Naked is mortifying. Not that I'm shy around Ethan, especially after all these moments of pleasure we have shared, but that I have to look outside every five seconds, afraid a boat might pass and see me naked. Ethan seems to be enjoying my reaction. He smirks throughout the breakfast. As I stand up to clean, he swats me on the butt before walking out of the kitchen. I stare after him, mouth wide open. Thankfully, the apron in the kitchen cabinet has escaped Ethan's mind. I hurriedly put it on and continue on cleaning as Ethan works on his laptop.
I can't believe I'm about to say this, but when my phone rings I jump high in the air. As if the person behind the line can see my naked butt. I dry my hands on the towel and grab my phone. Smiling as I see the caller, I answer the phone.
"Hey," I nest the phone between my cheek and shoulder as I wrap the belt and cover my naked front as if Angelic would see this through the phone.
"Hey. Well, you sound different than I expected."
"What did you expect?" I walk to the huge window and look at Ethan sitting outside on the patio frowning down at his laptop.
"I don't know. Maybe, a bit, you know, depressed... can't wait to get out of that island."
"Oh, wow, Angelic, you have so much faith in me that I don't know what to do." I deadpan.
"So... what's up?" She asks, ignoring my sarcasm.
"Nothing." I bite my lips, not sure if telling her what has been going on through phone is the right thing. "Well," I start, feeling kind of excited. "We might have... made something." Gosh, for an actress, I do sound awkward. Shutting my eyes, I gather courage, "we are officially together. Like husband and wife. Or boyfriend and girlfriend. Or... shag bodies." I cringe.
"Shag bodies?" Angelic mimics me. "Honey, you work in the film industry, it's called f*ck bodies," she corrects me. "Wait... holysh*t... really?" She suddenly shrieks. "O.M.G. So, like you guys, got drunk and did it a few times, or like you talked about it before doing it... give me more details."
"Yeah, it's kinda complicated." I see Ethan flexing his arm as he leans back in his chair, supposedly to stretch, but all this innocent act does is to make me feel like a teenager. A heat overcomes me. My feet feel wobbly. Damn, he has such nice and thick arms.
"So, what happens now?" she asks.
"Honestly, I don't know." I whirl around and pick a strawberry. "He seems less, you know, aggressive toward me. Like he cares for me. He said he has broken up with Lorena. That she is not the one. But then, I don't know if I should feel happy or paranoid. If he can let go of someone so easily, then how much longer do I have?"
"Wow... I mean, if you wanna stay positive; he is married to you and he has finally noticed you... so. But I guess, on the other hand, Ethan is such a prick, I mean, look at the past six months; he has had at least 5 girlfriends, according to the media, and what, been seen with 10 different women?"
"Geez, Angelic, thanks. That really warms my heart." I shake my head.
"The real question is, does he make you happy? Is he treating you well?"
"Yeah, surprisingly. He... Um, he seems different. Like being far from the media and everything has changed him, you know. I wish we could stay here forever," I nib on my bottom lips, thinking that in a week we will be back to reality and everything will be back to normal.
"Well, enjoy your time. Get me something, please?"
"Sure," I laugh.
Grabbing my book, I walk outside, still wearing the apron. Ethan has his left elbow on the table and his hand messaging his forehead. When I walk past him, he notices me and turns to look at me. I look over my shoulder, a small smile on my lips. Two can play this game.
Without saying anything, he returns to his laptop and closes it before standing and walking behind me. Once I make it to our setup table and umbrella, I put my book on the table and start taking the umbrella off and on the floor.
"Where did you find that?" Ethan asks as he stands behind me just as I'm about to set up the umbrella on the floor so it's shielding me away from the ocean, in case someone is passing by.
He puts his hands on my butt and squeezes. I press my lips to prevent a reaction. Once the umbrella is secured in the sand, lying on one side, I smack away his hands and start taking off my apron.
I continue ignoring him, letting him know I am mad at him, even though I'm truly enjoying this. Once naked, I lie down on my back on the chaise.
"Good thinking with the umbrella. Now I can do whatever I want without worrying someone might see us," Ethan laughs. I snap my eyes open, realizing my mistake.
