I was in pain, literally in great pain , I have got sprain on my left hand, I was shouting like a mad man, our officer in charge ordered to avoid anesthesia or any kind of pain relief, because I had to report on duty in next four hours, pain killers will make me drowsy, left with no options, I had to obliged. Though I was told to take a day leave, but I wasn't ready to miss my next days expedition, so I had to bear the pain. You know how it was like? It felt like, my bones are being chopped, each of my bone into small pieces, all at once. I was crying, yelling at everyone around, my mate was by my side, he was supporting me and I was shamelessly shouting at him with all hilarious slangs possible. Finally, when I was taken inside the medical camp, I started to faint, environment got blurry,sound started to get distant, as if sleep was engulfing me inside the deep corners of oceans; pain, which was unbearable earlier now felt like a constant friend, those few seconds of falling inside the pool of oceans, and reality, I saw a pair of beautiful eyes. Dark, black, round like two moons are staring at me, they were almost magically captivating, I just saw the glimpse of those khohl eyes, and I was enchanted, suddenly I couldn't feel my pain, sleeping was not in my control but those eyes gave me a hidden strength, it's inexpressible, may be it wasn't her eyes, may be medicine was working on me, but o felt my pain was gone for eternity.
Next morning, after 4 hours of consciousness, I got my senses back, I was sleeping profoundly. when I opened my eyes , camp was lonely, nobody was there, not even the nurse.I knew I was in magical world, realised that girl removed all the pain from me. Suddenly realised she wasn't there, I searched for her, then I realised, she isn't our regular medical staff. Later came to know she was called for emergency because our doctor was in emergency leave, then this idea struck me! Did I really imagined those eyes or it was actually someone real?
When I was good enough to go on expedition, I tried to get information about that girl, may be someone must have seen her, but to my surprise It was only me who saw her. Yes they didn't denied that there was some girl that day to attended me, except that nobody knew who she was. Someone new from civilian doctor, who inspected me, diagnosed a second degree sprain, she went back. And they didn't saw any of her, after that.
There are rarest chances of meeting any civilians when we are at training camp, but I tried my best to search for her, tried talking with few civilian, but I couldn't find her. Everything felt like fantasy. Those eyes not only gave strength,but I could see, they held so much inside. No, it wasn't sorrow, it was pain, pain - when your loved one is hurt, you can't figure out what to do,that kind of pain. I know, this sounds creepy, I was fainting and not in a position to judge people at that time, but I am sure I saw that inside her eyes. And those eyes, still fresh, it is filled inside my concise, I can't remove her from my mind, yesterday when I was alone thinking my hands automatically drawn those beautiful orbs. I can exactly remember them, still fresh as new."
Two people, looking at him in a comical manner, when om finished narrating his story ,he saw Annika and Rudra listening to him in awe, their mouths open, eyes wide with surprise and he couldn't control himself from laughing. When both got their conscious back, they gave an angry glare almost in verge of rejecting his story, but when Om told them again how he got a dream last night about finding her, they felt they are not cheated, at least.
"See, this is what I want to feel. When Rudy and you had such interesting stories to live, I feel my love story should be like this, actually I feel stories should be like this, When someone intrigued your interest, constantly on your mind, then, suddenly finding them. The excitement of meeting them, started to know them. Like a journey. This is how I have known love stories. If I think about Shivaay and my relationship as lovers, I can't relate to them, I never felt that constant desperation to meet him, butterfly inside my stomach. Nothing. I won't say I don't love him,or he doesn't love me, but this is not a love story. I never felt that for him, ever." Annika said out of her reverie.
Om smiled, she is such an innocent person,a child like, idea of things. She believe everything which is straight and clear, but love is never simple, love is something unexplainable. Everytime, love takes a different shape enter in people life. To confuse people or may be to guard itself from the cruelty of the world. Om just looked at her and smiled. Rudy also knew his AD needs time and may be a push, if only Shivaay gives that push, she can understand it better.
"Okay AD, we can understand your problem, but one thing which, I know about you two is - you're meant to be together. No matter what, don't leave my Bhaiyya. Yes, Us too, but more than Om and me, he needs you. And about love, Love is like a obedient child, very understanding ,I have heard from people, it finds it's own way, so don't think much and be happy." Rudy said and took her into a side hug, while Om later joined them for a group hug.
