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YIBO POV
I showed Zhan most of the castle's best rooms, breathing easy as I saw him start to relax and enjoy the tour.
He seemed more interested in me, where I came from, my family, my beliefs...
I answered where I could, but this conversation unsettled me. I was used to people asking me questions about what I did for a living, how much money I had, places I've been to.
But this one was personal, and I would rather much not discuss it.
We were in my study when something caught his attention; I turned to see what it was. It was a family portrait of my parents and me taken when I was 9, a year before they died.
"You haven't changed a bit" he smiled, referring to the little boy grinning in the picture "Are those your parents?" he asked, turning his gaze to me.
"Yes," I said,
"Your mother is very beautiful, I see where you get your eyes" he added then blushed as though he said something he didn't want to.
I shrugged; I would've said that awhile back, I used to think my mother was the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. But looking at Zhan now I would say it was a tie. I smiled to myself sorry mom I thought.
"Do they live here in Beijing?" his voice suddenly came through,
Taken by surprise
"No, they died a year after that picture was taken. Car accident" I simply lied. His expression turned remorseful,
"I'm sorry," he whispered softly.
"It was a long time ago," I offered, hoping he would let the topic drop.
My parents were murdered in front of me but he didn't need to know that. I suppressed a shudder at the memory that was clear as though it happened yesterday. Mari is the only person who knew how my parents' death really affected me, having served them when I was young. She's known me my whole life. Her and my parents were all I cared about growing up, I was loved and cherished; that's all one can ever ask for in life.
Loosing my parents the way I did left a huge scar in my soul, I was never the same since then...
"Where are we exactly?" he asked, when we got to the roof of the castle
"We're just outside of Beijing, it's a 20 minute drive back to the city," I said looking at the stars that were slowly showing themselves in the sky.
I wondered what they would think of me now, but then again I guess I knew. This was not the life they would've wanted for me.
"So you just decided to build a castle in the middle of nowhere?" He asked, confusion in his voice.
"No, this is a family estate. I inherited it from my father" I said meeting his gaze
"No siblings?" I shook my head and he nodded, satisfied.
I raised my eyebrows at him; he paused then sighed
"Okay, I'm letting you off the the hook...for now" he grinned,
"For now" I agreed, happy the interrogation was over.
"Because I want to show you one last thing," I said, glad to switch the topic to more comfortable spheres.
"What?" he asked, surprised
"My fetish" I grinned at him; leading the way.
I opened the door to my massive garage, flicking on the light.
For a moment he looked shocked as he took in his surroundings, then his expression seemed amused.
"Cars" he exclaimed looking at me
"Why I'm I not surprised" he giggled
Hearing Zhan laugh was truly a gift; I hardly heard it.
"Let's see, you got a Lamborghini, a Porsche, a Ferrari, an Audi R8, a Bugatti, an Aston Martin and two Ducati bikes" he said
"I'm impressed" he added, sarcasm clear in his voice. I chuckled pleased with his knowledge of automobiles.
He walked over to the Martin; I quietly followed,
"It's a Vanquish," he said softly, touching the hood
"I didn't notice"
Now I was shocked, he looked slightly emotional. What did this car mean to him?
He must've seen the confusion in my face because he took a deep breath.
"It was my dad's favourite car. He absolutely loved it" he smiled, but it looked pained.
"Was?" I noted the past tense,
"He died few years ago, cancer," he said clearing his voice.
Now it was my turn to feel remorseful, yet again I found myself fighting the need to hold him, comfort him.
"I'm sorry," I said, my voice laced with sincerity.
He closed his eyes and took another deep breath, he opened them and they were peaceful. I thought I heard him whisper "thank you" guess I was wrong.
"He used to tell me that he would one day take me on a ride in it" he laughed without humour
"If he was here, he would've been freaking out" he added drawing his hand back from the car.
I could see that he was close with his father, his death was still fresh in his mind; I realized we shared a common pain. But I would try to remedy his; people like him should not feel pain, it was utterly wrong.
"Well I'm not your dad," I said, grabbing the keys to the Martin from the key holder. "But I can surely take you on a ride" I opened the passenger door, gesturing for him to get in.
A strange emotion was in his eyes as he looked at me then smiled,
"I would love to" he said getting in the car. I closed his door and went over to my side. The sensor caught the sound of the car purring to life and the garage door automatically opened.
He watched me closely as I sped out of the estate in to the road heading to the city "Where are you taking me?"
"To the city, I'm going to show you Beijing like you've never seen before" I said smiling at him "you're not going to run on me, are you?" I teased.
"Would it make a difference if I did?" he said, I shook my head,
He sighed, "Well I'm not, I promised to stay and that's what I'll do"
For some reason his statement brought me slight happiness.
We talked and laughed as we went through Beijing's most famous sites and roads.
