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ZHAN POV
I woke up in the new bedroom Mari gave me; it was beautiful. It made my attempt at interior décor at my apartment look like child's play. It had a queen-sized bed, with beautiful oak furniture and the rest of the décor and curtains were red and white...striking and sophisticated; something I was not. Like his bedroom it had a huge bathroom and 2 wooden doors to a closet just as big as his; if not bigger, filled with clothes I could never afford in my life. I sighed
Try as I may to avoid it but my conversation with Yibo last night came back to me,
I don't make a habit of deflowering others either; they always have expectations I snorted. Of course he didn't. He was used to worldly from others who weren't needy and weak like me. Him making love to me was just a mistake, heat of the moment thing, I thought bitterly.
I'm not the one for anybody That I couldn't argue with. There was nobody on this planet that can claim to deserve him, no one could reach his level of perfection.
I should've just laughed it off with him and pretended not to be fazed, but instead I showed how truly hurt I was by being cold and sarcastic.
Stupid, stupid, stupid! I cursed myself, banging my head onto the pillows How could I be so stupid? Honest to God, what did I expect? I knew exactly what I was doing; and it didn't matter. Of course I didn't feel like he owed me something just because I was a virgin.
Although I always thought I was saving myself for my future lover. But in that point in time none of that mattered, the world just stopped for me. Worst part of it is that I couldn't even blame him, what for?
It's not his fault that he doesn't care; it's not his fault that I'm weak.
He could walk in this very instant and I would make love to him all over again. Even though I knew it didn't mean to him what it meant to me, I wouldn't have the willpower to stop him yet again because I still wanted him that much. How pitiful, and now I would be counted amongst his many conquests. A label I've tried to avoid my whole life.
The saddest part was that despite all of this I still couldn't find it in my heart to regret it. It was that special; to me at leased.
A tear escaped the corner of my eye; I quickly wiped it away in disgust for myself.
I got out of bed wondering how I was going to live in the same roof with him and pretend as if nothing happened, STOP BEING WEAK!! I shouted inwardly. Prove yourself strong, that you're not someone he can just screw around with I told myself. And strong I would be.
With that a cold war began, Yibo and me never sat together or did anything if the rest of the gang weren't there. Even as everyone did something together we were always indifferent to each other, sometimes avoiding each other altogether. We never said anything more to each other than "hello" and "Goodbye". It depressed me. Sometimes he came home late; looking like he just ran 10 miles, and on others he didn't come back at all. Those nights were pure torture, because I knew very well what he was doing, and my stomach turned at the thought.
Even when I started vamping up my look, tighter jeans and shirts. Somehow playing dress up made me feel slightly good about myself.
But when he didn't even spare me a second look; that was crushed.
It has been a week and a half since I'd been kidnapped, and now with everything I was more than ready to go back to my old life. Praying to God that when I did, I would let go. Let him go, and this silly fantasy I had go too.
I was in my room when I heard foreign but familiar voices down stairs; curiosity got the best of me as I made my way down the hallway. No one ever came here; well not after I came here. I quickly checked my appearance; I looked decent. I wore a black shirt and pants. looking at it as if I could belong here.
I gasped as I came down the stairs at who was in the living room,
The guys from 30 Seconds To Mars, my favorite band since forever. Jared, Shannon and Tomo were greeted by Yibo, they looked like long time friends. Now I was sure this place drove me insane, it couldn't be.
They all looked up at me and I had the pleasure of watching 4 pairs of eyes bulge out, including Yibo's; but I'm sure he just hated that I decided to turn up then. Who would I say I was? I thought I heard Shannon whistle under his breath as I walked up to them. Don't fall I chanted to myself don't make a fool of yourself relax; breathe.
"Oh my goodness, Mars!" I purred, avoiding Yibo. I could feel his eyes gaze burning holes in my brain
"I'm a huge fan of yours, I've always been for a very long time now" I said shaking hands with all of them.
"Are you now?" Jared asked, very pleased,
"Definitely, its great to finally meet all of you. I'm Xiao Zhan by the way," I said smiling.