Evening lights were spread over Oberoi mansion, Shivaay reached home, lights were already on, and staff was busy preparing food for the night. He met Priyanka on his way to room, but she didn't bothered to ask him anything or even greet him,she didn't care a bit about him or Annika. He just walked away, she was all decked up for her another light out in clubs.
Reaching Annika's room, he knocked at the door, she was talking to Pinky, smiling and telling her something animatedly, Pinky looked like an intrigued child, listening with lots of interest. Shivaay just gave a nod and went to his room
Refreshed,changed into his night clothes, he saw his image in mirror, he has so many things going on inside his mind. First, Annika's condition and the future ahead of them. Also, Jhanvi's constant selfish agenda, about property and shares. She is constantly warning him, to take legal routes, Shivaay wants to avoid all media coverage over useless drama. Today she called him, for that again, when Om is here she wants him to decide soon. Shivaay is in dilemma, to tell Om or not. If he tells him, there will be a family drama over this, badi ma's blames will shift to Annika, currently she isn't strong enough to take all that, Om will never agree to Jhanvi's decision, Rudra is getting affected already, he may do unthinkable. Family will fall apart, when he himself is not strong enough to handle it, then everything will mess up.
He was thinking so hard , that didn't even realised, his brothers were watching him intently, when Rudy tapped his shoulder he was surprised and got scared. Getting a huge laugh riot from Rudy.
"Oh, God bhaiyya, you've become all chuimui type! After yesterday's incident. Don't worry AD is completely fine." Rudy teased him, and got a glare in return. Om was silently watching both of them.
"Huh... where did she came from! And don't call me that!" He said sitting on his bed, joining Om.
"Don't know how you people even catch those words, first Annika, now Rudy, that boy Sahil, he learns everything from his school and teaches Annika everything.now you're following her footsteps." Shivaay whinned, though he is very fond of Sahil, he hates these nicknames Annika and sahil gives him. Sahil is like brother to Annika, it amazes him, how protective Sahil acts for her. In such short period of time they have come very close to eachother. Well, Annika is a special person, everyone loves her, anyone can get fond of her, caring and innocent. Compassionate, she treats everyone with love and respect, there isn't anyone who would hate her for genuine reason.
"Shivaay.. we're here too, share the reason of your secret smile!" Om teased. Shivaay was baffled, but he kept mum.
"How is your work Om? I hope you're not regretting it! I know the decision was so difficult for you, but I hope you're happy doing it. Last time we didn't got enough time to share our thoughts. Well, if you're not sure, we're still waiting for you, you know right, you can anytime come back to us." Shivaay said, he really cares for his brother, though he respect his decision but as an elder brother he wants best for his younger one.
"I am fine Shivaay, you don't have to worry for me, I am mature enough to decide what is good for me and not, and stop worrying about me, you have already this idiot to look after and also our messed up princess."
Rudy felt neglected again," See, I knew this will happen again, always I have to sit at the back seat, it's always about Om, why don't you care for me, like you do for him?" He said complaining.
Shivaay gave a friendly slap on his cheeks,
" Because Om is here, after two years, We have to know whether he is happy or not." His comment didn't helped. Rudy was still sulking.
"Okay, tell me what problem do you have? Rudra?" Shivaay asked crossing his hands over his chest, he was sure there's nothing which will bother his youngest brother. For few minutes, Shivom saw an animated face, which was trying to think and talk, but there wasn't any sound coming from his mouth. He was unable recollect anything, he didn't had anything to say, finally tired of his miserable state, he closed his mouth and looked away.
Entire world knew, Shivaay never lets them face anything, sorrow, hurdles never came their way. After Tej's death, Oberoi business suffered a lot, Shakti Oberoi had to handle it alone. While, other fatherly responsibility was to be taken care of too and Shivaay took it upon himself, he wanted to give his brothers everything they deserve, even the lost fatherly love, from then on it was his untold responsibility to look after his two sons, and their needs. Attending parents teachers meeting, giving pocket money and advising on life lessons, everything he managed by his own. And Omru also respected him, they always saw fatherly figure im him, they don't have any complaints or regret of being living without father, and are even sure, even their own father would not have matched upto his level of dedication and love.
Shivaay chuckled, " I knew it, that's why everyone is asking Om! Now be a good brother and lets have our dinner first, come on Om, I have to give medicine to Annika also." Shivaay was unconsciously talking to himself, he raised from his seat and was searching all the cabinet for Annika's medicine, then he felt the silence in the room, both his younger brother were watching him and their faces adorned with a knowing smile.