He strips off his shorts in one single move and gets naked before climbing on top of me. I draw my knees up, kicking him in the butt accidentally. Licking his lips, he grabs my wrist and draws them up to the top of my head. Closing down on me, he lingers over my lips. I breathe rapidly, both jolted by his sudden move and excited for what's to come.
Brushing his lips on mine slowly, he kisses me. I can't help the giggle bubbling up in me. Freeing one wrist, I grab his jaw and draw his head closer. His unshaved jaw tickled my hand and makes me excited.
"You want me?" he asks. "Just as I want you?"
"Yes," I breath, not able to find words on how much I want him right now.
He is in me and exploring me in one swift move. I gasp with shock as I arch my back. He puts one hand beneath my back and lifts me up. Straddling him, I entangle my hands around his neck and ride him up and down until I reach my climax. He follows me without a few seconds.
"Definitely a good thinking," Ethan says out of breath as he turns around and drops on the lounge chaise with me on top of him. Whether he's referring to his decision to bare me or my decision to put an umbrella to cover us, that I don't know, but I hope he's referring to both.
Ethan decides to give my clothes back after lunch. We decide to have lunch on the porch. Using Ethan's laptop, I play some music as we enjoy our lunch. Every once in a while, we would make eye contact, and Ethan is all smiles and grins. It feels weird having him act like this. As if I'm having a dream. Too tired to go back swimming, or do anything else, for that matter, we settle on the swing on the porch. The swing lulls to the breeze. Ethan has his arm around me. I caress his chest, feeling the ripple under his shirt. He doesn't seem to be noticed, but I take a sniff of his shirt every once in a while and smile. He smells sexy. No wonder everyone swoons at the sights of him and goes extra crazy when they get near him.
During these past days that we started this arrangement, and him saying that he will still want me even after the vacation, we never once talked about what happens once the year agreement is over. I guess, even wanting me and noticing me is limited. By the time it ends, he will probably move on. Shaking away the uneasy thoughts, I try to smile and think of the present.
The next day, we undertake another journey into the forest. This time, we have lunch by the small waterfall, on a small stripe picnic blanket. We rarely talk, rather enjoy our time and bask in the beauty in each other's arms.
When we get back, Ethan gets busy with his routine calls and emails. It seems the more we are getting closer to the end of our vacation, the busier he gets. When I walk into our bedroom to take a shower after I had a run around the beach, I notice he's on a conference video call with some important people, all wearing suits. I try to hide and crawl on my hands so I wouldn't be caught in the video. Ethan noticed me crawling and smiles at me before turning his attention to the video and turning the laptop to the other side so I can walk without being seen.
By the time I finish showering and grooming because it matters the most now if you know what I mean, Ethan's call is finished and he is sitting on the bed waiting for me patiently. Once he sees me, he jumps onto his feet and approaches me in less than three steps. Claiming my lips, he wraps his arms around my torso and bents me down as he leans on me. Deepening the kiss, he hungrily bites on my lips before smoothing them with a gentle caress.
Finally, out of breath, he lets go, groaning.
"I've made some arrangements for us tomorrow. We'll be leaving early in the morning for the town. There's a local attraction tour which will take us to explore the jungle. And I made reservations for us to dine in a fine restaurant down by the decks before we come back to the island. I hope that's alright with you?"
"Wow, that is... what's amazing. Thank you. But, um, aren't you worried we will be recognized?" I ask nervously.
"Don't worry about it. The locals here could care less about celebrities and film industry."
I nod my head. Ethan finally lets go and I walk out of his arms to the doors. When I get to the door, I turn around, the door held in my hand,
"You know, you don't have to charm me with fine dining and wine. I'm not like one of your girlfriends, craving the need of extravagance," I mutter, looking at him.
"I know. I never thought that you are. Nevertheless, a lady deserves fine dining and wine," he smiles.
That night, we exhaust ourselves to sleep after multiple orgasms and pleasurable tortures. Ethan falls asleep first since he's also the first to wake up in the morning. I look over at him, finding a hint of a smile. He looks relaxed. I remember the night we first made love. I remember looking at him and thinking if being drunk is making him feel happy.
