Calum
A pounding on Jes' front door wakes me up the next morning. I roll off the bed and grab Paisley out of her playpen where she's quietly playing with her hands.
I cradle her in one arm and walk to the front door. I open it to find Lena dressed in sweatpants with her hair up in a messy bun.
"Where's your girlfriend?"
"Upstairs, asleep. Why? What's wrong?"
"She was supposed to meet me at the gym this morning." She says in an annoyed tone.
"She was?" I ask confused.
"Yeah. Y'all's feud is starting to effect others, mainly me, I need you to get your shit together."
"I'm trying." I groan "I think we're making progress. She let me comfort her yesterday and we slept in the same bed last night, so that's a start."
"She just wants to know you're committed to her."
"Fucking hell, Lena. I don't know how much more committed I could get. I did some stupid shit when I was drunk but you know how much I love her." I admit.
"Did you buy the ring?" She asks as our eyes meet.
"Jesus, be a little louder why don't you." I whisper. "Yes, I got it and I have it, but I came back to this shitstorm. I'm not going to ask her now, not while we're like this."
"Maybe that's exactly when you should ask her." She states firmly. "Show her you're one-hundred percent down for her, that you were just drunk and you fucked up."
"I don't want our engagement to feel like a desperate attempt to save our relationship. When I ask her I want it to be spontaneous and perfect. When I ask her I want to be completely sure she'll say yes."
"Then you two need need to figure your shit out. I'll get a head start on that for you, you can thank me later." She says bounding past me and up the stairs to wake Jes.
I bid her good luck with that and take Paisley to the guest room where I find her diaper bag. I search through its contents until I find all of her diaper changing necessities. I place her gently onto the mattress and set to work getting her cleaned up.
"What do you think Pais?" I ask her ask I finish adjusting her fresh new diaper. "You think mummy will say yes to daddy?"
She babbles back to me in baby talk like she's really answering. I hope she's saying she believes in me, believes in her mum and I and our ability to work things out, believes in our love for each other. I know I do. This is just a phase we're in, brought on by my stupidity.
I'm not ready to take the ring from my pocket, where I've kept it for weeks now, just yet. But maybe there were other ways I could show my commitment. I rack my brain for possibilities but struggle to come up with anything. P tilts her head and studies me.
"Have you got an idea? I'm all ears PK."
She smiles and kicks her feet as I grab her up and put her against my shoulder.
"Yeah, yeah, keep all the good ideas to yourself and leave dear old dad to fend for himself. What am I gonna do with you? You're supposed to help me out little one."
•
Jes
"Jessie, get the fuck out of bed!" Lena screams entering my bedroom.
"Fuck, Len you're gonna wake the baby up."
"Jes the baby is up and Calum is taking care of her, so there are zero reasons you should have missed our workout this morning."
"Crap. I'm sorry Lena. Between yesterday being what it is and all this shit with Calum I've been on auto-pilot and I just completely forgot."
"I'm over this shit with you and Calum."
"Oh are you now?" I say my voice failing to hide my exasperation. "I'm so sorry my boyfriend cheating on me has affected you so negatively."
"Cut the shit Jes. He didn't cheat on you. He had a few too many and flirted with an old friend. You're being dramatic and doing the most. I love you so much but he is the love of your life and the father of your baby. You two have been moping around the last few days and I'm sick of seeing you both upset." She moves close to my face. "Talk. To. Each. Other." She says emphasizing each word. "You're adults, it's damn near time you both act like it."
She disappears then. Exiting my room and house, leaving me alone with my thoughts, as well as my boyfriend and daughter the other room.
I contemplate her words as I lay against my soft comforter. Is she right? I mean I have been known to be dramatic. I've been known to hold a grudge and take things too far? Is this me doing that? Am I doing the thing?
I've been waiting for Calum to fix everything but I don't even know what he could do to help me get back to where we started, before all of this, when we had more.
I'm not solving anything hiding upstairs, so I throw my hair into a messy bun and amble into the living room. Calum is laid out on the couch staring mindlessly at the television as Paisley has tummy time on his chest.
"There's my people." I say with a small smile.
Calum tilts his head back so he can see me and I see his eyebrows raise.
"Hi." I say sighing as he sits up to make room for me beside him and laying Paisley against her chest.
"Hey..." He says obviously confused by my dramatic change of attitudes and surprised that I'm starting a conversation with him so normally.
"I think we should talk about some things."
"That's probably a good start." He says reaching up with his left arm to scratch behind his neck.
I hate that he's nervous but I know what needs to be said. I know what we need to do to move forward.
"I think I overreacted to the pictures. You had too much to drink and were overly flirty with one of your friends. I'm not saying that was a good look but I definitely have drug it out farther than it should have been."
"Stop. Jes, I fucked up. You're allowed to be angry with me."
"I'm tired of being angry. It hurt my feelings and embarrassed me but I hate how it's affected our relationship. You're all I want Calum. Despite this, I'd like to think you feel the same way as me."
"I do, Jes. You have no idea, the past few days have had me gutted trying to figure out what I could do to help you forgive me. I've been so lost with us in this weird space. It's like I can't be me, when we aren't us."
"I know exactly what you mean. I keep trying to fight it because every relationship I had before this was so toxic. I think that had a lot to do with my reaction to all of this. At this point I just have to admit it to myself, you're it for me Calum. I'm so completely in love with you. I'm sorry for overreacting and carrying this on for days."
"I don't know why you're apologizing Jes. I'm the one in the wrong. It's okay to be upset, to deal with your emotions however you need to. If the situation were reversed I know I would have been a mess. That's the worse of it, I know I hurt you and it makes me feel like shit. I promise this will never happen again Jes. I swear it."
And I believe him.
•
"I wanna do something." Cal says later that afternoon.
"Like what?"
"I want to take you on a date, a real one. We've only done it a few times and they were all before PK was born. I think we're overdue, and I think it'd be good for us. Don't you?"
"So are you asking me on a date? Or asking me if you should ask me on a date?"
"Both." He says with a grin. My favorite one, that brings out his dimples and makes him look extra squishy.
"I'd love to go on a date with you, Cal." I say reaching out to cup his cheek with my hand.
I press my lips softly to his just as Paisley spits up on his chest. Her timing is impeccable.
An: soooo theoretically, if Calum were to propose how should he do it? Also theoretically, should Jes say yes or no and give your reasoning ☺️
Everyone still with me? I'm thinking 50 chapters for this book and then the sequel so we're almost at the end 😢 writing this book has been an absolute labor of love and I love reading all of your comments and messages! Thank you to everyone who is reading it means so much to me
Ily
Sav 🖤
Ps: my Zumba class did a routine to Youngblood tonight and I embarrassed myself I was so excited. I'm 24, I'm supposed to be an adult, why am I like this!?!?!?!