"Bhaiyya I told you, AD is fine. Again..." Rudy cut short the topic.
"Actually Rudy is right, why it's always about Annika? I am here after two years and you are not tired of thinking about her!" Om also suggested while hi- fiving with Rudy.
Shivaay nodded in disapproval and went ahead with his sheepish grin and a slight relaxed face knowing Annika is fine.
********
A cup of espresso for Shivaay, a strong masala tea for Om and protein shake for Rudra, this is their late night beverage, three brothers were sat by the pool, talking about their life and complications around it. Silence, which prevailed in the pool area was slightly disturbed by sudden motion, inside pool water, few crickets disturbing the quietness of the place. They didn't talked particularly about their life, it's just about, emptiness they felt on few situation because they were not together. Reminding old Golden days.
"Omru, I wanted to talk to you guys about something, I guess you two should know, actually...."
"As if we don't know" Rudra muttered, on Om's ears, while omkara replied with a sheepish grin, " At least, he decided to talk."
"Shivaay, I think you're on right track, you should talk to Annika about your feelings." Omkara said before letting him complete his sentence, Shivaay wasn't expecting anything regarding Annika, he wanted to tell about badi ma and her adversely irritating proposal , But couldn't finished it.
"Bhaiyya, if you love AD you should talk to her, otherwise she may go far away from you.", Rudra gave his opinion
"What you guys are talking about? I didn't mean that, I was saying...." He was cut short in between by Om.
"Enough Shivaay! How much you'll lie! To us, to Annika and yourself! Don't do it, you know, after you decided to keep your heart shut, you destroyed happiness from yours and Annika's life. Shivaay, so much confusion going on her mind, your mind and even us." Omkara waited for his reply but, that didn't help he was silent, he was thinking and didn't utter a single word.
"Bhaiyya, O' is right. I don't think keeping quite is helping you, AD is in pain, so you are, when silence gives pain it's better to talk, we know you love AD, we even know why you don't want her to know it, but trust me bhaiyya, even if I am not an expert on this but love is never a problem, it solves all the problems." Rudy was serious, and strangely he made sense.
"Shivaay, we talked with Annika, you also know, she won't voice it out, because she feels obliged towards us, she believes she can't do what her heart says, not because she fears us but out of courtesy and she is not aware of her feelings too, she won't know. She never felt that way, so you have to initiate things. You have always been her guiding light, this love and friendship differentiation- you have to tell her! make her believe that love can protect your friendship, there's nothing called- where there is love, friendship can't exists! Its a myth, and only you can prove her that. She need to know Shivaay, she need to know your feelings, your love for her." Omkara said.
Shivaay rubbed his palm over his face, in complete exhaustion, he knew this has to come up, and he was fighting over this from a decade now, if he opts to tell her about his feelings, she can't be her friend, not because she'll hate him, my be she can. But what fears him, is the situation after revelation, Annika's decision will be the top priority but after that he knew for sure she won't be free as she is now with him, she won't share everything with him, she'll hide herself inside and that he don't want to happen. Annika has lived all alone her life, without anyone to be called her own, she finds solace in his company, may be a little more than friendship. She had only him as her own and if he betrayed her with his feelings, he won't be able to forgive himself. That's why Shivaay has kept his silence.
"Will you speak up? Shivaay, silence is not a solution now, didn't you see how she punished herself because she couldn't take it, that she wasn't happy for you. I can see this is pure jealousy, on her part but she can't understand it, for her love has only one face, friendship or family. Which unfortunately is us, for her." When Omkara finished his sentence, a dark shadow appears on Shivaay face, as if all his energy was sucked by some devil, he remembers how miserable she looked at hospital, he was dying with every passing second, glimpse of past came in flashes, she was struggling with her breath and he felt that suffocation again, which is engulfing him now, slowly choking him. A long sigh, he stood up with impatient silhouette, he walked over the edge of pool, to and fro and tried to compose himself, he knew this topic is slowly eating him up. He loves her, passionately, her happiness means everything, he wants to give all the love he has inside for her. She deserves to be loved. Anyone he loved in his entire life is her, living so close, and not able express is eating him up. He can't tell her how much she meant to him, more than friend more than life. But he can't tell her, with the same reason why he wants to, her happiness is important for him, more than anything, and even though he is dying inside he knew, his love will have the probability to destroy everything they had created, may be now the risk is more because she confines in him, her only family according to her. She will be alone after this one truth, Shivaay fears that, he can't make her alone because of his selfishness. No, he can't, but the pain is getting unbearable now, it's like dying with slow poison. He was moving fanatically and spoke with some difficulty.