I wanted to know him more and I wanted him to allow me to do that; not perform some background check on him.
"You're not from here, are you?" I asked, easing into it. He seemed surprised at the sudden change in the conversation.
"No, I'm from a small town in Chongqing. I moved here few years ago" he replied quietly. This guy had some secrets and I wanted to know them all.
"Does your family live there?" not wanting to frighten him off, I started with the simple questions; one's I already knew the answer to.
"Yeah my mom, elder sister and little brother" he said "and all my other relatives"
"So you're in Beijing alone?" I asked; I didn't understand why he would want to be alone in a city as big as Beijing. "Why did you leave when you're whole family is there?" I asked and he shrugged,
"It's a long story," he said trying to dismiss it, I wasn't having that.
"I've got time to kill" I persisted, grinning at the killing part
He looked at me reluctantly, probably figuring since I spilled my guts; well a portion of them...then he should to. He sighed,
"I took my dad's death pretty hard, for some time I've thought that maybe if I did something differently, he would still be alive today" he said sadly, taking in a shaky breath.
"It was hard you know, watching him like that and knowing there was nothing I could do to help him. When he died it was the darkest time of my life" he looked at me then, I could see how much pain he was in...how much pain he's still in.
"Time heals all wounds right?" he said chuckling without humour
"In time my family learned to let him go and move on, even my mom" he smiled sadly
"But I didn't...I couldn't".
"It hurt and worried my family to see me so lost and empty. I didn't want them to suffer anymore because of me; I wanted an escape, an adventure. Starting life anew. So I told them I wanted to move to Beijing" He said.
I paused for a while, taking it all in.
"And they let you go? Just like that?" I asked, finding it hard to believe
"Didn't they try to stop you?" I asked.
He shook his head,
"I don't think they even had a choice, plus they didn't want to hold me back. I guess some light returned to my eyes at the thought of coming here that they couldn't stop me. If I was happy, they would let me go," he said.
"There was nothing left for me back in Chongqing but heartbreak and memories, it's the only home I'd ever known but I had to do this and I'm happy I did" He added smiling genuinely.
"I'm guessing you found you're adventure then?" I asked, parking the car in the garage.
"I guess you can say that" he laughed to himself "I also found peace, and serenity, for once I feel like I'm alive again. Its what I wanted coming here" he looked down and I knew the conversation was over.
"I hope you get everything you want," I said sincerely, somehow wishing I could be amongst those things. But bottom line is that I couldn't.
"I guess it would be weird to say you too" he chuckled, referring to everything I had. If he only knew that the things I really wanted; I could never have.
Before I could stop myself I reached over to tug a lock of his hair behind his ear, he looked at me and then I saw it; he wanted me just as I wanted him.
"We better get inside" he said breathlessly, and then he was out of the car in an instant I followed him through to the lounge.
"I'm sorry I made you miss dinner," I said, realising everyone was gone
H shook his head slowly, smiling "No, I had fun...thank you" he said.
I nodded and turned to read the message Mari left on the fridge.
"Where's everyone?" he asked taking note of the still silence in the castle, I thought I heard anxiety in his voice.
"They've turned in for the night, most of them are in the far end of the castle and others in the penthouse" I said "Mari left dinner in the oven"
He nodded; having Zhan here alone was bringing back dangerously tempting memories. I was bewildered at how much I still wanted him; it was unusual for me. Normally if I had man or woman once I didn't want seconds.
We had dinner quietly...I looked at him wondering if I should bring up last night;
I didn't want to but it had to be done.
"I'm sorry I was less than a gentleman last night, I just want to make sure there is no misunderstanding between us" I said, he was shocked but quickly recovered.
"Do you always apologize after sleeping with others?" he asked,
"No" I replied chuckling
"But you were a virgin and I don't make a habit of deflowering others either; they always have expectations"
He flinched "And what are these 'expectations'?" he asked, clearly offended.
"You know, they always expect the guy they sleep with to be the one, and I'm not the one for anybody" I said,
struggling to keep my voice detached, I should've never slept with him, I didn't deserve the gift he gave me.
For a moment I thought I saw hurt in his eyes but he dropped them and laughed darkly.
"Don't lose any sleep over me Yibo, I don't expect anything from you" I suppressed a flinch but he had already turned heading for the stairs. He muttered a "Good night" over his shoulder.
I watched him leave, wishing I could stop him; what would I tell him? That he was wrong, when I knew very well that he was right.
I didn't mean to belittle his virtue or make him feel like he was just a one-night stand; he was more than that, which is why I had to say that.
I wanted him too much but I couldn't touch him...make love to him again, without giving him something concrete, it was just wrong and he was too good to be treated like that.
My fists came down at the table in frustration and I went to my own bedroom, his presence in the room the night before would always haunt me.