"You're so wishy-washy,
I can't figure you out
I study you all day but it's hard
I like you then I hate you
Hundreds of times a day,
You're like a rollercoaster
It's weird,
I'm nervous but I don't wanna lose you
It hurts but I like it, as if I'm used to it
I gave my all to you"
-Heartbreaker by NCT
♠️♥️♣️♦️♠️♥️♣️♦️♠️♥️♣️♦️♠️♥️♣️♦️
Madam Ten stood up from her seat and walked towards the curtains. Since the stage was on the same level as the rest of the room, she didn't have to walk up any steps. Grabbing a microphone off a podium that was just a little bit too tall for her, the Madam made her way towards the canter of the stage.
The way the stage was set up, we never actually opened the curtains during performances. Excluding times when acts started on stage, performers would often begin their acts off stage and then walk through the curtains making their entrances in a spectacularly dramatic fashion.
This way, performers could have plenty of room behind the curtain to do any last-minute practice or preparations for their performances throughout the show.
Right now, a few of our girls were setting up the chairs we often use for chair burlesque while I was just going through my routine. I was working on a particularly hard move when I heard the Madam's voice.
"Welcome one and all to our playground here at Paradise Theater! Tonight, I implore you all to have a fun time at what I'm sure for most of you is your first, but hopefully not your last performance by the Heartbreakers."
Applause filled the room and a few of the girls and I walked towards the side of the curtain.
We couldn't really look out without being spotted now that the audience was focused on the stage, so we just listened in.
I looked around at who else was backstage.
Yuri, Sunny, and Yoonoh were in the corner working on their chair routines.
Wendy was flirting with one of the stagehands as per usual.
Amber was adjusting her wig, which made me sigh. Normally Amber had an androgynous style, even when preforming, but with the request that tonight be all about traditional femininity, the Madam must have made her change up her usual appearance.
I looked back towards the curtain as Madam Ten continued her introduction.
"Now before your mind can be blown by the angels that will be preforming for you tonight, we need to go over a few rules."
I rolled my eyes. Madam Ten never skipped a chance to insert the names of past acts into her introduction speeches. Blow my mind, Angel, My first and last, All names of past acts.
"I bet all the money I make tonight that she does that thing where she tells the audience they'll be Dripping with love for the dancers."
I turn to see Wendy mocking the Madam's exaggerative hand motions as she quotes one of her cringier pieces of wordplay.
"You know I would, but I'd rather be able to pay my rent this month." I replied playfully.
Wendy was one of the OG performers and one of the only Americans in the group. She had been living in Seoul for a lot longer than I had so she was much better adjusted. We were close despite our slight age gap, due to our similar cultural backgrounds. She was the first friend I made within the Heartbreakers.
Jungwoo wasn't the best at English so he didn't approach me until he learned that I could speak Korean pretty well. Although I was closer to Jungwoo, I would often have more serious conversations with Wendy, mostly due to the fact that my Korean wasn't exactly at the level of discussing philosophical theories yet. Wendy was like my big sister.
"The first rule is that no one is allowed to touch the performers."
A large wave of boos could be heard from the audience.
"Now, now. A performer may come into the audience and ask for your help in removing an article of clothing, or sit on an audience member's lap, but that does not mean that you can cop a feel."
I turned back to Wendy.
"How is your act going?" I asked.
Wendy glanced at her partners as they continued wrapping their legs around their chairs.
"Yuri's being Yuri, so...." Wendy rolled her eyes and huffed slightly.
"That bad huh?" Before I could continue, a small crash disrupted my thoughts.
Wendy and I both looked over at the origin of the sound to see that Sunny had fell out of her chair. Yuri started scowling her.
"Yuri is just mad that the Madam made your act the finale and our group act the intro."
"Oh." I gave Wendy a sheepish look.
"Don't worry about it. You know me, I'm just happy to perform. Yuri seems to be the only one who's pissed." Yuri gave me a smile before continuing.
"It's about time someone replaced her as lead dancer. We're all super proud of you."
I looked down at my feet.
It was true, Yuri was the lead dancer for over two years before Madam Ten announced that it was time for a younger dancer to take the role. Yuri was pissed, always claiming that I wasn't half as good as her and that I wasn't prepared to take on the role along with all its responsibilities.
She was right. I showed up late t every practice, and that's when I even showed up, but I wasn't about to let her know that.
"The second rule is no recording the performances. A lot of our dancers enjoy their privacy and keeping their private lives private. Besides, instead of pressing replay over and over again, wouldn't it be better to some back and see your favorite performers in person?" Madam Ten's voice could be heard clearly backstage.
I spotted Yuri approaching Wendy and I.
"You know the only reason that you're the grande finale is because we only have hardened criminals to perform for tonight, right?" She spit out the words harshly as she adjusted her strapless bra.
"Umm... Excuse me?" I responded.
Yuri proceeded talking out her ass.
"The Madam chose to put your act last because it's the most blatantly sexual. Everyone else's acts tell stories. You know, like real burlesque? Your act is basically just you running around with your tits out. Makes sense that this kind of audience would enjoy that kind of slut show."
I scoffed.
"You know we're a burlesque team right? Running around with our tits out is kind of the point. You're not seriously trying to slut shame me for doing what you've been doing for the last ten years, are you?"
Yuri rolled her eyes as she returned to join her dance partners.
"Fuck yeah dude." Wendy said as she lifted her hand up for a high five.
I raised mine to meet hers.
"The third rule is common sense. Things like no chewing gum, no fighting, no harassing the waitstaff or performers."