"I know. D... do you think...I didn't thought about this? I have Om, believe me Rudy, I thought about her, the most. Even if I want to tell her my heart out I can't, she'll make herself away from me, and I fear may be from family too. She says, it's because of me, she feels close to everyone. I can't make her alone. Just for my love sake, she can't be left to the same place again, where she was 10yrs ago. No I can't. I want to see her happy, and that will be possible only when she lives with family, I can't do this...I have thought about it, many times and there's no solution for it, it has go on like this." Shivaay said still walking around, he is paranoid and can't decide what can be done, what's the best possible way out?
"But Shivaay bhaiya that's the catch here,s he is not happy, what do you think, why she ate those spices? She said she wasn't thinking anything, but everyone can see it's love, she is jealous of Tia, and can't stand to point, because she doesn't know it." Rudy was strangely talking sense today, may be his love for AD and his big brother made him enlightened enough to speak these out.
With a heavy sigh, Shivaay sat by them, he can't understand whole situation, for the first time he doesn't know what he should do?
"I know this too, you know what she said, she can't be a bad friend, she wants me to decide about us, whatever I'll decide, she'll abide them. I know she don't know her heart, and I fear what if I do mistake in understanding it, what if after some time I realise, she doesn't love me, our friendship and love both will be hecked. Without her love I can survive, I can at least try but my friend is dear to me more than anything." Shivaay said with a complete conviction, he can't loose his only friend.
"We understand your feelings and your apprehension, Shivaay there's always a hope that binds future with present, if in present you find it difficult to see through things, future is there to tell us that, we can hope for best, and wish, that things will get along. But if time goes out, you can't return back, lets assume she starts loving someone else after you tell her about your feelings, won't you let her go? Be honest, won't you wish for her happiness as friend?" Shivaay nods in affirmative.
"Then at least try to tell her what she means to you, that way you'll have a chance to be with her, and if in future that situation arrives, when you have to let her go, then be a good friend and fulfill a duty of a true Friend. Shivaay doing right things is not important, doing things at right moment makes a difference." Omkara calmly explained Shivaay, and somewhere it reached his inner self and made him a little confident to express.
Night was in its full Glory, silence was eating everything up, a calm weather though humidly disturbing was peaceful enough to give sound sleep to existence. Shivaay was still on pool side thinking whole situation, there's so many things going on inside his head, but his heart was constantly repeating only one thing, what if he loses her, what if she starts to hate him? Will he be able to survive? Does he has ability to gain that position again?
Shivaay closes his eyes, with a deep breath he walks over the corridor and ends up to her room, he knew it won't be lock, he walks upto her and sighs at her sleeping figure, how he wish to see her like this forever, peacefully sleeping , and happy with her family. He bends down and gives a peck on her forehead, there's some movement in her figure, she senses him and slowly open her eyes, to see him surprised at her sudden waken state.
"Shivaay! What happened?" She asked completely unaware of his situation.
"Ah.. nothing, just came to see you, are you alright?" He said, not meeting her eyes, he wanted to tell her everything but he can't.
Annika forwarded her hands which Shivaay took with smile and sits on her side, holding eachother's hands.
"I know you're stressed, please don't lie to me, I know you better than anyone and..." A small smile appear on his face, how he wished she knew his heart.
"And...?" He asked.
"And....if you're thinking about me, then know one thing, I will be okay, if you're by my side, I just need you, to be holding my hand like this and I have everything in this world, if you're here my world is here." She said yawning.
" Okay....okay, now let me sleep, I am not owl like you, I have to complete my full sleep. Good night." Saying that she dozed again holding his hands.
"Good night" Shivaay whispered and again pecked her forehead with utmost care and untangling hands he walked out of the room. Tomorrow will be a big day, something was going to happen. Something big...
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Hey there, this is my new update, I hope you liked it, and again sorry for being late. I trying very hard to update as Early as possible.
And thank you for keeping interest going on.
Love
Krishna