"It's great to meet you too Zhan" Shannon chimed "Um wow, you look great" he cleared his throat.
"Hands off brother, this one is mine" Jared warned; I blushed. I couldn't believe Jared Leto was flirting with me.Suddenly Yibo cleared his throat,
"Let's get down to business," he said calmly, but it sounded forced "Excuse us would you Zhan?" he turned to me, his gazed fierce.
"No, he should join us, would you?" Jared asked, ha! At leased someone around here wanted my company.
"I would love to" I purred, Jared smiled widely.
Yibo was furious, but he quickly controlled his expression
"Very well then" he said stiffly.
He led us to the large lounge room as we took our seats; I took the single couch chair, crossing my legs. I had to play the part too.
"I've never seen you here before Zhan, what's your relationship to Yibo?" Tomo asked and I froze, in the corner of my eye I saw Yibo tense too.
"He's my lover" Yibo quickly replied, and for a second we all sat there in shocked silence, myself included. Before the guys could look at me I controlled my expression, not wanting to blow the cover.
"I recently asked him to move in with me" he lied so well even I was convinced.
Jared let out a choked laugh "Well I'm sorry man, for making advances on your lover" He said and Yibo shook his head.
"Heck I'm glad you finally got yourself one, nice" Shannon gestured towards me, he turned to Jared "Pay up bro" he murmured.
"What was the bet?" I managed to say, my heart doing somersaults.
"If Yibo would ever have a lover or a girlfriend, Jared betted against it. I knew it would take a special person; but it would ended happen" he laughed
"Congratulations, you were able to tame Yibo here, something most women or men tried and failed".
"What most of us thought was impossible" he added referring to Jared, who frowned and gave him a hundred dollar bill,
There were no words for what I just heard.
"Thanks, I guess" I said, surprised at how steady and normal my voice sounded; I must be really freaked out then...
"I just remembered I had to help Mari with something" I lied, getting up. I had to go somewhere so I could hyperventilate peacefully.
"Aw you're leaving?" Tomo asked, crestfallen
"Yeah unfortunately, but it was awesome meeting you guys, I love your music" I said, that at leased was not a lie.
"Does that mean we are invited to the wedding?" Jared smirked
And here I thought nothing could shock me anymore, I was sadly mistaken.
Yibo looked at me then, I couldn't comprehend the emotion in his eyes; it was so carefully concealed.
I saw red in an instant; these guys were talking about me doing things I knew I could never do; tame him? They were talking about being invited to a wedding that would never happen.
"Of course you are" I tried to keep the sarcasm out of my voice, but I knew Yibo would get it; and quite frankly I didn't care "Actually I think you should perform when we take our first dance as man and wife" I spat.
"What do you think honey?" I turned my gaze to Yibo,
"Yes, that would be great" he replied, much to my surprise; sarcasm was nowhere in his voice.
I put my hands together "its settled then!" I chimed
I deserved an academy award.
"Awesome, we'd be honored" Tomo replied
I turned and muttered a goodbye over my shoulder.
I should've been proud of myself; I was stronger than I gave myself credit for. But why was my heart breaking into a million pieces at 2 of the simplest words, lover and wedding. I made my way into the first floor's hallway, for a moment I leaned against the wall for support. I've never been so exhausted in my life; I couldn't even distinguish if it was physical or emotional. My head and heart were racing as I tried to make sense of what just happened but nothing coherent came to me.
"Zhan? Are you ok?" Zela's voice came through
"Yeah, I just felt a little woozy. I'm fine now," I said, straightening up
"Let's go bowling, I challenge you," I said, grinning
I wanted...needed a distraction.
"Um, I don't know" she said reluctantly,
"Oh come on," I said, grabbing her arm, walking towards the game room.
I didn't see the need for it because he never came here, but then again it's a family estate, he probably spent lots of time here as a kid. My mind wandered back to the cute boy I saw in the picture, he didn't change except that now he's an unbelievably handsome man. There was something in the boy's eyes that I don't see looking at him now, something big happened to him and I know he would never tell me.
