to take life out of Jhanvi, she gulped hard, Om was stunned to see that anger in Rudy's eyes. This is what he feared, his hit temper is crossing limits, forgetting even age difference, well Jhanvi is wrong but non the less she is their mother, afterall.
"Look, this is what I am talking about, she brainwashed you Right? I knew this, I am your mother god damn it!...." Om intervene before Rudy could make situation worst.
"Mom, we never forgot that your are our mother, we didn't even forgot who our father is, you know what is the problem here? You want us to see in dads shoes, you want us to take all the responsibilities of dad- in your life, in business and family, but mom, to take up a responsibility, a person has to be tutored first, nourished and loved then only he or she can stand strong. What do you think just after dad we are able to take all the reasonability? You saw Shivaay and Annika doing it, they didn't had choice, we had, we have family unlike Annika, we had you, Shivaay and choti ma and chote papa, we had time to get stable, but You expected us to become strong just like that. You wanted us to have eveything that Shivaay has, can we become like that? Can two individual become similar mom,Just think! If only you could have been supportive today eveything may had a different picture. You never thought about us."
"If you lost you husband then we lost our Father too, in spite of throwing us to his shoes, you should have loved us more, made us strong first, but what you did, you blamed everyone, and went into deep ocean of remorse, leaving us behind, they handled us, those who you're blaming became our support, now you can't expect us to give you back the position you abandoned it, yourself." Omkara words did sound apt to her, but her hatred didn't allow her to accept any kind of defeat not even from her sons.
Rudy's demanueor changed that outburst did good, he was guilty talking like that to his mother but he understood, what this situation is about, Om's words helped him understand, that few things in life are out of his control, but now he knew his priorities, his love for AD and his bhaiyya has increased. They are selfless people and strong to not leave him alone like his mother.
Jhanvi Walked loosing the battle, Om hugged Rudy, he wished he could do something for Rudy, and like that the day came to an end, leaving lots of questions answered and clearing clouds of doubt. Well, how relationship turns after this, will be known in future days to come.
*****
Broad road which is explored so many ways by so many people looked silent. No, it's not actually abandoned or secluded the situation felt like that, Shivaay was trying hard to say something to Annika, trying this or that way out to make a conversation, he never thought this would be so awkward when it will happen. He imagined some movie like situation, where after proposing they will coon a song, or go all PDA about their relationship. Now, in reality they are having trouble in starting a simple conversation, which is very unusual for them. Shivaay asked about her apatite, what she wants to have for dinner? About shahil and business stuff, which Annika replied but way too formally, usually she likes to banter about her entire day, though which is understandable, today most of the time they were together, but there was an awful silence between their conversation, Shivaay's fears are still engraved inside him. He would anytime let go this, if she tells him to stop, so he is trying to figure her out, her situation.
Annika, well she is trying to figure out how things will work now? will they have to straight away marry ? Or have to live separately untill they fix a date for marriage? What about the family, how will they react? How eveything gonna change? Will it change drastically or it will be a negligent change in her life, will it really work? She was trying eveything to stay positive, and silence was not making anything easier. Entire journey, went on thinking all these stuff , when Shivaay pulled over the car, she looked surprised, how quickly they reached, unaware it was exactly one hour from her old house to Oberoi mansion. Both sat unable to move or make any kind of action, do they have to do all ,romantic stuff like in serial or movies?like biding good night with smile or promising to call or message, what the hell they live in same house, or worst kiss him Good night? No. Off course not, but It was all confusing. Annika, finally took charge and opened her seat belt and Shivaay guessed this is it! But something held Annika back, to not walk away without talking, so she didn't opened the door, but waited and may be Shivaay gathered his courage to speak.
"Ah.. Annika! You don't have to....I mean, lets not....ah...um....i was thinking...may be ....Oh god, I never thought this will be so difficult to say..." He jerked his head in disappointment.
"About the proposal?" Annika asked releasing him from miseries of finding correct word, a little bit.
"Yeah, I know the equation has changed, a bit believe me and trust me, we're still best friends. I don't know how family gonna react ! I am expecting a good response though, well, even if its not, you know right I am with you? And you don't have to feel awkward! May be this is all an intense stuff but, think this as a solution to all the troubles, we're facing in life. I know, I shouldn't say this but think this is as our old pact, remember if we don't find anybody then we'll get married to eachother....kind of that.. may be that releases our stress." Shivaay said confident, this is the solution for the uneasiness prevailing.
Annika laughs in agreement and with a understanding smile, she opens her door, suddenly it felt weird, like she never knew Shivaay, no it's not because of what he said right now. Yes, he is correct, if they are in this, they have to find a mid way out, they can't always live in Awkwardness!
But whatever he said didn't sound right at all, is she thinking too much already? when he proposed, it felt magical, as if eveything is a dream. But when he said like a pact, a contract kind of thing! No, off course he didn't mean exactly like that, Shivaay is honest to all his relationship, she can swear on that but the sound of it was so misdirecting. May be, she is thinking too much already. It's just a half day to their union. Wow....union! this sounds perfect, union of two people.
Annika was in deep in thoughts, when she saw him following , he kept his hands over her shoulder, a little relaxed then he was inside that car, she felt warmth, yes it was different. This is not their physically first contact, but actually things are changing. Hos hands felt nice, now he will be called his fiancé, and later life partner. Is she excited? Definitely but may be apprehensive too, and more than anything nervous, she is in a serious relationship for the first time.
Now what? What next?
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Trying to write faster, looking at my past record this is quick. Right?
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Krishna