Chapter Forty-Two
I watch Eli sleep for a long time before I dare to get up. When I slowly worm my way out of his arms, he begins to stir. By the time I'm on my feet, he's back asleep. The first thing I do is take a shower. If there was a tub in this tiny little bathroom, I'd take a bath. The absence of one makes me wish we were back in Eli's old sector with Blue. But that's her base now, to do whatever with she pleases. That was the deal we made when we took this sector, which I understand. That's where she grew up. That's home. But I still wish we had living quarters a little larger. This commander did not live in style or comfortably.
I think being being a prized soldier and the a royal princess may have spoiled me a bit. But I'd still take the comfort of our tiny little two bedroom cabin any day of the week. If it hadn't burnt to the ground.
I scrub every inch of my body, trying to wash whatever grime these Shadows have left on me. Today I free myself of what numbs me the most. At least, that's what Eli believes is going to happen. Even if he's right and the power is driving me a little crazy, I don't know if just giving it away will reverse the damage it's done. I know Nicholi was forever changed.
He was less... awful. But maybe he was only awful because the first time we met in person, I was planning to kill him. I suppose that isn't the best way to start a good father-daughter relationship. Maybe if I had been less judgmental of him. Everything I knew and believed about my father came from my mother, and she did not have the best experience with him—at least towards the end she didn't. Maybe if I hadn't of listened to her, had reached out to him when I was younger, maybe he would have been more welcoming and less give-me-all-your-magic-or-I'll-kill-your-sister.
I have to remember that he still forced me to kill Eli, even if Eli didn't stay dead. He still used my little sister against me, even if he ended up letting her go. And he still took away my magic, even if he offered to let me keep some of it and stay with him.
After I give away half this magic, maybe I can still remember the bad parts of him, the ones that will let me stay angry at him.
But I don't know how I'm going to stay mad at Mateo. Just the sound of his name in my thoughts brings a wave of emotions I can't even process right now. So I shut them out as soon as they come, and turn off the steamy hot water.
I step out of the shower and wrap myself in towels. When I step back out into the room, Eli is gone, so I begin to get dressed. A black long sleeved shirt a size too large and a pair of long cargo pants. Ive never been one for dresses, but sometimes I wish I had something a little more exciting than these bland, boring soldier clothes to wear.
Eli returns with two cups of hot coffee, and the world begins to feel brighter already.
"Morning," he smiles at me, handing me the coffee. "Huxley and Ella are waiting for you downstairs."
"Ella?" I don't want her to be there. She doesn't need to see this.
"Come on," he holds out my hand to take. I hesitate, but after a moment I let my fingers slide into his.
At the bottom of the stairs, Eli hold open the door for me. When I step through, Ella and Huxley sit on a wooden bench shoved against the wall of the small but open lobby. She jumps to her feet as soon as she see's me, and very matter of fact walks over to meet me half-way.
"I need you to know that I didn't want to be a Caster. I didn't want any magic if all and you took that choice away from me."
The words feel like nails slamming into my bones. One for each hand, one for each foot, one for each shoulder and so on.
"I wasn't going to forgive you for that... But then Evelyn explained how the magic you have is making things unclear for you right now. So," she takes a deep breath and then exhales. "I'm forgiving you, but only because you are doing the right thing by giving it away."
I can't help but smile at my little sister, but as the corners of my lips push upward, hers form a frown. "What?"
I suppress a laugh. "How long did you practice that speech?"
She rolls her eyes and laughs. "Too long." She pulls me into a short, sweet hug and then pushes me towards Huxley. "Now go stop being crazy."
I look at Huxley, meeting his gaze. His hands are shoved into his pockets and he chews on the inside of his cheek. "Thank you for doing this," I say, but only because it looks like he doesn't want to do it. Which doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me, since I'm giving him power. But I guess he's just not the type of person who wants more than what he's born with. Total opposite of Nicholi. Is it opposite of me, too? Do I want this power? Did I?
"Don't mention it," he says, letting out a whistle. "Let's get this over with."
"Are you ready?" Eli says, stepping up.
I nod, and I hand them a piece of paper with the spell written down on it. They both inspect it, and I open my mouth to begin when the front door swings open.
A young woman, maybe seventeen or eighteen years old, bursts through the doors. Beecham follows, running after her.
"I apologize, I told her she needed to wait—"
"It is urgent that I speak with the who can make new Casters."
Ella and I exchange a glance. I'm the one who could create Casters... I don't know if I can anymore. But I begin to step up anyways.
"I am," Ella blurts before I get a chance to answer. She steps in front of me, and I couldn't be more angry and more proud at the same time. She's accepted her role, her power, despite never wanting it, and she's ready to do what she can to make the world a better place. I think she's more like me than she realizes.
The young girl steps up, handing Ella a letter. "I have a message from the Chancellor."
Alarms go off in my head. And I see them going off for Eli too because we exchange a quick glance, and we both jump for the letter. But it's too late, Ella has already touched it. It begins to crumble into thousands of tiny pieces shredded on the floor—which means it was controlled by magic.
As soon as the girl realizes that Ella is I phased by whatever just happened, she pulls out a gun and shoots. But Eli pushes her arm up, Ella ducks, and I grab the gun from the assassins hands.
I toss it to Huxley, who takes it and guards Ella with his own body. Would he really take a bullet for her? No time to ask, Eli moves around the woman, pulling a knife to her throat, and I press my hands on either side of her head—ready to melt her brain for what she just tried to do.
"Wait, Emery," Eli says. "Don't."
I grind my teeth, knowing exactly why he doesn't want me to kill her—and not just because he thinks I get some sort of pleasure out of it now.
"What was that letter?" Eli begins questioning her.
The woman presses her lips tighter, like she's not going to say a thing. So I let a spark zap her from my fingertips, and she howls in pain. "Okay! It was cursed. Whoever read it would die."
"Who sent you?"
"The Chancellor."
"If the Chancellor has sent you, he would have made sure you knew what your target looked like."
"What?"
"That is not the leader of the revolution. It's her sister."
The woman shakes her head. "I... The commander of my sector told all of us that whoever kills who's making new Casters will be rewarded greatly. I didn't know—"
"Eli..." I tick, ready to paint the floor with her brains.
"Emery, we have an empty prison and an assassin with valuable information."
A growl rips through my teeth as I push the woman's head back with my hands, forcing myself not to kill her. She falls back, and I turn around, putting as much distance between this girl and me.
"What happened?" She says, and I roll my eyes as I turn around.
Her eyes search desperately for something, to find nothing to hold onto. But they don't.
"What happened to my eyes?" The woman panics.
Eli looks at me, and I shrug.
"Hello?" The woman begins to sob. "I can't hear my voice. Hello? Is anyone there?" Tears stream down her face. "I'm dead. I have to be dead. This isn't real—"
"Desierto," I say, waving a hand towards her. She falls back into Eli's arms, fast asleep.
"Emery," Ella says, stepping up from behind Huxley. "How do you have Mateo's powers?"