Zela turned up the music, noisy pop songs flooded the game room, not my style of music; but I didn't care so I started dancing to the beat.
"Ok you go first" Zela said, smiling at me.
I took a bowling ball and fired at the pins, hitting my first strike.
"got yah!" I added with pride, Zela laughed and clapped hands "Nice shot!" she said, grabbing her ball.
Zela was a brown haired girl with hazel eyes; I thought she was pretty. She was about my age, though she seemed younger than me. We often enjoyed each other's company; she was easy to talk to.
I clapped my hands as she hit her strike, she curtseyed and we both laughed.
I was loosing track of time as we made bet after bet; challenging each other, I was having fun and oblivious to any stress.
The music suddenly stopped and I turned to see who switched it off, I saw Yibo walk towards us, his demeanor standoffish. I sighed not again I thought.
"Hey, turn the music back on" I said, my tone irritated, pouting. I know it was childish of me but I was tired of caring what he thinks of me.
He stopped in front of me and looked at Zela "Excuse us Zela" he said in an eerie calm voice.
My heart started pounding, oh crap! I thought panicked why should I be afraid of him? I did nothing wrong.
"No Zela stay" I said over my shoulder "We haven't finished our game yet" I turned to him "What do you want Yibo?" I asked.
Now we had a full-blown stare down, he turned his gaze back to Zela
"I um, just remembered that I have some laundry to do, see you later Zhan," she said quickly, smiling apologetically then darted out of the game room.
Ugh! Did everyone have to give him his way all the time? Then I remembered yes they do myself included.
"Are you deliberately trying to make me miserable?" I asked, angry now.
I didn't wait for his answer I walked past him and felt a strong hand grab my arm, I froze. My heart pounding out of my chest, his touch always made me go weak in the knees but this time I had some willpower.
I withdrew my arm as though his hand burned me; in truth, it did. His touch alone was enough to set my skin on fire.
Hurt flickered in his eyes for a second then fury replaced it
"What was that in there?" he said, with barely contained rage.
I didn't get what he was referring to...oh my academy award worthy performance. Why was he angry though? I helped him.
"That is called improvising," I said, taking a few cautious steps back "You're welcome" I spat.
"Yeah well you took it a bit too far, the whole 'I'm your biggest fan' charade was uncalled for. They came here to discuss business, not to flirt with you," he said
I was beyond shocked, that's what it was all about? "For your information I 'am a big fan of their music, and just in case you missed it; Jared was the one flirting with me" I said and took steps forward, wanting to make sure he got every word.
"Last time I checked, not flirting with hot guys was not part of our deal, what's it to you anyway huh? I will flirt with whomever I please and I don't need your permission to do it, you don't own me," I said icily, wishing otherwise.
I wouldn't even be counted amongst his least favorite possessions; I tried to squish the brief stab of pain. He continued to glare at me,
"He liked me, didn't he?" I asked smiling genuinely, at leased someone wanted me "I should call him when I get out of here, I'm sure he would love to take me out" I giggled. That struck a chord.
"You will do no such thing!" he shouted, his voice full of authority and possessiveness towering over me, my face inches from him. I was surprised I didn't stagger back. I lifted my chin bravely, even though my insides were turned to marshmallow.
"Oh no? And who's going to stop me?" I asked, keeping the tremble out of my voice. For a moment I thought he was going to say something but then he breathed in and chuckled darkly.
"No one" he said peacefully, taking steps back like I was contagious
"You're right, what you do does not concern me, I was merely cautioning you. You're free to do whatever you want, like you said I don't own you" he said, his tone detached and distant. He turned and walked out too.
I should've been happy, I won...but at what cost? I threw a ball in frustration.
I didn't want to go on a date with Jared, or anyone else for that matter; hell I didn't even mean to give him the wrong idea.
I just wanted Yibo and I could never have him; I saw that now.
I shook myself trying not to let sorrow overtake me, I wasn't going to fall apart what was the use? I thought as I walked out of the room with my head held high.