That was Wendy's que to get in place for her act to start.
"And now that that's been established, I just know that you'll be dripping with love for our first performers!"
Wendy pointed her finger at her mouth and made a gagging gesture before walking through the curtain's opening along with Sunny, Yoonoh and Yuri, all dragging their chairs along.
I was about to turn around when I saw that Yuri make an obvious effort to give me one last stink eye before she walked on stage.
I wanted to just brush Yuri's actions off as jealousy, but I couldn't help but think that there might be some truth to her words.
I had seen the girls practice their chair routine and it was astonishingly good to say the least. They were able to pull off moves that I hadn't even thought were possible... and yet, I was the lead dancer.
I mean of course I had lots of talent as a dancer as well and I was far from being even close to our teams weakest performer, but I had to admit that I was also lacking in ways that Yuri and Wendy... just weren't.
Wendy had never made me feel bad for holding a higher status than her within the Heartbreakers, but I'm sure she can't be as okay with it as she leads on.
Wendy has been with the Heartbreakers for four years, yet she was never lead. And then here I come with almost no experience and within one year, I replaced Yuri.
Was Yuri right? Was it just because of my looks? My sex appeal?
That can't be true because Wendy is twenty times prettier than me. Maybe my style is just more sexual, and less artistic than Wendy's style. Although the Madam loves artistic burlesque, she is a businesswoman, and sex sells.
I can't even remember the last time I showed up to practice on time. I don't deserve this.
🖤💚🖤💚
After the chair burlesque group was Amber's fire dancing, then Lisa performed one of her older routines, a dance to the song Swalla. Next was Hyolin, the second lead dancer. I didn't know what she was doing for her act, but knowing her, the audience was gonna go crazy for it.
I was on next. I walked over the mirror wall that we use to practice with backstage and gave my self one last look to make sure my costume was on right and that the strings of my dress were tied loose enough that I could easily escape from it yet tight enough that they wouldn't come undone before my cue.
My act for tonight is a little different than anything I have ever done before. Typically, my acts required only one costume change and it would lead straight to decorative pasties and a lacey thong, but tonight was my first time doing the finale. The theme for tonight's performance was opulence AKA excessive wealth. It seemed like a fitting theme for the night considering our audience members.
My act was the gold act. Everything in my costume was a golden color, minus the emerald gem resting on my chest.
Tonight, I had to pull off two drastic costume changes. The outer costume was a long striking gold dress that went down to the floor with slits on both slides that went up to just above where my hip bones protruded. It had shiny gold detailing in a lace pattern that blossomed up my torso. It showed the entirety of my upper chest since the sleeves rested off my shoulders. Tiny rhinestones that resembled cubic zirconium was scattered throughout the skirt of the dress, which only added to its brilliance. To be honest, I was quite glad that I was only going to be in the dress for a total of thirty seconds of my performance before I planned to slip it off. It was a major tripping hazard.
For accessories, I wore golden beaded gloves with white detailing that reached past my elbows and a golden headband that resembled woven leaves often depicted as being worn by Greek goddesses in story books.
Taking off the dress would reveal my second costume which was sadly wasn't an improvement comfort wise.
Although I was used to wearing corsets while performing, this one was a little more constricting than what I was used to. It was itchy as well due to all the gold beads that were sewn into it. Not to mention that this corset was over the bust whereas I was used to under bust corsets.
The last costume reveal was my favorite. A simple pair of gold rhinestone pasties, a pair of gold satin panties that were one square inch of fabric away from being a thong, and a chair bralette that wrapped around my breasts and waist.
I knew that I would be able to move around more freely once I stripped down to this part of my costume, so I decided to put my costume changes close to the beginning of my routine instead of making the final transition at the end.
I was dancing to the song Unravel Me by Sabrina Claudio. I often performed to American artist's songs and this song always felt extremely sensual to me. The lyrics and song title also seemed to go well with the theme of multiple costume reveals.
I wanted so badly to pull back the curtain and look upon the audience one last time before I had to walk up on stage. Not because I was intrigued by them, but because it was my first time having such a huge role in the show. I was nervous, yet excited, and I wanted to remember every detail of the night. But alas, drawing back the curtain was not an option. Surely it would cause the Madam great displeasure if I were to disrupt her show.
So, I just kept staring at my reflection, debating if I really was worthy of the costume I was wearing, of the routine I was about to showcase to the world, of the emerald necklace that weighed heavy around my chest.
Was I?
I was so lost in thought that I hadn't even noticed that the music from Hyolin's act had finished, until she told me good luck on her way back to the changing rooms.
Madam Ten's voice entered the room and I knew that it was my turn to go on.
I walked up to the curtain. For some reason I walked so close to it that my nose was touching it. The cheap red velvet curtain slightly scratched it, and I was reminded of the black velvet jacket. I wondered how it would feel compared to the red curtain.
It had to be softer, right?
Why I was thinking about the jacket worn by one of the most ruthless killers in Seoul, I had no idea, but the thought gave me comfort and calmed my nerves.
With one last deep breath, and the cue of the music, I stepped through the curtain and into what I didn't know would be the beginning of a nightmare.
A beautiful nightmare.
❤💙❤💙❤💙❤💙❤⚘❤💙❤💙❤⚘
A/N: So, what a lot of you don't know is that this is based off of an actual burlesque group in Itaewon. I did two shows with them and I actually performed to this song Unravel Me. So just a little fact about me.
I'm going to try to write more often and update more and make longer chapters, but no promises.
Please vote and comment. It means a lot to me.