Waking up at five in the morning when you are on a vacation is irrelevant. In fact, I don't cease sulking until we arrive at the shores. Ethan helps me out of the boat before handing me my coffee. From there, we sit in a cab that is going to take us to where the tour bus is. The second we get in the cab, I doze off on Ethan's shoulder, which goes without any objection from him.
The bus takes us somewhere around seven after all the passengers take their seats. We do some sightseeing of the jungle and ancient stones first before heading off to rafting in one of the angriest drivers. During the whole time, I, not only enjoy the lack of attention from people, since no one seems to recognize us, but also the extensive attention I get from Ethan. When the raft stops for a break somewhere in the middle of the route, Ethan and I take the opportunity to sneak out and browse around.
Ethan grabs my hand and drags me into the forest as he looks behind him to make sure no one curious is following us. A distance away, he stops and pushes me against a tree and kisses me passionately. Since our clothes are wet, I can feel and see the lines of his body, most particularly how a certain member seems to be poking out.
I laugh at his wail attempt of pulling out clothes off. When he seems to be reaching out for nothing, he settles for only baring our intimate part. Lifting me up with his hands under my butt, he enters me. I have to muffle my noise as we are not very far away from the crowd.
Of course, by the time we make it back, we receive odd stares from people. Well, if that isn't obvious. Ethan seems to be enjoying the attention, knowing how he was pounding me against the trunk of a tree, muffling my screams with his mouth as he took me. Putting his arm around me, he draws me closely protectively as we pass the group and get ready to get going. By the time we finish the rafting, we change into the dry clothes Ethan has packed for us and get on the bus to return.
Finally, we arrive at our dock by six. I tiredly stretch my muscles as I get out of the cab. I look around the dock, watching as the locals gather their stuff and close their shops. I see an elderly woman selling flowers on the sidewalk. I start walking toward just as Ethan pays the cab. The woman looks up at me with a smile. I nod at her as a greeting. She has an array of flowers from soft red roses to wildflowers and even a few orchids. I touch the delicate flowers with the tip of my fingers.
A bitter memory of the last time I received flowers come to mind. It was the after I wrapped a movie and Chris send me a beautiful bouquet of red roses as a congratulation. It was merely a month before my father's company went down and I was informed that I need to marry Ethan to save it. Chris was all romantic and smiles every time he was with me. I never had to doubt his feelings for me because he was so affectionate. How little did I know that it was all an act? The actress got played. The irony.
And now, I can't trust my guts anymore. I can't trust my eyes. I see Ethan and how he is affectionate to me and I doubt every second of it.
"How much to the orchid?" I point to the single stem of the orchid.
She points at me with her fingers, bobbing her head in question. It takes me a few seconds to realize she is asking if I want the flower for myself. I nod back at her in confirmation. She shakes her head as a no. I frown.
She looks over my shoulder and points to something or someone behind me. Looking over my shoulder, I see Ethan approaching. I turn back to the lady and she has the orchid in her hand offering it to Ethan and pointing her head at him before turning the orchid to me and offering it to me. I grab the stem and look at her puzzle.
Ethan says something in their native language and the lady replies with a smile.
"She says that a man has to buy you flowers. Let him spoil you," Ethan translates before producing a large bill and handing it to the woman before thanking her. She starts gathering his change when Ethan denies and pushes back her hand so she puts the money in her pocket before thanking us.
"Thank you. It's nice of you." I let my vague sentence fill in the blank. That I'm both grateful for the flower and how he denied the change.
"Of course. They look beautiful. It's a pity no one buys more from her." He lowers his head and smells the flowers. "Come on, our final destination is across the street. I have made a reservation for us."
We walk the short distance to a local diner that seems a bit elegant for its location. We are seated shortly before a large window facing the ocean.
"What is the most famous dish?" Ethan asks once he takes a look at the menu.
"We have the famous Empanada with beef. Our best-selling Ceviche made with fresh-caught fish. For starter, we have our signature Parihuela soup. And of course, Suspiro de limeña is my personal favorite," The waiter explains for us. I flip through the pages, mostly looking at the pictures. They all look delicious, especially after today's long tourism.
"Great, we take two of each. And do you have Caymus Cabernet or something close to it? We'll take a bottle." Ethan then looks at me, "anything for you, baby?" he asks.
I nearly gasp. Did he just call me baby? In public? And he said it in a way that seems it has come to him naturally. No camera or publicity is making him do so. My heart beats faster. A delicious bump warms my chest.
He raises an eyebrow and that's when I realize he has asked me a question. "No, thank you," I answer swiftly before gazing out of the window out of embarrassment. And also, for the lack of ability to hide how his small gesture has pulled me closer to him.
I'm in love. Despite how much I tried to hate him for how he has treated me. Despite how much I tried to protect my heart. Despite how much I'm afraid he's going to leave me one day for someone else. Despite knowing that this thing that we have has an expiration date.
"Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming. What are your plans?" He asks as he takes a spoonful of soup.
"I don't know. My premiere doesn't come until February. So, I was thinking of just staying. I haven't had any movies coming up which is making me worried."
"I'm sorry; that's probably partially my fault." He puts his spoon down but doesn't look up at me.
"Because of the whole canceling the revisions. Yeah, well, I blame you, too. I haven't received any calls since I got fired from the cast."
"Look, I wasn't trying to defame you. I just... You can say I was trying to punish you. I reopened the revisions and approved of them. Even tried to explain to the director that it wasn't because of you but because of the acute changes, but-"
"Wait, punish me?" I ask, frowning.
He sighs loudly, "Since the night we slept together, that first night, I was angry. At you, at myself... I was mad at myself for drinking too much and allowing it to happen, and mad at you for... well, for being you, always in front me. Always taunting me no matter how much I distant myself away from you. I was mad because I promised I wouldn't touch you. Because I knew once I did, I wouldn't be able to stop. And I wanted to punish you for being you. And then the kiss... Well, let's just say from that moment on, I wanted to hurt you for making me weak against my desires for you."
I put my spoon down and lean back in my chair.
"So, you f*cked up my career?" I cross my arms shaking my head.
"Well, I was also jealous that you were going to be naked and having sex scenes."
I throw my hands in the air, frustrated. "So, what? You get naked and have sex on screen with many actresses. Do you see me throwing a tantrum?"
"Technically, I haven't had any movie shooting since I took over the company."
"And whatever Lorena?" I scoff. As if sex scenes on the screen can be compared to his relationship with Lorena.
He opens his mouth to say something but decides against it. Seriously? I can't believe this. First, I thought the only reason he has done this was to save his reputation as a 'dutiful husband' but now I see how his feelings have overridden that. The director was right when he said we were bringing our problems from home to work.
"Well, since you ruined my reputation, you're gonna fix it first thing you get to the office. Talk to people, or have others do it for you, but I won't have my career go up in a flame because your manly desires took over you. Geez, take a Xanax next time," I start saying this serious but end up making it a joke, one which both of us laugh.
We agreed to spend the holiday with our families before the new year starts and all the awards take us away. We finish our meal with a sweet dessert and a bottle of wine. Long gone is our quarrel. I would have harder on him if I didn't understand what exactly he was talking about. I know the feeling. I have been dealing with it for so long that I consider it my friend. The feeling that overwhelms your senses until you don't understand what you are doing. The feeling that fills your chest with a sweet tingle as if your heart is beating out of your chest. Though we have different ways of dealing with it, I break-down from within, while Ethan finds a way to push everyone away.
Our evening ends with a dip in the Jacuzzi on the terrace; though it's mostly dark. Tomorrow will be the last day of our 'honeymoon'. I go deeper in the water until I have my head resting on his spread arm. To admit that I'm scared he's going to change his mind when we get back to Los Angeles would be brave of me.
At night, when he's soundlessly sleeping, I wake up to look at his face. He looks rough and protective even in his sleep. I caress his cheek with my hand slowly. I should consider myself rather privileged to have his attention at last. I chuckle quietly before putting my head down on the pillow.
"I love you," I say to his sleeping face before going to sleep.